


Untitled Hook Belle Time Travel Curse Story

by Lotornomiko



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Angst, Eventual Smut, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2018-02-14
Packaged: 2018-04-05 06:54:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 89,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4170240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lotornomiko/pseuds/Lotornomiko
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU story where instead of wiping her memories and identity, the curse sends Belle back in time, to Neverland's past, and straight into a certain pirate's path. Can she navigate the treacherous elements of Neverland, and avoid causing a paradox and letting her heart become intertwined with Hook's? Will she ever get back to Storybrooke, and will she even want to by the time this plays out?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Standard Disclaimer Time! I do not own Once Upon A Time or it's characters. Nor do I make any money off of this story. It is done purely for entertainment purposes. 
> 
> \---Michelle

It was a lonely stretch of road that the car traveled upon, nothing around for miles in either direction save for the many trees that made up the forest. They crowded both sides of the pavement, as if the forest itself was attempting to take back the land, starting with this very road. A sign in the distance even had leafy branches eating at it's metal, the words just barely readable when the car's headlights passed over it's front. 

Now leaving Storybrooke, the sign warned, the car beginning to slow to a stop. The subtle noise of the tires, the purr of the engine, and the whistle of the wind was the only sounds to break up the uncomfortable silence inside the car. A silence Belle herself was at fault for, the woman barely able to mumble out forced replies to Rumplestiltskin's attempt at chatter. All too soon, the man had taken the hint, leaving Belle to her own private thoughts. 

Her thoughts weren't particularly happy this night, Belle finding herself troubled. The man sitting beside her was the source of much of that trouble, Belle left to think and worry, and try to understand all that had happened on this, a most eventful day. The revelations that had occurred, the things she had learned, they weren’t limited to just only his present actions, but to that of his past. Never a shining example of the good and just in their world, Belle had still always tried to believe in the best side of Rumplestiltskin. Tried to see what others did not. The good that offset the bad, the man behind the monster. She couldn't at all claim it had been easy, especially at the start of their association. Not when she had been his prisoner, a veritable slave forced to do his bidding in return for the aid he had given her kingdom. Back then she had been frightened of him, and doubted often the wisdom of her self sacrifice, for he had been mean if not to her, then to others, as vicious and as cruel as she had expected a monster to be when guarding his possessions. 

The blood that had spilled never truly forgotten, Belle wondered now when she had begun to excuse Rumplestiltskin for his misdeeds. Was it when he had spared that thief and his family, or was it when Rumplestiltskin had stopped having Belle clean up the blood of his victims? Had the kindness Rumplestiltskin had shown her, blinded Belle to all that had gone on? Was she allowing herself to be willfully ignorant of his true nature as a coping mechanism that went hand in hand with her love for him? 

No longer certain of anything where she and Rumplestiltskin were concerned, Belle could only worry and over think the day’s events. Everything from the pirate who had chased her about the library, to the history forced upon her, to Rumplestiltskin's own behavior. Worrying inside, in private, for she hadn't the courage to ask Rumplestiltskin if it was all true. If he had really murdered his wife in cold blood. 

Feeling like a coward for she feared that the answer was yes, Belle could only sit there in that awkward silence, the uncomfortable feeling maintained between them. Wondering about the lies, remembering the violence, and the honest pain gleaming in the pirate's eyes. It had been more than just his hand lost, and it had been about more than Baelfire's shawl being stolen. There was an ugly, painful history between the pirate and Rumplestiltskin, and it both hurt and terrified Belle that she hadn't learned the truth of it from him. 

Hurting and frightened, Belle couldn't bring herself to admit to Rumplestiltskin what the pirate Hook had told her. She couldn't bring herself to ask for his side of the story, and yet neither could she forget Hook's either. The pirate Hook had done his damage well, planting seeds of doubt and mistrust into Belle. She felt sick, scared of the man besides her, scared of what he'd do, what she'd do, if Hook's words really did prove to be true. 

True or not, she couldn't stop the echo of them, the memory of the raw hurt, and the vicious anger in which Hook had spoken both with. The pain in his eyes, the tremble of his lips pulling back in a snarl, as the pirate had told her in no uncertain terms how Mila had been killed, murdered by her own husband. Something like panic had filled her then, a terrified reaction to what had to be lie, she hadn't thought her heart could take it if Hook had been speaking the truth. 

But the more she denied it, the more she shouted at him the word no, the more Hook had insisted it as the truth. Leaving Belle the one shaking, her eyes blinking back the tears that had sprung unwanted to her eyes. She had felt frightened then, not of the pirate who had seemed the immediate threat, but of the idea that he was telling her the truth. And on the heels of that new fright, Belle had remembered earlier in the day, of how she had asked Rumplestiltskin about what had happened to his wife, and the awkward side stepping that had followed. 

It had been clear even then that Rumplestiltskin was evading her questions, hiding something important from her. But Belle had so wanted to believe, she had grasped for what little he did say. Not so much lying to herself, as refusing to even consider that Rumplestiltskin could have had a direct hand in Mila's death, to hear Hook accuse him, had in effect gut Belle whole. 

It wasn't a complete hollowing out though. She wasn't empty inside, though it felt as though all her positivity and hope had fled in the face of her fear and her anger. And yes Belle was angry, wondering if she was a fool for having believed in Rumplestiltskin for so long, angry at the pirate for breaking apart the blissful ignorance that she had been wrapping herself up in. Most of all, Belle was angry at herself for not having the courage to demand answers from Rumplestiltskin. It didn't matter that she was afraid, that he might be a murderer, Belle was letting Hook win through her inability to act, to ask a simple question of whether or not it was true. 

The words lodged firmly in her throat, Belle knew that Rumplestiltskin had to suspect something had happened. But HIS questions weren't coming any more than hers, the man perhaps just as frightened as Belle of what must be said, and of what Hook might have told her. So they sat in silent impasse, staring out of the front windshield of Rumplestiltskin's car. The shawl, the ever important catalyst of today's crushing events, lay on the seat between them. As precious an item as it was to the man that she harbored such complex feelings for, Rumplestiltskin still made no move to touch the shawl. Not with his hands gripping the wheel, fingers clenched so tight, it was a strangle hold. 

Seeing Rumplestiltskin so tense, agitated Belle further in turn. Were his questions about to start? Were HERS? Would she be able to stop her fears from being voiced? Would she still be able to see the good inside him? Would Belle still be able to claim in honesty that she still loved Rumplestiltskin? And then her fingers clenched on her lap, Belle fighting to hold still, to not so much as allow a betraying quiver to go through her. But it was too late, she was scared, her love knowing doubt for the first time in ages. 

"Belle." At last the silence was broken, Rumplestiltskin following her name with a drawn out sigh. The weary weight of his troubles was in that sound, the man no more relishing what HAD to be said than she. They were both acting as cowards, had been since the moment Belle had drawn Rumplestiltskin off of the pirate's ship. They had had hours since then, to talk, to question, to comfort and reassure one another, and yet neither had so much as tried. 

"I....did he hurt you?" 

"I'm fine." Belle said, glancing sidelong at Rumplestiltskin. His jaw clenched in response, Rumplestiltskin maintaining his straight ahead stare. 

"That's not what I asked." His voice seemed to resonate with his effort to control his anger, Rumplestiltskin perhaps imagining the worst. His grip on the wheel went white knuckled, and at her gasp, Rumplestiltskin finally looked her way. Seeing her fright, he expelled another long breath, but didn't let go of the wheel. "I'm sorry Belle." He said to her. "I just wish you had let me finish him off." 

"It's over." Belle told him. "If Hook is at all smart, he'll leave Storybrooke as ordered. You'll never have to worry about him again." 

"It's not him I am worried about." Rumplestiltskin said, and finally let go of the wheel. "Belle I..." 

Somehow Belle managed to hold herself still, as Rumplestiltskin took hold of one of her hands. "I don't know what I'd do if I had lost you." 

The words spoken made her nauseous, Belle giving him a weak ghost of a smile. "But you haven't." 

The look he gave her was searching, as if Rumplestiltskin was trying to see into her very soul. Whatever Rumplestiltskin did see didn't exactly comfort him, the man nodding slowly, as though coming to a decision. Belle had to remember to breathe, wondering if the truth would be spoken, if their love could survive it. 

"There's a lot we need to talk about." He said to her. Belle could only give an uncertain nod, feeling tears prick at the back of her eyes as she waited for Rumplestiltskin to continue. "And we will....eventually...But Belle. I am asking you now, to still believe in me please." 

Another searching look, and his voice took on a pleading not with it. "I'm still the man you fell in love with." 

"Yes, you are." She agreed out loud. But inside, Belle no longer felt as though she knew who that really was. "And you're right. We do need to talk. About everything." 

"Everything." But that seemed to make him flinch, Rumplestiltskin fearing the truth as much as Belle did. 

As uncertain as she now was, Belle couldn't not take pity on him, giving Rumplestiltskin's hand a squeeze. "It'll be okay....." 

Rumplestiltskin bowed his head, overcome with emotion. "I nearly lost everything today thanks to that pirate." He brought their hands to the shawl on the seat, the rough texture of the wool scratching against her skin. "If not for you, Belle..." 

"I know how much this shawl means to you." Belle interrupted. "It's your once chance to find your son after so many years. How could I not act to save it?" 

"I'm not just talking about the shawl." 

"I know." Was her simple answer back. "But all that matters right now is finding your son." She pressed her fingers to his lips, silencing his protest as the first of her tears worked their way free. "We do have to talk. But that can wait." 

Maybe it was the coward's way to wait on this. But maybe just maybe, with time they'd both figure out what to say, how to handle the truth together, and what outcome it might ultimately lead them to. Maybe Rumplestiltskin would handle things better, maybe Belle would, maybe she need not fear his rage. Maybe Rumplestiltskin would have finally learned to let go of the things, the people, that he viewed as his. 

Her head filled with the many maybes to be had, Belle couldn't stop the doubt that curled through her stomach, the uncertain voice that whispered in her head. Because it was now a lot easier to see the darkness inside Rumplestiltskin eating at whatever sparks of goodness she had always stubbornly clung to the belief of. 

As much as she had questions for the man beside her, the hows and whys of what had really happened to his wife fell to the side in the face of the questions Belle had been loathe to ask herself. The questions that had her wondering if she could truly love a murderer, if she could trust him, stay with him, and above all come away with her life intact regardless of what Belle ultimately decided to do. She feared the answers because Belle now feared the man, Hook's voice a sly whisper in her ear, asking her why she thought she'd be any different from all the others. The people who had left Rumplestiltskin, the ones who had walked away, and the ones that had been killed. 

The sick feeling never gone for long, Belle drew back her hand. Rumplestiltskin's own eyes looked pained, and Belle could only guess at what thoughts ran through his own head. Probably nothing worse than the ones that she was having, Belle reminding herself it was the ultimate in acts of trust to go with him, a man whose actions she now feared, to a place far removed from any who would hear a cry for help. 

Hating that she had had that thought, that she had let Hook poison the relationship that she had had with Rumplestiltskin, Belle fumbled with the car door. By the time she got it open, and stepped onto the pavement of the road, Belle had her face under control. Her own deep breaths accompanied her to the very edge of the curse's boundary, the red paint sprayed across it in a thick line. One more step, and it would be the end of her, her memories gone, her very identity wiped out as Belle was replaced by whoever the curse would have her be. 

There was a slight temptation to step over, to embrace the purity of an existence that would forget what she had learned this day. But Belle wasn't about to quit on herself, or hand Hook so complete a victory. She'd find a way to cope, a way to deal with the truth, whatever it really was. And maybe someday she'd be able to not only forgive Rumplestiltskin, but herself for letting her love doubt for even a moment. 

The fear of it, of the truth and of Rumplestiltskin's nature at hand, was one she had to confront. They both had to, if they were ever going to move on from it. But it wouldn't be today, the fear too strong, the courage fleeing them both. The tip tap of Rumplestiltskin's cane on the pavement was a slow steady contrast to the fast thumping beat of Belle's heart, the woman turning towards the man. He had the shawl in his hand, the buttery yellow wool preserved by magic so as not to have fallen to the ravages of time. 

Wordlessly, Belle took the shawl from Rumplestiltskin, and a vial was produced from one of his coat's pockets. It was a slim container, with a bright blue liquid that didn't look nearly magical enough for what it was about to do. 

Giving her his own version of a forced smile, Rumplestiltskin's anxiety showed in his eyes. He was nervous, but his hand didn't so much as shake or waste one drop of the potion. And as the liquid soaked into the center of the shawl, a magical glow accompanied it, the blue spreading, covering the entire length of the shawl. Belle felt the tingles in her hands, the magic touching even her. 

"Is that it?" She asked out loud, glancing up from the shawl. "Has it worked?" 

"Only one way to find out." Rumplestiltskin bowed his head, giving Belle the honor of placing the shawl around his neck and shoulders. She did so, smoothing her hands down the length of one end, and more tears came unbidden to her eyes. 

"Good luck." Belle said, and meant it. The sincerity sensed in her words had Rumplestiltskin smile for real, the man briefly caressing the back of his fingers over her right cheek. Belle covered his hand, closed her eyes for one moment, then let go as Rumplestiltskin stepped over the boundary of the curse. 

The touch of magic was around them, Belle so close to the edge, she felt the wind of it lift up her hair, and rustle through her clothing. She snapped open her eyes, saw Rumplestiltskin take two uncertain steps forward, clearly looking around. His name was on the tip of her tongue, Belle holding both her breath and her voice quiet, bearing witness to whatever might happen next. 

Rumplestiltskin turned, looked at her with his head tilted to the side, as though he was struggling to remember. Then their eyes met, and his face broke out into a delighted smile, Rumplestiltskin pointing a finger at her with a laugh. "Belle!" 

"It worked then?" She asked, keeping on her side of the marked boundary. 

"More than worked." Rumplestiltskin looked happier than he had all day, quickly stepping closer to her. "I remember everything!" 

"That's wonderful. I'm so happy for you, Rumple." Belle said, taking his hand when his expression sobered. 

"Belle I wish you could come with me..." 

"I know Rumple, I know." Belle said. "But you'll be back once you've found your son." 

"And you Belle?" Another of his soul searching looks. "You'll be waiting for me?" 

"I...of course." She said with a bow of her head so that her hair fell forward to hide her face. It was at that precise moment that a loud shot of sound rang out, the thunderous punctuation to her agreement. Belle wanted to turn and look around, but it all happened so fast, first the sound, and then the pain, her body jerking forward as though pushed by some unseen force's momentum. She didn't even have time to look up at Rumplestiltskin, her mouth frozen on a shocked scream. 

"Belle!" She heard Rumplestiltskin scream, his arms going around her, trying to break her fall. But she was dropping too fast, bringing him down with her, and Belle couldn't remember where the boundary was, and which side she was going to land on. 

"Belle! Belle!" She heard Rumplestiltskin repeatedly scream, his voice almost drowning out that of another. The pirate, Hook, the snarl in his words as he growled from somewhere behind her. 

"I wouldn't count on it." 

Feeling her hands tingle in what she assumed was anticipation of hitting the pavement, Belle was shocked when she fell right through it instead. She managed a scream, seeing endless black around her, feeling wisps of what Belle thought might be clouds, and seeing a bright moon that was far too full for the one that had shown in Storybrooke. Scared and confused, Belle had only seconds to think before she hit water, the cold embrace of some unknown sea swallowing her up whole. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...*twiddles thumbs* Okay so I haven't written ANYTHING In three months. I kept getting sick, and then it was incredibly hard to get back into writing, to even get motivated. I had this particular idea first when I was sick with strep throat...or maybe it was the sinus infection. But I was too sick to try to write it. I wanted to write something for my existing stories first, but this story's set up won't leave my head, to the point it's distracting me from other stories. So I wanted to get the set up written, and then hopefully update something else, like Trade off or something. 
> 
> I also feel incredibly rusty at writing. X_X 
> 
> \----Michelle


	2. Two

The water was an ice cold shock to her senses, it's near freezing temperature immediately apparent. Belle's whole body went rigid, the flesh itself prickling in reaction. The clothing Belle wore? Good for little, her jacket and tights only just a little thicker in fabric than the rest of her thin layered clothing. 

Cold beyond belief, it was pure self preserving instinct that had Belle kick out her legs, and flail her arms about. A mistake on one hand, for the pain in her shoulder immediately flared stronger, causing Belle to hunch in on herself before the pain had time to chase away the worst of her shock. And with shock gone, panic then followed, Belle flailing everything but her injured arm, seeming to spin in endless turns that accomplished nothing but to leave her completely disoriented. 

She was unable to tell up from down, unable to see much further than a few feet in front of her. The water was dark, and there was no sign of the full moon she had glimpsed during her fall. Belle had no idea what direction to try to travel in, if she was near the surface, or if there was danger near. Belle only knew that she was sinking, and that her arm not only hurt terribly, it was steadily bleeding out into the water around her. 

As panicked and disoriented as she was, there were a few alarming facts that were repeating in her mind. Without any light to guide her, she might end up swimming further away from the surface then towards it. Her lungs were already close to bursting with their need for air, and three, that her blood would attract predators quickly underwater. Her poor heart beat out a frantic tempo, Belle trying not to think about the many types of carnivores that could be lurking just within reach in the darkness around her. 

And then sound intruded in her awareness, something other than the muffled distortion in her ears. The sound very similar to that of a whale, or at least what Belle hoped was a whale, and the answering moan of something even closer. She kicked out again when that something brushed a fin against her side, nearly screamed as something else prodded against her bleeding shoulder. Then came to a decision, Belle choosing a direction with a prayer that it was the right one, and swimming as best she could, given her injury. 

A large shadow passed over head, darkening her surroundings completely. Belle stilled in the water, fearing some man eater had at last come to investigate the scent of her blood. She couldn't believe this was how her story would end, that she would end up a feast for some monster of the deep. 

But the killing bite never came. Instead, something wrapped around her, some coarse fibers she couldn't break free of, Belle finding herself scooped up and dragged through the waters. She couldn't see anything now, but she could hear, the great groaning moan of some under sea creature, more than one judging by the cacophony that rose in a great angry protest as Belle was dragged out of their reach. 

Belle was almost uncomprehending when she broke through the surface, the great fishing net she found herself tangled in continuing to draw her upwards. The full moon Belle had spied earlier, was all but hidden by thick clouds, the sea as dark from above as it had been in it's embrace. She couldn't spy any land so to speak of, but that wasn't saying much given how black a night it was. So black, it made the details of the ship impossible to see, her net starting to spin, twisting this way and that way, and adding to Belle's nauseous feeling. 

Higher she was hauled, the net's passage giving her a brief glimpse inside one of the ship's portholes. Candle lit lamps didn't light the room enough, or maybe Belle was simply too in shock to pick out any one detail, let alone twenty. Below her she saw a large fin crest the water, and above her and slightly to the right was the voices of men. They were shouting, or one man in particular was, his harassing voice sounding oddly familiar though Belle had yet to place why. 

"Put your backs into it men!" The voice was screaming. "Or the captain will have your heads!" 

Grumbling followed that scream, the men not at all shy about voicing their displeasure to a point. The net kept on turning, and then it was high enough to clear the railing of the ship. Spinning faster, Belle caught sight of a man in the shadows, his arms extending towards her. Something wickedly curved caught on one of the net's loops, a hook of some kind being used to draw Belle towards him. She was almost in his arms, when the ship rocked from the violent force of something hitting it's side. 

"Mermaids!" Came the shout, and Belle was none too gently deposited on the floor, still caught in the net. 

"All hands to your positions!" Came the answering cry, followed by the thunderous sounds of men's heavy footsteps pounding on the wooden planks of the ship. Through the fall of wet hair, and the loops of the net she was completely tangled in, Belle spied the shadowy figures of men running about the ship. An open hatch had even more of the sailors emerging from below deck, steel and iron tipped harpoons clutched in many a hands' grasp. 

A loud thunk of something had Belle trying to turn in it's direction, a heavy black cannon ball rolling past her with no effort being made to stop it. It's loss didn't matter, there were plenty more being lifted and primed into the cannons, by three strong men whose arms bulged with muscles. A brief spark of flame that wasn't enough to properly light her surroundings, the fire eating at it's wick as the cannons were aimed at the water. Belle actually screamed at the loud shot of sound that followed, the heavy wet rope of the net keeping her from lifting her tired arms up to clamp hands over her ears. 

The noise of the cannons already too much for her, Belle heard the shouts of the men, the sound of many creatures letting out a moaning song that held an ethereal note to it that hadn't been apparent under the water. It was a beautiful ANGRY song, and it was terrifying to hear, even safe aboard a ship that was rocking violently as the seas around it churned continuously. 

It made footing slippery, water slapping over the sides of the railing, and onto the deck. Many of the sailors had tethered themselves with rope as thick, if not thicker than that of the netting Belle found herself caught in. They gripped the rail with one hand, their other busy with the harpoons. Stabbing them in a downwards motion, the men cursing, yelling, their snarled out words lost amidst the cannon fire and the sea creatures' song. 

A figure ran by her, Belle shifting about as best she could to see the shadow of a man reaching the ship's steer. He was shouting something too, and Belle didn't need light to know he was struggling with the turning of that great wheel. The ship's own protest was added to the booming sounds, the groan of it's weight as it was forced to begin a turn. Somewhere, a man abandoned the railing, rushing instead to unfurl more sail. That immediately caught the wind's fancy, the sails filling out, giving the ship a much needed boost in speed. 

The song didn't end, but it was distorted by the angry shrieks of what sounded like women. That sound would follow them for what Belle thought was miles, before fading as one by one, the creatures abruptly gave up the chase. And with the receding of the song, and the end of the cannon fire, other sound trickled into Belle's consciousness now. The men breathing a sigh of relief that no one had been lost this time. The remaining cannon balls' metal thunking, as they were returned to their barrel holder. The wind whistling though the night, the much gentler sound of a sea that was now tranquil. And finally, the sound of feet approaching her, Belle's heart not losing it's frantic beat, her thoughts just as wild and panicked as before, not to mention confused. Because she didn't know where she was, didn't know what had happened to her exactly. But Belle was certain she had heard the word mermaids being shouted, and the woman knew no such creature existed in the waters of Storybrooke's harbor. 

There was no time to wonder, to truly think and consider what was happening to her. Not with the blood loss and her fright working against her, Belle pale skinned and woozy. She no longer had the strength to move, to try and free herself from the net. She simply lay where she had been left, and blinked up at the man who now stood over her. Another man stood at his back, a lamp in hand as the pair looked down at Belle. She didn't recognize either one, but then she hadn't expected to. Nor did Belle expect the soft curse that followed, or the large dagger that was drawn out of a scabbard on the man's thigh. 

But she wasn't immediately cut free of the net. The men were looking at her with a mixture of excitement and suspicion, and something Belle could have almost sworn was hope. She didn't understand any of those things, at least not in relation to her. 

"Help me." She tried to demand, but it came out a whispered croak. If they understood her, the men didn't show it, the pair studying her for longer than Belle liked. She liked it even less, when she was prodded with the tip of the dagger, the blade none too gentle as it dug into her injured shoulder. 

"It bleeds." One said, as both men peered at the blood on the dagger's point. 

"The blood, it's red...you know what this means....?" 

"Aye." Agreed the one with the lamp, and there was an oddly triumphant quality to the sound of his words. "She's real." 

"Real..." whispered the one holding the dagger, and then both men's attention whipped from it to Belle's face. But it didn't linger there long, the men doing a slow, presumptuous look over of Belle's body. Too pale to manage a blush of any kind, Belle still felt angry not to mention confused by these men's actions. 

"Help..." This time her demand died down in a gasp, the dagger being inserted into one of the net's loops, and violently, viciously jerked upwards. The action was repeated, the second man setting down the lamp, to draw his own knife from his belt. Aided by it, the two men worked to cut Belle free of the net, leaving her legs for last. It took only minutes at best, for though the rope was thick and coarse, their blades were sharper than seemed normal. 

While Belle was being cut free of the net, the other men moved about the ship. Talking quietly amongst themselves, slapping each other on the back, one even pausing to open a barrel of drink for them all. She actually didn't hear the third man approach, his footsteps lost to the other noises of the ship. But not his gasp, Belle whipping her head about in his direction. She nearly gasped herself, because Belle recognized him, everything from the kind eyes that she considered a lie, to the red cap on his head, the man known as Smee turning to yell for his captain. 

That voice was the same voice she had first heard when being drawn out of the sea, and onto the ship. The very voice she had recognized but hadn't been able to place. But knowing whose voice it was, didn't offer her any comfort, Belle remembering what Smee had tried to do to her back in Storybrooke. If it hadn't been for Rumplestiltskin's magic, Smee really would have succeeded in wiping out Belle's memories and personality. 

"You!" Belle tried to hiss, but her voice was still so whisper soft. And Smee's shouting was so loud, drowning out her attempts to speak. But not the sound of a sturdy pair of boots, the footsteps strong and sure where Smee's had been sneakily quiet. 

"All right Smee. I'm here." Came a husky accented voice that was as confidant sounding as his steps. "What do you lot have there?" There was a pause, and Belle spied the captain at the same exact moment he laid eyes on her. "Or should I say who?" He asked, and eyes she already knew were a dark blue roamed over her from head to toe, before settling a curious gaze to Belle's shocked one. 

Shock wasn't the only thing Belle was feeling in the moment, a tremor of fright she was too familiar and uncomfortable with, and a spike of honest to goodness anger filling her. For here was yet another man she recognized, a man who had been both the torturer and the tormented, terrifying Belle one moment, then making her feel pity the next. Giving her hope, then dashing it, taking from her the comfort of all Belle had thought to be true, theirs was a complex history even given the short amount of time spent together. 

Short though the time may be, he had still had an effect on her. So many emotions caused, many in direct conflict of one another. She feared him, might even despise him, but above all Belle felt sorry for him. Though it was hard to remember why, when she was cold, wet and shaking, her still bleeding shoulder a constant throbbing pain that made it difficult to think past. 

So difficult, she couldn't think straight to notice he was different from when she had last seen him. That the bruising and the black eye were gone, that the clothes while the same, were not as worn and weary, the leather not as aged as it had once been. His openly curious expression, held only a shade of the pain that had once seemed ever present in his eyes, and he wore none of the agitation. 

He almost seemed approachable now, a figure not meant to be feared. Especially when he gave her the slightest of smiles, bending on one knee to get closer to her. She could see the sea's touch upon him, the salty droplets that clung to his lashes, and his hair soaked with it. He had been too close to the railing at one point, to avoid the water splashing over it onto the deck. But he was far from bedraggled, wearing the water in a way that Belle might have begrudgingly acknowledged as sexy. 

"What strange fish have we stolen from the sea this time?" He murmured to her, but it wasn't Belle who answered but one of the men. 

"She's not one of THEM." There was excitement crackling in the man's voice. "Her blood runs red." 

A slight widening of the captain's eyes, as though the news truly surprised him. Belle tried to shrink back when he reached out to her, the man making an attempt at a soothing sound. Her nostrils flared in response, breathing seemed difficult when his fingers gently prodded her injured shoulder. He kept his eyes right on her, right up to the moment he eased back to stare at his wet fingers under the direct glare of the lamp. The men around him all seemed to lean forward, as though unable to believe what they were seeing. 

"Red indeed." Their captain said, but his voice was such Belle couldn't read the emotion behind such a confirmation. She couldn't understand why her blood and it's color would even matter, and Belle was getting tired of being stared at and poked and prodded. 

"He...help..." Her voice a stronger whisper this time, all eyes went immediately to her, and then to her lips when her tongue flicked across it nervously. 

"Smee, wake the doctor." The captain's order had the oldest of the men run off. "Can you stand?" He asked of Belle, and she merely blinked owlishly at the hand he held out to her. His smile was a tolerant one, the dark haired captain seizing hold of her wrist, his other arm going around her. She felt the cold of the metal even through the thin layer of her sweater, Belle attempting to shy away. 

"Easy love, I've got you." She was pulled against him, her legs starting to tremble uncontrollably. She saw the worried gaze, heard the curse from somewhere to her left. "She's lost a lot of blood." 

"The sea wouldn't be so unkind....would it?" Was a muttered comment behind her. 

"When has the sea ever been that kind to us here?" 

"Here...where's here?" Belle managed to murmur, but she was having trouble focusing. The change in position had made her dizzy, made her even sicker. Her legs were abruptly swept out from under her, Belle being lifted and cradled against the captain's chest. 

"Neverland, love." She heard him whisper in her ear. "This here is Neverland." 

The first of a hysterical giggle rose and lodged firmly in her throat. "Neverland?" Belle scoffed weakly. "It's just a story..." But then she remembered the land without magic, how she and nearly everyone else there had been nothing but stories to the people of that world. How their lives and very history, had been nothing more than cautionary children's tales. 

"Oh...oh dear..." Belle managed to say, and then her eyes were rolling back in her head. The final shock had been too much, Belle no longer able to fight against it or her bloody injury. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

To Be continued....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wish I could have gotten the chapter to be a little longer but I always envisioned it ending with the moment Belle's passes out. I gave honest consideration to switching it to a Hook POV when she passed out, but I didn't want him to have the POV narration just yet. Chapter three will most likely still be a Belle POV. 
> 
> I both like and don't like this particular chapter. *frowns at it* 
> 
> \----Michelle


	3. Three

It came to her in flashes, moments where Belle had briefly been awake. She had struggled against the heavy spell of sleep, lids fluttering as the woman had opened her eyes. Catching sight of concerned faces, Belle unable to truly focus on any one in particular. The faces had crowded around her, so many Belle had been sure she was seeing double, maybe even triple. Bobbing and weaving, swaying in place so fast that she had had to shut her eyes close against the sight. And with their closing, time and consciousness had slipped away from her, Belle unaware of much of anything until she was let down from the embrace of a strong pair of arms, and the voices grew louder in their agitation. 

The next time Belle had opened her eyes, had been in time to see a wicked looking hook glinting with the lamp light of the room. She had immediately tried to sit up, but a strong arm just over her breasts had prevented her from rolling away. It hadn't stopped the pain in her shoulder from flaring, nor kept the hook from tearing into the front of her jacket. The great rip of sound was one Belle was sure she would never forget, every nerve in her screaming of danger, in time to her own shout. 

The wild shriek of fear had been too much, Belle had then fallen back limply on the bed. Her last sight that time, had been a pair of dark blue eyes, their curious light giving away to concern. She hadn't understood that concern, knowing they were more than just enemies for Belle represented something that this man hated and needed to destroy. But the why of that need was lost, Belle unable to remember, unable to try, when hands had been pulling at her clothing. 

Too weak to truly fight, Belle had still tried. Again she had been held down, the top of her dress being torn down to her waist. A surprised hiss had been heard, and seconds later Belle had realized the sound had come from her. Some cold liquid had been splashed on her shoulder, directly over the wound, and the liquid had made an already painful ordeal worse and that had been before the fingers and prongs began their prodding. 

Belle could remember weeping, her misery slickening her cheeks. A voice had growled over her, demanding that she hold still. An even angrier voice had snarled at the first, and Belle had opened her eyes in time for a bottle to be placed to her lips. She hadn't immediately tried to drink, turning her face to the side as the stink of rum assaulted her nose's senses. But then that voice had spoken, that smooth confidant accent whispering huskily in her ear, urging her to drink up, that the rum would help her endure what was to happen next. 

She had opened her mouth, a fearful question on her lips. But Belle hadn't been able to ask it, the rum pouring into her, a bitter strong taste that had burned all the way down her throat to her belly. They had kept on forcing the drink on her, and after a time Belle hadn't minded any longer the taste of it. 

Weak from blood loss, in shock, and well on the way to being drunk, was it any wonder that when Belle had fallen unconscious that last time, it had lasted for a good deal longer than a handful of minutes? How long she wouldn't have been able to say, her present mixing with dreams, making Belle unable to be sure what was real and what was imagined. Had those blue eyes really been that worried as they had gazed down at her? Had a gentle hand brushed the damp curls from her face, had his throaty whisper actually urged her to fight? Most of all, had it been his snarl Belle had heard, right after she had been shot? HAD she been shot, or was that too a dream? Was anything real, or was everything false, Belle locked in a dream that was as creative as it was tortured? 

As scary a thought as that was, there was also a feeling of hope that came with it. Maybe everything that had been happening was a dream. Maybe Belle hadn't fallen into the sea, maybe she hadn't been shot. Maybe that last day was nothing more than a figment of an overactive mind, Rumplestiltskin innocent of the things he had been accused of. A desperate hope began to bloom inside Belle, the woman wanting to laugh at herself for ever being so frightened, for ever having doubted Rumplestiltskin. 

And then that hope died, and with it went her mood, Belle having tried to turn over in her sleep. Though dulled in nature, the pain in her shoulder was still there, Belle cutting her bottom lip on her teeth as she tried to stifle the worst of her whimpers. Her eyes started to flutter open, Belle not wanting to look and see. But it was too late, she couldn't stop herself, Belle wide awake and aware that the bed she lay upon was too decadent and comfortable to be that of her own. Or that of the hospital, Belle feeling silk sheets beneath her, and a heavy coverlet of velvet over her. 

A multitude of pillows lay sprawled out behind her, every color imaginable in the expensive fabrics. Big enough for two and then some, the bed was situated in an off corner alcove of a much larger room. A cascade of beads formed a curtain that lay dangling a few feet from the bed, giving a sense of privacy that held the alcove separate from the room. Shafts of light snuck between the strands of beads, but she would have to step through the curtain to truly see the rest of the room. 

At the foot of the bed, over one post, lay a man's shirt, the fabric a color so dark Belle at first thought it black. Much later, Belle would discover it had threads of a dark purple that was only apparent in direct light. But it's true color didn't matter at the moment, Belle uneasy at the sight of it, and the lavish bed, knowing it was like nothing she had ever seen, not even back at Rumplestiltskin's castle when they had lived in the enchanted realm. 

A worried knot forming inside her, Belle tried to rationalize what was happening. Tried to put a story behind where she was. Surely Rumplestiltskin had moved to protect her, maybe hide her after Hook's latest attack. Surely Belle was among allies, that a friendly face would soon appear, maybe even that of Rumplestiltskin's. Her hopes of that neatly diminished when Belle began to sit up, the velvet cover inching down to leave her body bared. 

Her gasp was loud and pronounced, Belle snatching at the coverlet, her injured shoulder protesting such a quick and violent action. She didn't care, pulling the blanket up over her bared breasts, Belle barely noticing she had gauzy bandages packed in place around her injury. She was simply too upset, too dismayed by her naked state, to even wonder about her injury. Belle would actually sit there seething for several whole minutes, having decided some cosmic entity was having a good laugh at her and her predicament. Because Rumplestiltskin would never be so rude as to leave her in such a state, at the very least he would have insisted on a nightgown of some sorts. 

As angry as she was about her state of undress, if Belle was truly honest, her upset came from fear. The fear that it hadn't been a dream, that she had really fallen through the boundary into a sea, only to be fished out of the waters, and left to sleep in what she feared was a certain pirate's bed. And not even the fact that he had left her her panties could appease Belle, the woman gritting her teeth, and taking several deep breaths to keep from exploding. She couldn't calm completely, her fury simply too red hot for that. But as she sat there stewing, Belle became aware of sound, or rather the near absence of it, the footsteps muted and soft, as though everyone around her was trying their hardest not to disturb her. It might have proved amusing, to think of the noisy sailors from before acting as quiet as mice, but for Belle, it was panic of a different sort, the woman worrying that at any minute, someone would come barging in on her. 

She began looking about the alcove, trying to see if there was any sign of her clothing. And then a flash hit her, Belle remembering the hook tearing into her jacket, the man who wielded that deadly silver too impatient to try and figure out how to work open her clothing. Belle nearly groaned then, frantic as she looked about to see if anything of her clothing had survived. If something had, it wasn’t in reach. In fact there was little of anything to be had, besides the bedding and the pillows, and the shirt on the post. The post! Her wild gaze quickly sought it out, Belle nearly breathing a sigh of relief to see the shirt still hanging there. She'd immediately inched her way over to the foot of the bed, taking care to keep the coverlet pressed against her, until one second before she began pulling on the shirt. 

Her shoulder protested the actions needed, Belle having to dress slower than she liked. The shirt itself fell down just past her knees, and had a long row of buttons that she made sure to fasten each and every one. The sleeves went past the tips of her fingers, Belle having to roll the cuffs several times in the hopes they wouldn't unravel too often. Her fingers trembled more than she had liked, Belle not sure if it was her nerves or her injury that led to her unsteady hands. Certainly her stomach was rolling in upset as she shifted out of the bed, and walked the few feet to the curtain. Belle had to take a deep breath to shore up her nerves before she parted the sea of beads. They click clacked noisily together, but weren't loud enough to be heard outside this cabin. 

Larger on the inside than she had expected, Belle took in the sight of what had to be the captain's cabin. It was as decadent as the bed, an expensive oriental rug nailed to the floor, silk and satin draperies tied back with golden tassels to let the midday sun fill the expanse of the room. An assortment of chests were to be found, complete with their treasure, the stolen gold and jewels, and even a crown twinkling in the light. 

What Belle had first assumed was a painting was framed on the wall. She'd feel a mix of surprise and delight to find it was a map of the Enchanted Realms's lands, not quite accurate on it's velvet canvas. A closer examination would have the woman realize that this was a map of the land as it had existed some two hundred years prior to Belle's birth. 

"Curious and curious." She murmured, intrigued despite her upset. 

She continued her examination of the room, finding there were many leather bound books laying about. Many had bright red bookmarks wedged in between the pages, and quite a number of them had to do with magic and myths, legends and treasure. Less used were the books piled on a corner shelf, the titles such that Belle recognized the type of them if not the actual stories. The cheap copper penny costing books of adventure, romance, and tragedy, an entertainment first made popular by those of the nobility. 

As great a passion as books were for her, Belle managed to turn away from the shelf. There were other things to see, such as the large table with the chairs wedged against it. There were soft cushions on the chairs, also expensive as though the man who lived here prided himself on living as close to the lap of luxury as he could steal. Even the place settings, with it's fork and knives were made of real silver, Belle unable to wrap her head around such a lavish show. Her kingdom had been poor, one of these forks alone melted down, would have been enough wealth to feed a third of her people. 

Beneath the empty plates, was another map, this one made of a rough cloth. It was no professional hand that had made this one, and Belle wouldn't have known what, where she was looking at, if not for the writing scrawling out names of important markers. The Serena Sea, and the Never Sea, the dark forest, skull rock, and a smattering of islands all came together to make up the face of what was known as Neverland. 

She didn't want to believe. Not in Neverland, not in anything that had happened. Even as she stepped away from the table, took quick steps with her shaking legs, Belle was in denial. Even once she reached the window, and gazed out at what could have been the Never sea, or the Serena sea, Belle tried to tell herself she was still in Storybrooke. But the waters were endless, no land in sight for as far as her eye could see. 

"No." She said in a dry whisper, hearing nothing but the gentle waves lapping at the sides of the ship. Not even bird song could be heard, for even a sea gull wouldn't dare fly out this far from land. "No." Belle repeated, and started to sag in place. She suddenly felt too hot, her mouth too dry, the very air seeming to suffocate her. 

When next she opened her eyes, Belle found herself back in the decadent bed. The shirt she wore, had been opened, one sleeve slid off to reveal her shoulder. The bandages was gone, allowing Belle to see the messy stitching through a wound that had obviously been well tended and cleaned. As cared for as it had been, Belle knew without a doubt it would also leave a permanent scar. 

"There there love, It's nothing that will detract from a beauty like yours." The man's voice was accompanied by the rattle of the beads. Belle gasped, and immediately tried to sit up, and pull the shirt closed. 

"Easy does it, love..." The man was immediately by her side, grabbing hold of her shoulder in an attempt to ease her back down against the pillows. "The doctor's done his best, but if you thrash about, that wound will open up again and have you bleed all over a new set of my pillows." A slight smile accompanied those words, but the blue eyes were worried. 

Perhaps it was that worry that persuaded Belle. Or maybe it was the fact that the more she struggled, the more the shirt came undone, baring more and more of her body to him. Maybe it was that, and the fact she didn't want him, anyone, to be touching her for longer than was necessary, Belle allowing the man his way by laying back against the pillows. But she didn't relax, her skin prickling with unease as he used his hand to sweep back the hair that had fallen over her wound. And then he did the oddest thing, his other arm moving, to catch at the shirt with the sharp tip of something that gleamed silver. 

"Hook!" Belle squeaked out, finally remembering how to speak. The man and the hook he was named after, didn't pause, the shirt being tugged back into place to cover as much of Belle as was possible while still leaving her shoulder exposed. 

"Yes I know." He murmured to her, his blue eyes briefly meeting hers. "It's quite scary the first time one sees it, isn't it?" The hook freed of the shirt, rose, the man bringing the blunt curve of it to caress Belle's right cheek. "But I'd never use my hook against someone as pretty as you..not without you first begging me for it." 

That last confused her, Belle suspecting it was some sort of innuendo or joke being had at her expense. But she couldn't at all imagine how a hook could do anything but hurt someone, even if it was capable of as soft a caress as the one Belle had just received. 

Even worse, her confusion seemed to make him smile. A genuine curving of the lips, not that slight half smile that he had given her before. It was all quite strange to see, for there was a time when Belle had thought him incapable of anything but anger and a pain that not even the most malicious of smiles could truly hide. 

The pain was still there, but instead of that raw angry hatred, he just seemed sad. She'd have deemed him another man, if not for the dark haired good looks, and that unmistakable silver hook. She glanced at it again, then at him, watching his gaze go hooded in response. Belle shivered, but said nothing, not even when he brought a wet cloth to her wound. 

"You're not one for words, are you?" He asked, his actions with the cloth ever so gentle. 

She blinked owlishly for one moment in her surprise, nearly shrugged her shoulders despite her injury, before speaking. "It so happens I love words....speaking them, hearing them, reading them..." 

"You read?" His hand had paused, his look intrigued. 

"Doesn't everyone?" She asked that before remembering there was a time in the Enchanted Realm where only the men and the women of the nobility had been allowed to be educated. Even once it had been allowed for all people, many hadn't been able to afford the education needed to learn a skill such as reading. It hadn't mattered in Storybrooke, perhaps the kindest aspect of the curse gifting all there with the ability to read. But those who hadn't been cursed, who had existed even just a hundred years before? Most would have been lucky to know a few words, let alone be able to read a whole sentence. 

Thinking of the many books Belle had seen in the cabin, her opinion of the man tending to her wound, rose just a margin. Stronger yet was her curiosity, Belle wondering just who he had been before coming to Storybrooke, seeking revenge. 

But Belle wasn't the only one curious, the man giving one last gentle rub with the cloth. "I suspected you were from a more advanced time than the one I had left behind." He murmured, setting aside the damp cloth to fetch a length of gauzy bandages. "But I hadn't realized just how much time had passed, if it's expected that everyone can read." 

She said nothing, merely holding still as the bandages were wound and taped into place. He talked as he helped her arm back into the shirt's sleeve, and made no move to leave the bed. "I forget often how quickly time passes outside of Neverland." 

She furrowed her brow, trying to recall what she had heard of Neverland. It wasn't much, Belle not having nearly enough time for frivolous reading. Not with all the drama and excitement of Storybrooke, from getting the library ready to open, to helping her friend Ruby, to getting kidnapped and nearly having her personality wiped. With all that had been happening, it hadn't seemed like there was point to reading a story intended for children, about a land she hadn't even dreamt was real. 

Now Belle wished she had, as if that story might have prepared her for something, anything that might be thrown in her path. But could anything have prepared her for the pirate before her? Belle had a nagging doubt that nothing would have, and certainly nothing would have prepared her to wake up pretty much naked in his bed. 

"Where are my clothes?" 

"Such interesting garments." Was his reply. "But I am afraid in our haste to see to your injury, not much of your things survived my hook." Another smile, this one almost a smirk. "You were bleeding quite heavily, and the doctor feared it was too much for one girl's body to take." 

She frowned at him. "Not a girl." Belle said, watching his smirk grow more prominent. "I'm a woman." 

"And what a woman you are..." His husky murmur of appreciation made her even more uncomfortable, Belle fighting to not bring her hands to clutch at the shirt in an attempt to hide what had already been seen. 

"And who is we?" Even as she tried to change the subject, her tone sounded mildly anxious, which was still an accomplishment given how shot her nerves were. 

"Myself, the doctor, and Smee." At her look of horror, he let out a good natured laugh. "The doctor is a professional, and Smee is too old to do anything more than look. As for myself, I am a gentleman...." 

"A gentleman pirate?!" Belle interrupted, all her doubt and derision evident in her voice. 

"Well to a point." He admitted with a cheeky grin. "But I assure you, of all the beds aboard this ship, you'll find none safer to sleep in than mine." 

"I am not at all reassured." Belle glared at him. 

"Then you are a smarter lass than most!" He leaned towards her, Belle trying to be defiant even as she shrank back against the pillows. The rich, hearty scent of him surrounded her, coming not just from him, but from the pillows and the sheets. Heck even the shirt she wore, had his scent, a clean masculine smell that was heightened in her fright. As good a smell as she suspected his intentions were bad, Belle's eyes went wide as they stared first at him, then to his eyes, and then finally landed on his lips. Those lips were perilously close to hers, Belle expecting the kiss to come at any moment. 

She was so busy staring at his mouth, Belle didn't at all notice the way he studied her in turn. His brow might have furrowed, and his eyes certainly narrowed. He didn't kiss her, though he did whisper to her. Words that left her shaking, Belle barely managing to stifle a gasp. 

"Gentleman or no, a pirate be what I am at heart. And pirates are known for taking what they want. You best be remembering that, lass." 

On the heel of those frightening words, he backed off of her. Actually left the bed, and made his way to the curtain. The beads began to rattle, just before he turned to look at her once more. 

"I am Killian Jones, captain of the Jolly Roger Pirates. But you may call me Hook." He actually paused, waiting for something. Almost forgetting how to think, Belle startled in place to realize that was his way of asking for her name. 

"Belle." 

He didn't smile this time. If anything he looked bothered by what had happened, maybe by Belle herself. But he repeated her name and gave a slight bow to her before walking through the curtain of beads. They rattled noisily in his wake, but couldn't drown out the sound of a door opening, than closing. 

Wide eyed and pale skin, the most Belle could manage was to remain against the pillows, staring up at the wood paneled ceiling over the bed. Her heart seemed loudest of all, it's frightened beat not yet ready to calm. She wasn't at all sure what had just happened, if Hook had been warning her, or threatening her. But she now didn't know what was the more urgent matter, getting back to Storybrooke, or getting herself away from Hook! 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was on fire tonight! XD I've been writing since nine something. (It's a little after 1:30 am as I type this note.) I had difficulty at first to get my opening paragraphs, but once I started, whoo it flowed! I was amazed at my quick progress! *celebrates* 
> 
> Next chapter is most likely going to be a Hook POV but...and here's where I doubt. okay I like most everything in this chapter except for one area. And it's when he leans in like he is going to kiss her? Does that make sense, or does it seem like a stupid thing? That's the part I am feeling really doubtful for...I don't know if I should take it out or something. ARGH! 
> 
> \---Michelle


	4. Four

It was something short of a miracle, that in his agitation, the man known as Captain Hook hadn't slammed the door shut behind him. But he hadn't wanted to scare the lass, not any further than he already had. It wasn't her fault that Hook hadn't seen a woman in roughly two hundred years, let alone one that was as beautiful as she. With bright intelligent eyes that were a blue a few shades lighter than Hook's own, with a cute button of a nose, and a mouth whose lips promised a dozen sensual delights, Belle was a beauty many a man would be hard pressed not to want. Stronger yet was the desire of the man who had had that beauty sleeping near naked in his bed, Hook lusting just a little too much for his own liking. 

But that wasn't Belle's fault. Unconscious for most of the last three days, it hadn't been her choice to make, and if Hook was at all honest, there really had been no other option. He had seen how the other men had looked at her, how they had all stopped what they were doing to stare with an open astonishment, and a hunger to rival Hook's own. Their captain wasn't the only one that hadn't seen a woman in years, and it was for Belle's own protection that Hook had claimed her. 

That claiming hadn't been without it's immediate problems. There had been a protest, many of the men thinking Belle should be shared, the woman made to serve their every disgusting desire. More than one throat had been slit, the captain's hook busy making examples of those who would oppose him on this. Before the first night was through, four good men had been dead, killed by Hook as proof that he did more than just threaten. 

The loss of men was a blow to an already struggling crew. But Hook did what he had to, to maintain order and keep the crew fearful of him. Hook had to be ruthless, strong, and above all feared, the men had to be aware that they had no chance of overcoming him. A gentleman only to the ladies, Hook was as vicious a pirate as they came, and no one was better suited to lead what had proven to be the many kingdoms of the Enchanted Realm's worst nautical nightmare. 

But the time of their reign had passed, and Neverland was a far tougher nut to crack. True there was plenty of treasure to be found, but there wasn't much in the way of people. Just a monster and his boys, and a scraggly crew of pirates that had been cut down by more than half due to the unexpected dangers of Neverland. A merciless realm, Neverland amazed as much as surprised Hook, for the unexpected kept on happening, right up to the arrival of the woman in his bed. 

Curious about her, Hook hadn't had a chance to ascertain if her arrival would prove a blessing or a curse. He hadn't had a chance to learn much of anything aside from her name, and mentally Hook kicked himself for the wasted opportunity. But she had taken him by surprise, first by finally being awake for longer than a few seconds, and then by the excitement he had felt when dealing with her first hand. 

All too vividly Hook remembered the feel of her soft skin, the way she had squirmed against him in an effort to get away. Her shirt pulling open more and more, flashing tantalizing glimpses of her body. Teasing him with what he had already looked upon a hundred times at least, and still he hadn't been satisfied, for it wasn't often he had ANY woman in his bed. But then he hadn't wanted a woman, hadn't wanted any woman since his beloved. She was long dead now, but Hook still mourned her. Still felt the loss of her every single day. But for once he hadn't been thinking of Milah, hadn't been missing her quite as strongly, or thinking about his revenge. All because of the moment he had first laid eyes on Belle, and felt a jolt go through him. He had been startled, excited, and then very concerned. For the girl and for himself, Hook realizing he wasn't as dead to desire as he had prided himself on. 

That desire was really quite disturbing to a man who had sworn he would want no other. And in the first years after Milah's violent passing, Hook really hadn't longed for companionship of the female kind. He had simply been too sick with grief, too distraught and overcome with the madness of a broken heart. It had made him mean, vicious, and determined. A ruthless man on the quest for revenge. While many of his crew bemoaned the lack of women in Neverland, Hook had reveled in it, needing no distractions, wanting no chance of another worming her way into his heart or his bed. It simply hurt too much when they died, and Hook had sworn he would die before going through such heartbreak again. 

Having determined that Milah would be the one and only love of his life, Hook hadn't been at all prepared for Belle. She had literally dropped into his life, and one look was all it had took to get the blood pumping in a certain direction. His heart at least remained unaffected, Hook sure it was as broken as ever. But it was in conflict with his bodily desires, and if he had been any less of a gentleman, he would already be on her, doing a lot worse than just looking. 

It was going to take a lot of effort and restraint on Hook's part, to keep Belle from becoming his mistress in more than just name. The crew already expected him to sleep with her, actually went so far as to resent him for claiming her. Hook wouldn't be surprised if he'd have to make a few more examples amongst the men in order to keep control of his ship. The woman brought more problems with her, than just the havoc she'd play with Hook's heart. 

If he was truly as smart as he thought, Hook would have thrown her immediately overboard. Because she was trouble, just the type Pan himself would dish out. The twerp of a demon would revel in the idea of Hook's crew mutinying, of Hook's loss of power. Most of all the brat would love to see Hook squirm, torn apart on the inside by his own feelings and guilt. 

Not a friend to each other, Pan considered Hook worst than his enemy. He was an intruder, and interloper, a thief set out to rob Neverland not just of it's gold, but of it's very magic. Hook didn't care if the land itself was destroyed, not if it meant he could obtain the power needed to achieve his revenge. But neither Pan nor Neverland gave up it's secrets that easily, and Hook honestly feared another two hundred years passing before he accomplished much of anything. 

So much time already spent in Neverland, could Hook honestly afford a distraction now? But his conscience wouldn't let him throw Belle overboard. Wouldn't allow him to truly consider abandoning her in this place. For all he knew, she was some innocent Pan had stolen and thrust into his games. An unwitting pawn that would need protecting from more than just Hook and his pirates. Of course if she proved otherwise, conscience or no, Hook would in all haste rid himself of her. But he honestly hoped it wouldn't come to that, despite all the problems a woman aboard a pirate ship could actually cause. 

The problems hadn't been so apparent, back when Milah had been alive. A beautiful woman with her ink black hair, the crew had known not to touch her. It wasn't just Hook's threat that had kept her safe. Milah herself had been no vulnerable lily, having taken to the sword as though she had born to wield one. More than one sailor had found his gut skewered, and after the fifth such example, the Jolly Roger Pirates had learned to content themselves with the wenches and whores of the port towns they had sometimes visited. 

Neverland had no such towns, no such delights to offer a man. An inhospitable land, not even savages could have found much here to endear it to them. Frankly Hook couldn't understand what appeal the land would have to a demon and his band of boys. Running wild, dirty and looking half starved, the boys were little better than animals and had proven just as vicious. They fit right in with the nature of this place, as big a threat on land, as the mermaids were in the water. And all in thrall to Peter Pan's whims. 

Most would have left Neverland at the first chance. But then most wouldn't have been so desperate, so consumed by Hook's need for revenge. He wouldn't, couldn't leave. Not empty handed, and it didn't matter if he had all of Neverland's gold and jewels in his ship's hold. The things were meaningless baubles at best, and couldn't buy him one of the two things he wanted more than anything. Milah brought back to life, and Rumplestiltskin struck down dead. 

The first wasn't likely to happen, even with all the magic of Neverland drained. There were rules to magic, unbreakable laws, that not even the dark one himself could bend. The dead stayed dead, the unshakeable truth with which Hook had to live with every single day. But his revenge? His desire to see Rumplestiltskin dead? That just might be possible, provided he found the right tool. But he had all the time in the world to look, provided he stayed in Neverland. 

His pirates weren't happy with this, or with many of his decisions of late. It was too bad, for he was the captain, not them. And he wouldn't stop reminding them of the fact, and in the most violent of ways, maintaining order in a land where so little of it existed. 

A part of that order meant maintaining appearances, Hook allowing his face to give away nothing. For all the emotion that showed on his face, his crew couldn't be certain if the girl had yet to even awaken, or if their captain had just gotten done fucking her. He kept them guessing, not just about her, but about many things, the crew not even certain of just where in Neverland their next adventure was. His ship's course had been aimless, sticking to the Never sea, and as far out from the main land as one could get. It was a dangerous, reckless thing to do, the waters this far out rife with peril, especially from that of the mermaids. But it also afforded him a sense of privacy, the land so far removed that not even Pan would dare fly in for a visit. 

It gave Hook time to think, to stop and consider his next move. Belle had already plunged so much of his plans into upheaval, first with her sudden arrival, then with the honest to goodness concern he had for her care and well being. And of course there was the excitement she had inspired, that she still caused him and his crew to feel. And though, aside from Hook and the doctor and Smee, none of them had seen her since that first dark night of her arrival, Belle was still very much on all of their minds. 

Constant inquiries had been made about her, until an aggravated Hook had announced the next one to pester him with such questions would find themselves rendered into mermaid chow. That had stopped most of the questions, but not the curiosity, every one seeming to stop what they were doing, every single time the door to Hook's private cabin opened. A wave of disappointment would fill the air, the men hungry for Belle, for any little thing they could get, even just a glimpse. Because of this, Hook had already decided that Belle would spend as little time among his crew as possible for he was ruthless and not cruel. And flaunting a beautiful woman in their faces would be like waving a steak in front of starved and chained pack of dogs. 

But the resentment was already there, festering worse with each new day. Some of his crew wasn't at all shy about giving him dirty looks, to which the captain made a show of sharpening his already deadly hook. The blood had barely had time to dry, and already Hook had a feeling he would be spilling more of it on the deck of his ship. Smee would fuss and worry, pretending the staining of the planks was what was actually bothering him. But in truth, the oldest of the Jolly Roger pirates, would be fearing, frightened for the captain he was ever so loyal to. Not liked by many, even before he had made a show of strong support, Smee knew he wouldn't live long should something befall Captain Hook. 

Was Smee loyal to a fault, or merely doing what he had to, in order to survive under Hook's command? Did it even matter so long as he did what was asked of him? A bundle of worry and anxiety, Smee was always on edge, the only true time he was ever at ease was when relaying his captain's orders. Then Smee shined, perhaps enjoying a little too much the fact he could boss these men around under the guise of the captain's authority. 

Tolerant of the man who hadn't started out a pirate, Hook favored Smee with a nod. The older man with his red knit cap, immediately made his way over to the captain, falling into step besides Hook as the pirate made his way to the Jolly Roger's wheel. It was barely turning, the waters turning tranquil shortly after Belle had been rescued from it. 

The captain gripped hold of the wheel, both his hand and his hook being used. He wasn't yet ready to set a course for anywhere in particular, but the act of steering the ship had always been a calming activity for him. Smee knew enough to keep quiet, not pestering Hook about the woman or a possible course for the pirates. But his beady eyes were a light with questions left unvoiced, Smee also just as curious as any other man aboard Hook's ship. 

"She's awake." Hook said after letting the silence drag out for several more minutes. 

"Blessed be!" Smee exclaimed, his face breaking out into a jovial grin. "She's slept for so long I was starting to think she wasn't ever going to wake up." Hook said nothing, his expression appearing uncaring, as if the man hadn't been invested in any way towards the woman's recovery. His lack of reaction unsettled Smee, even after all this time, the man drawing his cap off of his head. The knit wool began to be crushed by thick fingers, Smee unable to hold his hands still during his moment of agitation. 

"But then, she was under the doctor's care." Smee continued, in a high pitched tone. "He wouldn't have let her die. Not without trying everything possible first." 

It was true what Smee was saying, the ship's doctor would have tried everything he could to save his charge. And not just because of the oath he had sworn, but because the doctor was well aware of what form the captain's displeasure would have manifested as, should the woman have died. 

"Well!" Continued Smee, always one to try and fill in the gaps left by his captain's silence. "She must have a lot of questions. I certainly do! Like what is she doing in Neverland, and why had the shadow dropped her in the sea? I must say, it was a might lucky you saw her fall. And even luckier that we were close enough to get to her before the mermaids did. Has she thanked you yet?" 

"It hasn't had a chance to come up yet." Hook answered, but Smee was right about it being lucky. If Hook hadn't been star gazing with a telescope, if she had been dropped any further from the ship, well then Belle would have died. And even as Smee marveled at the luck of it, Hook couldn't help but be suspicious of such coincidences. The timing was just too perfect to be mere chance, someone, Pan maybe, had wanted Hook to see and rescue Belle. 

"Hasn't come up?!" Smee made the slightest of scoffing sounds. "But then....what did you two talk about?" 

"Not about much." muttered Hook, and Smee's face started to redden in embarrassment. 

"Captain!" It almost sounded like an admonishment, Smee's anxiously trying for stern. "You didn't?" Hook glanced directly at him, one dark eyebrow arched in questioning way. Smee stammered and crushed the knit wool cap even more, assuming the worst from that one look. "She nearly died!" The older man exclaimed. "If not from the sea, than from whatever that was that did that to her shoulder! She's lost a hell of a lot of blood and..." 

"You really think the worst of me, don't you, Smee?!" Hook snapped irritably. He had to fight not to give the wheel a vicious jerk that would have sent the whole ship careening in a spiral. 

"No....no..." Smee began a protest. "I just...it's BECAUSE I hold you in such high esteem, because you have proven yourself to be more of a man then the men who make up your crew..." He was stammering again, trying to figure out how to get out of further insulting his captain. "Of course you wouldn't." He finally finished on a lame note. "You're not an animal." 

"No, just a pirate." Hook muttered, his fingers clenching on the polished wood of the wheel. Smee stared at him, torn between confusion and worry. Not only did Hook not feel like explaining, he felt like he couldn't. Not unless he wanted to confide in Smee that he too wanted the woman, that he had both frightened AND nearly kissed her. 

"Captain?" 

"Go wake that lush of a doctor." Hook grumbled out his order. "It's time he stop nursing that bottle, and see to his patient." 

"Yes, Captain!" The red cap was placed back on his head, Smee all ready to scurry off. 

"And get some tea brewing. I suspect after three days, she'll be wanting something more substantial than the doctor's tonic." 

"Will do, Captain!" Smee grinned, happy in a way that only he could be, about doing Hook's orders. Hook gave the slightest shake of his head after Smee was gone, but the older man didn't occupy the pirate captain's thoughts for very long. And nothing would, provided it didn't have to do with the mystery woman that lay recovering in his bed. The woman a puzzle that begged to be solved, Hook wouldn't rest until he knew exactly who Belle really was.

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gave me difficulties...probably cause I sat here doubting the whole way just about. When rereading it back, it read fine, but some reason every paragraph I struggled with. I worked on this on and off all day, and now have a headache. Haven't decided whose POV I will do for next chapter, maybe a mix of both voices. I'm kinda worried ya'll will not like this chapter, but it was necessary to set up the situations, the back story of the pirates and Neverland. 
> 
> \---Michelle


	5. Five

Doctor Connor was a tall, reed thin man whose red cheeked face was all sharp angles and gaunt. His eyes appeared set too deep in his skull, giving him a sharp eyed look of some beady eyed bird. It was surely his propensity for drinking at all hours of his waking life that accounted for the sickly look of him, the doctor slowly but surely drinking himself to an early grave. Or what would be an early grave, if not for the magic of Neverland. 

None of the pirates, not even the doctor or captain Hook himself, understood the magic of Neverland's eternity. Time stopped for all creatures, and sickness stayed the worst of it's hand. Only the most direct and brutal of attacks could break hold of the enchantment that seemed to permeate the very air of this realm. The violence of being ripped apart, a throat slit, a heart stabbed. Anything that involved a lot of blood loss, and repeated stabbings, the deep puncturing of flesh. Neverland, never an idyllic paradise on it's best days, was full to bursting with the kind of creatures capable of doling out the brutality needed. 

Among them, included was the pirates, Captain Hook's crew just as vicious, just as deadly as anything else in Neverland. They HAD to be, if they were wanting to stand a chance of surviving. And as their captain, Hook had to be the worst of them all. To keep both his life and control of his crew, Hook had had to become ruthless. A hard, merciless, and unforgiving man, Hook had found it easy to make himself over once his beloved had died. 

Her death was his reason for everything, the drive and determination behind Hook thriving in Neverland. Making him a man capable of standing sword to sword with anything, anyone, including Peter Pan. It was no wonder the brat hated him, Pan unused to being challenged by anything, anyone in the realm of Neverland. That alone would have been enough to make Hook Pan's enemy, but the fact that the pirates were looting without restraint? Stealing not only gold, but ready to take magic, all magic, even the source that fueled Neverland itself? It made Hook person non grata in Pan's mind, the demonic imp always searching for ways to not only foil the pirates, but rid the realm of their captain. 

Conscious of Pan's intentions, Hook couldn't help but be wary where the woman was concerned because of it. For innocent or not, she was a trouble that Hook did not need, a trouble he had been unprepared for. In many ways Hook was still unsettled, that hard exterior he had cultivated proving susceptible to a pretty face. One look at her, and it had reminded Hook of just how weak a man he really was, unwanted desires and urges alighting to life inside him. 

A lust long thought buried, it alone would have been trouble enough. But add to it the want to protect, the urge to perhaps comfort? Better it would be if all Hook had felt when looking at the woman was sexual longings, rather than a stirring of such feelings that they belonged to a weaker, kinder man then the one he had prided himself on becoming. 

But that ruthless, driven man was proving no match to Hook's new feelings. To the concern and curiosity, the urge to protect, the fierce want, and the harsh relief experienced when the woman had opened her eyes for longer than a few seconds. It spoke of how invested he had already become where the woman was concerned, how Hook would have felt something, be it sadness or remorse, or even anger, if she had died while in his care. He might not have known her enough to mourn should she have passed, but already Hook felt enough of a connection to be glad she had survived. 

This connection, those feelings were exactly why Hook should run. Before Belle brought them closer together, before Hook forgot the pain that came with such involvement. Most of all, he should run before he softened so far as to forget the ruthless, driven man who had thrived in Neverland, and who had thwarted Peter Pan time and time again. 

But it was easy to think, less easy to actually follow through. By his own hand, Hook had tied them together, Belle relatively safe so long as the crew believed she was their captain's possession. To ignore her now, or worse yet set her loose among his crew would court trouble, Hook unable to stomach the idea of what his sex starved pirates would do to a woman if given the chance. But it was no less palpable what effect Belle could have on Hook, the man ready to fight tooth and nail to remain as he was. A relatively unfeeling man, who thrived on adversity, whose revenge drove him to succeed. 

Feeling as though he was now navigating through murky unfamiliar waters, the sharp rocks of emotions that with which he must avoid at all costs, Hook nodded a greeting to Doctor Connor. Looking as terrible as ever, the sun was a harsh spotlight upon the doctor's pale skin, making the red spots on his cheeks and the tip of his nose stand out in stark contrast. There was bags under his eyes, shadows that came from one too many restless nights. Connor looked like hell warmed over, and was worst to see because the doctor was stone cold sober for once. 

It wasn't by the doctors' choice, this new state of existing. His captain had been ever so insistent that the doctor be sober when dealing with a patient whose life had hung in the balance. Connor might not want to live any more, but he was well aware that if displeased, Hook would have found a way to make his existence even more miserable than the doctor currently found it to be. The unknown of Hook's vengeance, was infinitely worst than the idea of just dying, to a man so intent on drinking himself dead. And suicidal though he may be, Connor didn't have much taste for violence. Especially when it came to his own self. 

It left drink the most passive aggressive way to try to die. And most days Hook didn't care if the doctor succeeded. Barely tolerable on a good day, Connor was downright insufferable on his bad. And most days WERE bad as far as the doctor was concerned. Forced to treat a bunch of in his own words, dirty, no good, stinking pirates, Connor had never forgiven Hook and his crew for having been kidnapped and pressed into their service. Nor had Connor ever come to grips with the fact that a mere week later, they had all ended up in Neverland, a realm so far removed from that of their own that the doctor had had no hope of rescue. 

Connor's grudge had only worsened with that realization, and he had harbored his hate for well over two hundred years. The fact that he had had to try to be sober these past three days, could only exacerbate the doctor's issues with Hook. He was barely civil, actually glowering back with all the bluster he could gather. 

"Well, awake is she?!" Doctor Connor demanded, in a voice that carried louder than Hook liked. He knew the doctor did it on purpose, projecting news that Hook hadn't been ready to share with his crew. The pirates of the Jolly Roger pretended to be busy, making a show of not looking their captain's way, but Hook knew better. Every ear above deck was straining, ready to pick up the merest whisper of news. 

"For longer than a few seconds at least." Hook grudgingly admitted. He reached for the doctor, and it was no mistake that it was his hook that touched the man, and not his hand. Connor immediately recoiled, Hook nonchalant as he speared the man's sleeve. "It seems those brews you've been forcing down her throat did some good after all." 

"As they should have!" Connor snapped, falling into reluctant step besides Hook. "If it's one thing I am good at, it is mixing medicines." 

Certainly Connor was better at making medicines, then he was at performing unexpected surgeries. The butcher job he had done on Belle's shoulder was proof of that, though Hook supposed he shouldn't be too harsh about that. None had been more surprised than the doctor to find a cylindrical piece of silver embedded deep in the woman's shoulder. And none had understood how it had gotten there in the first place, and even less how to get it out without causing distress and a whole lot more blood loss to Belle. 

Hook still remembered the way she had screamed, the way it and her sobbing had tugged at something deep inside him. Connor hadn't been gentle, none of them had felt there was time to waste on figuring out the best way to proceed. And still Hook had all but erupted into violence when the doctor had snarled at the girl for not holding still for his hatchet job. Smee by some luck, had known just what to do, bringing forward a large bottle of rum. The woman had then downed more than half the bottle at Hook's urging, and the painful, messy process that had followed, had proceeded more or less smoothly. 

After there had been little time to relax. Hook, the doctor, even Smee at one point, maintaining a bedside vigil by the woman. Constant vigilance had been required for the caring of her shoulder, but it had never once discolored with infection. A small miracle that, thanks to the medicines, ointments, and cleaning the wound had constantly received. But there had been no guarantees, the three well aware of just how much blood she had lost. Not just aware, perhaps they had all been bracing themselves for the worst, actually expecting it to be the only outcome. And when she had defied their expectations, had actually pulled together to wake and get out of that bed? Was it any wonder Hook had felt such an immense sense of relief? 

But even that relief was too much, an investment of feeling Hook hadn't been aware of making. He of course tried to justify such a feeling. Telling himself that the past days had been rough, the woman needing constant care and vigilance. It was only right he be rewarded with positive results after all the effort taken to nurse Belle back to health. He was lying to himself, Hook pretending just the act of caring for a beautiful woman hadn't in some way made him feel closer to her. 

Shaking free of such thoughts, Hook cast a sharp barb in reply to the doctor's boast. "That might be the ONLY thing you are good at." He heard the doctor's angry huff, but it wasn't as though Connor had much with which to argue. He had been half assing his job as ship doctor for years, most of his skill wasted in a land as magical as Neverland. And yet Hook couldn't regret not killing him. Not if it meant Connor could save even one life more. 

Not sure if it was the doctor, a miracle, or just plain luck that had played a part in the woman's recovery, Hook all but threw Connor into the private cabin. The doctor made a fuss, his outraged sounds making the corner of Hook's mouth turn up. The pirate fought the smile, and shut the door behind him, closing off the cabin to the hungry eyes that lingered on deck. His crew was finding too many reasons of late to hover, the men waiting in eager anticipation of even a glimpse of the woman inside their captain's bedroom. 

Hook was just as eager, though he tried to tell himself it was merely because he had questions for the woman. He needed to know who she was, if she could be trusted, and most of all if she was an agent of Pan's. Talking would hopefully help Hook to get a sense of just how truthful she was capable of being, but more than that he was curious. Not just about her, but about the thing that had been dug out of her shoulder, Hook very much wanting to know what kind of weapon was capable of such brutality. 

Such questions could wait, but not for much longer. And not just because Hook's curiosity was eating at him, but because ironically, time was of the essence. If the woman were not the truthful sort, the longer she had before questions, the more time it gave her to come up with false answers. But the best time for questions had already passed, and Hook was kicking himself for rushing out of the room so quickly after Belle had regained consciousness. But there was no changing past mistakes, and Hook had needed that time away as much as Belle had. 

Thinking himself calm and clear minded, Hook allowed the doctor to step through to the alcove curtained away from the rest of the room. He followed a second later, just in time to see Belle giving Connor a wide eyed, wary look. 

"Who are you?" 

Not enough of her color had been restored, the brown haired woman jerking upright from her perch upon the bed's many pillows. But unlike the doctor, Belle wasn't a pasty white fright. Which was only to be expected, because only a drunk like the doctor would shun the sun in favor of some dark and dank room. 

"This..." The pirate said, clapping both his hand and his hook on each of the doctor's shoulders. "Is the ship's doctor." 

Connor had flinched, both from the hearty slap and his fear of the captain's hook. But he kept his mouth quiet, as Belle gave him a doubtful look over. Hook could only guess at what unpretty thoughts she was thinking, Connor hardly a sight to endear himself to a lady. Even the rest of Hook's own crew, looked better than the miserable way Connor had taken to presenting himself. 

It wasn't that Connor had been born ugly. If not for the years of endless excess, the man might have been passable in looks. Not quite good looking, but not ugly either, and Hook knew a little effort and confidence went a long way to making one's face better than it actually was. But of course, one had to want to try to impress, and Connor most certainly did not. And certainly not to Hook and his pirates! 

"Then it is you I should thank?" 

Hook waited for the doctor to bristle in response to the hesitant way Belle had phrased her question. Connor was many things, least of all modest, and the man would have demanded his due where gratitude was concerned. But instead of the harsh condescension Hook had been expecting, the doctor seemed to stammer. The tips of his ears turned a red to match his cheeks and his nose, and then Connor actually attempted a smile at Belle. 

Hook was near speechless with shock. Never in the two hundred years that he had known Connor, had the doctor found reason to smile. Not even when at his drunkest. But it appeared even the doctor was not immune to a beautiful woman once she was awake and alert. 

"Yes. It was thanks to me...." The pressing of the sharp tip of the captain's hook into the doctor's shoulder, had Connor do a hasty correction. "And the efforts of the captain, that you were saved." 

"It was a team effort." Hook added with a smile that was more forced than he had wanted. But he hadn't liked the idea of the doctor claiming sole credit for Belle's recovery. It was completely irrational and he told himself it wasn't at all jealousy at work, when Hook had acted to prevent Belle from bestowing all her gratitude on Connor alone. 

"Even Smee took a turn at keeping a bedside vigil." continued Hook, who felt far too ridiculously pleased when Belle turned her wary gaze to him. She really had the most extraordinary pair of eyes, a blue more lovely than any he had ever seen. 

They stared at each other a good long moment, before Belle let her head nod. "You have my thanks, captain. You both do." 

Hook returned her nod. "Think nothing of it. I am always one to help a woman in distress." 

Connor then made a noise, a none too subtle scoff. Belle's eyes flicked in his direction, and the doctor broke free of Hook's hold. "I'll be needing to look you over." The doctor announced, hefting the small black satchel that carried all the tools of his trade. "To gauge how well your recovering." 

Belle's gaze turned back to Hook's. Doctor Connor frowned, and turned to glance at Hook too. The amused captain merely gave a get on with it gesture, to which the woman clutched at her shirt as though it was a shield. 

"Don't worry my lady." Connor spoke in a surprisingly soothing tone. "I won't be too intrusive." He opened the bag, but Belle's eyes remained on Hook, the pretty blue color taking on a defiant gleam. 

"I think you should leave." 

Hook was thinking her way of thought was correct. He should leave, but it was the last thing he wanted to do. And it didn't completely have to do with ogling her any further. He still had his questions, and Hook didn't trust Connor as far as he could throw him. It didn't have all to do with sexual advances, Hook wary that a spiteful Connor would prepare Belle for any questions the pirate might have for her. 

"I'm sure I should." Hook said out loud. "But your request is simply out of the question." 

Her eyes narrowed with her upset, Belle giving him the fiercest glare she could manage. "And why is that? Aren't I perfectly safe with your doctor? Isn't he a professional like you claimed?" 

"My lady, I am likely the only one aboard this ship not out to molest you." Connor had opened his bag, and was laying out things on the bed. "And no disrespect meant..." Which of course meant the opposite was true. "But I'm thinking that includes you, captain." 

Hook didn't try to deny it, because a certain part of him was very much geared towards the idea of it. In fact was eager for it, and chaffed at the idea of Hook behaving. 

"My intentions are not yours to guess at, Doctor." Hook retorted with ice coating his words. "Regardless, whatever they may in fact be, the hard truth of the matter is my bed is the safest place for her in Neverland." 

The doctor had been in the midst of putting on his stethoscope, when he turned to glare at Hook. The pirate met his glare, and gave a knowing smirk. Connor glared and grumbled, but ultimately conceded, for the doctor knew his own bed and that of the ship's infirmary couldn't come close to making the same claim. 

"Safe from the wolves, but not from the shark." Connor muttered, slipping a monocle over his right eye. He peered through it at Belle, a wooden tongue depressor lifted to her mouth. She didn't even try to reply, shifting her gaze so that she was focused on the doctor. For now Hook was fine with that, his eyes staying on her. Drinking in her beauty, but also studying it. Studying her. He didn't try to hide how he watched her, and save for the repeated clench of her fingers on the blanket over her, Belle betrayed nothing else of her agitation. 

She never once relaxed, not even at the doctor's urgings. Hook supposed he couldn't fault her for that, and not just because of the way he watched her. He had in effect both threatened and warned her in the same breath, and Hook was not just a pirate, but captain of a whole crew of them. Neither Hook nor the doctor had been very subtle about the nature of the danger Belle faced, and not even a woman who worked for Peter Pan, would be that eager, that foolish to place herself in reach of a whole crew of pirates. 

She would need protecting, and that was something Peter Pan couldn't provide her. Hook could, but it was the nature of the situation that had the pirate doubting. Because what if this was exactly what Pan had been counting on, for Hook to take custody of the woman and guard her. The bloody fact of the matter was Hook WOULD guard her, especially if she proved to be an innocent in all this. But even a woman innocent of Pan's manipulations and schemes was trouble, and things would only further complicate the longer she remained in Neverland. 

Thinking of all the ways his crew would try to mutiny, Hook finally allowed himself a chance to weigh the enormity of the problem Belle presented. Not just the how and why of her arrival in Neverland, but the how of how exactly Belle was going to get back to wherever she had come from. None of these things had easy or even apparent answers, but one thing Hook was certain of was that Belle couldn't remain here indefinitely. Not if he wanted to make sure his crew didn't eventually tear each other apart over her. 

It was a very real fear. Hook could be looking at a woman who might prove to be Pan's ultimate weapon against him. Sobering thought that, but Hook couldn't harden his heart entirely against her. Even if it meant he was playing directly into Pan's hands with every act of kindness towards her. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sighs* This chapter gave me all kinds of trouble, and I might come back to tinker with it later. I'm not satisfied with the way it ends, and I kinda feel like I gave up rather than try to keep on going with a chapter that did not want to end. 
> 
> Okay, to review...I wrote 10 kb, realized it sucked, trashed all but the first two opening paragraphs. Then I wrote a new 10 kb in a different way, cause some of what Hook had thought in the trashed version, I thought might be better to have put elsewhere in the story, maybe sprinkle those thoughts in with a dialogue exchange between him and Belle. 
> 
> Then I stumbled again, once I got the doctor, Hook and Belle in the same room. I had to trash my attempt there, and try to approach the doctor's attitude in a different way that worked better for me. But then the chapter turned into one that did not want to end...in that I couldn't seem to find a good way to wrap things up. I feel extremely frustrated at the moment. 
> 
> I've been staring at this chapter for four or five days of aggravation, so now I think I am going to try and take a breathe and relax for a night. Or at least for a few hours, before I dare think of writing anything else. *feels mentally exhausted* 
> 
> \------Michelle


	6. Six

The examination wasn't that bad as far as those things went. Consisting of such things as the checking of her pulse, and the color of her tongue. And then performed was the listening to her heart and lungs, and the shining of a light in her eyes. These were all very basic things, and could hardly be considered intrusive, the doctor doing it all with a stern, professional air. Belle appreciated his manner and the way he treated to her, the man a gentleman even when it came time to examine her shoulder. His eyes solely for the healing wound on her shoulder, the doctor hadn't raised any objections when Belle had only opened the shirt enough to slip the sleeve down to bare one shoulder. 

It was still embarrassing as all hell, for he was a doctor but also a stranger to her. She knew nothing of him, of his skill or his reputation. He could have been anything in addition to doctor, a pervert, a quack, or even God forbid, someone completely new to his profession. But he had proven capable enough if going by the fact that Belle was not only alive, but alert now to her surroundings and to the situation she found herself in. 

Of course, it was a situation that Belle didn't fully understand. She could remember being shot, and the pain that had followed. The echo of Rumplestiltskin screaming her name, and the quieter snarl of another man's voice were also tied into her memories. But somewhere between her slow fall down, and the plunge she took into ice cold waters, things had gotten confused. Belle didn't understand what had happened, or why, but her long association with Rumplestiltskin had taught her how to recognize magic at work. 

It didn't lessen her confusion about what had happened. Nor did it offer her any comfort, because magic was costly and unpredictable. Magic tended to do more damage than good, and more often than not warped the desires of the ones who used it. It was a corruptive force, quick to seduce and destroy those weak enough to use it. People might start out with good intentions, but magic was a quick route to getting whatever you wanted. Be it riches, power, or revenge. 

With that though in her mind, it was hard for Belle to not glance at the pirate. She'd never consider him good intentioned, and he seemed an easily seduced type. Especially by the promise of something that he craved, a revenge that he had longed for, for more years than Belle could even imagine. But the thing that confused her, the thing Belle still had trouble understanding, was why was she even still alive? 

It just didn't make any sense, Hook having great reason to want her dead. Why go to all this trouble to endanger her, then rescue her, even nurse Belle back to health? What was his game, his true intentions, and how did Belle fit into them? She didn't want to truly consider it, but with the way Hook was watching her, Belle had a feeling magic wasn't the only thing out to do some seducing on this trip. 

Which was crazy. And so was the man himself. He had to be, to have threatened her on more than one occasion, and then to actually shoot her. He wanted to hurt, even kill Rumplestiltskin, and Hook had jeopardized Belle's safety more times than she could count. Belle would have to be crazy too, to even think of letting him anywhere near her, but then she didn't seem to have much of a choice so long as she was a prisoner on his ship. And that is what Belle considered herself to be, regardless of Hook's real intentions. 

Convinced they were of a dastardly slant, Belle didn't realize the extent of the severity of her situation. She barely had come to grips that she might, MIGHT, be in Neverland, but it hadn't even occurred to her to ask what time period she was currently residing in. Time travel was the furthest thing from her mind, Belle thinking at worst Hook had somehow spirited her away from Rumplestiltskin in an overly grand plan for revenge that was destined to fail. 

Not having the slightest clue of how far off the mark she truly was, Belle was determined to survive as best she could, until help came or she could rescue herself. The last thing Belle intended to do, was to lounge around weakly in Hook's bed. Even if that was exactly what the doctor thought she should do! 

Fighting back a frown, Belle kept her face and her voice from betraying her agitation. "Are you sure, doctor?" She asked, and couldn't stop the clench of her fingers, the blanket over her lap being crushed in the process. 

"You've survived the worst of it, it's true." The doctor said in a grave tone of voice. "But you're far from one hundred percent recovered. I'd give it two, maybe three more days of bed rest before I'd feel comfortable with you walking about." 

He noticed the way her fingers were mauling the blanket, the doctor's expression softening. "You lost a lot of blood, my lady. Even with my brews at work, your body needs this time to recover." He glanced back at her shoulder, at the stitching over the wound he had just finished inspecting. "Someone wanted to hurt you, maybe even kill you. Don't give them their wish." 

She fought not to look past the doctor to the pirate. He hadn't stopped staring at her even one time, and what Belle saw when she did look, was neither guilt nor remorse. It was as though Hook had no feeling about what he had done, or about how close he had come to killing her. Was he truly remorseless, or was he just that good an actor? Did it even matter, or did it help Belle to bolster her anger, help prepare her to deal with a man who would see her dead or worse? 

"I won't." Belle managed to say in the silence that followed the doctor's words. It was a heart felt and harsh utterance, Belle meaning every word she had said. She wouldn't give Hook the satisfaction, no matter what his ultimate scheme for revenge was. 

The doctor nodded, stern satisfaction in his eyes. He didn't object when Belle pulled her sleeve back in place, his eyes almost approving as Belle quickly closed up the buttons of her borrowed shirt. The pirate's eyes were different, devouring each bit of flesh Belle took back with the shirt's covering. Such a hungry, intent gaze made Belle feel as though she was wearing nothing at all, her fingers again clenching on the velvety feel of the blanket's fabric. 

The doctor noticed the angry play of her fingers, but then how could he not? Belle couldn't reign in her upset to stop such an agitated motion, that angry clenching handing Hook one small victory after another. For it let him know just how much he was getting to her, how the staring and this whole situation bothered her. Her fingers ruined the bluff of her calm expression, letting anyone who looked at her know of the private turmoil rolling through her. 

The doctor started to say something, then glanced nervously at Hook. He then gave an uneasy half smile, his own fingers fumbling with the tools of his trade. Putting the equipment back piece by piece in his black satchel. Slow and methodical his actions were, Belle realizing his intent was to now leave. She couldn't say the same for the pirate at all, his hot gaze focused, his eyes holding a gleam of some kind of predatory anticipation that Belle was sure she wasn't imagining. 

"If you need anything....." The doctor didn't quite bow. "Anything at all. Do not hesitate to ask for me." 

"I..." 

"Connor, a word?" Hook hadn't taken his eyes off of Belle, not even to address the doctor. The doctor, Connor, stiffened but ultimately followed the pirate out of the private alcove. The beads rattled in their wake, a hushed conversation taking place as far away as it was possible to get from the alcove and still remain inside the cabin. Belle strained her ears to catch what was being said, but the whispers were simply too soft for her to pick up. 

Being unable to hear what was being said wasn't doing anything for her worry. In fact it only helped to make Belle paranoid, the woman sure they were discussing her and the fate Hook intended to have befall her. She was determined to foil Hook at every turn, Belle twisting about in place, to search the area around the bed. There didn't appear to be anything that she could use to clobber a foul intentioned pirate, not even a book and there was nothing that resembled a weapon within reach. 

Belle was starting to think she'd have to resort to smothering him with one of the many pillows that lay in abundance around her, when she heard Hook let out a hearty male laugh. Her eyes widened just slightly, before Belle took control of her expression. She heard him say something that was still soft enough to be muffled, and then the sound of a door opening and closing followed. 

The slow measured pace of his booted steps? To Belle it read as if Hook felt he had all the time in the world to do as he wanted to her. Terrified and feeling how truly vulnerable she was in this moment, Belle also felt pure rage. She didn't like feeling helpless, she didn't like being involved in a feud between Hook and Rumplestiltskin, and she especially didn't like being made the victim of a blood vendetta time and time again. She was tired of being a pawn, be it Hook's or the Evil Queen's. Belle wasn't thinking too straight in the moment, maybe hadn't been since getting shot. She was letting her fears and her anger get the best of her, which might be the only explanation for why she hurled a pillow right at an approaching Hook's face! 

The resounding thump as it connected was satisfying, but only for a minute. Because there was only so many pillows, and Hook could only be taken by surprise once by such a projectile. Her hands immediately flew to mouth, muffling her dismayed gasp. Hook stared at her, and thank heavens it wasn't a full out glare. He wasn't shocked, but neither was he amused, Hook just staring at her as though Belle had grown a second head. 

"I..." But she wasn't sorry exactly, though Belle might be wishing she hadn't gone so far. Because she felt as though she had thrown down the gauntlet, and it was a challenge Belle was sure Hook would take up. "I..I wasn't..." 

"Now this is a first." He said over her stammering attempts to speak. "Attacked with my own pillows from my very own bed. And after I went to so much trouble to make sure you would be comfortable there." 

First she just sat there blinking, not sure if relief was yet ready to be embraced. And then his words seem to register, Belle stiffening in response. "Comfortable?! As if I could after YOU put me here in the first place!" 

And so began a series of misunderstandings, Hook nodding his head in agreement. "Aye I put you there lass. And I would do it again in a heartbeat." 

"You...you monster!" Belle spat out, for Hook's agreement sounded very much like he was proudly admitting that he had been the one to shoot her. 

"I'm many things. But a monster?" He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Not quite yet." 

"Then what would you call yourself?" She demanded, her agitated fingers busy on the blanket. Crushing the velvet so bad, Belle didn't think it would ever get unwrinkled. 

"Just a man who is driven." Hook answered. "I'm ruthless and unforgiving, but more than that I am a man with many questions." 

"Questions?" She couldn't imagine how many he could possible have, Belle thinking his only questions would have to do with how to kill or get revenge on Rumplestiltskin. And neither thing was something Belle was inclined to help Hook do, regardless of the issues she had with whatever had truly happened to Rumplestiltskin's wife. "I will tell you nothing." 

"Nothing?" He quirked an eyebrow, his expression turning amused. "That's a challenge I won't have much luck with resisting." 

"You can't make me talk!" 

Her defiant outrage only made him chuckle, the pirate resuming his approach. He wasn't even hesitant, as he came to sit on the edge of the bed, his blue eyes focused and determined. "That's where you're wrong, for I am sure the doctor will have no trouble mixing up a brew that would loosen even your tongue." 

Her mouth parted on a silent gasp, Belle staring at him appalled. So now he was willing to drug her to get what he wanted? Did his revenge know no bound? 

Apparently not, for Hook was quite calm and nonchalant. Casually brushing his fingers near to hers on the bed. Belle trembled but kept herself still, rather than give Hook the satisfaction of recoiling at his nearness. But right now it felt like the only victory she could deny him, Belle knowing no matter what, she couldn't allow him to drug her. 

Her course set, her decision showed in her eyes. Hook nodded, his approving smile seeming to mock her. "So glad you've realized the futility of fighting me on this." The anger in her glare only made the light dance in Hook's eyes, the pirate shifting to get more comfortable on the bed. He went so far as to relax against the pillows, but Belle didn't buy for one second his easy going manner. 

"Was it Pan who did that to you?" His first question was as confusing as it was unexpected, Belle frowning. Actually wondering if he meant to somehow trick her by not asking right away about Rumplestiltskin. 

"Pan?" She repeated, her expression a mirror of her confusion. "Do you mean Peter Pan?" At his nod, her eyes narrowed. "Don't be absurd. A child didn't do this to me." 

"He's more than a child, and twice as dangerous as most men I've ever known." Hook retorted. "I wouldn't put it past him at all to attack you..." 

"It wasn't him." Belle interrupted. "Never mind that I have no quarrel with a child, with any child, there's only one man I can think of who would purposefully try to hurt me." She paused for a shaky breath, then looked him straight in the eyes. "You." 

He had the gall to look surprised. "Me?" Hook asked it with such confusion that Belle began to feel a return of the fury that had taken hold of her earlier. "Love, you are mistaken." 

Belle shook her head hard, her brown hair bouncing from the movement. "I am not." 

"In this, you are." Hook insisted firmly. He had sat up, reaching a hand out to her. A hand Belle shrank back from, a response that had Hook's eyes widening one second, then narrowing the next. "I would never hurt a woman. I would never even seek to..." 

She stared at him, not saying a word. But her eyes said plenty, the accusation and upset centered in them, screaming the truth out at him. 

Hook stared at her for a small eternity, before giving the slightest of growls. "Well played, Pan." He said to Belle's confusion, then got up off the bed. He was a motion of agitation, pacing over to the curtain of beads, then abruptly changing his mind just as it seemed he would leave her alone in the alcove. 

"Of course, I always knew that brat was capable of just about anything." Hook said out loud. "But to go so far as to slander my reputation, and in this way?" He sneered and scoffed, but still hadn't actually looked back to Belle. "What next Pan? What next will you do when that too fails?" 

"What are you talking about?" Belle demanded, incensed that she wasn't truly understanding him. 

"Simply that it wasn't I who shot you, dear lady." He had stopped his pacing, his blue gaze focused once again on her. 

"I know what I...." 

"Yes, I'm sure it looked and sounded like me." Hook interrupted her. "But Pan is a master at deceiving." 

Which is more then could be said about the pirate, Belle both wanting to laugh and fume over Hook's bad attempts to fool her with his badly thought out lies. "You think me a fool." She said out loud, and Hook immediately returned to the bed. 

"Never that, my lady." Hook tried to be reassuring. "But Pan and his lies, his casual way of manipulating all around him, can get the best of us all." His eyes searched her face, and then Hook nodded. "But I can see you're not ready to believe. No, I don't fault you for that. Trust is not something you should give away easily, and that's doubly true for a man you believed could have hurt you." 

She was frowning again. "What's your game, pirate? Why go to all this trouble, and attempt such a bad manipulation? You have to know I won't fall for your lies, and won't give you what you think you need." It was reckless to be baiting him like this, but at least Belle hadn't finished up her speech with clams that he was best served if she was dead. 

He wasn't deterred by what she did say, Hook nodding once more. "Of course it can't be that easy. I'll have to work if I want to earn your trust." 

She parted her lips, ready to snarl that that would never happen, when Hook touched her lips to stop her angry retort from being voiced. "But lass? You'll also have to be earning mine!" 

"Yours" A jerk back from him and then she was scoffing. "It's not my character that should be called into question!" 

"I'm not maligning you or your character." Hook was calm in his retort. "But I'd be a fool to just take you at face value, especially when it seems Pan went to a great deal of trouble to not only bring you here, but set you against me." 

"Your Peter Pan has nothing to do with this!" Belle insisted. "I know what-who tried to kill me! I'm just lucky you were such a bad shot, or I would really be dead!" She fixed him with her most suspicious look. "Or was this too a part of your diabolical plan?" 

"You anger and outrage is directed towards the wrong person." Hook told her. "Love..." Again his hand reached for her, Belle smacking it away before the touch on her cheek could happen. 

"Don't try to touch me!" Belle hissed. 

His hand closed into a fist for one second, before Hook gave the barest of nods. "All right, I can understand why you might not be wanting me to touch you. Especially given your...misconceptions on what you think happened." 

"Think nothing, I KNOW!" 

"But I give you my word of honor, as a gentleman, it was not I who tried to kill you." The look Hook then gave her was such that Belle kept from laughing, even though her first impulse was to mock him and his so called gentleman's honor. 

"Nor..." he continued after a poignant pause. "Will I allow any one of my crew to get away with harming you." 

"Is this more of your gentleman's honor?" Belle wondered out loud. Hook nodded in reply, and Belle then blew out a long breathy sigh. "It won't work, you know." She began to confide to him. "I'm on to you, and I won't ever trust you. I'm not that foolish." 

"I'm willing to wager a tidy sum that you'll be eating those words soon enough." Hook said with a chuckle. "Neverland is a harsh and unforgiving place, especially to those who don't have friends to help them navigate it's treacherous perils." 

A chill went through her to hear that, but Belle chose not to acknowledge it out loud. "Neverland?" She asked instead. "Then we really are in Neverland?" 

"Yes, but to be more precise, we currently sail the briny deep known as the Never Sea. It'll be days before there's any chance of land, and that's if the weather be holding up as nice as it has been." 

Belle had to hold on to her anger, to the warmth it's fire gave her. Otherwise she would sag in place, her disappointment and fear overwhelming her. Just the idea of being Hook's prisoner was upsetting, but to hear that she had been taken from Storybrooke? That she was with him in a realm so far removed from any that Belle had ever known, that most people hadn't even realized truly existed? It was something short of devastating. 

So devastating in fact, Belle didn't quite hear Hook's next comment. She was distracted and staring without truly seeing, Hook's voice coming from a distance. She would have frowned if she could understand, would have wondered why Hook was making conversation about things he had already surely known. 

"That accent of yours marks you as having spent time in one of the Northern forest kingdoms." He was saying. "But I admit, there's a particular twang to your accent that leaves me baffled as to which kingdom exactly you come from." 

Hook's expression didn't so much as flicker with emotion at Belle's silence. If her lack of response truly bothered him, he had decided not to show it. "Of course I suspect that with all the time that has passed, there's been ample opportunity for new towns and settlements to crop up." 

"I'd love a chance to update my maps." Hook continued, then laughed. "I fear the two hundred years that have since passed have rendered them all but useless." He idly stroked the blanket, careful to keep his fingers just out of reach of hers. "Of course time is such a tricky thing here in Neverland. I often forget just how much of it has truly passed. It'd be what..., the late seventeen hundreds by now?" 

The time was off, even if one accounted for the twenty eight years the Evil Queen's curse had taken from them. By Belle's own reckoning, they should be in the Enchanted Realm's Renaissance period on the cusp of the tail end of the eighteen hundreds. 

"What year would you say?" Belle asked, and whipped her head around to stare at Hook. She wasn't yet leaping to conclusions, wasn't yet thinking in any way of time travel, or the fact she might have somehow ended up in Neverland's past. 

"Hmm?" His hand stroked closer to hers. "I haven't been the best at keeping precise track, but it would be around seventeen hundred ninety something." He reacted to the panicked look she gave him, Belle suddenly taking a gasping, gulping breath of air. 

"No." She said, then yelled it when he tried to take hold of her hand. "No!" 

"Belle, love?" He was concerned, taking her into his arms, even as she fought and thrashed about. 

"You're lying to me!" Belle was saying, her eyes welling up with tears. "You have to be!" She suddenly collapsed with a raw cry of pain, Belle fighting not to break down completely. He hauled her against his chest, actually petted fingers over her hair. His attempts at comforting her were all the worst, Belle this much closer to sobbing. Because things were making themselves known, details she had been content to ignore, that she still wanted to dismiss. Because it was better to pretend than even contemplate the full truth of what had happened, and yet Belle was recalling how different Hook looked from the last time she had seen him. Then Hook had been bruised, and bloody, with cuts and abrasions on his face, and even a black eye. The Hook that held her now, had none of it, not even the bruising about his eye, and Belle was certain enough time hadn't gone by for him to heal so completely. 

But she was in no way ready to accept, no way ready to believe. Even as another detail worried it's way into her awareness, Belle wondering if this Hook was without guilt and remorse over what had happened to her, because he wasn't the same Hook that had shot her in Storybrooke. It would explain his behavior, the concern he had shown over her. He worried for her, because he didn't know who she was, what connection she had to his enemy, and thus had no reason to hate her or want her dead. 

This Hook wasn't her enemy. Not yet. But if he were to find out the truth? Of who she was, what she meant to his enemy, and where she came from? Belle shivered in his embrace, positive this Hook would be as quick to kill as the Hook of the future had been intent on. She made a silent vow then and there, Belle swearing to herself that Hook would never learn the full truth of her origins from her. She didn't yet comprehend how difficult an oath it would be to keep, hadn't yet plumbed the depths of the pirate's curiosity about her. Nor had Belle yet to think things through, to consider the opportunity this situation offered her. Because Hook wasn't the only with questions, and Belle had a curiosity to match his where Rumplestiltskin's dead wife was concerned. 

But for now she was far from ready to seize at the chance to find out the full sordid history behind the feud. She was too exhausted from her shock, her emotions playing havoc with her ability to think. Belle merely sat there, feeling awkward in the embrace of Hook's arms, too tired to even be grateful that he had stopped all attempts at questions and conversation. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

To Be Continued!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one got written faster, hurrah! But halfway through I started doubting and worrying I contradicted something in three. Mainly it was the part where they exchange names, but I decided Belle was still a bit disoriented and upset so hadn't registered how strange it might be that he was asking for her name. 
> 
> Overall I like this chapter, and much much more than five! I'm still worried a little about the angle I was exploring, (The whole Belle didn't realize she was in the past.) but overall I am satisfied. 
> 
> I feel like I had more to say, but my mind is kinda drawing a blank right now. ^^;; 
> 
> Oh! I remembered in the middle of spell checking. The time periods I made up, since I have no idea if they ever actually said what year it could have been in the Enchanted Forest Realm. 
> 
>  
> 
> \---Michelle


	7. Seven

Belle's hair was soft like silk under his rough and calloused hand, Hook's fingers combing a soothing path through the brown waves of it. The woman trembled against him, then made a sound that might have been a muffled complaint. She wasn't accepting easily the comfort Hook tried to give her, Belle holding herself stiff but not still in his embrace. Shifting constantly as though testing the strength of his arms, Belle clearly ready to pull back at the first sign of weakness in them. Hook knew he should take the hint and let her do just that, but he was enjoying the act of holding her too much. 

It was a novelty he thought would never wear thin. Not even if Hook were to embrace her ten more times, or a hundred. His arms, nay his very body, luxuriated in the feel of her, and her squirming attempts to get free were only adding to the experience. Her hair rubbed against his chin, and the breasts he had admired more times than Hook cared to admit to, brushed constantly against his chest. He could feel her every breath, her breasts heaving with every inhale and exhale. 

Belle's breasts alone were nearly Hook's undoing, but when he considered the fact that all the woman really wore was a shirt borrowed from him, and the flimsiest scrap of fabric to ever be called a pair of panties? It was all Hook could do to keep from groaning out loud, Belle a far greater temptation awake and half dressed, then when she had been near naked and unconscious in his bed. 

The temptation then had been but a dull throb to what he felt now. Something fierce and hungry, and not easily tamed. It made his blood wild, hot, Hook unable to be satisfied with just the holding of her. His arms banded like steel around her, keeping Belle pressed against a body that was starved for such contact. Her squirming response only sent a repressed shudder through him, Hook barely able to remember the reason that had been cause for his arms going around her in the first place. 

This lusty haze that clouded his mind wasn't good. It distracted him from what Hook had set out to do, brought him closer to forgetting he was a gentleman first when it came to the ladies. But most of all, it reminded Hook that his crew weren't the only pirates to have gone too long without a woman. It reminded him of a need Hook hadn't been aware of having, his lust and sexual desires long thought dormant. Now here in this room, in this bed, they were reborn, with a sharp intensity Hook had been unprepared for. 

Caught off guard by them, by Belle, was it any wonder he reacted to her? To her closeness, and the voluptuous feel of her well crafted form? Squirming about, with the sweet scent of her hair in his nose, her lush form an invitation that would need a stronger man than Hook to resist. For the first time in what felt like forever, the fit of his pants grew uncomfortable, the snug leather now unbearable and Hook was a bad, bad man to be getting so aroused when the woman was so clearly upset and bothered by him and the situation she had found herself in. 

It was an upset she had a right to, what with her abduction and near fatal plunge into the sea, and the attack on her shoulder that had almost been the death of her. Pan had risked her life more times than Hook cared to count, the pirate well aware of how much could have gone wrong if his ship had been a little less slow, his crew a little less able, his doctor any more incompetent. 

It was a miracle Belle had survived. That she had kept on surviving no matter what. Pan couldn't have picked a better pawn for his games, or fixed a better scheme towards turning Belle against Hook before they had ever even met. She didn't trust him, might not even like him, and most of all it was clear that Belle feared Hook. It would take work to change all three, but right now Hook wasn't close to making strides of any kind. Especially with him holding her, the embrace having gone past what was acceptable, lasting longer than it should have, and proving anything but comforting. 

To her or to him, Hook's feelings torn, somewhere between wanting her and pushing her away. Both were strong, as was the fear that nipped at their heels, Hook ever so afraid of the wanting, and the hurt that could follow. He didn't want to care, didn't want to feel, and Hook risked exactly that by getting involved with Belle in any way. 

Well aware of how much more it would hurt if feelings of any kind were involved, Hook tensed in place, willing ice to flow through him, and cool the fire that raged and threatened to consume him whole. It wasn't easy to calm down, and letting go of Belle had hardly satisfied the arousal her squirming had caused. When she fell back away from him, Hook longed to follow, to cover her with his body, to pin her in place with his weight. He wanted to do more than just lay on top of her, the pirate wanted to take, and to ravish, and to be consumed. 

Instead he controlled himself, though just barely. Staring at her with an expression that wasn't calm, and wasn't controlled, his breath rasping out of him a little too fast, a little too excited. It didn't help her fear of him, Belle staring at him wide eyed and frantic. Hook was torn as to whether her fear was a good thing or bad, wanting her close but knowing she should run for the sake of them both. 

But her fear was keeping her rooted to the spot, Belle laying where she had fallen, propped up only by her arms. She had to know the struggle that was going through him, even if Belle was currently incapable of understanding just why Hook would hesitate for even a moment. And he did hesitate, the memories not letting him forget old pain and fears, or the fact that Pan had placed Belle in jeopardy several times already just to get Hook's attention. 

That thought was finally the ice water needed, Hook remembering Milah and how much it had hurt when she had died. He couldn't, wouldn't get involved with another, especially a woman whose life Pan toyed with so casually. It would be nothing to that monster to kill Belle off once her purpose in Neverland was served, and Hook couldn't play into Pan's hands. Not with developing feelings for the woman, and not with letting his crew tear themselves apart fighting over Belle. 

It was a hard path to travel, and already Hook had stumbled. But who could blame him when Belle was lovely, lush, and ripe for the taking? Who wouldn't have reacted to a beauty such as hers? Who wouldn't kill to hold for just one second a soft squirming bundle of such curvaceous delights? Hook was no less a man for the wanting of her, though it was a desire he had to master and contain. It would be a problem otherwise, and could cost him so much, his sanity most of all. 

Because of a woman, his sanity, his very self had nearly been destroyed. He wasn't willing to let it happen again, wasn't content to even risk the chance of losing it or another person. And Hook certainly wasn't going to let this desire and attraction become anything more. It would be too devastating otherwise, too risky a gamble for even a pirate to take. He would stay the course of his revenge, and Pan could run himself ragged with his schemes, manipulations, and over all interference. 

As for Belle, she was not Hook's enemy. But neither could she be his friend. For even friendship was too much to ask for, the lines between it and lovers too easily crossed. He had to hold Belle at a distance, had to fight this startling strong attraction, all in order to protect his own heart. 

It wasn't a feat that would in any way be easy, his heart still so fragile. The scars across it were still healing, but there had been a time when the damage was so raw, so new that Hook wouldn't have reacted to Belle at all. He just wouldn't have cared, one way or another. Back then it wouldn't have mattered, a woman's beauty or vulnerability, such feminine wiles wasted on the pirate. But now things had proven different, Hook realizing enough time had gone by to heal the outermost layer of his wounds. 

Hook was far from fixed though. He still burned for revenge, still mourned for his lost love. And Hook hurt enough to be cautious in the face of his newly rekindled desires. He thought to master them, to keep in control, and Hook actually lied to himself that it would be easy now that the shock of their return had passed. 

For now he was ready to believe in the lie, forgetting the strength of desire, the lure of lust. In some ways the pirate had much to learn, lessons both new and old, enough time passing that Hook underestimated the power of attraction. It wasn't a switch one could flip on and off at will, and it's rules were different for each and every one. What one might find irresistible, another might be bored by, and just because one person felt it's pull, it didn't mean the other would reciprocate. 

Not as magical as true love, attraction could still be the foundation of something more, or the curse of the unrequited. Obsession had been born because of misguided attraction, and some had done vile, evil things in the name of it. Attraction was practically an entity in it's own right, able to devastate as well as enrich. What chance did a still healing pirate stand against it, or the woman placed in his path? 

None, if Hook was honest. But he kept on lying to himself, convinced it would all work out the way the pirate intended, the way Hook willed it to be. Master of the seas, and of this ship, why wouldn't his desires be just as easily conquered? But fate sought to not only tempt him but actively taunted Hook, Belle letting a nervous flick of her tongue touch on her bottom lip. All his hard sought control fled, Hook letting out a soft groan that brought the alarm ratcheting up higher within the woman. 

His eyes on her lips, Hook brought his hand to scrub across his face. It was an agitated move, and did nothing to alleviate the tension that he felt. He knew there were things he should be doing, questions he should be asking, and instead here Hook was, all but flailing before Belle like a boy with his first crush. 

Annoyed with himself, with the situation, with HER, Hook let out a deep breath before offering Belle his hand. She maintained her frightened stare, and made not one move towards his hand. His impatience showed, Hook all but grabbing at Belle's arm to ease her up into a sitting position. He wasn't as gentle as he should have been, the woman wince's freezing him on the spot. It wasn't until after he moved to open her shirt, that Hook remembered Belle's injury belonged to the shoulder of her other arm. 

Wretch that he was, Hook couldn't bring himself to say he was sorry. For anything that had happened in this bed, as disturbing as that was, Hook leaping at the chance for any excuse to touch and hold Belle. He still couldn't stop himself entirely, brushing his fingertips over the exposed column of her throat before abruptly refastening the buttons in place. 

"All better now." Hook said gruffly, without any explanation as to what he had been trying to do. But then there wasn't much he could say, and Hook was sure Belle wouldn't have appreciated knowing just how badly he wanted her, or how far he was willing to go for just a touch of her smooth skin. It would possibly get him smacked, and would definitely result in furthering the woman's upset. 

Ignoring the trouble and unease in her eyes, or at least trying to, Hook eased away from her. Perhaps not as far as he should, but then would anywhere on this ship be far enough away for them both? It was a question to ponder some other time, Hook needing to focus, and not allow his thoughts to be swept away on a tangent. 

"So..." He began slowly, trying to remember what they had been discussing before Belle had had her unexpected and emotional breakdown. Something about the year, something so small and inconsequential that it had been shocking the way Belle had reacted. Hook couldn't imagine why she would get so upset, and about that in particular, but he wasn't eager for a repeat performance even if it meant her hysteria would give him a reason to hold her once more. 

"The Northern Forest Kingdom was it?" He watched Belle blink owlishly in surprise, as though what he had said was the last thing she had been expecting. "It's been years since I've visited what had once been King Olaf's territories but then..." Hook forced out a chuckle. "It's been years since I've set sail beyond Neverland's seas." 

He wasn't truly expecting a response, at least not this soon. Hook was merely trying to break the silence, and dispel some of the awkward tension between them. But Belle surprised him by speaking up, her voice slightly hesitant as though she too was struggling to remember. 

"You....you said it was what....two hundred years?" 

"At the very least!" Hook said with an affirmative nod. "I've done my best to stay abreast of the years, but Neverland's time is such, that it is easy to lose track of it." 

"Is it really that easy?" 

"Quite so." Was Hook's answer. "Clocks stop their tick, and calendars are all but useless here. If it wasn't for the rise and fall of the sun, even the days would have lost their meaning." 

"But surely time passes." Belle was quick to argue. 

"In the world outside of Neverland." Hook retorted. "But here? In the land of eternal spring? It doesn't exist." 

"How is that even possible?" Belle asked. "Time is the one thing all creatures must answer to." 

"I can think of a few exceptions." Hook muttered in a dark tone, thinking then of Rumplestiltskin and what that coward had become. The Dark One, a creature that was said to be immortal, whose very veins ran with a magic most ancient and evil. 

He didn't notice the way Belle shivered in response, the woman shaking her head no. "It's unnatural and would take a great deal of evil magic." 

"Is it the magic that is evil, or is it the intent of the one who uses it that makes it so?" Hook challenged out loud. 

Belle frowned. "Magic is a corruptive force." 

"But some have used it for good." 

"Such stories of that are far and few in between." Belle argued. "How many heroes do you know, that have used it in any way other than sparingly?" 

"I'll concede the point to you on that, my lady." Hook said in all seriousness. "Though I had hoped such things had changed during my time away for too often was magic in our land cast by an evil hand." 

His tone almost causal, Hook began listing several noteworthy names, all witches and sorcerers known for their cruel and terrible deeds. "Ursula, Morticai, Gandori, and the Blood Baron. Each one more evil than the last." 

"Their deeds pale in comparison to the ones who came after." Belle muttered, but she didn't offer up any names. 

"I'm sorry to hear it." Hook said it so honestly, Belle's eyes lit up with surprise. "It's a frightening thought to think there could be an evil so vile to usurp the Blood Baron from his throne." 

"He..he liked to kill children." 

"Bathed in their blood, and used the remains for the most evil of his spells." added Hook. "He was still in power deep in the mountain kingdoms when I left the land, and I can only imagine how his legacy would have grown since." 

"He didn't hold on to his power for long." Belle said, and her lips twitched. "A great man, one who would right the wrongs committed against children, put an end to the Blood Baron and his reign of terror." 

"A noble deed, and one I am glad to hear of." replied Hook. "Tell me, who was this man? And what power did he use against the Blood Baron?" 

Hook saw how she hesitated, though he couldn't at all claim to understand why. What problem could Belle possibly have with answering such questions? Why did they bring such a troubled look to her eyes, and why did Hook get the feeling she was about to lie? 

"The details escape me at the moment." Hook fixed her with a look of disbelief, the woman shrugging in response. "From all accounts the hero was a modest man, one who didn't seek fame, praise, or accolades. He did what he had to, in order to save the children." 

"I suppose the name doesn't matter." Hook conceded. "Though I would love to know what sort of magical talisman or weapon he brought to bear against the Blood Baron." 

"That is something few people truly know of." It wasn't a lie, not exactly, but Hook also sensed Belle was covering for how much she truly knew. 

"And you?" Hook challenged, his intent gaze on her, missing nothing of her reaction. "Do you know?" 

"Me?" Belle asked, and gave a forced little laugh. "Why would I know? I'm just a woman." She added, as if Hook needed a reminder of that fact. 

"Not just a woman." Hook retorted, then smiled at her quizzical look. "Pan chose you after all." 

"Pan?" She lifted a slim brow at that. "I've never even met him." 

"You may not have been formally introduced, but make no mistake, you've met. You wouldn't be here if you hadn't." 

"Here?" Belle questioned, giving a pointed look to the bed. 

"Neverland." clarified Hook. "No one ends up in Neverland without a reason. Pan wanted you here. Not only that, he went to a lot of trouble to put you in my path, nearly killed you to do it." He nodded when she noticeably shivered. "Aye, you have a right to be frightened. He only looks like a boy, but inside? He's evil to the core." 

"And what about you?" 

"Me?" Hook laughed. "I'm pirate, love, but I am not without morals. Gray though they be, it's still a far cry short of the evil demons like Pan and the Blood Baron are capable of." 

"Shooting an innocent woman in cold blood is plenty enough evil for me." Belle said primly. 

"Pan may intend to do a lot worse than shoot you." 

"That doesn't matter, because it wasn't he who shot me!" She retorted, her eyes blazing with an anger directed towards him. 

"I know what you think happened. But it wasn't me. Pan changes face when it suits him, and for some reason he wants you to think of me as your enemy. But I'm not." 

"It.." 

"It's not that easy to trust, I know." Hook interrupted her. "But my desire here is to help you rather than hurt you." 

"Help me how?" She was still suspicious, but that was to be expected. 

"Get you back to where you belong, for one thing." Hook answered. "Of course it's not as easy as sailing my ship out of these inhospitable waters. I can't leave Neverland, I won't. Not without getting what I need." 

"And what is that?" Belle asked. 

"A magic strong enough to kill a very specific type of monster." Hook answered, watching the way Belle's fingers abruptly clenched together to form a white knuckled fist. "It's nothing you need to worry about, but I can't help but wonder if you could help me with that goal." 

"Me? Help you?" She actually scoffed. "Don't be absurd." 

"Stranger things have happened, especially here in Neverland." Hook answered with a grim smile. "You may be holding the answer, and not even know it." He reached into his coat's right pocket, his eyes on Belle the entire time. He saw her tense at his movement, but Hook couldn't hazard a guess as to the reason why. 

"That's..." She abruptly stopped, staring at the thing that sat on the open palm of his hand. 

"This is what did that to your shoulder." Hook said, watching Belle rather than look at the cylindrical shaped piece of silver his hand now held. 

"It's deadly, but hardly magic." Belle answered. 

"Not magic?" Hook was in doubt of that. "Then what is it?" 

"It's...It's a bullet." She answered in a matter of fact tone. "You put it in a gun, aim it something, and shoot." 

"And a gun would be what exactly?" 

"It's a weapon. Something specifically engineered to fire bullets out at the force needed to pierce flesh." explained Belle. "It's only as harmful as the intent of the person who uses it." 

"Sounds like magic to me." Hook announced, and Belle shook her head no. 

"It's not. For one thing, even a fool can use a gun. But unlike a sword or say a bow, you don't need a lot of training to use one." Her expression became a glower then. "Certainly the fool who shot me didn't know enough to be proficient at it's use, or otherwise I'd already be dead." 

"Careful love." Hook cautioned. "I'll not tolerate you calling me that, regardless of the circumstances." 

Belle's tone of voice became syrupy sweet. "I thought you insisted you weren't the one to shoot me? Or are you ready to drop that pretense?" 

"There's no pretense needed, because it wasn't I who did that to you. But I also am well aware of what you think happened, and by whose hand you think this...this bullet came from." 

"Hmph." Belle blew out a huffy breath. "Whatever the case, a bullet is not going to stop most monsters. Especially the ones with magic." 

"Shame." Hook muttered, before putting the odd piece of silver back in his pocket. "Looks like we'll be stuck with each other for a while yet." She didn't try to hide her confusion, Hook smirking. "With this bit of magic..." 

"It's NOT magic!" 

"Whatever." Hook retorted. "With it ruled out as a viable means to put an end to my monster, it also rules out any chance of us returning to the Enchanted Realm." Belle actually fidgeted in place, her upset and disappointment easily read on her face. "There there, lass." He said, and only just kept from reaching out to touch her. "It won't be so bad, with ole Captain Hook here to protect you." 

"That's all well and good, captain." Her tone was bitter, her glare fierce. "But who exactly is going to protect me from YOU?!" 

It was a good question, and not just because she believed Hook had been the one to shoot her. His little stunt on his bed, where Hook had all but molested her, rather than offer true comfort to Belle? It had done nothing to endear him to her, might have even reminded Belle of how alone and vulnerable she truly was on his ship. 

It was facts he didn't know how to reassure her against, and he all but leapt off the bed, when the familiar knock sounded on the cabin's door. Smee's arrival couldn't have been more timely, the old pirate inadvertently saving Hook from having to answer Belle's barbed accusation. But it couldn't save him from thinking about it, and worrying, Hook wondering how they were both going to protect their hearts against one another. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had fun with this chapter, even if I am doubting I made a mistake writing this. XD I just hate that I worry and doubt so much. 
> 
> Oh yeah, a minor change to six. I mistakenly put down Belle saying it would be the end of the middle of the 1800's....rather it would be near the end of the 1800's, as I am imagining she went back about one hundred years in time. I've since corrected that typo, and uploaded an updated version of the chapter. But it's the only change there, and minor like I said. 
> 
> \----Michelle


	8. Eight

The knock on the door, while sudden and unexpected, couldn't have come at a better time. Especially for the pirate, who all but fell off the bed in his haste to respond. Belle watched him go, the curtain of beads rattling noisily in protest at the speed in which they had been disturbed. The strands would continue to bump into each other long after Hook had passed, their noisy click clack competing with the beat of Belle's furious heart. 

Her heart was an echo of what she was feeling, the inner turmoil and upset that had fear lacing ribbons around Belle. She was angry yes, but also hurt and bewildered, with a healthy dose of shock running through her. The shock she couldn't really afford to wallow in, her wits needing to be sharp to deal with the pirate and any questions he might still ask. It was questions that needed answers that would be satisfactory to them both, questions Belle wasn't sure how to answer for herself let alone for Hook but she knew the full truth wasn't an option. And not just because Belle didn't understand how this trip through time had come to happen, but because of her connection to Rumplestiltskin, the pirate's most hated sworn enemy. 

It was truly frightening to Belle to even consider what Hook might do to her should the full truth come out. He had already tried to kill her once, or at least the Hook of the future had. Belle didn't want to have the added trouble of the Hook of this time period also turning murderous towards her. Of course the alternative didn't seem much more appealing, Belle actually shivering as she thought over the way the pirate had been acting towards her since she had awakened onboard his ship. Overly solicitous and staring, quick to touch and even quicker to react, Hook showed all the signs of wanting her. 

That wanting was as big a problem as his potential to turn murderous towards her, Belle not at all liking the way Hook had stared at her. With a look of a starved man that had found something to finally satisfy all his hungers, Belle some creamy treat that Hook wanted to devour. It was unsettling, upsetting to realize, and even worse to experience the way Hook watched her every move. It made a knot of unease ball up in her chest, Belle unable to breath right so long as she was under his keen scrutiny. 

It was why she too had felt real relief when the knock at the door had come, Hook having scrambled away in much the way Belle had desired too. But there was no peace in his going, Belle remaining unsettled. Remembering her barbed inquiry, and the fact that Hook had not been able to give her an answer, and the fact that just a few minutes earlier, he had had his arms around her and had been excited by the act. 

More than excited, if judging by the signs of his body. The moan, the rasping breath, and worse yet, the fact that she had brushed against what had clearly been the hard proof of his arousal. Already aware of her vulnerable position here on his ship, Belle had been downright terrified to think there was nothing to stop him from taking things further then a hug. There still wasn't, Hook having all time and opportunity in the world to do what came naturally to a pirate. And he had in effect warned her, pointing out that pirates take what they want. A fact she had already known, pirates infamous in the kingdoms for their looting, pillaging, and raping ways. 

With that firmly in mind, it hadn't been just anger or a need to be defiant that had Belle back talking at Hook. It had been fear, Belle truly wanting to know what--who would protect her from Hook. Be it from his lust, or his revenge, neither one seeming better than the other. She could turn him easily from lust with the truth, but then that same truth would then most likely see Belle dead. And she refused to die for Hook's revenge, and for Rumplestiltskin's mistakes. 

Her will to live strong, Belle hoped that she could survive Hook and Neverland long enough to get back to her own time and place. She didn't know what was happening in Storybrooke, if Rumplestiltskin even had a clue as to what had truly happened to Belle. But she had to hang on to the hope that he would find a way to bring her back, maybe with some bit of magic she didn't yet know about. He was the Dark One after all, and if anyone could do the impossible, it was he. His magic unlike anything, anyone else's, in the entirety of the Enchanted Realm's kingdoms. 

That magic had been well hungered after, people time and time again desperate enough to seek Rumplestiltskin out. Some tried to take what he had, but most weren't that stupid. Instead of resorting to stealing, they tried to bargain with him, an act Rumplestiltskin had delighted in. Currying favors, calling in debts, Rumplestiltskin as the Dark One fulfilled dreams then turned most into nightmares as he lined the pieces and players into place. It was only fairly recently that Belle had learned the truth of Rumplestiltskin's deal making and manipulations, his quest for his son justifying much in the Dark One's eyes. 

Knowing the truth hadn't made it easier for Belle to accept a lot of the things Rumplestiltskin had done, that he still sometimes did. But she understood, now knew he was motivated by the love of a father for his lost son. She hung onto that love, to the belief of it, even when it hurt her in turn. Painful though it was, that love also made sense of things that had once seemed irrational, even insane. Belle fervently hoped that love would help her to once again make sense of something, a horrific thing that was by all accounts an unspeakable crime. Belle's heart would break if there wasn't some way to explain, to justify the death--the murder of Rumplestiltskin's own wife. 

Belle shivered every time she so much as thought about the idea of Rumplestiltskin murdering Milah in cold blood. Her heart had been in turmoil from the moment of Hook's revelation, Belle reeling and frightened, disturbed at the very idea, and by the thought that she might be in love with a man capable of doing such a thing. A part of her had been in shock from the moment Hook had uttered that frightening claim, while another had been in pure denial. Some part of her still wanted to deny everything Hook had told her, and that same part was scared of the opportunity that lay with the Hook of the past. The chance to find out more, to learn the full details of what had went down the day Milah had been murdered. 

Scared to learn the truth, scared to NOT, Belle was a tense ball of emotion and fears. It made thinking difficult, in a time when she needed to be smart, Belle wishing she had more time to herself away from the pirate and his curiosity and lust. But time wasn't on her side in this, Hook already returning. And with him, two steps behind, was another, much older pirate. A man that Belle had to fight to keep from reacting too, and still her wary dislike showed as she looked at the red capped wearing Smee. 

He looked no different here than when he had kidnapped her back in Storybrooke. His eyes still gleamed with that deceptive kindness and concern, Smee looking harmless. But he was not. Belle's fingers didn't quite clench, the woman remember how Smee had nearly succeeded in sending her over the boundary which would have wiped out not only her memories but her very identity. He might have been acting under her father's orders, but she still couldn't forgive Smee. Not even now, when it was long before Smee had acted to do such a horrible thing. He was a pirate after all, and they were without scruples in the best of circumstances. But add money or worse yet revenge to the table, and a pirate was capable of just about anything. 

With that thought in mind, Belle looked downright defiant in response to Hook and Smee's approach. She didn't relax when Hook stepped aside to reveal what Smee was carrying, the older pirate holding a tray that held a mug of something steaming, and a bowl of some kind of stew that's delicious smell made Belle's mouth water despite herself. 

It left her torn in three directions, Belle trying to keep an eye on both pirates and the tray. Her hunger won out, Belle realizing it must have been days since she had had the chance to eat something solid. 

Her hungry reaction to the tray did not go unnoticed, Hook chuckling softly in response. "Smee was right to hazard a guess you'd be wanting something more substantial than just tea." 

"It was an easy enough guess to make." The man, Smee said, his cheeks rosy with a flush of pleasure at his captain's words. "I said to myself, the lady's bound to be starved with nothing but the doctor's medicines in her belly." 

The tray was brought before her, with it's hearty portion of meat stew, and chunks of white bread dipped in the brown colored sauce. It smelled wonderful, to the point it was all Belle could do to keep from gobbling it all down in a few bites. 

"Easy love..." Hook cautioned. "There's no need to make yourself sick trying to eat it all at once." 

She very nearly blushed in response to that, a mortified Belle forcing herself to slow down and actually enjoy the taste of the food. It was well worth the effort, the stew perhaps the best thing she had tried in recent memory, and that included the hamburgers at Granny's! The comparison brought on what might be the first pang of homesickness Belle had ever felt for Storybrooke, the woman wondering how, IF she would ever get back to that time and place. 

Her unhappiness showed, the sad frustration drawing Hook closer to her. She quickly put another spoonful of stew in her mouth, to stave off if not the question, than the answer she had to carefully give. 

"What's wrong, love?" 

Chewing slowly, Belle merely shrugged her shoulders in response. Admitting she had felt homesick, even for a brief second, seemed out of the question. It would bring up too many questions, Hook having already professed an interest in figuring out just where exactly in the Enchanted Realm's many kingdoms, Belle had come from. 

"Just can't remember the last time I tasted something this good..." 

The bed creaked with the weight of Hook added to it, the pirate leaning in close to her. The blunt curve of his hook gently touched under her chin, the pirate urging Belle to look up at him. 

"Now that be an evasion if ever I heard one." He smiled though, his eyes dancing with an amused light. "Now what is the real thing troubling you?" 

She watched his eyes glance briefly at her mouth, Belle having begun to bite down nervously on her bottom lip. Her face grew hot in response, Belle jerking away from the pirate and the hook he was named after. 

"Belle?" 

"I'm just..." She finally settled on what to say. "Just wondering if I will ever get to leave Neverland." 

"So quick and eager to want to leave...but then I suppose I can't blame you." Hook had lowered his arm. "After all Pan has done to you....ah but then you think I am to blame." 

"Aren't you?" Belle demanded hotly, at the same instant Smee spoke up in surprise. 

"You captain? But why?!" 

Hook didn't even look towards the other pirate. "Pan has been playing games." 

"Nothing unusual about that." huffed Smee. 

"Ah but this time he's gone so far as to manipulate events so that our sweet guest here thinks I am to blame for her misfortunes." Hook continued in a pleasant tone of voice. "You see Smee, he's made the lady here think I was the one who tried to kill her." 

Belle heard Smee's outrage gasp, then turned to look at the sputtering pirate. "The captain would NEVER! And certainly not to a lady!" Smee grew more agitated at Belle's lack of response, seeming to vibrate in place with his anger. 

"Easy there, Smee." Hook spoke up. "She doesn't know Pan like we do, or of the games he would play." 

It didn't work to calm Smee down entirely, the man still red faced with his upset. "Pan is the worst, my lady! Quick to make a victim of us all, you'd best be on guard where that demon imp is concerned." 

Belle couldn't stop her curiosity from bubbling up. "Why? What has he done that is so bad?" 

"What hasn't he done?!" Smee exclaimed. "Kidnapping, torture, murder, turning Neverland into a place of total terror..." 

"We've lost many a crew member to Pan and the dangers of Neverland." added Hook. "To his tricks and traps. It's sometimes been all we can do to survive..." 

"And yet you have stayed." Belle noted with an arch of her brow. "Why?" Her gaze narrowed at Hook. "Because you have a monster to kill?" 

"Aye because of that." Hook said with a nod of his head. 

She eyed him thoughtfully, considering carefully how she wanted to reply to that. She settled on a half truth, giving the pirate a bitter half smile. "That's a noble intention for a pirate." She sipped the warm drink for a second's pause. "The reward offered for it's head must be substantial for you to....dedicate yourself to such a dangerous pursuit." 

"Its not money that drives me, and I'm hardly one for noble intentions." Hook answered, the barest hint of some menace darkening his blue gaze. 

"Oh?" Belle tried to keep herself calm, not wanting to betray the excitement felt in her at the chance this conversation offered her. "Then what?" 

"This vendetta's more personal than anything you might be imagining." Hook told her. "Fame, heroics, money, it all means nothing. The monster's destruction is the only reward I'd want, the only compensation for what it has cost me." 

"What it's cost you?" The remains of the stew were completely ignored, Belle staring at Hook in an almost anxious manner. "What is that exactly?" Her eyes briefly glanced at his hook, before flicking back towards his face. "Your hand?" 

"Would that my hand was all the monster took from me." Hook all but growled. "But no. What was lost was something infinitely more precious." 

She couldn't help but shiver in reaction to the look in Hook's eyes, the dark menace, the hungry desire for vengeance now burning there. "Then...?" 

"Her name was Milah." Hook finished for her. "And she was the love of my life. The ONLY love of my life." 

"I...I'm sorry." Belle said with sincerity. Hook gave a slight nod of his head back, but otherwise seemed content to not reply at all. "But...vengeance....it cannot be what this Milah would want you to devote your life to." 

It was Smee who made a sound, a muffled noise of protest as though he was trying to stop Belle from saying any more. She didn't dare glance at Smee, not with Hook's expression darkening further. 

"And what would you know about that?" Hook demanded in a gruff, snarl of a voice. "Have you ever lost anyone, seen them killed before you?!" 

"I may not have, but I know what I would feel." Belle answered heatedly. "I wouldn't want my loved ones to waste their life on pursuing revenge. I would want them to focus on healing." 

"Healing?" Hook then scoffed. "As if it's easy or even possible." 

"Have you even tried?" Belle asked in challenge. "Do you even want to heal?" 

"I've followed this course for roughly two hundred years. I'm not about to divert from it for anyone, not my crew, and not even for someone as pretty as you." Hook snapped back, and abruptly got off the bed. 

But he didn't leave the alcove, standing instead with his back to Belle. A deep breath was heard, as though Hook was trying to calm himself with it. Belle wisely chose to keep quiet, not trusting that any response she could make wouldn't make the pirate angrier. Smee stood there uncertainly, giving Belle a pleading look before glancing at Hook with a shake of his head. 

"I'm sorry." Hook finally said. "The wound Milah's loss has dealt me, still stings to this day." He turned to Belle with a bitter expression. "In a lot of ways I feel as raw and torn open now as I did then..." 

"That must be a terrible way to live." 

"In truth, it's the only way I know how to be." Hook answered. "You asked about what drives me. It's the pain my lady. That gut wrenching loss I suffered, the pain of having her ripped from my life....that hurt is all I know, my revenge as much for myself as it is for Milah." 

"Yourself...?" Echoed Belle uncertainly. 

"Aye. For without it, I'd have no reason left for living." Hook told her. He said it with real feeling, with such a bleak look coloring his expression, that Belle believed Hook meant every word. Her own heart might have gone out to him just a little, for Belle would have needed to be made of immovable stone not to feel for a person who was reeling from a loss as devastating as the one Hook had suffered. It didn't mean she liked him any better, or the situation she found herself in, but Belle was closer to seeing Hook as something more than a murder minded pirate out for his enemy's blood. 

"What happens if you do achieve your revenge?" She asked, uneasily. "Your reason for living....will it change then?" 

Hook shrugged, evasive. "It doesn't really matter right now. I'm still a long ways from coming close to destroying my monster." 

"Which means we're a long way from leaving this accursed Neverland." Smee muttered unhappily. 

"Has it really been about two hundred years?" 

"Still having trouble believing?" Hook asked her. 

"Not exactly." Belle said. "But with all the time you've spent here...the world outside has changed so much. Kingdoms rising, kingdoms falling. Heroes born, and villains vanquished. Maybe even the monster that you know...is no longer..." 

"Alive?" Hook interrupted. "It's an ageless being with no known weaknesses. I've no doubt you've heard of him. The Dark One." 

"The Dark One?!" Belle forced herself to respond in fright to the reveal. "That's who you hunt?!" 

"I see by your reaction that the Dark One's reputation precedes him." 

"Everyone knows of the Dark One." Belle retorted. "And of his deal makings." 

Hook glanced at Smee. "What have I always said?" 

"The more things change, the more they remain the same." Smee dutifully supplied. 

Belle frowned at them both. "The Dark One is dangerous." She forced herself to say. "It's suicide to go after him...." 

"He'd see me dead even if I wasn't chasing after his death." Hook told her. "No. He won't tolerate my being alive, anymore than I can tolerate it for him." 

"Why?" Belle demanded. "What reason could the Dark One have for wanting you dead so badly? Because you hunt him?" 

"Because it was I who had the love of his wife." Hook answered. "And the Dark One couldn't stand the thought of that, or the fact that she had never loved him at all." 

"But surely he must have loved her..." 

"And that excuses what he did? That justifies being jealous and angry enough to kill a woman for rejecting him?!" Hook demanded angrily. "He didn't even hesitate before acting. Milah had barely gotten out the words, before he was ripping out her heart, and crushing it before her eyes!" 

Belle finding herself blinking back tears, just as upset now as she had been the first time she had heard such things from Hook. It wasn't any easier to hear this time, Belle wanting to scream and shout in protest. Because it wasn't the actions of the man she loved that Hook was describing. It couldn't be. 

But she couldn't deny the pain that Hook was feeling, or the anger that he showed when speaking about Rumplestiltskin. It was a hard truth to accept, and there was still so much of the story Belle didn't know enough about. What kind of woman had Milah been to have impacted both men so strongly that the ghost of her haunted them even in the present day? And how could love go so wrong, that it had left scars on them all? 

She didn't know, but Belle was determined to find out. It was why she sat up straighter in the bed, pushing the tray away from her as she told Hook to tell her everything. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter gave me all kinds of trouble. This is actually the third attempt...the first attempt got up to 10 KB before I decided it was crap, and started over from scratch. Second attempt only got as far as FOUR paragraphs before I trashed it. I think part of the problem is I wanted a Hook POV, but my gut instinct was saying it HAD to be a Belle POV. All attempts were in Belle's POV, but I was very resistant to the idea when I had my heart set on writing another Hook POV. 
> 
> But I finally got it finished! But...I liked this until about 15 KB in...then I started struggling again. I also don't imagine Hook telling Belle everything like she asked just yet. But we'll see. I may take a break from this to update another story. I'm really itching to update one of my other Hook Belle fics...particularly the trade off. Plus I feel kinda stuck right this second on how to advance the story to the part when a certain boy who never grew up makes his presence known. I'm really eager to get to Peter Pan's encounter with Belle written. But it's still a ways off as they are very far from the main land at this point and time..... 
> 
> \----Michelle


	9. Nine

At some point while talking with Belle, that old familiar pain had resurfaced, Hook feeling that strong surge of grief and worst yet, the anger. It was a complex emotion, that anger. Borne of his rage and the helplessness he had felt that day, the fear and the inability to do anything, and because of how his vengeance still remained thwarted. Coloring that anger, was also a whole lot of guilt, Hook blaming himself for so much. Wondering if there was some thing or some way to have avoided what had happened that day, the day the Dark One had come a calling. 

It was something Hook had wondered often about, everything being considered from not having gone to the tavern that night, to even not taking off with the Dark One's wife in the first place. But there were no guarantees, no way to ensure that Milah wouldn't have eventually still been murdered by Rumplestiltskin, no matter what Hook did or did not do. She hadn't been happy with her husband, and Hook didn't doubt that that unhappy woman wouldn't have found someone else to run off with, if it hadn't been with the pirates. 

It spoke of just how unhappy Milah had been, to leave behind a young son, and go off cavorting with a bunch of lawless pirates who had little regard and even less respect for any one woman. She had risked much, all on their captain's word, and if Hook had been less honorable and less a gentleman than he actually was, Milah would have found herself in a hell of a bad situation. But Hook's word and heart had been true, and it hadn't been just his bed that he had offered the raven haired beauty, but his protection and his love. Milah had gladly accepted all three from him, and she had thrived as both a pirate and as the captain's eventual right hand. 

It was a position earned, and not simply on her back as many of Hook's crew had first jealously assumed. They had resented following the orders of a woman, not thinking it right to have to take the orders of a strumpet who they had deemed good for only one thing. But Milah was no soft flower, the woman had been made of hardier stock. Years of living in less than ideal conditions in a rather poor village, and having to handle more drunks than anyone could have counted at her job working as a server in a tavern, had left the woman able to deal with so much. And that included a bunch of surly, perpetually horny pirates. Of course, it took more than just being able to boss people around, and put a few drunks on their ass, to command the respect of Hook's pirates. But Milah learned quick enough, Hook making it his business to see that she was tutored in the ways of the sword. 

There had been many lessons, both private and public, Hook transforming Milah from tired and angry wife, to a confidant and strong lass of the seas. It wasn't that long, maybe just over a year before Hook deemed her blade skilled enough to join the crew on their raiding. Milah had been impressive, killing and looting, and eventually winning the crew over due to her own fierceness. It was a grudging respect they had given her, but it was there, and in a way they had admired and even liked the woman that had stolen their captain's heart so completely. 

His heart so full of love and bursting with pride over the woman that had been his, had still twisted with fear, the night that Hook had encountered the Dark One outside that one tavern. Of course he had known what Rumplestiltskin had become, the man not at all shy about broadcasting his fortuitous turn into so powerful a monster. And of course, it had always been in the back of Hook's mind, that as the Dark One, Rumplestiltskin might come seeking revenge. But he hadn't wanted to live his life in fear, and he had foolishly put behind him the thought that they would ever cross paths in the slums of some small town port. 

That night, when Hook and the Dark One had locked eyes, he had seen the hatred there. The lust for vengeance that had never died, and the evil confidence that would at long last see Rumplestiltskin have his day. Hook had in effect seen his death in Rumplestiltskin's eyes, but instead of fearing for himself, his thoughts had turned to Milah and how he couldn't let the Dark One find her. 

Acting to save both Milah and his crew, Hook had agreed to meet the Dark One for a duel to the death. Hook knew he stood no chance of winning, and his crew had had strict orders to spirit Milah away to safety while he was gone. They were helped by the fact that Hook had lied and told Rumplestiltskin that his wife Milah had died, and the man had actually seemed staggered by the loss of her. Was it true sadness, or was it something darker, an urge that would never be satisfied now that he thought Milah was beyond his reach? Hook hadn't known then, but after Mila's brutal killing, there was no doubt left. Rumplestiltskin had hungered with a desire for revenge not just against Hook, but against his own wife as well. 

Hook didn't care about Rumplestiltskin's reasons. He didn't care if Rumplestiltskin had once truly loved Mila, or that the pain of her loss had driven him insane. He certainly didn't care that Rumplestiltskin blamed Milah leaving for all that had gone wrong in his life, that he blamed her for the loss of their son Baelfire. Hook didn't care that he himself was also at fault, having agreed to steal off with Milah, and break up her family. Hook knew that all three had been equal parts selfish, but that didn't change the fact that Rumplestiltskin had wanted revenge, had wanted both Milah and Hook dead. 

And so Hook had moved to protect Milah the only way that he had thought he could. It had nearly cost him his life, for even a skilled swordsman like Hook was no match for the magic of the Dark One. Where he had once been lame and clumsy, that trembling coward was no more. Now Rumplestiltskin was fleet of foot, and had the strength of what felt like ten men. Fit though he was, Hook had found himself struggling, and ultimately was knocked to the ground. What was to be his last moment, wasn't spent begging for his life, or thinking of regrets. Instead it was one of relief, Hook sure Milah and his crew were safe from that monster. 

His mind's peace had shattered in seconds, the killing blow having been halted mid swing. The woman's voice had been strong and commanding, betraying only a sliver of her fear. Hook and Rumplestiltskin had both turned in shock, the pirate full of love and fear, and even anger over Milah's arrival. Rumplestiltskin had been angry too, but also perversely delighted, for here at long last was the chance to pay back the woman he had blamed for everything. Hook didn't want to think about how the Dark One would have made Milah suffer, but before that monster could do much more than grin maliciously, the woman had held up her trump card. 

Smee's red knit cap. Hook hadn't known then what it was, or what importance such a thing held. He hadn't yet known of Smee, or of his natural talent for finding just about anything needed. And he certainly didn't know, that in a fit of desperation, Milah and the pirates had found and captured the one man Rumplestiltskin had needed most in the moment. A man so needed, the Dark One was willing to forgo his revenge, and give over the lives of Hook, Milah, and their entire crew. 

Or so it had seemed. What followed after wasn't the simple exchange they had promised each other. When Rumplestiltskin had arrived at the ship, he hadn't even seemed interested in the man, Smee, or the bean that he had found. Instead he was focused on Milah, on asking his many questions, on badgering her until he forced a confession out of her. Milah in an exasperated fit of anger and frustration, had blurted out the honest answer Rumplestiltskin had wanted, and nothing could have helped her in time. Not the crew, not Hook, and not even her sword, the Dark One's fist immediately in her chest, already cruelly jerking it out, with her heart held firmly in his hand. 

That might be the moment Hook relived the most often, those few short seconds where everything had seemed to freeze. The screams, and the gasps of horror, the abrupt blinking of his eyes, Milah's heart crushed to a fine red powder before anyone, even Hook, could move. What followed next is a blur, his memories having been lost to the pain of his own heart breaking, and the sudden, no less excruciating sensation of his hand being chopped off. Hook had been blinded by rage and that pain, and had to rely on the accounts of his crew to tell him what had happened immediately after Milah's form crumpled to the ship's deck. 

The crew though in shock, had acted on their captain's orders. It was orders Hook still didn't remember giving, Milah's body being pried from him, the still bleeding stump where his hand had once been, being tended too. He's been told time and time again, that it was his decision to replace it with a hook, and that he had been the one to use the bean to get the ship and it's crew to safety. Hook couldn't claim to remember any of it, save for the all consuming grief, and the burning desire for vengeance. A craving for revenge so strong, that it had kept Hook alive, and that thought in his head that was more promise than wish, the pirate vowing he would do whatever it took, live however long it took, to get his revenge on Rumplestiltskin. 

It was that drive for vengeance, that had opened the way, Hook using the bean. The wish in his heart, wasn't enough to save Milah, but it was able to take Hook and his pirates to a land where time did not matter. A land that might even hold the secret to finding a way to see revenge done, and Milah honored. Even a land that would keep them safe of the Dark One, though there were other dangers to be found. 

Such dangers had considerably dwindled down the size of his crew, Neverland a hostile place, ruled by a boy that was more demon than human. With his band of brats, the Lost Boys, and his command of many of the creatures that made Neverland their home, Peter Pan ruled over the land and the sky, and even to some extent the sea. The mermaids weren't content to give up total control, making the already dangerous Never Sea even more so, and a tentative peace existed between them and the boy king. 

But no such peace was there for the pirates! On land, on sea, why even the sky itself held dangers. Neverland was a cruel, unforgiving place, a nightmarish land that by all right could have been a paradise once upon a time. Hook didn't mind it's nature much, for there was plenty of wild magic and deadly creatures to be found, things he had hoped to use one day against the very monster he had sworn revenge against. That he hadn't found the something that could definitely put an end to the Dark One didn't much matter. The bean had answered the wish in his heart and brought him to the one place that Hook would eventually find what he needed to use against Rumplestiltskin. It didn't matter that roughly two hundred years had passed, that in all that time they hadn't found a magic deadly enough to strip the dark one of his powers, let alone kill him. Hook kept hold of his vengeance, and his belief in the bean's power to grant wishes, and bring people to where they needed most. 

Such was his belief in the bean's power, that Hook didn't feel too disappointed to learn that the bit of metal that had been found inside Belle's shoulder, the bullet as she had named it, wasn't the magic he was looking for. If the bullet wasn't the answer, something else would be, and Hook would keep searching, even if a thousand years must go by. Being in Neverland gave him the luxury of time, and wouldn't Peter Pan have a fit if the pirates remained for that long. 

The idea of Pan's fury was enough to make most people tremble, but Hook wasn't like most people. Even if he had been, at the moment Hook was still too caught up in the memories, in the power they had still make him mourn, as well as feel the anger and the guilt and the regret. The guilt might be double on this day, Hook having let himself be affected by the woman, by Belle. It wasn't something he had set out to feel, Hook having spent years thinking he was incapable of reacting to another woman after having lost his Milah. It wasn't feelings he exactly welcomed, Hook fearful of the pain that could come as a result of them, but also feeling genuine guilt, as though he was somehow betraying Milah's memory by reacting to the first beautiful face to come along. 

That same beautiful face was staring at him now, the woman Belle waiting on him. That he was taking his time on answering her, didn't seem to bother Belle. Indeed she was sitting straight and stiff in his bed, her expression one of trepidation, as though she didn't want to hear whatever Hook might have to say, but was bracing herself for it all the same. Her eyes shimmered, glistening wet with a sadness Hook didn't quite understand. Did she feel sorry for him, for what he had lost, or was there more to Belle's sadness then she let on? 

The funny thing was, Hook had the strange feeling it was all those things, and yet also something he couldn't quite imagine. But then he wasn't exactly thinking straight, his mind on a past that tore open his wounded heart again and again, grief, regret, anger, all boiling within him. It was a sad and painful, and did much to dull the flames of desire that had been coursing through him just moments earlier. He no longer felt quite so out of control with lust, the rage in him something familiar and comforting, Hook welcoming it like an old friend. It lent him strength, and though it denied him peace of mind, it helped to keep Hook focused on and motivated by his revenge, rather than the pretty, half naked woman in his bed. 

Certainly that focus helped keep Hook from getting any closer to Belle, physically or otherwise! For the last thing he wanted, or needed, was to do---say anything, that would earn her pity or worse yet her sympathies. She was already too close to crying over what little she did know, and he was far from wanting to form an even deeper bond with her over his miserable, pain filled past. 

It was a past and a pain that held him back, Hook fearing the woman, and her ability to hurt should he let her get too close. With his pain already so powerful, Hook felt he couldn't afford to add to it, to even risk the chance of it becoming doubled or even tripled in size. Any real investment in a relationship, friendship or otherwise, was simply too much of a risk, Neverland too much a danger, Pan's intentions for Belle too uncertain a factor. It wasn't that Hook thought Belle was completely doomed, but the odds were certainly against her in this situation, so much so that the pirate acted to protect himself by trying to remain indifferent. It was an indifference he had to actually work at, Hook already finding himself far too affected by Belle, by her unenviable situation, and her breath taking beauty. 

Pushing through the sympathetic nature of his feelings towards her, and that jarring attraction to her, Hook let the pain of his past envelope him like a shield. The memories that had come with that pain, had played out in his mind in a sharp, potent flashes that had taken mere seconds at best. It was simply too costly otherwise, Hook unable to allow himself the distraction of a deeper examination most days. Pan, Neverland's many dangers, even his crew itself, would have been quick to take advantage of such a thing. Even the beauty in his bed, might be suspect, Hook unable to know just how much she could be trusted, their conversation thus far doing little to help him to decide in either direction. 

He needed to change that. She had to stand revealed, be it as danger or as innocent or even as both. Talking about his past wouldn't help, the sharing of it accomplishing little save to give her ammunition should she prove to be Pan's agent. And the possibility was that that was what Belle ultimately was, just some new way to torment Hook, to hurt him, maybe to even get him killed. Knowingly or otherwise, Belle was a trouble Hook couldn't afford and yet he was almost certainly stuck with her all the same. His damn gentleman's honor wouldn't let him abandon her without knowing the full truth, and even then there was no guarantees, Hook unable to stomach the idea of abandoning a woman to the dangers of Neverland or his pirates. 

Holding in a sigh that bemoaned the complexities of the situation, Hook fixed Belle with a thin smile. 

"Everything?" He echoed, as though he hadn't just spent the last few moments, thinking and remembering about the past, not to mention weighing and considering the present's situation. "Now that be a mighty big request you be asking of me." 

"I...I don't do it lightly." Belle told him, and the grave expression that she wore almost let him believe that. She seemed very much afraid of what he might say, but then she could be just that good an actress, willing to pretend it was such a struggle to find out the sordid truth of Hook's past. 

Keeping his expression from darkening at that thought, Hook maintained his thin sliver of a smile. "I'm sure you don't. But it's I who should be asking the questions." He saw how she didn't quite hide the flash of unease in those beautifully expressive blue eyes. He wondered at that, and it nearly drove him closer to the bed. 

"What's wrong?" He asked softly, his words a challenge. "You have something to hide?" 

He wasn't sure what would have been the better reaction. An immediate denial, or the slight hesitation that she ultimately ended up doing. 

"Everyone has their secrets." Belle finally said. 

"No doubt about that." Hook agreed. "But some are more...dangerous than others." 

She nodded slowly in agreement. "Secrets have the power to blow up a person's world..." 

"Secrets can also set one free." Smee interjected himself back into the conversation, the pirate reminding them of his quiet presence. Neither Hook nor Belle glanced towards him, too focused on one another. "One's heart usually longs for the unburdening that only the truth can give it." 

"And yet the truth can bring a whole set of new problems in it's wake." countered Hook, still staring at Belle. He almost missed the subtle way the shiver rolled through her, Belle nodding in agreement. 

"The truth can be ugly." She said. "And there are some times good reasons to keep it from getting out." 

"Good reasons that are ultimately self serving." Hook retorted. 

"I'm sorry?" 

"It's been my experience, that those who keep it's secrets, do it for their own benefit." Hook explained. "To keep someone or something, or to keep out of trouble...." 

"But sometimes it's to keep another from being hurt!" Belle shot back quickly. "The truth can be painful at times, and some people withhold it to protect another feelings or even a life." 

"There is that, I suppose." Hook reluctantly agreed. "But often times, secrets are nothing that noble." 

"And noble would matter to a pirate?" Belle demanded crossly. 

"I wasn't always a pirate, love." Hook countered, and saw the surprised look on her face. His smile became genuine, the pirate now amused. "Did you think I was born into the life?' 

"The thought...may have crossed my mind." She admitted quietly. 

"You'd be a lot worse off if the captain had!" Smee muttered, a shudder shaking his thick body. "The captain's a lot nicer than the rest of his crew, and you and I BOTH would be in far worse situations if any of that mangy lot were to take command." 

Now Belle shivered in response to that. But aside from that slight tremble, she didn't lose the fire in her, the look in her eyes defiant. "If not pirate, WHAT were you then?" 

"Someone who knew about noble." Hook grinned at her frustration. "Sorry love, it's not a story I care to be sharing at this time." 

"Then when?" 

He was quiet a moment, though he already knew the answer. It wasn't just his past with Milah that he wanted to avoid delving into detail over. To share any of it, about his brother, his life as a respected lieutenant in a kingdom long gone, the king's secret that had ultimately led to Hook's rebellion, would be an act of letting his guard down. For letting this beauty get closer to him would bring a bond he wasn't ready for, a bond he might NEVER be wanting. 

"It's not you who should be asking all these questions." Hook finally said. "My past is my past, and it matters little what has shaped me." 

"It matters to me!" The defiant light blazed brighter in her eyes, Belle angry. "You're asking a lot of me just on faith alone in the existence of your gentleman's nature. I'm expected to trust you, that you'll protect me from your pirates, and that you yourself will behave. What's more, you tell me I am for all intents and purposes stuck here until you what....find something to kill the Dark One with? I'm expected to just sit here and be content with how ever long that takes, and not be allowed the full details of the whole story behind all this?" 

"I've told you enough." Hook growled, his smile gone. "I've told you why I hunt the Dark One, what he took from me...." 

"And yet you haven't even begun to tell me why you thought it was a good idea to run off with the Dark One's wife in the first place!" Belle snapped out in interruption. "Surely you have to know how dangerous that act was...and that he would have come after you both." 

Hook had to take several deep calming breaths, to avoid shouting back at Belle. "He wasn't the Dark One yet, when I sailed off with my Milah." 

"Wasn't the Dark One?" Some of her fire had cooled to her surprise, Belle's eyes widening. "But I thought..." 

"I don't know HOW he did it." Hook told her. "And I don't know WHY. But once he was nothing but a man...no, less than a man, a coward true and true." 

"He..." She started to say, then abruptly fell silent. 

"I won't bore you with the details of the lengths of his cowardice." Hook continued. "But it was not a happy family, or a loving marriage that I broke up when I went and met his wife, Milah. She was miserable, and chomping at the bit to escape him. There's no doubt in my mind, she would have found someone else to go off with, if it hadn't been with me." 

"And this..." She hesitated, as though choosing carefully her words. "Is the woman that you loved?" 

"With every beat of my heart." nodded Hook. "It's not right the way she left him, or the way that I took her, but that monsters just as much as to blame as any of us for the whole sordid affair. And there's no reason in all the realms, that could justify his killing her over it." 

He watched as Belle seemed to sag in place on the bed, her face ducking forward so that the sweep of her hair could provide her a way to hide. He still caught sight of the defeated look in her eyes, that and the hopeless sorrow that Hook had no way of understanding. 

"I hope your curiosity is satisfied enough, because that's all I'll be telling you." Hook continued in a gruff tone. She didn't look up at him, didn't bother to acknowledge what he said in one way or the other. Belle just sat there, forlorn and quiet as she stared down at the bed sheet over her lap. 

Seeing her like that, it made Hook want to sigh. Instead he forced himself to be like steel, to do what needed to be done, to press her for the answers he wanted---needed for his own peace of mind. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

To Be Continued....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well I finally got this chapter done. Though it's a love hate affair for me, the feelings I have on this chapter. Truthfully I wish I was a little further ahead in the story then I am at this point and time. I'm eager to get to Peter Pan's introduction in the story! 
> 
> I don't have much to say this time around. ^^'' 
> 
> \----Michelle


	10. Ten

The words that Hook had spoke were an echo of her heart's own worst fears, Belle having already known that there was no real way to justify a cold blooded act of murder. Especially of a person you had lived with, had a child with, maybe even had loved. Why only the most wicked, the most evil, the most insane were capable of such a heinous act. An act so horrible it left Belle wondering how she could ever hope to forgive Rumplestiltskin for his crime, her heart beginning to break as the beauty realized she might never have truly known him at all.

It wasn't the first time she was having such a thought. A thought that had been planted by Hook's first heated utterance, the pirate revealing just what had happened to Rumplestiltskin's wife and why. To hear that Rumplestiltskin had killed the woman Milah had been devastating, and doubly so to hear he had done it in a raging fit of reaction to the fact his wife had loved another. It left Belle reeling, her thoughts spiraling out of control, the woman worrying this way and that way, and ultimately coming back to the fact that Rumplestiltskin had enough anger in him to kill his wife, the mother of his own child. 

Belle didn't know if Rumplestiltskin had loved Milah, though she had always assumed it so. He had been married to her, and had had a child with her, and that had to have meant something. But Belle hadn't put much more thought to the woman Rumplestiltskin had once been married to, accepting that she, like their son was gone. Now she felt the fool, Belle wishing she had been more alert to the subtle nuances of the tense energy Rumplestiltskin had often exhibited when asked about his wife. Belle had written it off in part as some tragic circumstance, some situation too painful for Rumplestiltskin to want to talk about. She had respected his wishes to keep tight lipped on the matter, her curiosity being buried by her love for him. By the secret relief in her heart that with Milah gone, Rumplestiltskin was free to love and marry again. 

It was Belle's darkest secret, the guilt of her desire to be with Rumplestiltskin had let her turn a blind eye to most of his foul deeds. She had after all seen first hand, the wickedness he was capable of doing, the lives manipulated, ruined, the blood her own hands had had to wash out of his work clothes. Her infatuation with him, that hopeless crush of first love blooming, had let Belle seek out the goodness in him at the expense of the truth. She had ignored most of his darkness, her fears and upset swept under the rug as Belle had delighted in the rare acts of kindness he had proved capable of. 

Now instead of focusing on that kindness, a torrent of memories, of ill deeds were flooding her mind, making Belle want to scream out and cry. But she couldn't, not with the pirates present, not with Hook himself watching her so carefully. She was aware of his eyes on her, the fall of her hair unable to hide her so completely. Belle could only hope Hook wouldn't be so curious as to question her strong reactions, the woman actively seeking to distract him. 

"It's enough." She said out loud, though her heart longed to scream out no. It would never be enough, no matter what Hook told her next, because Belle would always struggle with what Rumplestiltskin had done, and worse yet, with how she could have let herself be fooled to love a man capable of such a thing. 

Worse yet, Belle wanted to delve further into the past, to dig out every excruciatingly painful detail. She wanted to know it all, wanted to understand every angle and reason of all involved in the tale. She latched onto what little Hook did tell her, remembering how he acknowledged that all three of them had been to blame. She was in too much pain to be impressed by his honesty, Belle more used to Rumplestiltskin and how he would have blamed it all on Hook. 

In fact, hadn't Rumplestiltskin done exactly that? Hadn't he been quick to lie to her and tell her the pirate had STOLEN Milah? Hadn't he left her disarmed, and unprepared for the truth that he had to have known Hook wouldn't have kept quiet about? But then Rumplestiltskin hadn't ever counted on Belle meeting with Hook. The man had probably intended to kill the pirate, both to satisfy his burning hatred, and to keep the past buried. Belle felt sicker at the idea of going on not knowing the true nature of Rumplestiltskin, and yet she couldn't feel grateful to Hook. Not completely. Not when a part of her still wanted to run and hide, and wrap itself in that blissful fog of ignorance Belle had been living in for YEARS. 

Hurt and resentment boiling over in her, Belle barely heard Hook speaking. That pleasantly accented voice of his came from a muted distance, the words lost to Belle's upset. So was the creak of the bed, a weight being added to it, as the pirate reached out to her. She felt the shock of the cold that was the silver metal of his hook on her shoulder, the pirate's fingers stroking back her hair, so that the curled sides of it were tucked over her ear. She looked up at him and blinked, the present situation making itself known. 

It was more than the fact that Hook was once again in bed with her, and the hard truth was that she had more to worry about than Rumplestiltskin, his lies, his covering of the past, her complete misjudging of him. Belle had the more immediate problem of her venture into Neverland's past, and the fact that the pirate had more questions than she could honestly answer. At least not with the truth as it was, Belle fearing Hook would kill her if he learned of her connection to Rumplestiltskin. One near death experience was enough for her, and as upset as she was with the pirate, she also wasn't eager to make Hook her enemy. 

But she didn't want to be friends with him either! She was once again uneasy with having him in the bed with her, though it wasn't as bad as before. Hook's lustful fire had cooled considerably, the act of prodding into his past, making him angry and sad, a potent mix that had ripped away most of his desire. She felt safer with his anger, trusting it to protect her in a way that his lust would not. That anger wasn't truly directed at her, but at his past, and at the enemy he hadn't been able to yet kill. An enemy he probably would never be able to kill, and Belle wasn't going to do anything to let him know that he was closer to revenge than Hook actually realized. 

"I'm sorry, what?" Belle ask out loud, her brow furrowed with a confusion she didn't have to pretend at to feel. She had completely missed what Hook had been saying, the question he had been asking. He gave her a patient look, his fingers still playing with a stray curl of Belle's hair. 

"I was saying I don't understand you." He said, his dark blue eyes fixed carefully on hers. 

Belle frowned, and nearly let out a hysterical giggle. She knew he didn't, her reactions confusing to any who didn't know the real truth of her situation and the nature of her association with this man and with Rumplestiltskin. "What is there not to understand?" She wondered out loud, pleased her voice sounded calm if a bit detached. 

"Your reaction for one." Hook told her. 

"What about it?" Belle asked, wary despite herself. 

"Such sorrow for a woman you did not know." Hook began, but it was Smee who then interrupted. 

"It's a sad, tragic tale." The older pirate said. "And the lady is such a kind, feeling soul." He turned red as Belle and Hook glanced his way, Smee shrugging. "At least I assume she is...most women often are." 

"Are you like most women, love?" Hook's attention was back on Belle, his sharp gaze missing none of her hesitation. 

"I like to believe I am my own woman." Belle retorted. "An individual able to think and feel on my own. But yes..a tragedy such as you've experienced, can't help but affect me." She paused, trying not to look defiant. "Especially when I see how it's hurt you, how deep your pain still is..." 

"I'll not be wanting your pity." Hook gruffly said, the curl he had been playing with, snapping back in place against her cheek. The pirate was already leaving the bed, when Belle's quiet words stopped him. 

"I'm not sure if it's pity, or something else." 

"What else could it be?" He was guarded, his back to her as he asked that question. 

Belle started to shrug, then thought better of it as her wounded shoulder protested the movement. "Maybe I emphasize..." 

"How could you?" Hook didn't quite scoff. "You told me you've never had a loved one murdered." 

"No I haven't." Agreed Belle. "But I know what it's like to have your heart break because of the cruel actions of another." 

"I don't see how they could come close to being the same." 

She was all set to argue, not to tell him about Rumplestiltskin exactly, but to reveal she had actually loved a murderer. She bit back those words at the last second, realizing it was too close to the truth, to revealing a claim to make. Instead Belle sighed, and looked down at her lap, before muttering. 

"You'll just have to trust me on that." 

"Trust..." Again he scoffed, Hook turning to look at her. "You'll find trust is not an easy thing to find in this land. It has to be EARNED." 

"Earned? And how does one go about doing that?" Belle wondered. 

"How does one go about proving anything so intangible?" Hook countered. "Through strength of character, through action and honest speaking." 

"And I suppose you will be the judge of all that?" Belle wondered, a tad snappishly. 

"Who better than the captain of this ship?" Hook asked. "The man who risks much to protect you." 

"I don't ask you to." Belle protested. 

"No?" He arched a brow, and crossed his arms over his broad chest. "If not me, then who? My crew? Pan? Or would you take your chances alone in Neverland?" 

"By and by, none of those are appealing!" Smee muttered to which Belle could only agree. 

Hook fixed her with a cold, satisfied smile. "Then if you understand the situation....?" 

"No, I don't. Not entirely." She eyed him suspiciously. "If there are indeed such risks involved, what could you possibly get out of protecting me?" 

"What indeed..." Hook muttered it in such a way, that Belle was hardly reassured, even though he glowered at her. 

It made her uncomfortable, even more so than she already was, Belle unsure of what if anything she could say in the moment. 

"Fear not, my lady. The captain's not that kind of man." Smee's words earned him an angry growl from his captain. "Well you're not. In all my time as a member of your crew, I've never known you to hurt a lady." 

"Which isn't saying much." Hook pointed out. "We haven't seen a REAL woman in years." 

"Still I believe you'll do what's best where the lady is concerned." Smee insisted, though his expression hinted at his discomfort. 

"Look...I don't want to be a problem." Belle said, and ignored the dry chuckle that Hook let out. "If you just let me off on the nearest habitable bit of land...somewhere nice and dry and safe...." 

"Safe? Safe is an illusion in this blasted realm!" exclaimed Hook. "This is not a civilized world, there's more monsters out there than in the Enchanted Realm we once called home!" 

"I can handle myself." She said, with a stubborn lift to her chin. Hook gave her a mocking once over, Belle's skin warming in anger. 

"You wouldn't last a night out there on your own." 

"Try me." She challenged, her own anger getting the best of her. Fortunately for Belle, Hook had better control of his own, not rising to the bait. 

"I'm not about to let you do something that stupid, no matter how you may try to goad me." 

"Stupid?!" But Belle didn't get a chance to do more than fume, Hook continuing to speak as though she hadn't just stammered out a word. 

"Nor am I about to let you keep distracting me from the matter at hand." He leaned in close enough to loom over her, his blue eyes gleaming with a hard, inquisitive light. "I've got questions for you, and I mean to have my answers now." 

"What more could you possibly have to ask me?" 

"A fair bit I'd say." Hook answered. "Pan chose you after all, and I mean to know why." 

"Why don't you ask HIM then?" Belle demanded, in less than syrupy sweet tones. 

"As if anyone could coax a straight answer out of the brat." Smee muttered, busying himself by collecting the mug and the remains of the stew Belle had been eating. 

"I could shout myself deaf and still not be able to trust most of what Pan says." Hook added. "He's a skilled one at that, an expert at lies and deceit. But you..." 

"What about me?" 

Hook's lips parted, then abruptly snapped close. He frowned at her, shaking his head. "Tell me exactly how you came to believe I shot you." 

Belle's thoughts couldn't help but remember about how she had heard Hook's voice growling shortly after the impact of the bullet to her shoulder. Belle hadn't seen his face, but his voice had been angry enough, vindictive and sneering. 

"It was you." She whispered out loud. "You WANTED to hurt me, maybe even kill me." She shivered. "If your aim had been any better, I think you would have." 

"Pan's ploy was certainly effective, wasn't it Smee?" Hook wondered out loud. But his eyes remained on Belle, and the woman barely heard whatever it was Smee tsked about. 

"I'd be insulted." 

"Oh I am, I am." Hook said to Smee. "It's not enough that boy be a constant pain in my side, but now he tries to make people think the worst of me." 

"You're a pirate!" Belle pointed out with an exasperated sound. 

"A pirate, yes, but never a killer of women." She could see that he believed it, but Belle also knew things could change. The Hook of the past might think he would never want to hurt a woman, but the one she knew, the pirate of Storybrooke's present hadn't hesitated to go after her. Not once, but several times, actively threatening her, actually shooting her, even slapping her that one time. He had made her the focal point of his revenge, her relationship with Rumplestiltskin effectively painting a target on Belle's back. 

She felt as though that target was still there, lingering just beneath her skin. Belle had to tread carefully with what she said, lest it be brought back to the surface. "I know what---who shot me that night." She allowed a small frown, a sliver of the truth coming out. "Though I still don't understand how I came to be here, in Neverland..." 

"What do you remember?" Smee asked, the tray in his hands, though the older pirate made no move to leave the alcove. It seemed he was just as curious as Hook, fixing his deceitfully kind eyes on Belle. 

"Falling." Belle whispered. "I remember falling." 

"That must have been when Pan or his shadow dropped you into the Never Sea." Hook noted. 

"No...no the falling came much sooner than that." Belle lifted her hands, staring at their palms before curling her fingers into a fist. "With these hands, I tried to stop my fall. With these hands I expected to feel the ground hit me. Instead...." 

"Instead?" prodded Hook when her silence went on for longer than a minute. 

"Instead, the ground turned...soft. No less than soft. It was as though it became nothing more than air, and then I was falling even further, plunging into the ice cold sea." She looked up from her hands, locked eyes with Hook. "And that Captain, is the God's honest truth." 

Hook held her stare, and nodded slowly. "I might believe you on that. You're too shaken by the experience to have it not be the truth." 

"It must have been terrifying." Smee added, and Belle glanced away from Hook. 

"It was." She admitted. "It still is." She looked back at Hook. "I know who shot me.....but I don't believe that person is at fault for my ending up in this Neverland. I don't know who is to blame, nor can I give a real guess as to what magic is at work here....But I have come here with no more agenda than to find out the truth and get back to my home." 

"I can't help you quite yet with the going home...." Hook said, then offered her a small smile. "But I will do my utmost to help uncover the truth for you...if only to prove my innocence in this matter." 

She wasn't sure what to say, her truth and Hook's truth two very different matters. Belle's truth could get her killed, and the pirate's truth, those details she so desperately wanted, weren't something he seemed eager to share ever. It seemed as though the safer, more easily accomplished goal would be to get back to her own time and her home, and yet Belle had no idea how to go about doing that, save to wait for a miracle in the form of Rumplestiltskin. 

Luckily Smee took it upon himself to fill in the silence, though his question wasn't one Belle wanted to hear. "Just where, if I may ask, is home?" 

"Can't you guess?" Hook asked. "Her accent is almost a dead give away." 

"I don't have as good an ear as you do, captain." Smee said regretfully. 

"I'm surprised any of you have good hearing, given how loud those cannons are!" Belle exclaimed, and it was said partly to distract them from Smee's question. Unfortunately Hook seemed to know exactly what she was doing, a slight frown on his lips as he looked at her. 

"The Northern Forest Kingdoms, or what's left of Olaf's territories." He said, musingly. 

"That's...that's right." Belle cautiously, reluctantly said. 

"I look forward to hearing all about it." Hook continued, and he actually smirked at her discomfort. 

"It's really not that interesting a tale...." 

"Somehow I doubt it. After all, it's an age of enlightenment you come from!" Hook's smirk widened. "If everyone can read." 

"Everyone can read?!" Smee exclaimed in surprise. "That is amazing, if it's true..." He then frowned. "Though I can't imagine the nobility being happy with their lessers bettering themselves like that." 

"Reading...reading is a very necessary part of life." Belle hesitantly said. 

"My how things have changed in so short a time." marveled Smee. "But then I suppose it's not that surprising, given the oddities you arrived with." 

"The bullet?" Belle guessed, and Smee nodded with a smile. 

"That and your clothes, those strange fabrics. Like nothing we've ever seen. A shame they had to be ruined." 

"Yes, a shame." Hook agreed with a wide grin that made him look positively mischievous. She glowered at him in response, and wondered out loud just what she was expected to wear now that her clothing had been ruined. There was no easy answer there, Smee hemming and hawing, making excuses while Hook just maintained his grin. Belle very much wanted to belt the smirk right off the captain's face, and throw a pillow at Smee for good measure. 

It was an impulsive desire, and one that would be repeated in the coming days of her recovery. Hook knew how to prove infuriating, and Smee with his constant apologetic deference to the captain's wishes, was just as bad. She could sense that Smee wanted to help her, but the man wouldn't go against Hook's desire. And what that pirate desired most was to keep Belle in his bed, dressed in nothing more than one of his silk shirts. 

There was always some excuse made, some reason why they couldn't spare the fabric and thread for Belle to make even one dress. She was really starting to think the captain was one big pervert, and there was no doubting that he enjoyed looking at her dressed like that. It was enough to make Belle spend as much time under the bed's covers as she could possibly tolerate, but all too soon, the returning surge of her health and strength would bring Belle to wander the cabin that was both her reluctant safe haven, and prison. 

And it was, the captain's cabin keeping her hidden and safe from the worst of his crew. But she wasn't allowed to leave it, Hook and Smee and even the doctor all agreeing it wasn't wise to let the crew be reminded of Belle's presence. They hoped to minimize some disaster, some danger by keeping Belle out of sight, and out of mind, and frankly it was driving the woman stir crazy. 

Her one touch with the world outside the cabin, was the lone window in the room. It was big, and so different from the typical portholes many a ship favored. It had a comfortable sill that Belle spent hours lounging on, staring out at the sea, while basking in what sunlight came in through the window. It wasn't enough to keep up her healthy coloring, Belle's once creamy golden skin, turning a much paler ivory, but she was still nowhere near the level of sickly white that Doctor Connor maintained. 

In some ways this reminded her of her captivity at the hands of the Evil Queen, Regina, though there was no drugs involved, and this time she had Hook, Smee, and the Doctor for company. It was still lonely, Belle guarded and trying not to divulge too much information, lest she mire herself in a trap of her own making. But it was difficult to avoid talking, all three men so curious about her, and where she came from. Belle eventually found herself naming Storybrooke, mixing the truth of it with some of the history she had studied as a child in her kingdom. They still believed the Enchanted Realm had entered into an age of enlightenment, and they thought Storybrooke was a town in the land known as Maurice the first's kingdom. 

Belle never liked talking about herself, and she certainly never revealed that King Maurice was her great grandfather twice removed. Belle never even revealed that she was a princess, explaining instead that she was a book keeper, lending books to the enlightened populace of Storybrooke. In a lot of ways, the library felt more real to her than the kingdom she had grown up in, and books were almost always a safe subject. 

Slowly, surely, reluctantly, Belle began to get used to her life as a pirate's kept woman. She settled into a pattern where she shared her morning and evening meals with Hook, had lunch with Smee or the Doctor, and spent the rest of her days staring out of the cabin's sole window. Her thoughts always raced during those times, Belle trying to figure out what she would do if she never got back to Storybrooke, and trying to keep track of what stories she had told Hook as the made up history of Storybrooke. 

Sometimes she would hear the other pirates talking, their words coarse and vulgar but so welcome to a woman who was so detached from the rest of the world. Sometimes Belle would hear fighting, the vicious yells accompanied by swords clanging. Sometimes after those fights Hook would return to the cabin, his expression angry, his hook bloody. Belle knew then that the captain had been fighting his crew over her, though Hook never said anything to let her know for sure how close he had come to losing control of his own ship. It terrified her, the thought of what would happen should Hook one day lose, but Belle tried to no give in to fear. She told herself Hook had lived to come to Storybrooke some one hundred years or more later, and that he wouldn't do that, if he had died defending her and his ship. 

She wasn't yet thinking about paradoxes, about how her presence aboard the ship could be changing the future. Nor did she wonder about how this situation might be affecting her, Belle's isolation and imprisonment making her lonely, and dependent on those she did see. She felt gratitude swelling inside her heart every time she realized with relief that Hook had been fighting for her, Belle understanding he was putting his neck on the line to keep her safe, and keep control of his ship. 

But she was still determined not to like him. Even as she felt glad to see him, and talk with him during their meals, even as she felt more and more grateful, more and more relieved with every one of his victories, Belle fought the softening of her resentments. It was Hook who had tried to kill her after all, and it was Hook who had shattered her world, by bringing the truth about Rumplestiltskin to light. 

There were times when it was easier to dislike Hook than others. That first night awake in his bed, was not such a time. Not when he had gone to great lengths to leave her alone in his bed, the captain having spent the days of her recovery sleeping in a chair that was bolted to the floor next to large table that they often dined on. That discovery had come as quite a shock to Belle, the woman having spent the terse remainder of that first day awake, in a fitful state, worrying what would happen come night fall. 

Somehow, impossible though it seems, she had fallen into a restless slumber. A soft rumble of noise had jolted her out of a dreamless sleep, Belle finding the room dark save for a small lantern to the side of the bed. She had reached for that lantern, easing cautiously out of the bed. Through the curtain of beads she had passed, her free hand trying to stop the worst of their noisy click clacking. 

The soft rumble had continued, Belle realizing it was coming from by the table. The lantern's flame brought him to light, Hook sleeping tilted back in the chair, his feet propped up on the table, right on top of one of his many maps. That soft rumble of sound? It had been him snoring, Hook in a deep sleep that didn't look anywhere as comfortable as the bed would have allowed. 

Belle had been shocked, and downright flabbergasted, staring down at the sleeping pirate who had gone to great lengths to behave as a gentleman would. The first of her grudging gratitude had broken free, Belle relived and happy he had left her alone in the bed. Her relief over the situation would last only until the third night, Hook suddenly announcing Belle was well enough to share the bed. 

How the color had drained out of her face, Belle backing away from a smirking Captain Hook. She could remember stammering excuses, making some kind of protest how she wasn't that kind of woman. The pirate had let her babble on for an embarrassing length of time, before letting loose with a hearty laugh, 

How her cheeks had flamed in embarrassment, as the captain had explained he wasn't intending to have sex with her, though he was flattered by her interest. That last had made her scoff and scowl, Hook laughing even more. But he was a confidant man, and knew what he looked like, and Belle could admit to herself that if the situation had been different, if Hook hadn't been out to hurt her and Rumplestiltskin, she might have found him attractive. 

But she was lying. Regardless of the situation, Hook was a handsome man, attentive and fighting to keep her safe. More than that, he was interested in her, to the point he enjoyed teasing and pushing the boundaries between them. That included sharing the bed, Hook insisting Belle sleep in it besides him, rather than sleep by her lonesome on the window's comfortable sill. 

She was still in the process of getting used to the situation in the bed, Hook not at all shy about laying pressed against her back. He even went so far as to put an arm around her, keeping her from curling away from him in the middle of the night. Belle put up with all this with a sigh, and with the private worry that the day might come when Hook would want even more. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eh...iffy way to end the chapter perhaps? It was turning into the chapter that did not want to end. X_X It went into a kind of time skip of a few days...I wanted to settle them into a routine, and get the ship closer to the mainland...... 
> 
> I like and don't like this chapter....yeah I have been having conflicting feelings on chapters lately. 
> 
> BTW, Belle will get some real clothes eventually. *has a scene in mind.* Also I realized a big goof when rereading. See I had planned to have Tinkerbelle get involved sooner or later in the story, but today I realized she wouldn't be exiled yet.(Or even exist) So I'm thinking of putting Ariel in instead (This would be before Regina stole Ariel's voice.), so that she and Belle sneak a friendship on the side. XD (Ariel being like the one nice mermaid in Neverland! XD) 
> 
> I'm also really hoping to be able to introduce Peter Pan in the middle or by the end of next chapter. Of course there is the matter of my feeling stuck on how to START the damn chapter. Those damn opening lines! *shakes fist* But I think I will save the worrying about how to start the new chapter for tomorrow. For now I need to proofread and spell check, and then maybe I will game. (Dragon Age!) 
> 
> Oh yeah, I think tonight I realized what some of my stumbling block for this story has been at this point and time. It's the fact Belle has to tell Hook the history lessons she had learned as a child for the time period she's in, to tell him enough of a truth that he'll believe she's being honest. Basically I have to make up whatever history I do use, and I worry if I use fairy tales, then it messes with cannon if they show up on season four of the show. So I feel like I have to make up my own history from scratch. Which I'm all urgh about at the moment. 
> 
> Anyway, I'm glad I finally got past the conversation they kept trying to have for the last couple of chapters. i rather like it once it eases into the time skip paragraphs. 
> 
> \---Michelle


	11. Eleven

Most mornings since arriving in Neverland, Belle would find herself waking up to an empty bed, the captain an early riser who was often found pouring over maps, or browsing through one of the many encyclopedia sized books he had on magic. Those books were dog eared and tattered, Hook having gone through them with what had to have been a thousand times at least. And yet he never tired of the reading, endlessly searching for some clue, some vital piece of information he might have overlooked. 

It was his quest for power, for the one bit of magic that would be strong enough to kill his monster. The Dark One was Hook's obsession, his revenge the quest that kept him moving. It kept him alive, and it kept Hook energized, the pirate a bundle of determination and fire. It was different from the man she had briefly encountered in Storybrooke. Different from the rage filled, hate filled pirate who had been intent on chasing her down and hurting. The Hook she was getting to know was able to genuinely smile at her, actually laugh, and let his sea dark gaze fill with something other than malice and pain. 

Of course the pain was still there. The loss of the woman that the pirate had loved, had affected Hook deeply, and the pain still seeped into his expression at the oddest of times. It happened several times during the course of each day, and the pain could come at any time, even when he was in the midst of laughing, teasing Belle with his words and innuendos. She could never understand why the pain would come, or what thought of his had brought it on. Hook was a very private man when it came to his thoughts, his pain and his past, the pirate seeming loathe to share much of anything about himself though he insisted on knowing everything about Belle. 

She kind of resented this unfair exchange he demanded. It wasn't so much that Belle was eager to learn everything there was to making the pirate Hook tick, but the fact that the woman had secrets of her own to keep. Secrets that could very much get her killed, and at his hand, should Hook ever learn the truth about Belle and her connection to Rumplestiltskin. 

Of course she'd never willingly admit to even knowing Rumplestiltskin, let alone that she had had some kind of intimate relationship with him. But her determination to keep quiet, to guard her secrets, didn't stop Belle from worrying. Those worries manifested most often in dreams, Belle restless, the worst case scenarios playing out as the charming pirate of Neverland, became the murder minded Hook of Storybrooke. 

Her inability to rest peacefully wasn't lost on Hook. But then how could it be, when they shared such close quarters? When they shared so much, and that included the bed, Hook maintaining his insistence that she remain asleep besides him. Such a firm insistence gave him the reason to be intimately aware of Belle's difficulties at resting. Her every toss and turn was felt by him, Hook often putting his arms around her, not just to comfort her, but to stop her movements. It didn't always work, Belle's troubled mind leading to her body's inability to remain still for long periods of time. She worried and had nightmares, Belle fearing the truth, and what would happen should it ever be spoken out loud. 

It wasn't just her secrets that she feared the reveal of. Belle had this complex relationship with the nature of Hook's, the woman wanting to know all but frightened of the truth. Terrified of how much more her feelings would twist, how much worse she would feel if Belle were to learn the true extent of Rumplestiltskin's murderous misdeeds. Her heart was only so strong, and it felt as though it could only take so much before it would irreparably break. Already disillusioned and disturbed by what she now knew, Belle wondered how long it would take before her feelings of stupidity where Rumplestiltskin had been concerned, would turn to something else. Something dark and sinister, and hurtful in a different way. Something that wasn't quite hate, but wasn't love either, Belle wondering when regret would become resentment. 

It might have been easier if she had remained in Storybrooke where she could have talked things out with Rumplestiltskin. Maybe then her doubts and fears would have loosened their strong grip, Rumplestiltskin able to reassure her, and reaffirm the feelings he had, and the goodness she had always clung so stubbornly to the belief of. And maybe if she had been able to look into his eyes, and see genuine regret for the things he had done, the sins he had committed against his own wife, maybe she would have been able to still believe. In him, in his goodness, and in the love Bellle had thought they had shared. 

That love, so battered and bruised, felt doubt for the first time in what felt like ages. Not since that first time, that first taste of true love's kiss rejected, had Belle allowed doubt to creep into her heart. She hadn't let doubt poison her love or her image of Rumplestiltskin since, Belle having been faithful and strong in her beliefs, determined to save him, and to see the good she had always been sure he was capable of. But now? The good had become harder to see, Belle struggling, and there was nothing to pull her safely out the mire of her doubt. She felt defeated, something few if any had ever been able to make her feel, and that included attempts by the Evil Queen. 

But it wasn't the pirate who was truly at fault. Yes, Hook had been the catalyst for the secret's reveal, but it was by Rumplestiltskin own hand, that the blood had been spilled. It was because of his actions, because of his crime, that Belle was in turmoil. Her mind turning endlessly, refusing to truly retreat from the worries she had, the heart break she was suffering. Belle dreamt often, horrible dreams, nightmares of Rumplestiltskin's kill, and complex scenarios where she confronted the man, and raged at him for being a monster. For lying to her, for tricking her, for making her forget what she had seen, and for letting Belle nurture her own blind ignorance that had allowed her to overlook and excuse so much. 

Her once unshakeable faith had been destroyed, Belle finding fault in herself for her own part in Rumplestiltskin's seduction. She had believed in him, had painted him up to be something more, some tragic figure that had needed saving. And just as she had done that, she now went down the darker path, so close to believing the worst of him when once she had believed in nothing but the good. 

It seemed there was no real middle ground, Belle unable to see in shades of gray where Rumplestiltskin was concerned. He was either the cursed hero of her fantasies, or the alarming villain of her worst nightmares. And Belle had had enough of both to last her several lifetimes, the woman no longer wanting to dream. Of him, or of anything much for that matter. She had in fact been crushed, her whimsical heart hurting, Belle no longer able to even try to make excuses to herself. 

It left her on guard, Belle determined to not let the mistakes of her own past happen again, the woman unable, unwilling to trust. Not even the man who risked so much for her now, Belle letting some resentments form there, Hook both her savior and the man who had ruined her life. And because he was both, Belle was confused, the woman alternatively wishing he had never come to Storybrooke, yet oddly glad he had. Likely the truth would never have come out otherwise, though there was a part of her that wished it had remained hidden. 

Belle was very much conflicted, her turmoil turning her into one confused young woman. Her mind craved resolution, and with Hook keeping quiet, and Rumplestiltskin so far from her, Belle couldn't help but run the gamut of negative emotion. Her sadness, her anger, her guilt, and especially her fear? All weighed her down, all left Belle burdened, with no one around she could trust her true sorrow to. 

Her upset feelings weren't going unnoticed, Hook, Smee, and even the Doctor knowing that she was depressed. Quick to buy into her claims that she was homesick and fearing she would never see Storybrooke ever again, Smee and the Doctor, and even Hook did their best to try and break her of her sadness. Most days they weren't successful, and on those rare days when her blue mood broke, Belle still wasn't able to be truly happy. 

It wasn't really their fault. Not even Hook's, who had shattered her world. Belle blamed herself for willfully turning a blind eye to so much, for needing a pirate to come show her the truths she had been hiding from. She wasn't exactly swelling with gratitude towards Hook, her feelings for him just as complex, just as confusing as her feelings for Rumplestiltskin were. 

The sleeping arrangements didn't help. The arms that held and comforted her, could just as easily become vicious, Hook hurting rather than helping Belle. And all it would take was the wrong word whispered, some random babbling in her sleep, as she confronted Rumplestiltskin in her nightmares. That all too real fear, the fear that she would betray her secrets by talking in her sleep? It only helped to further her distress and worry, leading to more restless nights, and even more vivid scenarios of the bad things that could happen should she speak where Hook could listen. 

That particular worry had gotten her to again try to sleep on the window's comfortable sill. Outright refusing hadn't worked, Hook overruling her protests with his insistence that she spend the nights in his bed. She had resorted to a different tactic last night, pretending to fall asleep at the window long before the normal times of bed. Belle had thought it was going to work, but when the time came, Hook had simply lifted her up, and carried her to the bed. Had actually tucked her still pretending to be asleep self under the covers. But he hadn't called her out on the deception, not even when she let out an exasperated sigh immediately after he had curled up behind her. 

Even with her frustrations at just about everything, Belle had still managed to fall asleep. She had her usual nightmares and arguments, shouting at Rumplestiltskin one minute, seeing what she assumed was Milah getting her heart crushed the next. Hook's arms around her stilled the worst of her restless shifting, but Belle never truly slipped into a sleep that was refreshing. It left her feeling haggard in the morning, Belle delaying leaving the bed, even after Smee had filled the room with the delicious smells of breakfast. 

She wasn't sleeping, but she was keeping her eyes closed. She lay on her side, burrowing deeper under the covers, for mornings on the Never Sea were usually just cold enough to feel it's unpleasant bite, Belle shivering despite the velvet blanket over her. Hook wasn't rushing her to breakfast, his concern over her sleep habits making him want to let her sleep in. He might even take breakfast without her, but that was one thing that Belle wouldn't let him do. She simply craved the company too much, and the conversations they could have. If she let Hook leave without speaking with him, it would be hours before Smee or the Doctor would come with lunch. Which meant it would be hours upon hours of being alone, with nothing more to do than either read or endlessly think her upsetting thoughts. 

Most times her thoughts won out over reading, Belle simply unable to concentrate on the words before her, with such worries rattling around in her brain. It wasn't quite the curse it would seem, the reading material on the ship limited to what was found in Hook's cabin. Those books weren't many, the bulk of them either the thick tomes of magic and treasure that Hook used for his research, or the odd selection of cheap novels. Books of adventure and fantasy, and a good dash of romance. They didn't seem like the type of books Hook would be drawn to, which led Belle to wonder if they had belonged to her, to Milah, but then she wasn't even sure if the woman had been able to read. 

Reading was just one of the things Belle had wondered about Milah. She didn't even know what the woman actually looked like, or what she had been like, Hook not one to share much of anything, let alone open up on a topic that STILL caused him some measure of pain. Smee wasn't much help there either, the man only having met Milah only briefly. The doctor was the most likely to talk, but though Connor enjoyed gossiping and complaining about the pirates, he too had had only limited exposure to the woman, having spied only a quick look from a distance before being thrown into the ship's brig. By the time Connor had caved to the pirates' wishes to be their doctor, Milah had already been dead. 

It had been the doctor, who under strict supervision, had attached the silver hook that had become the pirate's left hand. It was an act Connor often regretted, the man confiding in Belle more times than she could count, how he would have gladly let Hook bleed to death if he had known just where the pirate captain would take them. Connor wasn't happy about being in Neverland, nor being in the company of pirates, and he let Belle know in no uncertain terms that she should be unhappy about it too. 

In a way, she kind of was. She certainly didn't like being among pirates, or the dangers being the only woman around posed to her. But the so called dangers of Neverland didn't seem real to her, Belle more concerned about Hook and his revenge, and getting home. She had no idea how she was going to manage to return to Storybrooke, and a part of her wasn't eager to leave. And not simply because she was still hungering for explicit details of a story only half told, but because Belle wasn't sure how she could face Rumplestiltskin with her heart in turmoil, and her feelings for him so damaged. 

She dreaded the confrontation, feared Rumplestiltskin's reactions and her own feelings. Her hurt so near to the surface could lead her to say horrible things, sentiments voiced that could never be taken back. The idea of the fight they could have, of the things that might be said was more than she was wanting to think about, Belle stifling a moan with the thought that it was too early and thus too soon to be worrying like this. Especially about things she couldn't yet do, might not even ever get the chance to. 

Her thoughts weren't as easily stifled as the moan had been, Belle sighing and rolling onto her back. Her shoulder while still sore at times, had been healing nicely, though there was still some stiffness and a lot of care needing to be exerted lest she hurt herself further. Belle knew if she had been in the present, in Storybrooke, physical therapy would have most likely been recommended. Her options for such was severely limited here in the cabin, Belle trying not to exert herself too much with any lifting heavier than the books that she half heartedly perused. 

The books couldn't cheer her OR distract her, and Belle wasn't looking forward to spending another day lost in her thoughts and worries. She tried to vanquish them from her mind, concentrating instead on the smells and sounds found in the cabin. The pillows and sheets that held Hook's clean, masculine scent, that by now had changed enough to hold a fainter trace of Belle's own. The many delicious aromas of the breakfast Smee had prepared, the fried fish and the peppermint of the tea. The flip of the pages as Hook once again went through one of his books, muttering to himself too softly for Belle to actually make out more than one word. The gentle lap of the waves as they slapped against the ship's sides, and the Jolly Roger itself moaning as it settled deeper in the water. And finally, the shrill cry of the birds, what sounds like sea gulls calling to each other, and suddenly Belle was shooting out of bed, not because the birds were that loud but simply because they were THERE. 

The beads click clacked noisily, disturbed by Belle all but running from the alcove. She caught sight of Hook looking up from his book, but her attention was all for the window. For the sight she might see. Belle climbed onto the sill, already pulling open the latch, then leaned out as far as she dared. The sky above the ship held three white sea gulls, the birds flying in lazy circles over the ship's main mast. Belle instantly knew what this meant, the birds having appeared because the ship was finally close enough to land. But with the thick morning fog in the distance, Belle couldn't actually see the main land that had to be looming closer with every inch sailed by the ship. 

The fact that they were near the main land didn't mean much to Belle, aside from the fact it would give her something to look at besides the endless blue of the sea. Certainly Belle wasn't expecting something to change now that land was almost in sight. She wasn't expecting to be allowed to leave the room, or for anything more exciting to happen. And yet she was excited all the same, Belle wondering what the main land looked like, and if it would keep her distracted long enough to manage a break from the near constant worrying. 

"Lean out as far as you like..." Hook's voice, as well as his hand on her hip, drew Belle back into the cabin. "But unless you sprout wings, you'll still be having to wait to see the main land." 

She turned to him while scooting out from under his hand's touch. "How much longer a wait?" 

"I'd say about half a day's sailing if conditions remain as peaceful as they are." answered Hook. 

"And if they don't?" 

"Don't worry." Hook smiled at her. "There be a fog, but it's merely morning mist. I doubt it'll storm before we reach the main land." 

"Reach it? You mean we are not just going to sail on by?" Belle asked, surprised. 

"Much as I would like to do just that...we'll be needing to go to ground if we're wanting supplies." Hook told her. 

"Supplies?" 

"The sea can provide only so much, and my men are sick of the all fish diet we've been subsisting on these past few days." Hook explained. "They're needing to do some hunting, and the sport of it will work off some of the energy they've been penting up since you're arrival some two weeks ago." 

"Two weeks...." Belle murmured. "I hadn't realized so much time had passed." 

"It's fine." Hook reassured her. "It's easy to lose track in Neverland. And it's not as though you've had much to do, stuck in the cabin as you have been." 

She tried to make it sound better than it had been. "It's all right. It's not as though there would have been much for me to do on deck...." 

"Not with that shoulder, and those weak arms of yours." Hook said in a teasing manner. Belle made a sound in protest, lightly smacking her hand against his arm. 

"They're not that weak!" She exclaimed. "I've had to get strong to lift and carry so many books around!" 

"You still be lacking the muscles of the scrawniest of my deck hands." Hook answered her, and caught at her wrist. His fingers paused on her suddenly surging pulse, and then began sliding upwards, feeling up her arm. He seemed to be accessing just how much muscle she really had, and once assured of the lack, Hook nodded. "Truth be I'm glad." 

"And why is that?" Belle wondered, pulling free of his hand. 

"Ah that's right. You don't know just how muscular even the scrawniest of my crew is!" Hook chuckled. "It'd be a terrible sight to see arms as slender as these, suddenly pumped full of the type of muscles Estavan prides himself on." 

"Are they really that big?" 

"Big and uneven for a man as thin as Estavan's body be wanting to be! He's at odd with himself, that one. Wanting to be something his body is not. Works hard at it too, though I'm afraid he's not good for much. He's too clumsy to be adept as a sword fighter, and his stamina just means he can take a beating for longer." 

"He's loyal though not anywhere as much as Smee is." Hook continued. "Not that I would be worrying much about him in a fight. Estavan's simply no match for me." 

"I suspect none of your crew is, or you wouldn't still be the captain." Belle said it with a knowing shiver. 

"I've had to be tougher, and more skilled, it's true. But I've also been lucky more times than I care to recall. And though I have many wins, all it takes is one loss to mean the end for me." Hook stated this in a matter of fact tone. 

"Captain, believe me when I say I hope you never lose then." She was sincere and shivering, Belle hardly wanting to think what would happen to her if for some reason, Hook was defeated by his treacherous crew. 

He nodded, but there was no need for him to remind her what would happen to Belle, should a new captain take over the Jolly Roger pirates. They both already knew, and there was no purpose served in worrying over what might or might not happen in that regard. 

It was still easier said then done, Belle knowing the worst of her fears in that regard were when she heard the fighting on deck. When she saw Hook walk in, angry and bloodied, her body holding a tension that wasn't relieved until she could see with her own eyes that the captain was unharmed. 

It bonded Belle to him, made her dependant and grateful in the same breath. She didn't always like Hook, but she appreciated him for what he was doing. For what he continued to do for her, even when the easier path would have been to dump her somewhere, or worse yet hand her over to his crew. Belle could only hope for a quick death if that were to ever happen, for the abuse she imagined would happen was truly bone chilling to contemplate. 

"Come." Hook said, trying to draw Belle out of her thoughts. "Smee's had breakfast on the table for the better part of the morning. He'll be offended if you don't eat at least some of it." 

"Can't have that. Who will play cards with me if he's mad?" Belle asked, and followed Hook over to the table. The fried fish had already cooled considerably, and she could see Hook had already eaten a fair potion off his own plate. The book he had been reading, lay on the table, open to a random page that had many notes scrawled about every bit of space. 

"Find anything of use?" Belle lowered herself into a chair, curious as to how Hook's research was going. 

"I'm afraid not..." Hook sighed, and ran his fingers through his hair in a frustrated manner of exasperation. "I keep searching the same paragraphs, hoping for a miracle." 

"But so far nothing?" 

"Nothing." Hook glumly concluded. "But there's still plenty of magic to be had in this realm. I just need to find it..." 

"I'm sure you will....but..but what if the magic of Neverland is not enough? What if you need more?" 

"It's not a thought I want to be considering." Hook admitted. "I've devoted so much time and energy, lost so many of my crew....I have to believe it wasn't all a waste. I have to believe I'll find what I need, and that the Dark One will be destroyed by my hand." 

Belle busied herself with the tasting of the fish, so that she wouldn't have to feign sincerity and wish Hook well in this revenge fueled endeavor of his. The fish was flavorful, some blue spotted flounder that had been breaded with crumbs to add to it's already delicious taste. It was good, and Smee had out done himself, though even Belle could admit to looking forward to a change in menu that reaching the mainland would bring. 

She was also curious about the mainland, about what it was like, what sort of sights there was, what kind of wildlife roamed the island. She asked Hook about it, which earned her a shake of his head, Hook stressing once again how dangerous a realm Neverland was. 

"But dangerous how?" Belle asked perplexed. 

"It's more you should be asking how ISN"T it dangerous." Hook told her. "Even the plants can be deadly, and not just for the toxins of many of their kind. Some of them are hungry things, and have the teeth needed to tear into a man's flesh." 

"You mean....they EAT humans?!" Belle squeaked out in horror. 

"Humans and anything else they can get their leafy mouths on!" Hook said. "Belle, these are not all little flowers, but great big things, with huge gaping maws and stomachs to match. Others are having what we refer to as strangle vines, quick to wrap and choke the life out of anything in their reach." 

"Is that how you lost so much of your crew?" Belle wondered, shivering. "To the horror of the mainland." 

"A fair share. Although..." Hook admitted. "A quarter or more was lost to the fighting between us. My men aren't very happy to be here, and even more hate the fact that here is where we will stay until I have what I need." 

"And I'm sure my presence here doesn't help things." Belle pointed out. 

"Aye, you make a tense situation more difficult. I won't be surprised if my crew dwindles down to next to nothing in the coming months." He sighed. "I don't like the killing, but needs necessitate it. I can't turn back, and I can't let my men...have their way where you are concerned." 

"Thank you." Belle said, but Hook gruffly shook off her gratitude. 

"I'm just doing right by you." 

"it can't be easy....." 

"Why?" He challenged. "Because I'm a pirate?" 

"Because it would be difficult to maintain order no matter who or what you are in this kind of situation." Belle told him. Her lips quirked in a teasing manner. "Even a gentleman would struggle." 

"That he would." Hook agreed. "But I am more than a gentleman, and more than a pirate. I'm determined and ruthless, and aiming to succeed." 

"With those qualities, I don't see how your men can think you would fail." replied Belle. 

"They're not the brightest crew I've sailed with." Hook told her with a chuckle. "Most can't see past their need to leave this place, to even wonder HOW they would manage such a thing without me." 

"How WOULD you leave?" Belle wondered out loud. 

"That's not something you need be worrying about." 

"You don't trust me on this." Belle said, hurt. 

"I don't trust ANYONE with this." Hook retorted. "It's a stupid captain that doesn't guard at least a few secrets, and I'll not have anyone saying Captain Hook was that dumb." 

"You risk trapping us all in Neverland permanently, should...something happen to you." Belle pointed out. 

"I'm ruthless enough that it's a risk I willingly take." Hook retorted, and abruptly stood up from the table. 

"You're going already?" Belle asked when she saw him take a step towards the cabin's door. 

"There's work to be done, and I've delayed the start to my day for long enough." answered Hook. 

"I..." Belle felt a pang of loneliness hitting her, the woman knowing she most likely wouldn't see the captain again until evening. "Be careful..." 

"There's no need to worry. My men are so eager for the upcoming hunt, they've little time to think about anything else." And with that he was gone, Hook leaving Belle alone in the cabin. The fish sat on her plate, mostly uneaten, the woman pushing at it absentmindedly with her fork. She thought about what Hook had said, about the dangers of Neverland, and about his crew. She thought about these things, as unpleasant as they were, to stave off the return of her familiar fears and worries but the thoughts loomed in an oppressive cloud around her. She sighed, and pushed away from the table, drifting over to the book shelf, to see what if anything would interest her. 

Her fingers would brush over the worn spines of the books, Belle looking at the titles that were unfamiliar and did little to grab her interest. Instead her gaze began to wander toward the book Hook had left on the table, that fat tome of magic and treasure, and years of research. Her curious nature had Belle wanting to see just how far along Hook was in his quest for revenge, but also had her wondering if the book could tell her even more about Neverland and it's dangers. 

Abruptly decided, Belle walked back to the table. The book lay open, tattered red strips of paper marking various pages. She picked up the heavy book, and was already flipping through the pages when an oppressive, ominous feel took to the air. Belle didn't immediately look up, though she froze at the shouts. The noise made her think Hook had been wrong, that his men hadn't found the idea of a hunt exciting enough to distract them from their attempts to mutiny but then she realized there was a different kind of feel to the yelling. 

Belle started to look up from the book, started to consider opening the door, when she became aware that she wasn't alone in the room. The hair on her neck pricked in unease, Belle turning slowly, not sure what, who she was expecting to see. Rumplestiltskin come to save her? Or someone else entirely. 

Certainly she hadn't been expecting the boy, a young teen of perhaps fifteen or sixteen years of age. He had sandy colored hair, and a piercing gaze that looked Belle over from head to toe. There was no curiosity to that gaze, and the slight curl of his lips hinted at his scowl. Belle stared at him in surprise, and that was before she realized there was a limited range of explanations for how he had come to crawl in through the window. 

"Y...you..." Belle stammered, noting he wasn't at all wet. That ruled out swimming, but then the idea of him coming from the sea had never truly entered her mind as a real possibility. She supposed he could be a deck hand, but then he didn't have enough muscles to fit the description of even the scrawniest of Hook's crew. Which meant he probably hadn't climbed down from the deck. But the only other option was to have flown, and Belle wasn't ready to believe in a boy without fairy wings being able to fly. 

"So you're what all the fuss is about." 

Belle blinked, taken aback by both his words and his voice. A voice that didn't belong to a child, sounding much older, much wiser than his physical appearance hinted at. The voice matched the look in his eyes, the boy sneering at her. 

"P...pardon?" Belle managed to say. 

"There's been talk about you for weeks." He continued, and lightly stepped off the sill and into the cabin. Belle stood rooted in the spot, watching him warily as he began walking about the room. He didn't immediately go to her, instead looking as though he was exploring the cabin for the first time ever. 

"Talk about me?" Belle blinked, then frowned. "Who has been talking about me? The pirates?" 

"Pirates." The boy scoffed. "A bunch of tired old men who lust for more than gold. No...I don't talk to them. They've little to say that would interest me, and I have even less use for that captain of theirs." 

"If not the pirates then who..." 

"Who do you think?" His disdainful glance was aimed her way. "The hungry sirens of the sea. The mermaids." 

"The mermaids!" 

"Such fiercely proud fish. So possessive of what's theirs." He said. "But then so is the captain I hear." 

"What are you talking about?!" Belle demanded, putting her one hand on her hip in her best bluff of anger in the face of her fright. "And just WHO are you?!" 

"Pan." The boy said, and took a menacing step towards her. "I'm Peter Pan. And I'm more than decided that it would be a good idea to give the mermaids back what they lost." 

She didn't want to, but Belle still took a step back for every step forward Peter Pan took. "Stay...stay back, or I'll...." 

"Scream?" He asked. "Go ahead. It won't..." 

Whatever Peter Pan was about to say was interrupted by the fat tome of Hook's being thrown at him, Belle's aim true as the book connected squarely with the boy's face. Wonder of wonders, the boy hadn't been expecting her to fight, and Belle didn't pause to catch sight of the look on his face. She was already running for the cabin's door, wrenching it open, eternally grateful that Hook had never seen fit to actually lock the door behind him. 

At it's opening, the sound from the deck grew louder, the shouts of men AND boys mingling, swords clanging, people swinging from ropes, some actually FLYING. Belle skidded to a halt, her jaw dropping open in shock even as she scanned the deck, trying to find a familiar face. Not many took to noticing her, but the ones that did, seemed to do a double take, men and boys staring at her, and Hook was nowhere in sight to shield her from their stares. 

The fighting, already earnest, became an all out free for all, men turning on each other, fighting their own ship mates and the boys in an attempt to get to Belle first. She paled and panicked, and began to back into the cabin, when she felt the point of a very sharp dagger digging into her back. 

"Feed for the mermaids or for the pirates?" She heard Pan laugh in her ear. "Which would be crueler I wonder?" 

Belle was almost ready to take her chances with the mermaids, sure whatever those she creatures of the deep wanted, couldn't possibly be as bad as what the pirates would want. But she couldn't speak, couldn't even muster up a voice to scream with, let alone whisper. She could only stand there shaking, her knees practically knocking together as Pan held her hostage, waiting for something. 

He apparently got it, an angry voice screaming his name. Belle couldn't even turn to look, standing frozen on the spot, but her heart leapt to her throat as she recognized Hook's accented voice. The fighting faded to a dull roar, the dagger brought to her throat as Pan began a mocking laugh in her ear. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Be Continued....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger I know...this freaking turned into the chapter that did not want to end. I also had a hard time getting it started, and it got long partly cause it took forever to actually get to a dialogue, and out of Belle's thought patterns. X_X 
> 
> I like this chapter, though I feel kind of frustrated, cause some of the conversation topics I thought of, I couldn't work in. But I intend to try them a later time. By the way, does anyone know the correct spelling of the yowegai...you know the monster that Phillip was cursed into..the one Belle and Mulan met during the hunt for? 
> 
> I also want to thank you guys and gals for the reviews. It drew me back into this fic, when I attempted to work on a different one after finishing ten! XD 
> 
> \------Michelle


	12. Twelve

Captain Hook's angry shout came again from a distance, but Belle dared not turn, the dagger at her throat a gruesome incentive for her obedience. She held herself absolutely still, not daring to so much as to breathe too deeply, the serrated edges of the dagger sharply kissing her throat as all the while the boy continued to laugh in her ear. To hear a sound that was so mocking, so nasty, so twistedly evil actually chilled her, Belle understanding that Peter Pan was not merely a boy, he was also criminally insane. 

He HAD to be, giving he was threatening what amounted to an innocent woman. Belle didn't understand why he seemed to hate her on sight, or why he would relish the idea of her mistreatment at the hands of the pirates and the mermaids. She certainly had no idea why else the boy would be so quick to threaten her with his dagger, but the woman didn't think for one minute that Pan was bluffing in this. He meant to hurt, possibly kill her, and Belle didn't think she'd get the chance to talk her way out of this one. 

Imagining her death or worse was imminent, Belle closed her eyes and tried her best not to shake any further. Her senses only heightened with her fear, Belle hearing the sounds of the fighting magnified. The screams of the injured, the shouts of the angry, the determined clang of metal against metal, men fighting men with a renewed purpose. Their determination wasn't lost on the boy who threatened her, Pan smug and mocking. 

"How does it feel to be so wanted?" He wondered. She could practically hear the smirk in his voice, and Belle actually felt his breath on her skin, as Peter Pan's lips caressed over her ear. "They fight now for you. For something they think is more valuable than gold." 

Belle desperately wanted to jerk away, her skin feeling as though it was actually crawling. Every word Pan spoke was whispered huskily into her ear, his lips maintaining their caress, sickening her with disgust at their nearness. She wanted to move, to run, but the dagger kept her still, it's threat laying sharply on her skin, with Pan pressing Belle against his front. He had her trapped, and they both knew it, Belle a captive to his every word. And Pan apparently had a lot to say, though none of it was anything that Belle wanted to hear. 

"They're fools. Ready to throw their lives away, ready to kill and be killed. And all for what? For something that will destroy them? For something they'll ruin before the day is through?" Pan breathed into her ear. "The mermaids may well have to soothe themselves with whatever is left when the pirates are through." 

Belle made a noise, a sound that was a mix of disgust and anger and yes fear was there too. If the dagger wasn't at her throat, if she wasn't limited in what she could do, Belle would have punched him. Her body vibrated with violent energy, Belle's fingers curling, turning both hands into fists that were currently helpless to do much more. 

"Do you want to hit me?" Pan asked with a laugh. "But it's not me you should blame. You're not something that is meant for this land....you're something alien and unwanted and ever so unimportant. You simply don't belong here, and that is never going to change." 

"It might be a mercy to kill you." Pan continued, in a musing tone. "It certainly would be kinder than what the pirates AND the mermaids want. But, and this is important, I am never that generous." Belle made another sound, something that might have been as angry a scoff as she dared take given the dagger at her throat. "Oh? You have something to say? By all means..." The dagger didn't lower, but it stopped pressing so harshly into her throat. "Beg for it." 

"Beg for what?" Belle demanded, in a tone that was slightly breathless. "For my life, for your mercy? When you have none to give? I'd sooner rather..." 

"Rather what?" A sharp interruption, the scowl heard in his voice. "Be sure and tell me only if you're sure you want it to happen." He made an approving sound at her sudden silence. "That's right....you shouldn't be trying to make an enemy out of me." 

"Then what should I be doing?!" demanded Belle. 

"What indeed." Pan murmured in a thoughtful tone. "I've no real use for something that doesn't belong in this realm. And yet..." Hook's shout was closer now, Pan shifting both himself and Belle to face that direction. "There may be something you can do for me after all..." 

"I'll do nothing." Belle retorted, trying to be both brave and defiant. 

"So you say." Pan hardly seem bothered by that. "And yet you're already doing it, aren't you?" A dark chuckle in her ear, the dagger again touching her throat, and now with just enough bite to bleed her skin. She felt the trickle of it, the blood inching it's slow, languid way down past the blade. 

"Red and real." He said. "Both something to fight for. But who wants what more? The pirates or the mermaids? And which benefits me the most?" 

She made a strangle sound, the slow trickle of blood slipping into the collar of her borrowed shirt. She could feel it's thin trail seeping lower yet, staining a path between her covered breasts. It wasn't enough blood spilled to kill her, and yet Belle was frightened all the same. Made that way by how helpless she felt, by how threatened Pan and the pirates and even the mermaids made her feel. 

It was a terrible feeling that blanketed her, something very much like despair forming a scream that was lodged firmly in her throat. Belle wanted to give voice to it, but more than that, she wanted to let go, to free herself of the terrible feelings washing over her, and fight for all she was worth. The scream which had begun in fear, turned angry, Belle wanting to throttle Pan within an inch of his young life, the dagger at her throat be damned. She started to step back, his body a firm solid mass behind her that didn't allow Belle nearly enough room to maneuver. But before she could do more than press her body against his, the dagger was shoved against her, Pan letting out a chiding sound that could have been for Belle, but could have also been for Hook. Because the pirate had almost reached them, and another boy, one a few inches taller than Pan had landed between them and Hook. 

The boy, dressed in a loose tunic that was colored so dark a gray it was almost black, held a crude looking weapon in his hand. Mostly a sturdy length of tree, a staff as long as the boy was tall, it had metal at both ends. That metal was sharpened to two deadly points, though they weren't at play at the moment. Instead it was the wood, the center of the staff welcoming Hook's sword. The pirate's blade nicked into the wood, but did not split it, and though the boy took a staggered step back, he also pushed out with his lean arms, the staff shoving both the sword and the pirate back a step. 

"I've no time for your games!" Hook snarled, his white teeth flashing, lips pulled back to give the pirate a feral appearance. 

"And yet you'll play them all the same!" The boy with the staff answered, his laugh impressive for it nearly rivaled Peter Pan's in the way it chilled and repulsed Belle. 

Hook's answer was a growl, a low sound of frustrated fury, as he violently brought his sword slicing through the air. Where staff blocked the sword, his hook took a small victory, a cheek slashing open in a violent spray of red. 

Belle couldn't help but flinch at the sight of this, because murderous or not, that was still a boy Hook fought and her mind couldn't wrap around the idea of hurting a child. Even one who scowled with the red ruin of his cheek dripping blood everywhere, the boy cursing in a way that would have impressed even the saltiest of pirates. 

"Leave now, and you'll only have that one scar to show for your troubles!" Hook told him, his sword already twirling, jabbing experimentally to the boy's right side. 

The staff just barely blocked the sword from tearing it's tip into the boy's hip. "It's a generous offer captain! But I much rather leave with your head on my stick!" 

"Can't oblige you in that, boy! I'm fairly attached to it at the moment." 

"You won't be for long!" The boy screamed, and abandoned his defense, to take a wild swing at Hook's throat. Belle couldn't stop the scream that issued out of her, but the sharp point of the staff never reached it's mark. The pirate had jumped back at the last possible second, the staff's point slicing harmlessly through the air. The boy, already enraged by what had been done to his cheek, became senseless in his fury, rushing Hook with wild swings that had the pirate working to parry both ends of the staff. 

"Time to cool off, Felix!" Hook announced, and caught the boy by the back of his tunic. The double bladed staff still swung wildly, even as the pirate dragged the boy with his hook to the rail of the ship. The boy was still screaming, obscenities coloring the air around him, when Hook tossed him over the rail. 

There was a loud splash of water, but the pirate didn't have time to revel in his victory. Someone else was attacking, and this time it was no boy, but a man of a size and shape equal to Hook's. Belle saw the pirate scowl, his hook blocking the traitorous blade of one of Hook's own crew. 

"What wonderful chaos." Pan murmured in Belle's ear. The dagger lightened it's touch on her throat, the boy giving Belle room to speak. 

"It's awful!" She countered, and couldn't stop the shudder that went through her. There was blood everywhere, and not just from Hook's sword. There were bodies on the deck, men AND boys laying injured and even dying. Puddles of blood spread out beneath some of the bodies, staining the wood of the deck with it and someone's entrails. No one was stopping to check on the ones that were hurt, they were too busy fighting, and it seemed every pirate was out for himself at this point. 

"There hasn't been a blood bath of this kind in YEARS." Pan told her. "The mermaids will be pleased by this offering you give them." 

"I give them?!" Belle retorted, confused. 

"They fight for you." Pan pointed out. "Everyone who is hurt, who bleeds, who dies. They do so because of you. To keep you away, or to get you. Every life lost is yours.." 

"No. No you're wrong." Belle argued. "I didn't, I would never ask for this." 

"You're the one who is wrong!" Pan snapped back. "Why do you think we came here today? Why do you think the lost boys fight?" 

"No...." 

"Yes. But it's all right. The loss of their lives don't matter much." 

"How can you say that?!" Belle demanded. "They're just boys." 

"And they were lost long before you set foot in this realm!" Pan countered. "And I can get more. There's always more boys to be found, but pirates not so much." She thought she could hear the smirk in his voice now. "They are going to tear each other apart over you...each other and him. It's more than enough reason to let you live." A short harsh laugh. "For now at any rate." 

The dagger was eased away from her throat completely, Peter Pan laughing. "You can't help but do what I want! Your very presence here guarantees it!" 

A whoosh of air was felt behind her, rustling the ends of the shirt, and her hair. Belle whipped around, in time to see a maliciously grinning Pan shooting up higher into the air, her reactions just a little too slow to land the punch that she had been wanting to give him. She still glared and scowled at him with false bravado, her heart beating wildly with her excited fear. 

Pan met her eyes and gave a mocking sort of nod, then put two fingers to his mouth. An ear piercing whistle rang out, the lost boys abruptly abandoning the fight, and their injured brothers. The group took to the sky with Peter Pan, and their laughter echoed behind them as they made for the mainland. Trailing a few leagues behind, was a soaked Felix, whose murderous gaze was lost on all but Belle, the pirates too busy fighting Hook and each other. 

Shivering, Belle hardly dared turn to look, her gaze on Pan and his band of boys until they were nothing more than specks in the sky. The sight on the deck wasn't so easily vanquished, Belle finally looking, able to focus more thoroughly on the carnage around her, now that the threat of the dagger against her throat was gone. And what she saw was truly horrific, and made all the more horrible by the fact that among the injured and dying, were the stricken bodies of children. 

Belle almost couldn't see past her horror to be aware of much of anything else, her awareness trying to tunnel in on itself. She didn't know what to do, what to say, if it would be safer to remain here, or safer to go lock herself inside Hook's cabin. She did neither, standing there in an almost stupid state of stricken horror, and then the pirate grabbed hold of her. His foul breath blew hotly in her face, the yellowed teeth showing as he grinned wickedly at her. His right hand gripped an iron hold on her arm, the pirate starting to pull her against him, his left hand still holding his sword. A sword he was using to fend off another pirate, that one looking furious over Belle's nearness to the first one. The foul breathed pirate leaned in to smell Belle's hair, continuing to laugh as he fought with the second. 

Belle didn't waste her time on protests, didn't try to reason, and save for her first initial shriek of revulsion, didn't bother to scream. Instead she fought, twisting to get away, flailing her free arm to land a punch to the pirate's nose. She heard him scream, and then scream a second time as the other pirate plunged his sword into the first one's chest. She was still fighting, when the second one pulled her free, and into his arms, his free hand gripping her ass under the shirt, while his lips puckered for a kiss. 

Belle couldn't believe he was trying to kiss her, in the middle of a fight to the death brawl. Her hand moved, slapping him resoundingly across the face, seeing the spike of anger in his eyes as he shoved her to the ground. 

"Captain!" That was all the warning anyone got, Smee's voice screaming out to be heard over the sounds of the battle and shouts. Only seconds after, did the ship bank a hard right, the Jolly Roger groaning in protest, as it was sent nearly tipping over. Belle slid across the deck, and hit the railing's base, but others weren't so lucky. Any standing who hadn't reacted in time, were sent pitching forward over the rail, right into the water. 

Belle didn't even try to count the splashes, or listen to the panicked screams. She stayed sitting on the deck, even as the ship slowed, and her eyes looked around. She nearly started screaming, when she realized many of the bodies were right there with her, having slammed into the railing as well. 

Nauseous, and unable to stand on legs that were shaking that badly, Belle pushed away from the railing and crawled to the first spot clear of bodies. She began gagging, sure she was going to vomit, and then a hand was touching her back. She screamed, and lashed out with a leg, her eyes wild as Hook bent over her. 

"It's all right love." He was saying. "The worst is over." 

Belle stared at him, and choked on her disbelief. "How can you say that!?" Belle demanded. "It will NEVER be over!" She shook her head, refusing the hand that he offered her. 

"Captain?" Came Smee's quiet worry. 

"She's just shaken up by what she's seen." Hook told him, and again tried to reach out to Belle, to help her up. 

"It's understandable." Smee nodded. "Shall I get the doctor?" 

"If you can find whatever spot that coward has hidden away in." Hook nodded, and this time succeeded in drawing Belle into his arms. He smelled of blood and sweat, and things better left unidentified. She shivered and shook, but held in her sob. Hook was suddenly catching her as Belle half swooned, lifting her up off the deck to carry her in his arms to the cabin. 

"Your sheets..." She managed to say in protest as he attempted to lay her down. 

"They'll need a good cleaning, but they'll survive." Hook answered curtly. "I'm more worried about you then any blood that might stain." 

"It's not that bad." Belle said, Hook's fingers gentle as they brushed across the cut on her throat. 

"My mutinous crew is lucky for that." Hook muttered in a dark, furious tone. "If Pan had been a little more lethal, if you had been hurt any worse, well...the mermaids would be the least of their problems." 

Belle shivered at the thought, Hook's fingers caressing under the wound. "Don't feel sorry for them love. Your kind feelings are not something they deserve." 

"Probably not." She managed to agree, and Hook allowed a grim smile. It faded when Belle risked touching his cheek, her thumb brushing across a smear of blood there. "Are YOU hurt?" 

"I'm a bit roughed up, but nothing that will kill me." 

Her heart swelled with relief, unexpected gratitude going unvoiced. It was still an odd sensation, but Belle was growing used to being glad Hook was not getting hurt too badly by the fighting that was repeated too often on his ship. 

It was a fighting she had always known was hugely in part because of her, but today's battle had reinforced that fact. It had been one thing to hear the fighting, but to see it? To experience first hand the vicious savagery that the pirates were all capable of? And to hear Peter Pan himself revel in the madness, a chaos he said was all thanks to Belle's presence here in Neverland? It was beyond terrifying, it was sobering, and made Belle aware of how dependant she was on Hook, and how desperately she needed to get back to Storybrooke. 

The latter was something that seemed beyond her abilities at the moment, and the first? Well Belle didn't want to think about what would happen should Hook tire of fighting to protect her. But she didn't know what else to do, but pray. For a miracle, for someone, Rumplestiltskin perhaps, to deliver her out of the situation she had found herself in. But she wasn't used to just sitting on her heels, waiting for someone else to do something for her. A princess she may be, but Belle had always strove to make her own destiny with her own two hands. Even when life had had other plans, when Belle had been imprisoned, she had always fought, always tried to keep deciding her own fate. She wasn't about to stop now, not even here in Neverland, though Belle wasn't yet sure what she could do. But she'd be damned before she let Pan, the pirates, or even the mermaids have their way with her. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

To Be Continued....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not exactly happy with my ending paragraphs. *shrugs* I have been sick for just little over a week. I just got antibiotics yesterday (Saturday) and was told if my breathing gets worse to come in immediately. First time I've felt well enough to try and finish this chapter. Though I admit even before I got sick, the chapter was delaying due to disheartened and discouraged feelings.... 
> 
> Aside from all that....I'm kind of flailing cause this chapter took a life of it's own. But I was able to roll with what did happen, even if some of the stuff wasn't originally planned to happen. But for the most part I like this chapter. 
> 
> This Pan is closer to the show's one, though not completely. But a lot more like him than the one in my Hook Emma Neverland fic. ^^'' Bear in mind this in a middle age old man in a boys' body. Whose probably a great deal insane. XD 
> 
> Aw, I'm probably not making much sense. I should shut up now... 
> 
> \-----Michelle


	13. Thirteen

The relief that was currently coloring Belle's eyes was equal to the amount coursing through Hook, the pirate practically sagging with it, as much of his tension expelled with his breath. And with that tension freed, his smile faded, Hook's own expression turning somber and serious as he again looked at the cut on the front of Belle's throat. It was sliver thin line of red that spread downwards, staining Belle's pale skin with a muted hue of crimson. Those thin dribbles of red were hardly life threathening, but Hook saw them for what they really were. 

A warning. 

It was a warning in so many different ways, the blood inspiring fear and caution, and serving to remind Hook of just why he shouldn't get involved. The blood whispered of danger and of pain, and was ultimately a promise, that next time maybe Pan wouldn't be content to stop at just the warning. It was a warning he should heed, and not just because of what Pan might do, but because of what such a thing would do to Hook. The pain and the agony, the misery and despair, the rage and the insanity. Each ready to destroy him, and Hook wasn't brave enough to go through that gauntlet of emotion a second time. 

That fear made him pull back, Hook shutting down his feelings, erecting a chasm between his heart and Belle's. It wasn't as wide and as deep a distance as Hook would have liked, some part of him knowing it was already too late. That he was already a little too invested in Belle and her well being. That had been woefully apparent the moment Hook had laid eyes on Pan threatening her, the pirate's blood running cold at the sight of the dagger against Belle's throat. And with that chilling fear, came a burst of white hot fury, Hook fighting harder, more brutally, more desperately, absolutely frantic in his bid to make sure the past didn't repeat itself, that he didn't lose yet another woman to a mad man's malice. 

It was no real victory that he hadn't this time. Pan could come back at any time, strike as soon as the whim took him, and there was no guarantee that next time the brat would prove so merciful. But then it wasn't a true mercy Pan had granted this day. If anything, the boy had probably weighed the possibilities, and decided on the outcome that would cause the most damage. And there was no denying that Belle's continued presence onboard the pirates' ship, would indeed cause trouble. A trouble that was already taking shape in the near daily attempts at mutiny, and not all of them were going to be as easy to end as today's had been. 

Hook couldn't even spare a smile to Smee's quick thinking and initiative, though the pirate knew he would have to think up a way to properly thank the man for his assistance. Hook had been holding his own, but just barely, the odds against him doubled as both his pirates and Pan's boys worked together against him. The tireless onslaught of boys was nowhere as surprising as the impassioned way Hook's own crew had fought, but then the Lost Ones hadn't as tempting an incentive to fight for as the pirates now had. 

He grudgingly supposed he couldn't blame them, not when Belle was so lush shaped and lovely looking. Beautiful with her chestnut colored locks, her expressive blue eyes that were alight with intelligence, with sweet pouty lips that could drive a saint to sin, and a body that was all soft curves, it was no wonder she was driving his crew mad with lust. Starved for it, for her, his horn dog crew would have settled for any woman that they could have gotten their grubby paws on, and the situation was only exacerbated by the fact that Belle was an extremely attractive young woman. 

She was also the only woman in Neverland, the only ever known human female in a land that was all barbaric magic and male dominated. She was both miles and years away from anything resembling civilization, and Belle's presence had thus far hindered more than helped Hook. She brought chaos into an already tense and deadly situation, made Hook's control of his crew slip even further. Belle was trouble, and there was no changing that as fact. 

It wasn't just the effect she had on his crew. It was the effect she was starting to have on Hook, thoughts and feelings unwanted, unbidden coming to him. He had and still felt the fear that coursed through him, and that anger still burned brightly, Hook repressing a shudder over Pan's actions, and how his threat had made the man feel. The outrage and the horror were nothing compared to what Hook felt at the idea that one day Pan would be back. And that one day the brat would stop with the warnings, and take things to the next, lethal step. 

The idea of Belle being hurt, of being killed, was already something short of intolerable. He wasn't in love with her, but he did LIKE her. He was attracted to her beauty, and the past two weeks had done much to let him start to know the person beyond that physical loveliness. Belle was a bright, intelligent, fascinating woman, and Hook had enjoyed their morning and evening meals for the conversations they had shared. He had seen her spirit, the fire in her, the woman someone Hook thought would be easy to come to feel more for. He had in effect been forming a relationship with her, a friendship that went beyond his role as her protector, and in doing so he had drawn both of them into Pan's line of fire. 

Hook knew his reaction to Pan threathening Belle, hadn't been lost on the boy. The brat had seen how furious it had made Hook, an anger he hadn't been able to control or hide. Worse yet, the boy had seen how Hook's crew had reacted, how they had attacked one another and their own captain, driven so at the sight of Belle out on deck. The crew had turned almost unthinking, battling with a frenzied lust that had spilt as much blood as the Lost Boys had. Pan had bore sharp eyed witness to it all, and in just a few seconds, had ascertained what would have the most jarring and devastating a result. He had let Belle live, an act that was sure to further tear apart Hook and his crew. 

Pan's malice left Hook with few real options. He could continue to fight his crew, until he died or they dwindled down to nothing, or he could give them Belle, to use and abuse as they saw fit. He could even leave Neverland, a fact that would delight Pan, cost Hook his revenge, but get Belle to safety. None of these options were particularly appealing, Hook still unable to let go of his revenge, but also unable to stomach the idea of what his crew would do to Belle. Ultimately his choice, was the only one, Hook having to continue to fight his own crew in order to maintain some order amidst the chaos of Neverland. 

He'd have to work even harder to settle the chaos of his own heart. Those traitorous feelings it was developing would do no one any good, least of all Belle, and Pan's evil knew no bounds. His warning coloring Belle's throat, was just as good a reason as any for Hook to not fall in love with her. 

Not that he felt anywhere close to being in love with Belle. But even liking her as a person seemed one step too close for comfort. And not just because of what Pan could do, but because Hook wasn't always happy to realize enough time had passed so that Milah's memory didn't have quite the strangle hold on his heart as he had once believed it to have. It still hurt that he had lost her, and Hook still hungered for revenge. But there was this unsettled feeling in him, a longing for something that Hook himself wasn't ready for, and yet the situation was trying to force into his lap. And ready or not, Hook sometimes wondered if it could be staved off in part, by becoming to Belle what his crew already believed them to be. 

Hook couldn't deny he hadn't considered it. He WAS a hot blooded male, and Belle was an attractive woman on all fronts, and if Hook had been a little less of a gentleman, and a little less afraid, they might have already been lovers. They did after all share some of the intimacies that lovers enjoyed, Hook insisting on Belle not only sleeping in his bed, but locked in the safety of his arms. That it served no real purpose other than the illicit thrill it gave Hook was exactly the reason why he should put a stop to it immediately, and yet the pirate already knew he wasn't going to. His crew wasn't the only ones starving, and it wasn't just sex that Hook was finding he missed. 

Things like the touch of her hand, the smell of her hair, the sound of her voice. The spirited way her eyes flashed in defiance, or the way her lips fought a smile against some of the things he said to her. He liked her quick wit, and enjoyed hearing the tales of her life in that fascinating town known as Storybrooke. Hook enjoyed the friendship that was forming, the easy camaraderie they had fallen into. It reminded him of the kind of relationship he had had with Milah, the two having been friends, lovers, companions, and partners. The relationship with Belle wasn't the same, and not just because Hook and Milah had been lovers before all else. Belle was dependant on him, as both a guide through Neverland, and also as her protector against the dangers around them. 

It was a danger he continued to expose her to, and for reasons that were more selfish than noble. Hook wanted his revenge, actively chased after it, and had thus far stubbornly refused to let go of the vendetta. It sparked yet another feeling in him, a guilt that had nothing to do with what had happened to Milah, and everything to do with Belle. For the troubles he had caused her, for the danger, and the risk Hook still involved her in. For his being unable to let go of his hatred long enough to save her, and the blood staining her throat seemed as much an accusation as it was a warning and a reminder. 

Hook felt that same white hot fury as before, but Pan was not the focus this time. Instead it turned inwards, Hook mad at himself for not doing better by Belle. The red coloring her pale flesh continued to taunt him, Hook all too quick to leave the instant Connor and Smee appeared, the doctor clutching his black satchel to his chest, and visibly swaying on his feet. 

Leaving Belle alone with the drunk doctor, Hook stalked out onto the deck. The wooden planks of it's floor was stained with blood, many of the puddles having spread to meet each other, and cover more ground that way. There was entrails and even a few body parts strewn about, and more bodies than Hook cared to count laying twisted and mangled up against the rail. Behind him, Smee made a disapproving sound, the older pirate more concerned with the clean up than the lives lost. 

It would take some time, a half a day at least, to set the deck to looking right. A good scrubbing was needed, and the bodies needed to be tossed, and if Hook's crew was any less lucky, their captain would toss them as well. 

As it were, Hook was in no mood to let his mutinous crew back onboard his ship. He was already drawing his sword, the blade also marked with it's own fair share of blood and gore, and there was no one left around who was brave enough to try and stop him. There wasn't even a shout, though he did catch the startled look in the eyes of Estavan, as the rope snapped instantly under his sword's sharp cleave. 

The long boat the rope had been attached to, swung perilously by it's two remaining tethers, and muscles strained to keep it from diving nose first into the water. The pirates seated inside it, began to claw at the sides of the boat, trying to keep from being pitched off. There was a few curses heard from over the side of the ship, the men angry but also terrified, and desperate to get out of the water before the spilt blood attracted the mermaids. 

"Estavan." Hook began in a dangerous tone of voice. "I don't recall giving the order to lower the long boats." 

Estavan appeared to have lost a great deal of his coloring, his face a stark white of terror as he stared at his captain. "No..no. You didn't, captain. I was just thinking you'd want..." 

"That I'd want what? To let this group of mutinous bastards back aboard my ship?" Hook let out a short, cruel laugh. "I am neither crazy nor that desperate." 

"No sir, you're not." Estavan agreed quick enough. "But the mermaids..." He visibly shuddered. "It's not a death I'd wish on anyone." 

"Then you're a lot nicer than me." Hook answered, abruptly cutting the second rope. This time the panicked screams were louder, the third rope abruptly snapping on it's own. The long boat dove down into the Never Sea, and the pirates went with it. It hit the water not with a splash, but more a thud, half flipping as it dumped the pirates back into the water. 

There was a whole lot of screaming and cursing, the pirates splashing about and trying to stop their fear long enough to get the boat turned right side up. It took them several minutes, and not all of them made it back into the boat, several necks being snapped as the pirates fought over the limited space available to them. 

"Captain!" An angry voice snarled from the water. 

"OH?" Hook leaned over the railing, his sword still in hand. "So I'm back to being your captain now?" 

"For now." Was the soft muttering, curses accompanying the retort from almost all the pirates. 

"And that attitude is exactly why I won't be letting you back onboard the Roger so easily." Hook told them. 

"You'll do so eventually." The spokesmen for the group said. "You NEED Us." 

"I've no use for a crew that keeps attacking me." Hook told them. "And especially a crew that seeks to do so over the flimsiest of excuses." 

"It's not flimsy and you know it!" It was a cry taken up by many of the pirates, the anger, hostility and agitation evident in their voices. 

"We want to return home!" 

"We want to be able to spend our spoils!" 

"We want the woman!" 

"I can't be giving you any of those things so long as the Dark One still lives." Hook answered, and one of the pirates actually spat in return. 

"It's been over two hundred years! There's no way of knowing if the Dark One even still remembers you, let alone wants revenge." 

"It's not a chance I'm willing to take, and I'll be damned twice over before your homesickness and horniness drive me to act different." Hook retorted. 

"Then at least let us have the woman!" 

"OH? So I'm to reward you now for trying to kill me?" Hook demanded with a sneer. "Or is it a bribe you seek? What kind of captain would I be, if I have to bribe my own crew for their loyalty?" 

"An alive one!" Came the answer. "Just give us the woman, and all this nonsense will stop." 

"Stop? And what happens when your lust kills her? We'll be right back to fighting, only with an innocent's blood on our hands." Hook slowly shook his head. "No, she's not the answer to any of our problems. There is only one thing that is, and until I find it..." 

"And what if the magic of Neverland is not enough?! What then?" 

"That's a worry you should be saving for me." Hook answered. "And now I suggest you make way for the mainland. There's bodies to be dumped, and the mermaids won't pass up on a feast of this magnitude." 

He had the satisfaction of seeing some of the men blanch, their face pale and twisting in revulsion. Hook grinned down at them, a mean spirited smirk, as he added the following. "Make for the mainland boys. And pray that in the days that pass, I will come of a mood merciful enough to let you back aboard my ship." 

They reacted to his words, expressions angry, resentful, even fearful in one case. But no amount of cursing, shouting, or even begging was enough to get Hook to change his stance on this, their captain ordering them again to go. 

"Get this mess cleaned up." Hook then ordered of the few hands that had remained on deck. He noticed the hesitation in Estavan, Hook walking right up to the muscled youth with a snarl. "Is there a problem?" 

"No, captain!" Estavan quickly answered. "Just was wondering if we should allow the crew more of a head start before we start dumping the bodies." 

Hook felt all eyes on him, the remains of his crew trying to figure out now if their captain was capable of being THAT cruel. Hook actually considered it, tempted to put an end to the mutinies in a most spectacular fashion, knowing the long boat wasn't capable of withstanding an attack from the mermaids. 

"They've got a ten minute head start." Hook finally said. "Not a second longer than that." He gestured at Smee, the man coming forward while fumbling in his pant's pocket for a rusted stop watch. 

With a muted grumble of what might have been grudging respect, the remaining members of Hook's crew, set about to doing what they could. That included looting the bodies, the crew rifling through their dead comrades pockets, pilfering any coin or spoils that they could find. The bodies of the children weren't treated much better, the weapons the boys had died wielding being claimed. And once all riches and valuables were taken off the bodies, the men began stacking the dead near to the rail to make easier to start dumping the parts into the water. 

Hook took to the helm of the ship, watching his crew with a steely eyed stare. Not all of the ones who had attacked him, had ended up in the water, and more than a few looked as though they were itching to restart the fight. He hoped the bodies would be a gruesome enough display to keep them from giving in to their lust, but knew the memory of Belle standing out on the deck was a potent incentive to risk their necks over. 

It was especially true, when one considered how little she had been wearing. Already a visual treat, to see her clad only in one of the captain's shirts, her long, shapely legs barely covered, had only worked to incite the crew further. Hook could have kicked himself for his own selfish desires, for leaving Belle in a situation to run out only half dressed. It had been stupid, but it was something that could be remedied, Hook not looking at Smee as he gripped the wheel. 

"I think it's time." He said, and Smee's silence was a patient one. "I want you and Estavan to go down in the hold. Fetch the chest, you know the one." 

Smee's silence was broken, the man startled enough to gasp. "The chest?! Captain, are you sure?" 

Hook's fingers tightened on the ship's wheel, the color bleeding out of his knuckles. "I can't let my sentiments cloud my decisions any longer. I'm sure." 

Out the corner of his eye, he saw Smee nod, the older pirate looking genuinely relieved. He had never particularly agreed with his captain's decision where the matter of clothing for Belle had been concerned, and Smee was only too eager to see this wrong set right. Hook wished he could feel half as eager, but his heart felt uncertain. He didn't feel ready to see the chest, to have the long buried contents inside it stir memories that had served him best set aside. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been an interesting road to get this chapter completed. I want to thank Huntress and my friend Carly for reading over the draft of the part before Hook left Belle with the doctor. I had been happy with it, reread it, then freaked out that I had to trash it. Even though my two friends tried to reassure me otherwise. Sorry it took me two and a half weeks (or more!) to finally believe you guys. 
> 
> So yes, I sat on this first 16 kb for a couple of weeks. I tried rewriting my opening twice, but it went horribly wrong, and then last night I looked over what I had written a while back, and this time it didn't' seem to bother me the way it had the first time. I guess I was being too hard on myself. 
> 
> So.....yeah..I took a small break here to update Taken. Normally when I get stuck on a chapter, I get stubborn and stay on it till it's completed. I'm glad I made myself take a break, cause at least I got to update a different fic and put some distance between the draft for this chapter and my hating on it. 
> 
> I'm not exactly thrilled with my ending paragraph though....but I'm like I want this freaking chapter to be over with already! X_X Part of the ending paragraph's problem is....how to write it without spoiling what is in the chest. Though I'm sure you all already guessed it. But I still wish I could have written it better somehow. *sighs* 
> 
> \---Michelle


	14. Fourteen

Pacing the full length of the cabin for what had to be the fiftieth time at least, Belle felt very much like a caged, frightened animal. Trapped and awaiting slaughter, Belle aware of what she had at stake here, and how it all hinged on one man's ability to protect her. That Hook had thus far done an admirable job at that, didn't lessen Belle's unease, the woman now doubly aware of how it would take only one mistake for her to be plunged into a nightmare of the most horrific kind. 

It was a nightmare she didn't think herself capable of surviving, Belle in no way naive enough to NOT know what the pirates would do to her. How they would use and abuse her, until there was nothing left. It left her terrified, and today's events had only enforced her fear. Her skin still crawled with unease just by remembering the two pirates who had grabbed at her, and her fear was made all the worse by the thought that at least one of them was still alive. But even with both of them dead, Belle wouldn't have felt better. Not with a whole crew of them still out there, and her mind's terror was such that she imagined the numbers nearly triple the size of the actual amount. 

It wasn't just the size that she imagined the crew to be, it was their intent. Belle imagined the worst, the horrific thoughts made all the more potent by the books she had read back in Storybrooke. What had been mere titillation then, was scaring her now, and it was all the more horrible because nothing she had read was even half as bad as what the pirates were truly capable of. 

The only thing that MIGHT Be worse, was that boy, that Peter Pan. He had scared Belle in a different way, the woman remembering the way he had threatened her, the way Pan had dug his dagger into her throat, and the awful, creepy words that the boy had spoken. He had reveled in the chaos around them, a turbulent conflict Pan had claimed had been because of Belle. People had died because of her, because of Belle's presence in Neverland, and Pan was counting on it to continue. He hadn't cared about his own lost boys, and Pan certainly didn't care about the pirates who were also hurt and killed. Just as he didn't care about Belle, save to use her as a pawn for the ultimate decimation of Hook and his remaining ew. 

Belle shivered and paused, her fingers raising to her bandaged throat. It wasn't as bad as it could have been, the flesh bleeding lightly, and not torn enough to need stitches or worse yet to kill her. But Belle didn't doubt for one moment that Pan would be back, and that he would make good on his threats, letting her live only so long as her usefulness to him was still apparent. 

It was simply too much. She had to worry about rape minded pirates, had to deal with some insane sixteen year old, had to find a way back home, and on top of it guard her secrets from Hook. No wonder she was still shaking, even hours later, Belle unable to keep still, barely able to keep from screaming. She was actually starting to regret turning down the doctor's tonic, the man trying to prescribe her some brew meant to deal with a woman's hysteria. 

"I am not hysterical!" She had told him, with real annoyance adding bite to her tone. "And even if I was, wouldn't you say I had a right to it?" 

Connor hadn't denied it, staring at her with those beady eyes of his looking grave and solemn. She hadn't been able to bear that look any more than his attempts at pity, Belle eventually sending him out of the room. But not before he had given her more to think about, Connor trying to turn Belle against Hook. 

"It's all that Hook's fault." He had said. "Every last bit of it." 

Belle had tried for patience with the doctor, tiredly explaining it wasn't Hook's fault that she had ended up in Neverland. But Connor hadn't wanted to hear it, muttering things about how it was, that she was only here because Pan wanted Belle to be here, to pit her against Hook in some way. Be it by causing his own crew to mutiny, or something else. 

Belle had asked him what that something else could have been, but Connor had merely shrugged. 

"Heed my words." He had said, even as Belle had all but ordered him to leave. "Whatever happens to you, it's on the captain's hand." 

He had left after that, but his words had lingered, Belle thinking about them. She didn't believe for one second Hook was at fault for her ending up in Neverland. Not the Hook of the past, and not even the Hook back in Storybrooke. But she didn't know who, or what was responsible, and Belle was almost certain Peter Pan was just as surprised as anyone else about the woman's arrival in Neverland. And the boy wasn't above using her presence in this realm to his advantage. 

It was an advantage she didn't want to give Pan, Belle stubborn and a fighter who wasn't about to hand anyone, least of all a villain such an easy victory. But she wasn't sure, about any of it, how to stop Pan, how to get home, how to stop feeling so helpless. It felt like her problems would never truly end, especially while she remained in Neverland, and Belle hadn't even begun to truly think about what would happen should she ever get back to Storybrooke. Her situation with Rumplestiltskin was still so up in the air, Belle not sure what if anything could make things better between them. They needed to talk, but where that conversation would ultimately lead them, she didn't know. Nor was she looking forward to finding out, Belle trying not to shiver as she again thought about the knowledge that Rumplestiltskin had killed his own wife in cold blood. 

Not sure how Rumplestiltskin could spin it to be better than it actually was, Belle nearly jumped out of her skin when she heard the cabin's door open. Her fears didn't flee her, but an immense sense of relief came to her at the sight of Captain Hook. She almost let out a hysterical giggle, still finding it strange how a man who had so terrified her once upon a time, could now be so comforting a sight. But he was, and she didn't giggle, instead stepping towards him with an intent to grab onto and cling to his arm. 

She stopped just short of touching him, instead wringing her hands together in an anxious manner. But her wide eyed expression, it betrayed her unsettled feelings, Hook giving her a hooded look of sympathy. 

Annoyed with that look, and with herself, Belle's voice was harsh with her agitation, as she demanded of Hook where he had been. 

"I had more business than usual out on deck." He told her, then arched a brow at her. "Were you wanting to speak to me?" 

"Yes...no...I...uh..." She shook her head, then again resisted the impulse to latch onto his arm. "I wanted to thank you." 

"There's no need for that." He said in a gruff tone. "I'm just trying to do right by you." 

Which was something he didn't need to do, and if Hook had been a different person, less of a gentleman, and more like the ruthless pirate he had been in Storybrooke, Belle had no doubt he would have left her to be preyed upon by his crew. 

It was a thought that again had Belle conflicted, the woman aware of how grateful she was, and also how dependent she was on Hook. But she was also aware of the fact that they were, or would be enemies, given the right time and place. And for that she should keep her distance from him. 

"What's wrong?" He asked, his arm starting to lift, before he abruptly dropped his hand back to his side. "What brings that look to your eye?" 

"How can I not be worried?!" Belle demanded in return. "When I consider what happened today." 

"It's been known from the start what my crew wants from you." Hook pointed out. "Why should today be any different?" 

"I..because I got to actually see the fighting first hand!" Belle exclaimed, and hugged her arms around her, rather than touch Hook. "I had no idea they were quite that..." 

"That they are, and twice as stupid, thinking with their dicks instead of their heads." Hook grumbled. "Wanting what they'll destroy themselves over." 

"That boy, Pan said the same thing." Belle muttered, and saw Hook's eyes alight with fury. 

"Pan goes too far but then when hasn't he?" But the anger hadn't left Hook's eyes. 

"I don't understand. What is WRONG with him? Why did he seem to hate me on sight?" 

"One's not a question I can answer, and the other I've speculated about over more time than I care to admit to." Hook told her, then sighed. "Best I can reason, Pan is such a murderous little bastard because he is protecting Neverland." 

"Protecting it?" 

"I've not made it secret that I'll take any magic I can get, and that includes whatever it is that powers this realm. If it means I can get my revenge, I'll destroy Neverland, make no mistake about that." His expression hadn't softened, not even at her shiver, Belle's own look growing increasingly upset. 

"Connor thinks Pan brought me here to use against you...." 

"The doctor's probably right about that." Hook agreed. 

"And yet you still protect me." Belle noted. 

"Wouldn't be much of a gentleman if I did not." Hook retorted, the first hint of a grim smile turning the corners of his mouth up. "And it's not your fault Pan chose you." 

"That's just it. I don't think he did." Belle said. Hook looked in doubt of that, and Belle sighed. "He seemed just as...well maybe surprised isn't the right word. But he didn't talk like he had wanted me here." 

"Sure he's not just tricking you?" 

"I don't believe he is." Belle insisted. "He comes off a bit...unhinged and uncaring, and the only reason I am alive, is because he thinks he can use me...to destroy you and your crew." 

"Worry not, I'll not be so easily destroyed. Can't, however, say the same about my crew." Hook gruffly acknowledged. 

"But..." Belle bit at her bottom lip. 'If your crew dwindles down any more, won't you ultimately be overrun with Lost Boys?" 

"Pan can't replenish his band that quickly." But Belle was not reassured, giving him a doubting look. "If he could, I might not have risked sending my crew to the mainland." 

"The mainland? For the hunt?" 

"To stew over their own bad behavior." Hook corrected gently. "Maybe in a few days time, I'll let them back aboard the Roger. But then again, maybe I won't." He smirked then, but it was without humor to it. Belle shivered, wondering if Hook would really keep his crew stranded on the main island, a land that was supposed to be rife with danger and peril. 

"As it is..." Hook said, filling in the silence left by Belle's private thoughts. "The crew that didn't fall into the Never Sea, will keep me busy enough." 

"More fighting?" Belle asked with a shudder. 

"Aye." Hook nodded. "It's why I couldn't come check on you sooner. It's a careful line I must walk, to avoid upsetting the lads too badly." Another humorless smirk was flashed in response to Belle's puzzled look. "They can't think I am flaunting the situation." 

"Flaunting?" Belle was even more confused. 

"They already think we're fucking." Hook said bluntly. "What kind of captain would I be, if I abandoned my daily duties, to spend it all day in bed with my charming companion? A woman I refuse to share with my crew?" 

She turned red in embarrassment at that, and Hook's dark chuckle didn't help. "IS that why you spend only the morning and evening meals with me?" 

"Regretfully, it's the only time I can truly get away with taking." Hook admitted. He looked like he wanted to say more, but Smee's familiar knock on the door had them both turning that way. "One moment, Smee." Hook said, then told Belle to get out of sight of the door. 

She watched from a safe distance, from a spot where no one on deck would spy a glimpse of her. Hook opened the door, and she heard him speak. 

"We'll take it from here, Estavan." 

She heard the man's disappointment, but Estavan left without too much fuss. Belle was still standing near the alcove, when Hook and Smee entered the cabin, laboring with something heavy between them. She saw it was a chest, and her eyebrows rose in surprise, and that was before the chest was set down before her. 

"What's this?" Belle inquired, her curiosity apparent. 

Smee hesitated and glanced towards Hook, who was busy fetching a key ring out from a much smaller chest on top of the dining table. There was only a few keys on the ring, perhaps five in all, and Belle was too curious about the chest to wonder what other locks those keys might belong to. 

"Hook?" He had come to stand besides her, but Hook wasn't looking at Belle. He was staring down at the chest, fingering one key in particular. She got the feeling the pirate wasn't in any rush to open the chest, but Belle couldn't understand why. 

"Smee?" She looked again to the older man for answers, but he shook his head in that ever solemn way of his. He was patient where Belle was not, the woman almost tempted to snatch the key from Hook and open the chest herself. 

"Is anyone going to tell me what is going on?" Belle finally asked, and saw the hesitation in Hook. He was reluctant, not answering her, at least not with words. Instead he pushed the key into her hand, the man then gesturing with his hook for her to have at it with the chest. 

Confused by him, Belle warily knelt down before the large chest. She felt both men's eyes on her, Belle putting the key in the lock, and turning. There was resistance, the lock a bit rusted, as though it hadn't been used in a great many years. Belle turned harder, and the lock abruptly popped, the chest than opening just a smidgeon, as though the contents inside had been waiting to explode out of it. 

Putting aside the key and it's ring, Belle slowly pushed up the lid. She then brushed aside the velvet that had been wrapped around the contents inside, and found more fabric, whole outfits fitted for a woman. There was other things inside the chest, including small boxes, but Belle made no move towards them. She was feeling too angry, starting to stand, her eyes beginning to narrow in a glare as Belle prepared to confront Hook. 

"Clothes, captain?" Her cold tone couldn't hide her fury. "When you said you had none to spare?" 

Hook looked into her glaring eyes, but didn't smirk, didn't laugh, and didn't tell her to calm down. Instead he spoke in a grave, reluctant tone, Hook explaining that the chest and it's items had belonged to HER. 

"Her?" Instantly all of Belle's anger dulled, the woman suddenly understanding. This was Milah's things Hook was giving her, and it was clear by his demeanor that it pained him to do so. "I...thank you." 

Hook nodded once, and an awkward silence stretched out. Smee watched without speaking, his eyes taking on a nervous gleam to them. 

"You'll probably be having to make some adjustments." Hook finally said. "Mila wasn't quite as gifted as you are when it comes to curves. Smee can help you with the letting out, unless...." 

"I am good with a needle." Belle quickly said. Hook nodded again, then started to move past Belle and the chest. "Wait!" Belle cried out, catching at Hook's arm. He froze but didn't look at her. "Is there...is there anything of hers I shouldn't touch?" 

He hesitated. "No." Hook finally said. "It's yours now. She does after all, have no more use for it." 

This time she didn't try to stop him, Belle letting go of Hook's arm, and staring at his retreating form. It wasn't until the door had closed, that Belle realized Smee was still standing there with her. 

"Don't be too mad at him..." The man began, but Belle held up her hand for his silence. 

"I'm not." She assured Smee. "I can understand why it would be hard for him to see another woman wearing her things....." 

Smee looked relieved. "You're a kind woman, Belle. A good woman...." He hesitated. "Will you be needing my help here?" 

"I think I'll be able to manage." Belle said. "It might take another day or two to get the first outfit fitted, but.." Her shrug was interrupted by Smee drawing a packet out from his pocket, some thread and a needle handed to Belle. 

"Then if you won't be needing me at the moment. I think I'll go see about dinner." Smee said, and headed for the cabin's door once Belle had nodded her okay. He paused before opening it though, turning to glance at her one more time. "I don't think he'll be joining you tonight." 

"No, I imagine he won't." Belle agreed, then earned a small smile from the old pirate. "Keep an eye on him Smee." 

"Always." He assured her, then left the room. 

Belle stood there a moment, just weighing in the significance of what Hook had just done. And then she turned her attention back to the chest, picking the key ring up off the floor, and returning it to it's place on the table. She then began rifling through the chest, taking out the many different types of clothing. There was even a nightgown, though it was nothing appropriate for Belle to wear around Hook. She blushed at the thought, knowing it was more lingerie than anything, or what passed for lingerie in the Enchanted Kingdoms. 

There was dresses though, with form fitting bodices, and ankle length skirts. And under the dresses, which were a mix of tavern wench and high class noble, Belle found leather, the kind of clothing an adventurer would wear. She spent the most time examining those leathers, intrigued by them and the woman that had worn them. She also wondered if this was a hopeful sign, a sign that maybe Hook was inching one step closer to finally telling Belle more about Milah, the woman he had loved. She wasn't yet certain how to broach the subject, knowing it would take careful skill and management to keep Hook from shutting down on all attempts. But Belle was determined to find out, to get out the whole story, and have all her questions answered. And she thought there was nothing wrong with asking, of making the most of her opportunity, so long as she remained trapped in Neverland's past. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------ 

To Be Continued....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems I'm always moaning about being dissatisfied with my ending paragraph, or line. *blush* But for the most part I like this chapter. I feel super good about it, and am ecstatic that I finished it in one evening's time. I did take yesterday off from worrying about any writing (Dragon Age gaming instead.) but today I consider a success with being able to not only start the chapter, but complete it! 
> 
> Fun fact about the chest, at one point I considered making the chest be expensive clothing they picked up on a raid but never got to sell for gold, but ultimately I reasoned to myself, the only good reason Hook could give her about not giving her clothes sooner, was if it was stuff that belong to Mila, that would bring painful memories and reminders to him. 
> 
> Now I am kinda going into worry mode, cause I am not sure how to handle the next chapter. I may do a time skip or something. It'll probably be a Hook POV....But I am gonna try not to worry about writing the rest of tonight. XD 
> 
> \----Michelle


	15. Fifteen

The Never Sea looked almost black at this time of night, with nothing but the pale light of the moon to cast it's shine on the waves. Beneath that oil colored surface, a whole world existed, more danger than wonders lurking in wait. Only a fool would enter these waters willingly, and only a suicidal one would do so at night. 

But the main land wasn't much better. All manner of beasts roamed the island, and it wasn't just the ones who walked or flew that one had to be careful of. Hook almost thought it would be a better death to let the mermaids have you, then run afoul of some of the monsters that made Neverland their home. All would see you dead, but the mermaids might almost be merciful, letting most of their prey drown rather than the slow tortured methods of ripping and tearing, of blood loss and live digestion. 

His mutinous crew had their work cut out for them, and their survival was not guaranteed. Hook had known that when he had abandoned them to the main land, and he didn't particularly care if a few of them did end up dead. A lesson had to be learned, his crew had to go back to respecting and fearing him. And if they couldn't do that, then they'd be better off dead. 

It was better them than he, Hook thought with a humorless smirk. And there was few if any captains that would argue, all pirates knowing they had to keep order on and command of their ship, even at the costs of lives. It required a ruthless way of thinking, and Hook had that in spades. They all did, because they were pirates, lawless and out for no one but their own selves. Friends, family, it mattered not, the men born to this type of life caring little for anyone, anything except their own sometimes selfish desires. 

It was those desires that was the problem, and not just because of what his crew wanted. Hook's desires made him an anomaly, made him seem strange and weak in his crew's eyes. Those men had no room for soft hearted sentiment, or feelings of love and attachment. They couldn't understand Hook's devotion to a dead woman, nor did they appreciation his decisions where Belle was concern. The crew hated that he protected her, that Hook denied them what they saw as their right. Most of all, they were assuming he had gone soft because of the woman, and it was no wonder Hook was fast losing control of his own men. 

But he couldn't give them what they wanted. He simply retained too much of his old self, that gentleman's honor. Hook hadn't been born to be a pirate, he had been made one by circumstance. And though he had tried his best to throw off the shackles of nobility and refinement, some things had remained ingrain in him, Hook a gentleman when it came to the fairer sex. 

Women were his weakness. They were always his weakness. From Milah to Belle, and everyone that had come before, Hook had always sought to protect them as best he could. His stance on rape hadn't always made him a popular captain, but he had kept order in other ways. Everything from bribing them for their loyalty with a ceaseless talent at finding plunder, to beating his men into submission. Killing some if need be, as an example to the others. 

For the longest time, the near endless amounts of treasure had been enough to keep his crew happy. They had taken to port often enough, the men able to satisfy their sexual desires there. But there was no port or women in Neverland, and resentment had never been so high as it now was with Belle added into the mix. 

She was a problem, pleasant though Belle might be, and there was no real resolution in sight. She was as trapped as the pirates, Hook still refusing to leave Neverland. But guilt had lodged in his chest because of that refusal, and the fact that anything bad that did happen to Belle, happened because of him. It wasn't a miserable enough feeling to get Hook to reconsider his plans, and even if it had been, his resolve had been strengthened by the reminder that Milah's chest had proven to been. 

It had hurt to see it, to get a glimpse of that once vibrant soul's things. It had done more than hurt, the chest had stirred up old memories, thoughts Hook had tried to bury deep inside. Everything from the joyful highs, to the sad, bitter despair of her murder, Hook was experiencing it all, in ways he hadn't allowed himself to feel in years. Remembering now her smile, the honest pleasure in her eyes, the memories made all the more painful because Mila wasn't here, she was nothing more than a ghost. 

It had always been easy to hold on to his anger, his need for revenge. But now he felt the sadness of his lost, the pain and the hurt of what could have, should have been. The family they could have had, the life they should have led. The kind of dreams he no longer had the luxury to afford, Hook aware that this pain was yet another weakness that could leave him vulnerable. To his crew, and to Pan, and to a lesser extent, even to Belle. 

He sighed when he thought of her, the guilt tightening in his chest. There was so many wrongs he had committed by her, so many wrongs he continued to let happen. Even the matter of her clothing had been one, Hook taking too long to remedy the situation, no matter how good a reason he had had. And yet he knew the chest was at best a bandage, a temporarily staunch to a wound. It and it's contents couldn't make up for Hook keeping her in Neverland, for refusing to do the one thing that could truly ease Belle's burden. And Hook was finding that he despised himself for it. 

His guilt over Belle was haunting him just as much as the memory of Milah did this night. Leaving Hook distracted, and desperately wanting a drink he couldn't afford. Because he wouldn't stop at one bottle, and Hook wouldn't have stopped until he was filthy drunk and oblivious, and that was sheer madness to make himself that vulnerable when most of his crew were looking for any opportunity to kill him. 

It didn't stop him from wishing for the comforts of the rum, or maybe even a fine brandy, but Hook settled for a cold mug of a badly brewed coffee. He nursed the black contents, staring out at the sea, but his ears were pricked for sound. The creak and the moan of the floor boards as feet walked over them, the subtle shift of breathing, the hiss of metal being drawn from it's sheathe. None of it came, Hook alone on the deck, save for the watchful eyes of an ever concerned Smee. 

The old pirate watched him, but didn't intrude far enough to speak to Hook. He simply stayed on alert, ready to give a cry of alarm should someone somehow try to sneak up on Hook. Smee was perhaps the only pirate left that Hook trusted to watch his back, and he almost relaxed to know the old man was on guard. 

"You're a good friend, Smee." Hook finally said, and the old pirate made an embarrassed noise. "You are." Hook insisted. "I owe you much for today." 

"Nonsense captain." Smee protested. "I'm just doing what I have to." 

Hook snorted at that. "You'd be a lot more popular with the crew if you turned against me. You know that." 

"Popularity is overrated." Smee insisted. "Besides, I don't trust them, not a one. They'd soon as slit their own mother's throat as they would their so called friends. You at least have honor." 

"For all the good that honor does me in Neverland." Hook muttered. But he knew what Smee meant, honor a thing of value, especially when it was in short supply. Just as Hook could trust Smee to have his back, the old pirate could trust the captain to have his. It was one of the reasons why Hook trusted Smee to see and be around Belle, the captain knowing the old man wouldn't overstep bounds. He might like to look at pretty ladies, but Smee wasn't going to try to molest them, or cause a mutiny over one. 

"I think it's time to call it a night, Smee." Hook said, dumping what little remained of his cold coffee into the sea. 

Smee nodded, then hesitated for just a second. "It was a good thing you did today." He said, then clarified. "Giving the lady the chest." 

Hook didn't bother to reply, save for a flustered snort. He was thinking it a case of too little, too late, knowing he should have handed over Mila's things right from the start. Maybe the disaster of today wouldn't have been quite so bad, the crew not quite so impassioned and made desperate, if Belle had run out properly dressed. 

Then again they might not have cared. Hook knew how desperate they were for a woman, how powerful lust was, and he wasn't immune to it. He was feeling it too, though not to the degree his crew was claiming, Hook able to control himself by contenting himself with less invasive intimacies. The looking at her, the sneaking touches, and even the holding of her in his bed. She didn't always like that, Belle shying away often, or putting up with it all with an exasperated sigh. It was almost a game, a test to see just how much she would let him get away with, which wasn't much but Hook was satisfied. Mostly. 

But this night he wasn't much for testing her boundaries, Hook somber and serious, and expecting her to already be asleep at this late hour. She was not, Belle sitting on the windowsill, with only the light of the moon to illuminate her pale features. She stood up immediately when Hook entered the cabin, the woman making a nervous gesture with her hands, and it was too dark to truly see what her expression was. 

Wondering if it was similar to the relief and gratitude she had been showing earlier, or maybe her unease, Hook began shrugging out of his coat. "It's late. What are you doing still up?" 

"I..." She let out a deep breath, Belle then shrugging. "I couldn't sleep." 

"Oh?" 

"I keep thinking about today." Belle confessed. "About what happened." She hugged her arms around her, and Hook didn't need light to know she was feeling disturbed now "Every time I close my eyes, every time I hear his voice and I see the fighting, I think of what could have happened. What STILL could happen." 

"I won't let it happen. I won't let any of it happen." Hook was quick to reassure her. 

"I know you won't." Belle said. "But what if..." 

"Don't torture yourself thinking on what could happen." Hook said, an advice the pirate knew he should take for himself. 

"I wish I could but...but I'm still scared." Belle admitted, casting her gaze to the floor. Hook immediately stepped towards her, and it wasn't about boundaries, or playing games, when he put his arms around her. To his surprise, Belle responded by wrapping her arms around him, the woman needing comfort more than he had first realized. He hugged her as tight as he dared, but inwardly the problem remained. He was just as much at fault for Belle's fright, as his crew and Peter Pan were, and it didn't matter how much he did right by her, so long as Hook continued to refuse to escort her from Neverland. 

It made him want to say he was sorry, but what was his apology worth if Hook continued to refuse to do the one thing that could guarantee Belle's safety. He felt like a heel, lower than dirt, and the trembling Belle was doing only reinforced those bad feelings. 

The bad feelings weren't letting go of him, and neither was Belle, the woman actually clinging to him for comfort. Hook began to run his hand over the length of her hair, trying to soothe her with the petting as he tried to figure out what to say, what to do that could distract Belle from her fright. 

"Tell me again about Storybrooke." Hook felt her tense at his suggestion, the man wondering why speaking about her homeland always seemed to put Belle on edge. 

"What do you want to know?" She asked guardedly. 

"Whatever you feel like sharing." That seemed to relax some of her tension, Belle head bobbing in a nod as she stepped back from the hug. He didn't let her go far, Hook holding onto her hand, bringing her to sit with him as he lowered himself to the window's sill. There wasn't quite enough room there for both of them to sit side by side, so Hook shifted enough so that he could maneuver Belle to sit between his spread legs. She hesitated a moment, before settling against him with a sigh, her bottom pressed against his groin, the top of her head tucked under his chin. Her soft silky hair rubbed against his skin, the pleasing scent of it, of her, in his nose. 

Always aware of her, and how little she was truly wearing, it was difficult for Hook to not get aroused. Not even his melancholy mood, and the ghost of Milah haunting him could stop Hook from being attracted to Belle, and it was worse because she wasn't just beautiful in looks but in heart. He enjoyed her beyond looking at her, he liked her as a person, and found himself actually listening whenever she talked, no matter the subject. 

This night was no different, Hook trying to concentrate on her words instead of the feel of her body fitted against his. Belle was talking, but slowly, as though carefully choosing what she would say. He again wondered the reason why, and this night the answer came to him, or what Hook thought was the answer. 

It was such an obvious answer to, one Hook thought he had willfully blinded himself to, in order to alleviate his own guilt. It wasn't just Storybrooke Belle was missing, it was the people, the friends, family, maybe even a lover, she had been torn from. It was those people that were the most dear to her, that she longed for, and it was those people that left Belle hesitating to talk about, as if avoiding the subject of them would somehow make her pain less. Hook knew all about doing things to minimize one's pain, to try to avoid the wounds from tearing ragged from memories. He did it often enough with his own memories, with Milah and with Liam, instead only hanging onto his hate. 

The hatred for a King long dead, and for a monster not yet vanquished, had always fueled Hook's burning need for revenge. That revenge had soothed him, the idea of actually getting it a great comfort on nights where he would otherwise have been stricken by the pain. He wondered now what Belle thought of to keep her pain at bay, but more than that, he was morbidly curious, wondering just how many people Hook was helping to make suffer by keeping this woman from them. 

It wasn't healthy to wonder, and it wouldn't help with his guilt, and yet Hook couldn't stop himself from asking. "What about you, love?" 

"Me?" 

"You always talk about the town, and your books, but you haven't said very much about the people there." She went quiet at that, Hook giving her another verbal nudge. "I'm asking about you, about your family...your friends." 

"What about them?" The wary tone was back in her voice, Belle so hesitant to discuss this. 

"Well I am assuming you have them." Hook said, a slight smile to his lips. "You like talking too much to be a recluse." 

"I have friends...family..." She admitted slowly. 

"OH? Parents?" A slight nod, Belle clarifying that only her father was still alive. "I am sorry for your mother's loss." He said and meant it. 

"Thank you." Belle said, and was quiet another moment. "My father and I haven't been on the best terms lately. He...he did something I disagreed with greatly." But she didn't offer what that something was. "But truth be known, I understand now why he did it. Why he wanted to protect me from a decision I was making. I...do hope I'll get the chance to tell him that." 

Hook kept from flinching, Belle's words like a dagger to his heart. She couldn't have known what effect her words would have on him, Hook's guilt rising as he realized Belle would probably never get the chance to make up with her father. And it was Hook's fault as well as Pan's, the pirate keeping Belle in Neverland because he refused to abandon his revenge fueled quest. 

He didn't know what to say, and Belle's next words were just as gut wrenching to Hook. "I'm all he has left...." 

"You have no brothers, no sisters?" 

"No." She said. "And he was an only child. Mother was too. Our family has always been very small..." She shifted against him, seeking to change the subject. Her bottom wiggled slightly against him with her movements, Hook's guilt such that he didn't have to fight a groan at such a sensation. "What about you? Do you have any family?" 

"No. Not anymore." Hook acknowledge with a gruff undertone. "They're all long gone, and even if they weren't dead, they wouldn't have welcomed me back. Not after I became a pirate." 

"You gave up a lot to be a pirate...." She noted. 

"I'd have given up more to not be one." Hook countered. She made a puzzled sound, and he managed a grim smile. "I would have lost my self respect if I had stayed, my honor too. The life I had been living, the betrayals dealt me, had cost me my brother." 

"Brother?" 

"His name was Liam." Hook told her. "He was the original captain of the Jolly Roger." He grinned, and answered her before she could ask. "And no, he wasn't a pirate. He was as loyal as you could get to the King, and still be loved and respected by his crew." 

"What happened to him?" Belle asked, then hastily added. "If you don't mind my asking." 

"He was betrayed by the very King he was loyal too." Hook said, his voice more tired than furious. He wasn't allowing himself to think too deeply on the tragedy of Liam's death, didn't want old wounds stirred up with the remembering. "Liam died because he believed the King's lies...." 

"I'm sorry." Belle said it sincerely, and Hook actually kissed the top of her head. 

"Thanks for that, love." It was his turn to be quiet, Hook thinking on what he felt comfortable remembering. "I become a pirate out of a need for revenge, out of a need to make the king understand he couldn't just use us like that. I turned against the very kingdom I had once served, and I never regretted that decision." 

"Served?" 

"I was my brother's Lieutenant." Hook explained, imagining the wide eyed look she was surely wearing in response. "You wouldn't have recognized me back then. I was so....stiff shirt and formal, such a stickler for the rules and for what was proper. I wasn't half as loyal to the king, as I was to Liam, I idolized my brother, and so did our parents." 

"Your parents?" 

"Minor nobles from the House of Jones." Hook explained. "But then, I wouldn't have been able to raise in rank so high in the navy without a title to my name. I don't know if it has changed much in your Storybrooke, but back then, it wasn't hard work that earned you a position in the King's service, it was money and a good name." 

His lips curled, Hook sneering. "That money and good name wasn't for much once I brought dishonor to the family, by becoming a pirate. The King not only sent my brother Liam chasing after his death, he stripped my family of much, and declared ME a traitor to the crown." 

"Because you were a pirate?" Belle asked. 

"That and because I knew the truth." Hook told her. "The King had lied about our mission. He sent us to Neverland thinking one thing, when all the while he wanted the most deadly of poisons to be found in this realm. It was that poison that killed my brother, and it was that poison I denied the King access to." 

"Wait, what? You came to Neverland once before?" Belle had twisted to peer at him in the moonlight, her eyes wide with her shock. 

"Yes, though with a far different crew." He didn't mention that his old crew had known the secret to the ship, and how it was instrumental in not only traveling to Neverland, but leaving it, with bean or without. "Not all the men were eager to turn against the King, and the few who were, died off soon enough during the fighting. The king didn't make it easy for us to sail his waters, and he was especially furious that his plans for the poison couldn't actually come to fruition. He wanted to take over the entire realm, and the poison was strong enough to kill thousands if not millions with just a few drops." 

Belle shivered at that. "Fear not, love. He didn't get it. He died a nobody as far as history is concerned, a king who never amounted to much of anything worth mentioning." 

"You don't sound happy about that." 

Hook brushed her hair back, then shrugged. "I'm a vengeful type who wishes he had suffered more than just a comfortable death in his bed." She started shaking at that, and Hook couldn't understand why. "What's wrong, love?" He asked, caressing a hand down her back in an attempt to be soothing. 

"That vengeance scares me." Belle reluctantly admitted, trying to turn away from him. Hook caught her around the waist, and held her against him, not letting her get off the sill. 

"You'll never have to worry about my vengeance turning against you." His lips caressed her, as he whispered silkily in her ear. "Not when you're too pretty a soul to hurt." 

"Didn't seem to stop you in Storybrooke." She muttered almost too softly to be heard. 

"That wasn't me." Hook insisted, still speaking against her ear. "I can't imagine ever wanting to hurt you, and I wish you'd tell me why you don't think the same." 

"I guess it's hard to believe, given what I've seen, and what was done to me by someone who looked a lot like you..." She hesitated. "But I might be willing to admit you don't act much like the man who was in Storybrooke." 

"Then it's settled." He said, but knew it was not. "It wasn't me." 

"It wasn't you..." She said it, but sadly, as though whatever thought she was having hurt her. Hook didn't want her in pain, and he didn't want her scared, and so he tickled her side to distract her. She gasped, then let out a reluctant giggle, Belle struggling to get away. Hook held onto her, and continued to tickled his fingers over her ribs, until she was full out laughing and breathless, begging him to stop. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of those chapters that turned into a didn't want to end situation. It's funny cause last night I got up to the part where he tells her to tell him about Stroybrooke and my brain shut down for the rest of the night. XD Now today it just didn't want to stop, though I am unsure about my ending pargaraph, just because I tried to continue from it, and couldn't make write anything that sounded good. So I chose to end it where I did. now I am thinking next chapter will be a time skip by a day or two, so that Belle will have at least one of Milah's outfits modified to fit her. :) 
> 
> I actually really like this chapter for the most part! XD 
> 
> \---Michelle


	16. Sixteen

Trouble was nothing new to a pirate. It and danger went hand in hand with a life that was lawless, the seas not the only risk that a pirate faced. Other men, the nobility and the Kings that ruled them, and even with one's own crew, a pirate faced death from them on a near daily basis. It was doubly true for a pirate captain, whose worries extended beyond the division of a crew's plunder. He had to keep his crew fearing, had to keep them somewhat happy to an extent, and had to do it in a way that lent him their respect. 

The balance was becoming increasingly difficult to maintain, Hook's crew NOT happy. They weren't particularly respectful either, their fear and more importantly, their common sense, being eroded more and more as their longing to leave Neverland and their lusts became stronger. In response, Hook was having to become more ruthless and deadly, the man going to greater lengths to inspire fear in his crew. It was resulting in a lot of dead men, but the examples weren't exactly having the intended effect. His crew was either too stupid, too suicidal, or too desperate to have done with Neverland. 

It was woefully apparent to Hook that eventually he would have to kill most if not all of his crew. He just wondered if they would realize it themselves, and if they would seek measures to correct their behavior, or if they would redouble their efforts to kill him first. Hook was betting on the latter, which was a shame, as he didn't particularly enjoy killing but need necessitated need, and Hook needed to be alive more than he needed his crew to be. 

It was why two more days had passed with Hook making not one move towards the mainland. With no word sent, and with the Jolly Roger not sailed in any closer, the message was clear. His crew wasn't yet welcome back aboard it, and they might never be. It was a risky thing Hook did. And not just because his traitorous crew could be getting slaughtered one by one on the main land. But because the dangers they faced might not be enough to keep them distracted from plotting and planning against Hook in turn. 

It was just one more reason why a decision had to be made and soon, Hook weighing carefully what was better. To put up with their mutinous ways but have their assistance against Pan and his murderous Lost Boys, or end them, and face Pan and his band with what little remained of his crew aboard the Jolly Roger. It was no easy answer, and either way Hook had a feeling he'd be playing into exactly what Peter Pan wanted, what the brat had hoped for when he had brought Belle to Neverland. 

It was really quite astonishing that the brat hadn't thought to try this before. That he hadn't gone and kidnapped some other woman to thrust into the chaos that was Hook's life in Neverland. Was it coincidence that he had done it now, or did Hook dare hope it meant something more? That maybe it meant he was getting closer to finding the source of Neverland's ultimate magic, which in turn made Pan desperate enough to involve an innocent. 

It was a thought that should have bolstered Hook's hopes, but he allowed himself no such thing. He of all people knew better than to get one's hopes up in Neverland, especially when nothing of his research had hinted at his coming closer to finding that one bit of magic that Hook so desperately needed. He had plenty of magic locked away in his ship's hold, the talismans and amulets, weapons and artifacts infinitely more valuable to Hook than the gold and jewels that had been found besides them. But thus far none of what he had found, had even hinted at being strong enough to take on the Dark One, let alone kill him. 

Hook would keep on searching though. Searching for a way to have his revenge, a way to make the Dark One suffer, Hook not at all sure death was enough of a punishment for a man like Rumplestiltskin. But he wasn't sure what else to do, what other form his revenge could take. The Dark One didn't have many people left, and Hook couldn't imagine himself hurting the son that was one part Milah's. Nor could the pirate imagine the Dark One forming any real attachments to someone new, never mind that Rumplestiltskin had always seemed incapable of love, Hook just didn't believe in the idea of someone, anyone, genuinely loving the man. Dark one or no, Hook having had a very low opinion of Rumplestiltskin BEFORE he had so brutally murdered Milah in cold blood. 

Of course, Hook could admit it would be easier in one way if Rumplestiltskin did have someone. A person Hook could threaten. He wasn't sure he could kill an innocent, but then the woman who fell into bed with the Dark One would be anything but. Certainly Hook couldn't imagine a woman like Belle ever having feelings for a man like Rumplestiltskin. She was too sweet, too kind hearted and soft feeling, too good a woman to ever even consider wasting feeling on such a man. But then, she was too good for a lot of men, and Hook considered himself part of that, knowing Belle was right to shy away from him. It didn't stop him from wanting her, from lusting after her with a desire that grew stronger by the day, the shared intimacies he had enjoyed feeding into a fantasy, rather than stopping it dead in it's tracks. 

He was as bad as his crew in that, taking from Belle what he could, what little she felt comfortable giving. The looking, the touching, the insistence about holding her to him while they slept. And the private consideration that maybe he should set about to seducing her for real. But his heart held him back, or rather the fear of what she would do to it, what the loss of her would cause him to feel. Hook didn't mean to think of Belle's death as inevitable, but he also knew it to be nothing but foolish to not to be prepared for such an outcome. 

Of course he would do his best to protect her, to see that nothing bad ultimately happened to Belle. Well nothing worse than being trapped in Neverland. But the unshakeable fact remained, the longer Hook kept Belle in Neverland, the more she was at risk of being hurt or worse. And so was he, Hook acknowledged with a sigh, his gaze shifting towards the closed bathroom door where sounds of the cabin's archaic shower could be heard. 

She had been in there for the better part of twenty minutes now. Hook was doing his best not to imagine her naked state, with the shower's hot water, beading on her pale skin. It took real concentration just to avoid that imagery, and it also took just as much effort to not go over to the door, and have a peek in while she was unaware. Instead he tried to busy himself, focusing on his books of research, tidying up the bed, putting away the belongings that were usually left for Smee to see to. 

Not much was working, Hook unable to focus on the words in front of him, and his restless energy led him to making a greater mess than the one he had tried to put away. He was going a little stir crazy, and a lot of it had to do with the fact that Hook wasn't usually around when Belle was in the shower. An early riser by nature, Hook had never seen much point to lingering in bed once Milah had died. And yet that was exactly what he had found himself doing this very morning, Hook just laying there, wide awake and staring at a still sleeping Belle with an avid intensity. He had studied her features, ran trembling fingers over the side of her face. He had lingered the longest on her mouth, remembering the sounds she had made, the breathless giggling and gasping, the begging she had done, the night he had tickled her. He hadn't done it with mischief in mind, and he hadn't done it with any other real intent but to distract her, and yet he had been rewarded all the same. And alternatively tormented, Hook now having a very vivid idea of what Belle would sound like gasping out and begging for her pleasure. 

Such a sound had kick started a dozen fantasies in Hook's mind, the pirate captain haunted anew by thoughts of Belle. Hook realized he should have never tickled her, should have never overstepped bounds that far. But then the tickling wasn't even the worst of what he had done, Hook having opened up to her about his past, about his brother, about Liam's death and how it had affected him. That had bonded them closer together than the tickling had done, the fantasies relatively harmless compared to the closeness he had felt to her on the windowsill that night. 

A closeness that he still felt to her to some degree, Hook again sighing. He simply liked Belle a little too much, as both a person and as an attractive woman. Pan couldn't have picked a better bait for his trap, and suddenly Hook was throwing his book down in disgust. The sounds of the shower continued to mock him, Hook prowling restlessly about the room. He wasn't going to accomplish anything until Belle was done, and Hook wasn't going to have any success at avoiding playing the peeping tom if he was to remain in the room. So Hook did the only thing he could think of. He went to find Smee and make him hurry with delivering the morning's breakfast. 

He found Smee below deck, but the older pirate wasn't alone. Four of the crew, men who should have known better, had corned the older man near to the ship's kitchen. A tray and it's contents lay splattered on the floor, and Hook had no doubts that it was his and Belle's meal that lay ruined there. But any concern for the food was minimal, given the nature of what was going on. 

It hadn't yet come to blows, save for the initial ambushing and shoving of Smee. The pirates weren't intent on actually hurting him, at least not yet. But they weren't exactly interested in talking either, more jeers and insults than anything coming from their lips. It was the nature of their words that turned Hook's already menacing scowl into an expression that was beyond furious, the men demanding answers about Belle, about what Hook was doing with her, about if she was really a hot enough piece to be worth all the trouble they were giving the captain. 

Smee hadn't yet spotted Hook, the man too frightened to do much more than focus on the pirates before him. He was stammering, his face an odd mottled mix of white and red, Smee frightened and embarrassed by what the pirates were saying. He kept shaking his head, muttering weakly about how it wasn't his place to say, or that he didn't know what they were talking about. And still they persisted. So intent were they on Smee, not a single one turned at the sound of Hook's approaching footsteps, the men too stupid, too drunk to notice the purposeful quality to them. 

"Does she spread her legs for you too?!" One was demanding, shoving Smee back into the wall. "Is that why you won't say anything?!" 

"What?! No of course not!" Smee protested to no avail. The group had taken up the idea in their heads, and the air took on a deadlier feel, as the men grew jealous and resentful of what they thought Smee was getting. 

"It's not right." One said, glowering at Smee. "Not right at all." 

"Bet an old fart like you can't even give it good to a woman like her!" Another snapped, fumbling to draw his dagger. "Hope you enjoyed her..." He added. "Last time you'll ever, her or any other woman for that matter." 

Hook didn't wait to find out if the pirate meant to kill Smee, or simple castrate him, the captain lunging the last five steps towards the group. His hook found home in the pirate's back, just above the shoulder blade, the man screaming in pain. He wasn't the only one to scream, the others shouting out their shock and fury, Smee crying out in relief. 

"Captain!" 

His hook still buried in the flesh of the first pirate, the captain had taken time to draw his own sword. "Is there a problem here, lads?" Hook asked in a menacing tone. 

They looked at him, looked at the sword in his steady hand, and looked at the hook that was making sickening squelching noises as it tore free of their friend's back. That friend was screaming, cursing and trying to remain upright as blood poured down his back. They made no move towards him, even as he fell to his knees, the remaining three of the group having enough good sense to know to hold still. 

"Well?" Hook demanded with a snarl and an arch of his brow. His sword gleamed, catching light off the lit lanterns, and one of the pirates swallowed, eyeing it nervously. 

"No problem at all, captain, sir!" He said it quickly, not so foolish as to want to die. It seemed it was one thing to attack Smee, but another to attack an already armed and capable pirate like Captain Hook. 

It would have been a different matter all together, if Hook's sword wasn't drawn, if Hook's back had been to them. But in the close quarters of the narrow hall, there wasn't much hope of maneuvering, especially to get around and behind Hook, let alone to rush him three at once. At best they would have to face him two on one, at worst one at a time, the odds such that these men weren't fool enough to dance with the death that was almost assured to them at their captain's hand. 

A death Hook was almost bristling to deal out, the man still glaring. "Clean this mess up." He ordered, gesturing to the food that lay splattered on the floor. "And don't let me catch you pestering Smee anymore. About the woman, or about anything else for that matter!" 

The man on his knees kept screaming, the wound bleeding steadily out. It wouldn't kill him if they got him to the doctor to patch up, but Hook was in no mood to be that merciful. His clean sword ran red with blood and gore, Hook stabbing it into the man. Some but not all his rage bled out with him, Hook still furious, bothered by what had almost happened, and bothered by what they had been saying, asking, thinking, about Belle. 

With his back to the wall, Smee inched past the remaining three pirates, to scurry to Hook's side. His face was still that mottled color, the older pirate's eyes looking huge in their setting in his sockets. "Captain?" 

Hook didn't acknowledge him, save for the slightest of nods. He kept his eyes on the three pirates in front of him, two dropping to their knees to start in on cleaning up the mess they had helped make. But the third one hadn't moved, his pale skin a stark contrast to the anger and hostility that blazed in his eyes. 

"You didn't have to kill him!" He pointed out with a snarl. "You didn't..." 

"You don't get to tell me what I do or do not have to do." Hook roared back. "I AM your captain. And this is my ship! So long as you are onboard it, you will fall in line, or you will die!" 

"You're only captain for as long as you can hold on to it." The pirate retorted. "And you won't always be so lucky." 

"Maybe not." Hook acknowledged coldly. "But for right now? Lady Luck is firmly on my side in this. But please..." He gave a gesture with his hook, inviting the man to come closer. "Feel free to match blade against me if you dare." 

The pirate spat on the floor, lip curling in disgust. "It's not odds I be liking." 

"Yes, I realize that." Hook retorted. "It's far to fair for one thing." He gave a mocking laugh. "You much prefer four against one, don't you?" 

"Wouldn't have been much a fight." agreed the pirate. "But we weren't seeking to hurt him. Not really. We just wanted..." 

"Just wanted what!?" Hook demanded sharply. "What purpose could details about the woman and my dealings with her, serve you? Or are you looking for more to fire up your lusts and resentments? Hmmm?" 

"You can't stop us from wondering about her!" 

"Wonder all you like." Hook snarled. "It's about the only thing you'll get to have, where she is concerned." This time he gestured with his sword. "Now if we are through here, I've a breakfast to fetch." 

"Aye, we're through." The pirate said, but the words for now lingered heavily in the air between them. Hook and that manexchanged another heated look, and then with Smee at his back, he inched his careful way over to the door that led into the ship's kitchen. 

It wasn't until the door had swung closed behind them, that Smee turned around with clear relief in his eyes. "Captain!" 

"Save your thanks, Smee." He told him. "One of you is a dozen times more valuable to me than one of any of them." 

Smee nodded in understanding, and began to move towards the pots that lay bubbling in place on the kitchen's stove. Hook watched him, his gaze critical as he looked the older pirate over for signs of abuse. But his clothes were practically immaculate save for their wrinkled state, and Smee didn't have any visible cuts or bruises on him. 

Assured that Smee hadn't actually been harmed, Hook turned to another matter that was weighing on his mind. "Do they bother you often? About her I mean." 

"I...they...they're very curious." Is what Smee answered with. 

"Don't they know curiosity kills?" Hook asked, still watching Smee as the man busied himself with ladling out fish stew into two bowls. 

"I don't think they much care." Smee retorted. "They know they can't have her in the way that they want, so they think to settle for what they can have." 

"You mean until they think they can get it." Hook pointed out. Smee stiffened and turned at that, and Hook was surprised to see the man looking angry. It was an anger directed at Hook, and if this hadn't been Smee, the pirate would have already been drawing his sword. 

"You take needless risks!" Smee snapped at him, leaving Hook to blink owlishly at the man. "You shouldn't have..." 

"I shouldn't have what?" Hook demanded. "Shouldn't have come to your rescue? I should have let him kill you or worse?" 

Smee hesitated just a moment. "I'm not what's important here." Hook arched a brow at that, and Smee's color increased. "You can't be putting yourself in danger! In any more danger. Not when the lady depends on you." 

Smee had set down the bowls, and had begun to pace the length of the kitchen, his hands wringing together in agitation. "You KNOW what will happen to her, if something happens to you. It's a fate I don't wish on anyone." 

"I don't either." Hook said it quietly. "But Smee? You underestimate your own value if you think Belle and I can survive this on just our own." Smee turned puzzled towards him, Hook flashing him a grim smile. "How long do you think I'll last without a friend to watch my back? You may not be much of a fighter, but you're quick on your feet and have found other ways to help me out when the odds would otherwise see me dead. So please...don't put yourself down, and don't expect me to apologize or be sorry for what I did out there in the hallway." 

"I... understand." Smee said after a moment's hesitation. "And thank you captain. Not for the saving so much as for letting me be your friend." 

Hook nodded at that, and kept quiet as Smee finished gathering the morning's meal onto a new tray. And then, with his sword drawn, the pair stepped back out into the hallway. The body and mess was gone, and so were the three pirates, the men quick to retreat to where they thought would be safest. Hook had no doubt they were probably plotting and planning, but he didn't think they were sober enough to risk a confrontation just yet. And if he was lucky, their fear would keep them behaving for more than a few hours. It might even earn him a whole other day. 

Once that fear would have earned more than that. Once his crew had been loyal, and happy, content with the treasure they had plundered and found. At that time, mutiny had been practically unheard of, most of his crew too loyal, or too scared to dare go against him. It was different times now, with a ship whose treasure bogged it down, whose spoils mattered little when there was no place to spend it. The mutinies that had been once limited to just the boldest and bravest of the crew, happened too often now, with men who had no right or real desire to rule. 

Hook wasn't used to weakling and cowards attacking him, but that is what he had been putting up with for quite some time in Neverland. But then the biggest threats amongst his crew had already been disposed of long before Belle had arrived. And Hook thanked heaven for that! Because Belle's presence aboard the Roger might have been just the deciding factor needed for one of those now dead men to have successfully wrest control of the ship from Hook. 

The skilled players all dead, Hook now only had to contend with those who might get a lucky shot in. Their strength lay in numbers, and in their treacherous ways, and Hook could only count his lucky stars for every day he continued to survive. Smee was a big part of it, the older man quick and eager to help in what way he could. And not simply because he knew his chances of survival would plummet should Hook die, but because Smee was a true friend, a real prince among thieves. 

Smiling in a less agitated manner at Smee, Hook pushed open the door to the cabin. The sharp indrawn breath of Smee's instantly had Hook on alert, the pirate already moving to draw his sword for the third time this morning. Smee was still standing in the doorway, staring at something---someone, and Hook began to nudge him out of the way when he saw her. 

Belle. 

Dressed in a dress that was a mix of purple and blue colors, the beauty was a breathtaking and dazzling sight. Hook didn't quite gasp, though he did feel his nostrils flare as he took in and let out a deep breath. He hadn't been prepared for this, hadn't realized that Belle had finished altering one of Milah's dresses. And what a dress it was, form fitting with it's corset, and cut low enough to give a tempting swell to Belle's ample cleavage. The skirt had real bounce to it, in thanks to the many petticoats she wore beneath it. Short enough that when it bounced Hook caught sight of the white stockings she wore beneath it. She wasn't wearing any shoes though, Mila's either too large, or too small to fit Belle comfortably. 

Some of her hair was tied back with a simple ribbon, a pale lavender color that matched one of shades coloring the dress. Belle wasn't quite smiling, nervously running her hands over the dress's corset. 

"Is..is this one okay?" Belle finally asked, and it was all Hook could do to keep from staring at her for any longer. 

"It's fine." He said in a gruff tone, his gaze doing another quicker once over of Belle from head to toe. 

"More than okay!" Smee was saying, finally remembering how to talk and move. He was smiling broadly, setting the breakfast tray down on the table, but he could barely keep his eyes off Belle either. For the first time ever Hook felt a stab of irritation towards the older man, an honest to goodness jealousy as though he didn't want to share any of Belle, not even just the sight of her, with Smee. 

"It's good to see you dressed in clothing that befits a lady." added Smee cheerfully. "It must make you feel good to finally have something other than those shirts to wear." 

"It does lend itself to making me feel a bit more civilized." Belle acknowledge with a hint of a smile. "Heavens know I am grateful for the clothes." She glanced Hook's way, and nodded to him. "Thank you again. For letting me...." 

"Of course." Hook said, holding her gaze with his own heated one. An awkward silence followed, one Smee rushed to fill. 

"Sorry I took so long bringing breakfast." He was saying. "There was...a...a situation that needed to be seeing too." 

"Nothing serious I hope?" Belle inquired politely, moving towards the table and the meal set out on it. 

"Oh nothing you need to be worrying about!" Smee quickly assured her. "And nothing I couldn't have handled...with some help from the captain." 

Belle looked curiously back at Hook, but the man kept quiet. He wasn't about to disturb her with what had happened, with what his crew had been saying and asking. 

"I thought you had gone for the day." Belle finally said, when it became apparent Hook wasn't going to say anything. 

"You're not rid of me just yet, love." Hook told her. It was a genuine smile she rewarded him with, the news almost as good a mood inspiring as the change in her wardrobe had been. 

"Good," Belle said, and sat down at the table. "Because I would miss terribly our conversation if you had gone." 

"If that will be all?" Smee was grinning, a ridiculously sly and overly pleased expression. Hook shot him an annoyed look before answering, hoping beyond hope that Smee wasn't getting the wrong idea about the nature of Hook and Belle's relationship. 

"I'll come get you if there's need." Hook said, knowing Smee wouldn't go too far from the cabin. Especially after what had almost happened. 

"Then by all means, enjoy." Smee gave a stiff bow that was almost comical in how ridiculously low his forehead went to the floor. "I'll be back later to clean up." 

"And for our card games?" Belle inquired with a hopeful tone that let them all know just how excited she was over such a simple thing. Hook tried not to frown, realizing it was a sign of how bored and lonely Belle must feel, trapped in his cabin, and not something that hinted of any real personal feelings for Smee. 

"Of course." Smee said, still wearing that too pleased grin. "Now if you'll excuse me..." 

The cabin door shut behind him, and Hook stood near to it, still staring at Belle almost stupidly. He hadn't realized how used he had gotten to the shirts, or how appealing a clothed body could be. Especially one built like hers, with the petite waist, and ample curves. It helped that it wasn't a dress that Milah had worn often, but then she had been too taken with the leathers he had gifted her with. 

A dress like this was one Milah might have worn as a disguise to go into town with. Something above a peasant, but not quite rich enough to be a noble. More like the daughter of a rich, titleless merchant. Milah even had a few embroidered gowns, the likes of which she and Hook had once used to pull off a heist in a King's castle during a coronation ball.

Truth be known Hook had been expecting Belle to choose one of those rich and heavy gowns, rather than the light and pleasing dress she had gone with. But then he supposed the embroidery of the gowns would have made it more difficult to make adjustments to such a dress. Especially if one didn't want to ruin it! 

"Are you...are you going to sit down any time soon?" Belle asked, and he caught sight of her eyes, the blue dancing with her unvoiced mirth. 

Minx! Hook thought to himself, realizing that Belle had caught on to the effect she was having on him. But he couldn't be mad about it, or at her, Hook nodding slowly, and trying not to appear too eager as he made for the chair to the right of her. As was his usual desire, Hook insisted on sitting next to Belle rather than across from her, the sides of their bodies touching with accidental brushes whenever one of them moved a little. 

"You had a late start today." Belle noted out loud. Hook didn't so much as blink, let alone color in embarrassment. Instead he nodded slowly, taking a long sip of the cider. 

"Couldn't seem to get up." 

"Have you not been sleeping well?" Belle asked, stirring the stew with a spoon. 

"My sleep has never been better." Hook told her, and watched the color seep into her cheeks at the next thing he said. "I hadn't realized by how much it would be improved, until I was holding you in my arms." 

She quickly spooned up a mouthful of the fish stew, purposefully avoiding responding to what he had said. "What was the thing you had to help Smee with?" Belle inquired after swallowing down some of the stew. 

"It was nothing really." Hook said it in a tone that hinted strongly to drop this line of thought. Belle frowned in response, looking as though she would argue so Hook quickly tried to change the subject. "The dress really does suit you...." 

"I've always been drawn to these colors." Belle confided. "Especially blue." 

"It does bring out your eyes." Hook said, casting another admiring glance at Belle. She flushed even pinker, and looked down at her bowl. They'd eat in silence for another few minutes, but Belle was clearly thinking about something. Her fidgeting gave it away, her body brushing against Hook's often enough. 

"Did it bring out Milah's eyes too?" She finally asked, and Hook nearly choked on his mouthful of stew. 

"What makes you ask that?!" He demanded, and she shrugged. 

"I don't really know anything about her." Belle said, still fidgeting. "I don't even know what she looked like, let alone what kind of person she was. In fact, all I really know is that she was killed, and the effect it had on you." 

"Aye." Hook said softly. "Her passing devastated me." 

"It still does." Belle noted, and lifted her arm so that she could place her hand over his. "Your a man who feels strongly. Milah and your brother, they affected you so much." 

"Both in life and in death." Hook told her. 

"They shaped you...shaped you into the man you are." Belle continued, still touching his hand. "Please...I want to know that man...." 

Hook felt caught in her earnest, pleading gaze, a part of him wanting to do exactly what she asked. But that part was at war with the rest of him, Hook still fearing to let down his walls any farther than he already had. 

"I'd rather talk about you." Hook said, trying to deflect the topic. 

"Me?" He watched her frown, Belle instantly on alert and wary. "I've told you so much..." 

"You haven't begun to tell me enough." countered Hook. He missed the warmth of her hand as she took it away from him. 

"I'm hardly that interesting." Belle made her feeble protest. 

"Let me be the judge of that." Hook retorted. "Please?" 

Again she fidgeted, clearly giving heavy thought to what he asked. "All right." She said, but then Belle's eyes took on an impish light. "But only if you agree to my bargain." 

"Bargain?" Now Hook was the one who was wary. "And what's that?" 

"For every question I answer, you have to answer one of my own!" She leaned back in her chair, a triumphant look upon her face. Hook wondered if Belle thought she had deflected his interest, or if she was certain he was about to agree to this little bargain of hers. She hadn't, Hook more curious than ever as to the things Belle so clearly didn't want to talk about. 

But Hook wasn't sure he was any readier to talk about his own secrets. He had to weigh carefully what he wanted more of. To know all Belle had to hide, or to guard himself completely from falling any further into a bond with her. 

To that end, he begged some time to consider her proposal. Belle looked a mix of disappointed and relieved, nodding that he could take his time in deciding. 

\----------------------------------------------------------------------- 

To Be Continued.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my, this chapter turned into one that didn't want to end. It was also a pain to write. This is the fourth attempt you are reading....I have struggled with sixteen for like two weeks. The first two drafts while I liked them, I felt they were doing a disservice to the story to have Hook lusting THAT hard that soon. The third attempt with the toned down lust acknowledgement, I just felt was such crap. Finally last night I was able to start the fourth attempt, and was very happy in the morning when I read over what I had written. 
> 
> The other thing that set me back big time for this fic is medical related. My two pain pills I am on, don't seem to be working that well anymore. Which means it gets hard to concentrate depending on how bad the pain in my legs is being. =/ 
> 
> I also feel frustrated, cause I wish I could have written at least for another fic...but between the pain and the stressing and struggling over sixteen, I didn't get ANY other writing done. Woe is me...but I am happy with this chapter for the most part! Hoorah! 
> 
> I also want to thank all the readers, new and old for coming out to leave me such awesome reviews! Made me more determined than ever to get this troublesome chapter written! 
> 
> \----Michelle


	17. Seventeen

There wasn't much good that could be said about Neverland. It was a dangerous land filled with peril both native and foreign to the realm, with death and worse threatening from every corner of the world. Sometimes it seemed that the endless amount of time was to be the only thing that could ever in any way be considered good about the place. And even that was in doubt, eternity hardly that appealing when one considered that Belle had to remain pretty much trapped inside a single room aboard Hook's ship. It helped that the room was spacious, a cabin large enough that one could comfortable roam the length of it. Belle kept fit by walking often, to the point she wouldn't have been surprised if her feet wore a path into the floor's thin carpeting. 

The pacing took up a fair bit of time, but that wasn't all that Belle did. She had explored Hook's belongings, looking through the various chests and items scattered about as both a means as distraction, and in the vain hopes of some clues about the man himself turning up. But aside from the fact that he seemed to love leather, Belle hadn't learnt anything that she couldn't have found out easily from the man himself. There wasn't even a private journal to be found, at least not the kind detailing Hook's private thoughts and feelings on his life, and the people near and dear to him. 

Instead what writings she had found, all had to do with Hook's research, his endless, obsessive quest for a magic strong enough to destroy the Dark One. Belle had on occasion, turned a curious eye to such research, interested as to how close Hook was to accomplishing his goals. She didn't seem to find anything promising, but then she hadn't really been expecting it. The Hook back in Storybrooke hadn't acted as though he had any definite way of killing Rumplestiltskin, going instead to great lengths to target the people and things closest to the man. 

Belle couldn't help but think about the man she had briefly known back in Storybrooke. He was so different from the man who was so intent on protecting her here in Neverland. The man in Storybrooke had been menacing, actively threatening her, looking at her with eyes that had run dark with malice and hate. And under them had been an ever present current of raw pain. The look of a man whose heart had not only been broken, it had been destroyed. Belle saw none of the malice and hate with the Hook of Neverland, though she did at times bear witness to his pain. But the pain didn't seem to be on par with the level of pain Hook had worn in Storybrooke. As though something or someone had reopened the wound, made it worse than it had ever been. Belle wondered about that, over what could be the cause, at what would be the catalyst for making Hook so crazed with it. 

She was missing something, some vital piece that was the reason behind the difference between the Hook of Neverland's past and that of Storybrooke's present. It left her brimming with more than curiosity, Belle liking the Hook of the past enough to want to do something to help him. She didn't want him destroyed by his pain, or by Rumplestiltskin's own hand, and yet Belle didn't know what to do to keep the change from happening in Hook. A small smattering of common sense even told her that Belle shouldn't be meddling any more in the past, that her arrival in Neverland had seen enough disturbance done to the timeline. But it was difficult to actually listen to that voice, Belle's heart having gone out to the pirate, to the point she was reasoning that with the damage already done, some further meddling couldn't hurt much. 

To that end she was almost looking forward to seeing if her attempts at a bargain bore fruit. Belle was eager to learn more, to learn every detail she could, and not just about Milah now. She was curious about Hook himself, about the kind of man he had been, the kind of life he had been living. She wanted to know HIM, both because Belle liked Hook and because of her desire to want to save him. She just wished there wasn't a price attached to the knowing, Belle holding in a sigh. Hook it seemed, was just as curious about her as Belle was about him, and while that in itself was flattering, it was also troubling. She already had enough difficulties keeping his curiosity satisfied without betraying too much, giving Hook just enough of the truth to keep him from guessing Belle had been lying about when and where she had really come from. 

Of course the truth was a bit too fantastic to be guessed at or believed. Time travel magic was pretty much unheard of. Certainly Belle hadn't known such a thing was possible until it had happened to her, and the fact that she was still stuck in Neverland's past hinted strongly that Rumplestiltskin was just as at a loss about what to do in regards to the beauty's predicament as she herself was. Sometimes Belle wondered if she would ever get back to her home in Storybrooke, but until then she was determined to make the best of her time in Neverland. Even if it meant being bored out of her mind for the bulk of her days. 

She wasn't just bored, Belle was lonely. Hook might be captain of the ship, but as he had already explained to her, certain appearances had to be kept up. The crew was making enough assumptions about the nature of her and their captain's dealings, and it would only antagonize them more if they believed Hook was taking every opportunity to slack off to spend time bedding Belle. They apparently had no such suspicions about Smee, for the older man was constantly able to sneak time away from his duties for a round or two of cards. 

The near daily card games were a highlight in hours that would otherwise be completely dull, Belle enjoying learning the various rules of the many different types of games one could play with cards. She was even proving pretty good at most of them, her sharp mind keen on grasping the subtle intricacies of the games Smee had taught to her. More often than not, she won those games, though not without Smee making it exceedingly difficult to pull off such a victory. 

Today however, Belle could not claim such a thing. Her mind simply wasn't on the game, the woman staring at the cards held in her hand without truly seeing them. She was barely aware of Smee casting her concerned looks, Belle absentmindedly biting at her bottom lip. Her thoughts just kept drifting to Hook, to her curiosity about him, her desire to help heal him, and also to the bargain she was trying to make. It left her distracted and nervous, her skill at the game so nonexistent that Smee had won four hands in a row before he was suddenly throwing his cards down on the table. 

"Belle, what is troubling you, my lady?" 

Startled, she almost didn't register the words. "Nothing is wrong." She said in an unconvincing manner. Smee shook his head in response, and actually tsked under his breath before speaking. 

"And yet there is something clearly on your mind." He pointed out, and such was Belle's distraction that she spoke without giving true consideration to her words. 

"Just thinking about your captain." 

She didn't quite realize what she had said, what implications there might be in such an admission until Smee's expression turned to one of a good natured grin. His concerned had receded, the man not just relieved, he was overly pleased. Belle could only blink in confusion at him, wondering what had made him so happy, so smug, and then her words registered, the woman starting to color in embarrassment. 

"Don't uh....Don't get the wrong idea." She started to warn in a stammering manner. "The captain and I are just...." 

"Just friends I know." But Smee was still grinning. "But who knows what the future will hold for you both?" 

"Nothing more than friendship." Belle stated firmly. Again Smee shook his head in protest, Belle then speaking louder than she intended to in response. "I mean it! He and I...it just...it just isn't going to happen....like that I mean." 

"And why not?" Smee inquired, his eyes taking on a curious focus that missed none of Belle's blush or her fidgeting. "You're good for him, Belle. He actually relaxes when around you, actually smiles when with you. Why I dare say I see the man Hook might have been before he lost his Milah, and it's thanks to you that he seems to be enjoying living life again." 

"I think you're exaggerating the effect I have on him." Belle protested. 

"Do I?" Smee called it into doubt. "But anyone can see...with you here, he hasn't had much time for thoughts of revenge." 

"If he hasn't had time for those thoughts, it's because he's too busy trying to keep control of his crew!" 

"His crew has been causing trouble for longer than you've been in Neverland." Smee retorted. "Your presence here has only exacerbated the situation." 

"Well, see?" Belle was quick to try and distract Smee from his thoughts about her and Hook. "I'm making the situation worse not better." 

"Through no fault of your own!" Smee insisted. "Neither I, nor the captain blame you, and you shouldn't either." 

Belle shrugged in reply, pointedly turning her attention to the cards in her hands. But Smee didn't take the hint. 

"Do you...not like the captain?" He inquired, his worry making the words come out in a hesitant matter. 

"I like him just fine." Belle said, then firmly added. "As a friend." 

"Well that's good." Smee was still surprisingly enthusiastic. To the point Belle eyed him with suspicion. "Friendship is the perfect basis to build a relationship's foundation upon!" 

"Smee...." Belle groaned in response, setting down her cards. 

"He's attracted to you, you know." Smee stated bluntly. "He's barely been able to keep his eyes off you, and that was before he saw you in that dress." 

"I'm the first woman he or any of you for that matter, have seen in some two hundred years!" Belle exclaimed. "Of course he would be...affected by my presence." 

"You talk as if any woman would do." Smee frowned. "But the captain's not like that! You're special to him Belle, have been for a while now." 

"You're imagining things." Belle said in response. But inside she was nowhere as certain as her voice would have Smee believe. Because Belle had also seen how Hook had looked at her, how he had made any excuse to touch her. It wasn't conceit that made Belle think Hook liked her, or that he was attracted to her for more than just friendship. 

"Am I?" challenged Smee. "Did I imagine how furious he was when that brat threatened you? Hmmm?" Belle could only shrug in response, the woman not sure how to counter that bit of fact. "Belle please..." 

"Just what are you asking me to do?" She demanded heatedly. 

"I'm not asking for any more than you're willing to give." Smee said it pleadingly. "I just want you to keep an open mind...about the nature of your relationship with him. To let your heart be open for something more. It's not so bad is it?" He asked her when she said nothing in response. "To want love over that mad quest for revenge that is most likely to get him killed...." 

"No..no, choosing love is almost never wrong." Belle agreed quietly. "But even if I could give it to him, you're assuming he would want it..." 

"The captain's no fool." His tone was blunt. "For the love of a good woman like you? Why he'd walk through fire." 

Belle didn't think she could get any redder from this conversation, her attention once again being studiously fixed on her hand of cards. She nearly jumped out of her skin, when Smee's hand covered hers, the man taking the cards from her. 

"Friendship...friendship is nice, but it won't get you, get any of us home any sooner." He said it quietly, his eyes looking more serious than ever she could remember seeing them. "Belle, you stand to do so many great things. If you were willing, if you let the idea of love into your heart and his, you'd not only heal him, you'd most likely save his life." 

"I'm not just talking in terms of his revenge against the Dark One." Smee continued when Belle said nothing. "He's in far more immediate danger of dying by Pan or his own crew." 

"You don't approve of his quest?" 

"I..." Smee hesitated. "It's not a matter of if I approve or not. I want what's best for him." 

"And you think that's me?" Belle inquired, but she didn't smile to lighten her question. 

"I believed it with all my heart." Smee insisted. "He needs you Belle. Maybe more than you need him." 

She couldn't quite keep the shiver from rolling through her, Belle unsettled by Smee's words. "He still loves her." She didn't know where those words had cpme from, but it was a valid point to make. 

"Aye, and I suspect a part of him always will. But she's gone now, and two hundred years is too long a time for any one man to mourn." 

Belle found herself abruptly blinking back moisture, the tears unexpected even as she gave him a trembling half smile. "You have an answer for everything don't you?" 

"About what the captain needs?" Smee asked, fumbling to withdraw a cloth from his pocket. "I usually do...." 

She gratefully took the cloth from Smee, and used it to dab at her face, mopping up the few tears that had fallen despite her wishes. Again that concerned look was in Smee's eyes, but there was something else there. A smidgeon of earnest hope that Belle had never noticed before when looking at Smee. He was placing all of his hope for himself and for his captain on Belle, wishing with all his might that she was the key to Hook's heart healing. 

Smee's hope made her feel uncomfortable, as though a great weight had been placed on her shoulders. Because Belle was certain she couldn't do what Smee hoped for, at least not in the way he was suggesting. She wanted to heal Hook, wanted to save him, not just from himself, but from the revenge that was destroying him. But she couldn't love him, not in the way Smee was asking for. She wasn't from this time, this place, and Belle didn't know how much more things would change in the timeline if love was allowed to enter into the equation. It made her head hurt to think about, and if Belle was honest, there was even a small pang of protest inside her, the woman having learned to like Hook more than she had ever once thought possible. 

She wasn't yet in any way considering her feelings to be love, Belle firm in her decision to keep Hook in the friend zone. But it hadn't yet occurred to her that friendship was another form of love, just like family was. She cared for Hook, liked him, and had gone from tolerating him to actively depending on him for more than just protection. Belle wanted to repay Hook for his kindness and consideration, and a part of her argued that the timeline didn't matter as much as she had once thought. 

It left her torn, conflicted on what to do, on how much to do. Belle knew a little about paradox, enough to know she was playing with fire. Belle had a feeling she could set off something catastrophic, the ripples in the timeline reverberating and causing an untold amount of damage. Even healing Hook might be doing too much, and a part of Belle knew she shouldn't be meddling any further than she might have already done. 

Belle kept in her sigh, trying again to concentrate on the card game. Her mind refused to stop it's troublesome way of thinking, and now she had Smee's words echoing in her mind too. The old pirate himself would win two more hands against hers, and he grinned not in mocking victory, but with the hope that his words had gotten through to her. 

They'd play four more rounds of cards, with Belle maintaining a distracted silence. She didn't come close to winning even one time, and by the time the knock on the door sounded, the doctor's interruption was almost welcome. Almost. Belle nodded her greetings to Connor, but she wasn't exactly thrilled to see him. Neither was Smee, the old pirate having no great like for the doctor. 

"What do you want, Connor?" Smee asked, in a less than friendly tone. The doctor looked at Smee, and the dislike between the men was apparent, Connor despising the pirate as much as he did his captain. 

"Why don't you run along, Smee." Connor suggested in a bored, nasally tone. "I'm sure your captain has something or other he needs you to do." 

"Not when I'm on break!" retorted Smee, crossing his arms over his chest. "The captain gives me leave to spend it how I see fit, and nothing short of an emergency will get that to change." 

"He doesn't need you to baby sit the lady any longer." The doctor retorted. "Heaven knows she's in no more danger from me, than she is from you." 

"Belle and I are in the middle of our game." Smee snapped. He started to say more, something about how the doctor wasn't welcome to join in, but then Belle placed a hand on his arm. 

"It's all right, Smee." She said. "I'm sure Doctor Connor wouldn't interrupt unless he had something important to say." 

"Or do," Connor corrected her gently. "I need to check on your wound, make sure that cut Pan inflicted on you isn't getting infected." He gave a cold look to Smee. The pirate gave one back that was just as cold, Smee looking like he had no intention of doing what the doctor wished. 

"Do you intend to interfere with my medical duty?" Connor demanded angrily. 

"Of course not." Smee snapped. "But I don't see why you can't be doing it when I or the captain is present." 

"Your captain trusts me to be a professional." The doctor retorted. 

"Professional ass is more like it." Smee grumbled. 

"Smee!" 

"Begging your pardon, my lady." Smee said to Belle. "But I'd sooner trust a snake than I would the likes of him." 

"That's rich, considering what you are!" The doctor growled. 

"Please, if you're both going to fight, I suggest you do it outside." Belle said in a prim tone of voice. The doctor looked horrified at the idea of it, shaking his head no. 

"Absolutely not. I wouldn't sully my hands or my reputation as a gentleman on the likes of him!" 

"Gentleman?! Ha!" mocked Smee. "The only gentleman onboard this ship is the captain, and don't you be forgetting it." 

"That savage?!" The doctor began, eyes flashing with his anger and annoyance. "Don't be absurd. He's not half the..." 

"Enough!" Belle said firmly, hands on both of her hips. "I will not stand for this arguing a second longer. If you won't leave, then I WILL." 

"Belle, you know it's too dangerous for you to do that!" protested Smee, alarmed and instantly chastised. 

"Indeed, that's the one thing this barbarian and I agree on!" added Connor with a nod of his head. 

"Then please. Do as I ask. Stop this fighting, or leave, BOTH of you." She said, and the doctor and Smee exchanged unhappy looks. 

"Fine, I'll go.' Smee grumbled, his upset visible. "Heaven knows he's not aiming to do the same any time soon." He gave the doctor another fierce look, and shook a finger in Connor's face. "But don't you be causing the lady any undue distress. Or you'll answer to the captain and to me!" 

"Lord knows we wouldn't want that." Connor muttered nastily under his breath. He began opening his black satchel, rifling through the contents inside in an all too dismissive manner. Belle ignored him in turn, touching Smee's arm as she voiced her thanks to him for being the more sensible man in ending things before the arguing got any more heated. 

"Just remember..." Smee said. "I'll be just outside. If he gets fresh in any way, don't hesitate to call for me." 

"I won't." Belle promised, inwardly amused at the idea. After all, Doctor Connor had never given her any reason to fear him, and she had been alone with the man often enough. Sometimes too often, Belle not really liking Connor much more than Smee did. Especially after his last visit, when he had annoyed her to the point she had kicked him out of the room. 

"Well Connor?" Belle asked, after the door has closed behind Smee. "Was all that really necessary?" 

"Absolutely it was." Connor said, and abruptly closed his satchel with a firm snap. He turned towards Belle, and the beauty was taken aback by the excitement swirling in those beady eyes of his, Connor looking more alive than she could ever remember having seen him. 

"Wh...what's going on?" Belle asked, more than a tad nervously. Belle was instantly on alert, wondering if she would have to yell for Smee and quickly. 

"I have monumental news!" Connor stepped towards her, visibly vibrating with that exited energy. His hands closed around hers, the man clasping them together as he smiled at her. Belle didn't smile back, uncertain and uneasy as to what was going on, and what he could possibly have to tell her. 

"Here, here..." He said, half dragging Belle over to the table where the cards lay scattered over it's surface. "You need to be sitting for this!" 

"Sitting for what? The examination?" 

"No, no...that's not at all why I am here. That was just an excuse to get him out of the room." Connor said, a broad grin twisting his lips into a smug, smirking expression. "Damn fool can't be trusted. Most of them can't." 

"Most?" Belle inquired sharply, knowing that normally Connor considered ALL the pirates untrustworthy. 

"He'd go tattling to that beloved captain of his the first chance he got." Connor told her, seeming oblivious to her tone of voice, and Belle's unease. "And we can't have that. No...not until you've played your part." 

"My part?" Belle echoed uneasily. She tried to jerk her hands free of Connor's, but the man held on, still smirking. "What are you..." 

"You're going to get us all home!" Connor announced with a fair share of satisfaction and relish. 

Belle started to relax just a little, letting out a deep, sighing breath. Was Connor thinking like Smee had? Thinking the way home lay with Belle and Hook falling in love? "Connor, I already told Smee. The captain and I are just friends..." 

Connor blinked. "How can you be friends with the likes of him? No...no don't tell me. I know, need necessitates need. Well you won't have to put up with him for much longer if you're lucky. If we're all lucky." 

Belle froze at that, all her attempts to get free stilling as the color began to drain out of her face. "We? Whose we? And what do you mean by lucky?" 

The doctor seemed not to realize Belle's renewed unease, smiling that broad grin again. "They've offered us a deal!" 

"They?" Belle parroted in an anxious manner. 

"Jon Silver." Connor clarified. "More than half the crew is ready to unite under this man." 

"And...and you think they will win against Hook?" Belle asked, renewing her struggles to get her hands free. 

"I have to." Connor said, a rare moment of gravity making his smirk go away. "It's the only hope I, you, have of getting back to our home." 

Uneasy, Belle managed to get one hand free. "I wouldn't throw my fate into their hands. Captain Hook has proven more than adequate at quelling all mutinies." 

"True enough." acknowledge the doctor. "But times are changing. They've never been more motivated, and never closer to putting an end to Hook's tyranny." 

"That so called tyranny is the only thing that's saved ME." Belle pointed out angrily. 

"The one honorable thing that wretch might have done." Connor grudgingly acknowledged. "But no matter, Captain Jon Silver will be your new protector." 

"I don't want or need a new protector!" Belle said, and shoved at Connor with her free hand. He stumbled back, her left hand slipping free of his clammy grip. "And you shouldn't want it either!" She rushed past him, but the doctor proved surprisingly agile, his arm catching her around the waist, as he hauled her against him. 

"Don't act the fool, and listen to me!" He hissed in her ear. "Jon and his crew are offering a deal, the likes of which we won't get another chance at. And all you have to do, is continue as you have been with Hook." 

"What and betray him, the man who has gone out of his way to keep me safe?!" Belle mocked, and started to open her mouth to scream for Smee. Connor's cold, clammy hand muffled her cry, rendering her wild scream into nothing more than a slight whimper. 

"He's not doing it out of the goodness of his heart." spewed Connor. "He wants you just as much as any of Jon's crew does." Belle made an infuriated sound, which Connor talked over. "Make no mistake, Hook will take from you if he hasn't already." She started matching her struggles to the angry energy inside her, Belle wild as she tried to get free. 

"I know this must be unthinkable, distasteful even...but think at what you have to gain." Connor continued, panting as he fought with her. "You'll get to go back to your home in Storybrooke in a matter of a few weeks time, rather than spend an uncertain eternity here in this hell. " 

Belle growled under his hand, and tried to kick backwards at his legs. He yelped as her foot connected with his knee, his grip on Belle loosening a margin. "Listen to me, woman! Jon WILL protect you. You won't have to fear the pirates anymore! And all you have to do is seduce out of Hook the secret he's been guarding. The secret to leaving Neverland!" 

"Never!" Belle snarled as she bit down on the hand over her mouth. Connor cried out in pain, Belle tasting blood as she broke free of the doctor's arms. She didn't even pause to look back at him, already making for the cabin door, ready to run out on deck and face the pirates if it meant getting away from the mad doctor. 

She began to shout for Smee, the doctor grabbing her by the arm again. Whirling her to face him, the man's skin mottled red with his anger as he all but spat in her face. "You're not going to get a better deal than this!" He was saying. actually shaking her. "This is OUR only chance...." 

The door to the cabin was kicked open, Belle nearly crying out with relief. Connor stiffened immediately, his white knuckled hands still holding onto Belle's arms. He was close enough to her, that it looked as if he was doing more than just shouting. The situation already tense, was easily misread, Hook barreling into Connor before Belle could so much as blink. 

\---------------------------------------------------------------------- 

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I am feeling frustrated. I mostly like this chapter, but the Connor Belle scene deviated a lot. I couldn't seem to write it without Belle being more argumentative, and confrontational. Originally I wanted her to listen, and then move to jerk away and dismiss him, and he grabs her arm, and Hook enters and misreads the situation, and feels jealous of Connor. The jealousy was suppose to carry in to what was gonna happen next chapter....now I have to do some tap dancing, and adjust my plans accordingly....nothing too major, knock on wood... 
> 
> I just hope I haven't messed up all my scenes for what was to happen now....I was really counting on jealousy to be a heavy theme in Hook's thoughts for the upcoming stuff...damn damn, double damn.... 
> 
> Anyway, not really a Hook Belle chapter, but I was trying to set up some stuff, thoughts wise but also plot wise. Hope it was a good chapter even without much (or any) Hook Belle interactions. 
> 
> \------Michelle


	18. Eighteen

The waters of the Never Sea ran wild around the Jolly Roger, causing the ship to bob and weave about as it fought against it's own anchor. His crew was already in the middle of pulling free of it, muscles straining as they worked to drag the heavy weight onboard the ship. It would have been a task made all the easier if there had been more hands available on deck, but with most of the pirates still trapped on the mainland, Hook's remaining crew had to make do. Even their captain lent a hand, Hook standing at the end of a line of pirates struggling with the anchor's chain. 

It was like this that Hook noticed Smee pacing near to the captain's quarters, a very unhappy and agitated look upon the older man's face. Hook's own muscles flexed and strained under his coat, the pirate wondering why Smee wasn't with Belle. He still had at least ten minutes of his break left, and Smee had always been one to spend every minute entertaining the lady with his games. 

It was unusual enough that a puzzled Hook released his hold on the chain. It wasn't too noticeable a difference, and only a few grunting complaints were voiced. Hook snapped at his crew to keep at it, and that the storm showed no signs of dissipating any time soon. It was almost comical how they all shuddered at that, several of the men glancing skyward to look at the ominous storm clouds that floated overhead. The sky was almost ready to burst open, and the sea was reacting to approaching storm, becoming increasingly violent, it's waves growing bigger by the minute. 

It was really the worst time for anything more to happen, and the crew itself had put aside their differences with Hook, so that all could work together to ready the ship. The sails had already been taken down and secured, the great white canvases rolled together to avoid the wind tearing them to shreds. Once the anchor was successfully pulled, the Jolly Roger would be sailing away from the main land, and the rocky pitfalls that lined it's shallows and shores. 

His mind on the storm, and ensuring that the Jolly Roger survive it at all cost, Hook began to approach Smee with the intent of putting the older man to work. Smee saw him coming, his mouth opening to say something, when over the wind they both heard it. A woman's scream. It sounded a second time, Belle shouting for Smee's help, and Hook was already moving, covering the distance to the door in a matter of seconds. 

Vaguely he was aware of Smee following close behind, the man shouting something that was lost to the wind, and to the way Hook crashed through the cabin's door. He took just seconds to register what was going on, seeing Belle trying to twist free of the doctor's grip. Connor was red faced and angry, leaning into Belles' face, and seeming intent on her lips. A rage over took him, Hook beyond livid at seeing Connor manhandling Belle. Without even thinking he flew forward, barreling body first into Connor's, the doctor being knocked away from Belle, but not before he succeeded in wrenching a cry of pain from the beauty. 

The idea of Belle in pain, made an already enraged Hook see redder, his fist pulling back to then lash forward, striking the doctor square in the face. He felt bone break under his knuckles, the doctor suffering a devastating blow to the nose. Hook didn't stop there, punching him a second time, and a third, viciously pummeling Connor as his fist turned red with the man's blood. 

Connor didn't just lie there and take it. He screamed and he howled, and batted at Hook's body with both of his fists, his fingers then trying to get a purchase on the pirate's face. Hook knew what Connor was attempting, and the pirate refused to hold still for the doctor's attempt to blind him, a snap sounding as an arm broke under the captain's onslaught. Connor continued to beat at Hook with his other arm, but the frantic punching was having no effect. Nothing was, Connor screaming, Smee shouting, and then Belle's voice registered, the woman dropping to her knees, and grabbing at both of Hook's arms. 

"Don't kill him!" She was shouting at Hook, and that was startling enough that the pirate captain stopped. Easily holding Connor down with his hook to the man's throat, the pirate shifted to look at Belle. She looked shaken, her blue eyes wide and shining with tears. Hook wondered who those unshed tears were for. For the doctor? For Hook? Or was Belle hysterical, what had almost happened scaring her that badly? 

His rage mounted, and wasn't entirely appeased when Belle reacted to the furious look in her eyes. "Please!" She was saying, which only caused Hook to clench his jaw in upset. 

"Give me one reason why I should." He all but growled at her, his own gaze hard as it searched her frightened one for some grasp of understanding. 

She hesitated, and Hook started to turn back to the doctor when Belle tightened her grip on his arms. "Please, just trust me." She held his stare, Belle brave even despite her fright. Hook finally let out a reluctant sigh, and nodded slowly. He moved to get off Connor, and took Belle with him, huddling her close against his body as the pirate looked to Smee. 

"Sorry Captain." Smee was ashen faced, but before the man could elaborate, Connor was stumbling upright as best he could. 

"Now do you see?!" Connor was screaming at Belle, his broken ruin of a nose distorting the sound of his voice. "He's the worst of them all!" His bloody face couldn't hide the broken nose, or the teeth that were now missing, Belle letting out a yelp of disgust as she turned away from the doctor. 

Hook immediately pressed Belle against his chest, sheltering her from the sight of the doctor. "Get him out of here, Smee!" And when Smee hesitated, Hook growled. "NOW!" 

"Yes, captain, sir!" Smee was hardly gentle as he dragged the stumbling and in pain doctor from out of the room. 

Hook was left alone with Belle, who stood trembling against him. Hook started to pet her hair, then grimaced when he realized his hand was covered in blood, and totally unfit to soothe anyone. 

"You want to explain what that was all about?" Hook asked, after taking several deep breaths. Belle went still against him, before darting a teary eyed look up at him. "Why in the world would you ask me to spare him? And after what he was trying to do...!" 

"What he was trying..." Understanding dawned in Belle's eyes, the woman shaking her head no. "No, it wasn't like that...." 

"Then what was it like?" Hook started to demand, then fell silent when Belle told him that it was worse than Hook had thought. An awful thought went through his head, Hook wondering if Belle's cries had come too late, if Connor had done something more than grab at and try to kiss her. He wasn't at all reassured by what Belle did say, the woman explaining the doctor had come to broker a deal with her. 

"A deal?" 

"On behalf of your crew, the men who are uniting under a Jon Silver." clarified Belle. 

"Jon Silver? Ole' Long Jon Silver?!" Hook was in a state of disbelief. "They must be desperate if they are willing to unite under that coward." 

"I take it you're not a fan?" Belle asked, and Hook snorted in response. 

"They couldn't do worse if they tried." Hook said, but he was still angry. Belle noted his agitation, and actually caressed fingers over both of his upper arms. It didn't do nearly enough to calm the mad beast down inside him, Hook angry at Jon, at Connor, at anyone who had dared try to involve Belle in their suicidal scheming. 

"So what exactly is Jon up to, that he had to involve Connor and you?" Hook asked, trying for a casual tone of indifference. Belle fixed him with a look that spoke of how little she believed in that calm facade he was trying for. 

"I'll tell you, but you have to promise me you won't rush off and do something foolish." 

Hook frowned at that. "Don't know if that's a promise I can be keeping." 

"You'll just have to make the effort." Belle insisted. "After all, it's not just yourself you have to think of. There's me, and Smee...." 

He let out another deep breath, Hook acknowledging her words with a nod. "All right, for you and for Smee's sake I promise to not do anything rash." 

She studied him for several more seconds, searching his eyes for something Belle could believe in. Finally she nodded, Belle stepping back from Hook, to fidget nervously with her fingers. "This pirate, Jon Silver. He sent Connor to me with an offer of protection." 

"Protection? And what does he want in return for this protection? No, no let me guess...." 

"I'm sure you can't. Not in this." She was pale, but her cheeks were starting to tint lightly in pink. "The doctor said the pirates would leave me alone, and all I had to do is one thing for them." She could barely meet his eyes now, Belle blushing harder and harder. "They want--NEED the secret to leaving Neverland, and they're not above having me seduce you to get it." 

Normally Hook would have delighted in the idea of Belle trying to seduce him, but not when he was so angry. "That's something I'll be taking to my grave, no matter how tempting the lips who try to seduce the secret out of me are." 

She didn't seem to know how to respond to that, Belle just shrugging her shoulders in response. Or she tried to, the woman suddenly wincing in pain. Instantly Hook was back at her side, carefully reaching for her as he asked what was wrong. 

"It's my shoulder..." She explained. "It's never properly healed, and the doctor pulling on it has helped to aggravate it." 

The murderous rage was back on him, darkening his eyes as Hook muttered about how he should have killed Connor. Belle reached up with one hand, cupping his cheek with a gentle caress of her fingers. 

"Thank you for leaping to my defense, but no...that won't do. And not simply because I can't stand by and watch you beat a man to death!" 

"Then why?" Hook demanded, but his tone couldn't maintain his gruffness when she was willingly touching him. 

"Well..." His eyes were drawn to her biting down on her lip, Belle hesitating as though she was choosing her words carefully. "It occurs to me that maybe we could use him." 

"Him?" 

"Well the opportunity Connor offers. To find out just who is turning against you, under that Jon Silver's command." Belle explained. 

"I think you'll find only Smee willing to stand against that bastard with me." 

"No...I don't think so. I mean Connor implied it was only half of your crew willing to unite under Jon Silver. " 

"So what?" countered Hook. "The enemy of my enemy, still doesn't make them my friends." 

Belle looked disappointed at that. "No I suppose not. But then...what will you do? Kill them all?" 

"Tempting." Hook chuckled in response to her startled look. "But I'm thinking an accident can be arranged. Maybe even as soon as the storm hits." 

"The storm?" 

"The sky and the sea bear all the signs of a nasty one being upon us and just about any second now until it starts." Hook explained. "Perfect timing for a body to fall over board." 

"Be careful." Belle advised him, looking worried. 

"I can hazard a guess as to what you're thinking." Hook said, turning to catch at Belle's wrist with his bloodied hand. "But my crew won't be thinking of mutinying during a storm this bad. They'll be spending every ounce of energy fighting the storm, trying to keep us all from dying. They won't expect me to risk it, when I need all capable hands on deck." 

"Isn't that exactly the kind of thinking that might lead them, or Jon in particular to attack you?" Belle asked. Hook rewarded her with a smile, and a kiss to the soft palm of her hand. 

"Your concern is duly noted..." His voice softened. "And appreciated." He had the pleasure of seeing Belle blush even redder, Hook grinning wide now. 

"Are you okay?" She asked, nodding at the hand that still held onto her wrist. 

"It's not my blood." Hook explained. He felt the shiver go through her, and Hook almost let go of her hand then, thinking Belle was repulsed by what he had said, by what he had done to Connor. But then she surprised him. 

"Thank you." She said, and Hook stood there shocked. "For coming to my rescue against the doctor. For that and for everything....." 

"I am at your service." Hook muttered, trying to cover his flustered reaction to Belle's gratitude. "Always." 

"Well then..." Belle tried to gently pull free of his grip. "I suppose you have a storm to battle..." 

"And an accident to see too." Hook added with a grin. He caught at her hand again, and pressed another kiss to it, this time over her knuckles. 

"Be safe." urged Belle, and this time when she tried to pull away, he let her. But he didn't immediately go to the door, instead staring at Belle. She was still blushing, but aside from the color in her cheeks, he could see how pale skinned she truly was. Her eyes were still held open a little too wide, the frights she had experienced not yet receding completely from her expression. Worry was there also, Belle fearing FOR Hook and his safety. Her concern moved something inside him, his heart quickening it's beat for one single moment. 

Hook looked at Belle with the intent to remember how shaken she had looked, to hold the image of her fear in his head and use it to fuel his rage as he prepared to deal with the pirate Silver and the storm. He was completely unprepared by just how much the sight of her touched him, his protective instincts afire, and it had nothing to do with being a gentleman, and everything to do with being a man wanting to protect a woman he had come to admire and care for. 

Just how much took him by surprise, Hook having feelings that extended beyond sexual attraction and maybe even friendship. It wasn't love, but it was a little stronger than just liking the woman. The realization both stunned and worried him, and he didn't really have time to properly dwell on the matter. Not with the storm coming, with danger all around them, Hook hurriedly stepping away from Belle. 

The wind nearly knocked him over when he stepped outside the cabin, it's howl a deafening scream that blocked out all sound, including the thunderous noise of the storm. Lightning split the sky, jagged white arcs that flashed and died within seconds of each other. They illuminated the darkness the overcast sky had plunged them into, Hook catching quick looks at his struggling crew in between the flashing of the lightning. 

His eyes narrowed, Hook spying Smee, Estavan, and several others. Jon Silver was suspiciously absent from deck, leaving Hook to bite back an angry curse. The fool had been alerted to the danger, no doubt in thanks to the commotion Connor had caused inside Hook's cabin. He might even now be meeting with the doctor, to find out what if anything had been decided upon where Belle and his deal were concerned. Why he might even save Hook the trouble, and kill Connor himself, especially if Silver thought the doctor's usefulness was at an end. 

Muttering dark things under his breath, Hook made his careful way to the steer of the ship. The big wheel was spinning wildly out of control, groaning in protest when the pirate used his hand and his hook to halt it's turning. Fat droplets of water began to pelt the deck of the ship, the rain instantly drenching any one who wasn't already wet from the ten foot waves that were battering the ship. Those waves sometimes splashed over the railing, giving the deck a good salty washing while attempting to carry away any who weren't firmly rooted in place. 

In the distance he could hear the song of the mermaids, those hungry sirens gathering to celebrate the storm and feast on any of the men who might happen to fall into their domain. Their fierce song was enough to send some of the men bolting below deck, while others made sure to lash themselves properly in place, while readying their harpoons for the battle that might take place. 

All in all it was looking to be a long and dangerous storm. One who might well see them into the late hours of the coming night. Hook made sure to secure himself before the wheel, ready to fight and expend energy to keep the ship on a strict course away from the rock lined waters of the mainland. Enchanted wood or not, the Jolly Roger wouldn't hold together if it was dashed upon those rocks. 

There was enough danger from the storm, from the sea, and even from the mainland, to keep Hook and his pirates busy and working tirelessly for hours. More then their muscles were sore by the end of it, their bodies abused from the coarse ropes biting into their wet skin for hours on end. They were soaked to the bone freezing, and only the strange magic of Neverland would keep them all from falling ill to fever or worse. 

Hook felt old as he cut himself free of the rope, his body so battered and tired it protested his staying upright. His feet felt leaden, Hook trudging his way to his cabin. His bedraggled crew were doing similar, too exhausted to do much more then head for their barracks. Hook wouldn't be surprised if a few of them didn't drop to sleeping right by the stairs below deck, rather than try to keep awake long enough to find their own beds. 

Hook himself was just as exhausted, entering into the cabin as quietly as he could. He struggled out of his coat, but his clothing beneath it was just as soaked as the rest of him. He sighed, and looked towards the alcove, the bed and the beauty there beckoning to him like a tempting beacon. It was in deference to Belle, that Hook not only shucked his wet clothes, but pulled on a long night shirt before climbing into bed with her. She woke immediately at the feel of his weight being added next to hers, but Belle was still half asleep as she murmured some half awake greeting to him. 

Hook muttered something back, his arms encircling around her. He was careful with his hook as always, not letting it's sharp tip pierce her in any way. The chilled skin of his cheek touched the crook of her shoulder, and even through the thin material of the shirt she wore, Belle felt the cold and protested it with a more alert sounding exclamation. Hook made a shushing sound, his eyes already drooping closed as he snuggled up behind Belle's body. Faintly, he heard her grumbling, and a put upon sigh followed that complaint. Hook was too tired to do more than smile, his mind plummeting into the blissful darkness of a rest well earned. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   
To Be Continued....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I cannot believe I got this done on the heels of 17. In like less than 24 hours even! *parties* Though maybe I should wait to spell check and proofread until after I had some sleep. 
> 
> Anyway, I kinda like this chapter, even though it went and deviated a lot from what I had originally wanted. Well not too much, cause I knew a storm was coming. But originally I thought Hook would be distracted at least in part with the storm, dealing with some of his feelings, as remember I said the Connor Belle scene was supposed to go differently, so Hook would have a very brief moment of misreading what is going on and feel jealous? But I like how I was able to improvise and adjust when my previous chapter upset my plans. Funny enough, this chapter ended exactly like I wanted it to, even with the Connor Belle scene of last chapter screwing some things up. So yay for getting a tired and cold Hook snuggling with Belle! 
> 
> Next chapter will most likely be a Hook POV too, as we find out if he agrees to the question for a question bargain! 
> 
> I'm still trying to figure out a title for this story. Though I admit calling it the untitled time travel curse story has grown on me a lot. XD It's so hard to figure out a title, even with what I know is happening and going to happen in the future of the storyline. Maybe by the time this story wraps up (Which is still some ways away) I, or you the readers, will have figured out a title name! 
> 
> But I'm worrying for 19...I just fear some of the conversation is gonna trip me up big time. God I hope it doesn't turn into another nightmare to write, that takes me like two weeks time to get it to my satisfaction....X_X 
> 
> \----Michelle


	19. Nineteen

Sleep seemed loathe to let Hook free of it's embrace, the man having drifted in and out of consciousness for about an hour now. He never fully opened his eyes, never fully noted how bright it was getting in the alcove, morning having come and gone, and taking with it the shadows of the night before. In it’s place, had come the noonday sun, blazing hot in the sky, with no sign of the storm remaining. Even the Never Sea had turned calm, the waters gently lapping at the sides of the Jolly Roger. 

The tranquility of the sea after a storm had a lulling effect on Hook, the man expending no real effort towards waking up. He was far too comfortable in his bed, pressed against Belle's soft body, her fingers in his hair. He smiled at that, aware that she had been petting over his hair for some time now, a purposeful caress that let him know it was no sleepy accident that she had touched him. It was ridiculous how much that pleased him, Hook snuggling more insistently against Belle's body. His bristly cheek rubbed against something soft, Hook trying to burrow more into the pillow when he registered that odd supple mix of soft yet firm that could only be a woman's body. Or more precisely, a woman's breasts. 

His eyes snapped open with that realization, Hook finding he was resting his face on Belle's chest. His bare legs were tangled with hers, the two having twisted somehow during the night to face one another. Hook felt heat creep up his face, but more than that he felt an all too male awareness of Belle's body. The soft satin of her skin, her bare legs against his. The petite waist, in which his arms were wound about, his fingers digging almost cruelly into her flesh in a hold that had been possessive even in his deep sleep. 

And then there was the gentle rise and fall of her breasts as she breathed, her chest the most pleasing pillow he could ever have hoped to find for his head to rest upon. The clean scent of her, Belle smelling a lot like the soap Hook used. It was an incredible turn on to find the woman smelling similar to him, almost as though it was another proof of his possession of her. Just as arousing as anything else, was the fact Belle was touching him, caressing her gentle fingers through his now dry hair. 

He wasn't sure what that touch of hers could mean, and Hook desperately tried to keep his body from reacting any further. The last thing he wanted was his erection spoiling things between them, and the best course of action would be to disengage from the embrace immediately. His body didn't seem to want to listen to him, claiming an exhaustion he should have been over by now. 

But he wasn't worried about the heaviness of his limbs, Hook more concerned with Belle and her reaction to him. To his holding her like this, to his body reacting, even to that soothing touching of his hair. He wanted to ask her about it, but not if it meant Belle would stop her fingers' stroke. It was both comforting and arousing, and Hook might have fallen back asleep if not for the fact he was worrying a little too much now. 

It was a worry that had little to do with the doctor and Jon Silver. Those troubles fell to the side of the more immediate concern, the feelings Belle had caused Hook to feel, and not all of them were sexual. Protection, friendship, concern, and darker feelings. The urge to possesses, to claim, to keep, and that wasn't taking into account the strong surge of anger he felt, the mad fury that over took him whenever danger reared around Belle. Be it Pan, his pirates, or even someone as weak and feeble as the doctor. 

As troubling as that fury was, it was nothing compared to the hope that was taking root in his heart. He was starting to look at Belle and hope for things, want more from her than just a sexual thrill or even friendship. He had developed feelings for her, against his wishes and even when he had known it would only complicate things and cause him pain. Never mind that she was in danger, that just about every semi intelligent being in Neverland seemed intent on threatening her. She was simply too good a woman to ever consider giving her heart to a pirate, and besides, a woman like Belle? It was near unthinkable to believe she might NOT have someone waiting for her back home in Storybrooke. 

The thought made Hook unbelievably jealous, the pirate not wanting to hand Belle over to anyone. Not even to someone more deserving of her than him, and for the first time ever Hook had a dark selfish thought about the convenient opportunity Neverland offered him. The opportunity to keep Belle, to leave her trapped in Neverland until everyone she had known and loved had died, leaving her with no one to turn to, nowhere to go, no choice but to stay with Hook. 

The thought unsettled him because of how greatly it left Hook tempted do just that. For once when he thought about staying in Neverland, it had nothing to do with his revenge, and everything to do with the woman beside him. It was disturbing, and Hook knew he couldn't in good conscience do that to Belle. But he didn't know how to get her back home without giving up on his own quest, and that was something Hook wasn't yet ready to do. His guilt kept him from relaxing, Hook unable to be relived that he would have some more time with Belle as his companion still. 

He felt caught between a rock and a hard place, damned no matter what course Hook did decide on. He had fallen headfirst into Pan's trap, and even if Belle didn't die and somehow instead made it back to her home, Hook would be forever shattered once she was gone from his life. Just the idea of no longer having Belle in his life HURT, Belle the kind of woman that made it impossible to not love her. Even though he had tried, even though Hook STILL fought against his feelings, trying to keep his heart from being taken any more than it had already been. 

To that end, he forced himself to stop the none too subtle nuzzling he had been doing against her breasts. He didn't push away from her, though he did loosen his arms' hold, Hook shifting enough to look up at Belle's face. She was blushing, but her eyes sparkled with warmth, her fingers continuing their caressing dance through his hair. 

"It's about time you woke up." She started to say, but Hook didn't care about the time. He was lost to the warmth in her eyes, and seeking to harden his heart against her, and against his own selfish desires. Even as a voice whispered inside him that a pirate not only takes what he wants, he keeps it. 

Trying to ignore that voice, Hook turned a serious look on Belle. "Do you have any one waiting for you back home? A lover...a husband?" 

She had gone still at that, her fingers abruptly stopping their caressing. Hook took it as a sign that the answer was yes, and he told himself that that was a good thing. But he was jealous all the same, wanting to hold onto Belle and shout that she was HIS. 

"That question..." She said slowly, carefully. "Does that mean you are agreeing to my bargain?" 

Hook started, realizing he had all but forgotten about her question for a question bargain. A bargain Hook still wasn't sure he should make, but the man needed answers. Or at least, he needed an answer to THIS. 

In a slow, hesitant manner that betrayed his inner reluctance, Hook nodded. Belle didn't quite manage a smile in response, her troubled expression betraying how uncertain she was about the bargain too. 

For the longest time she said nothing, her fingers resuming their stroking, but in an absentminded way. Hook caught himself holding his breath, waiting for her answer, what he wanted to hear warring with what his heart wanted. 

The longer Belle took to answer, the more certain Hook was of her answer. His heart began beating a furious tempo, Hook's vision practically swimming with jealousy. He tried to envision the man who could have this beauty's heart, most likely some undeserving fool who was probably a smug, boasting prick when Belle wasn't around. He felt hatred for this imagined fellow, wanting to pummel him the way Connor had been. 

Hook was in fact working himself up to be sick with jealousy when Belle finally spoke. "Not exactly." 

He frowned. "What does not exactly mean?" 

"I had a...a fiancee once." She admitted with great reluctance. "It wasn't a love match." 

"Then....?" 

"His name was Gaston." She said. "And he was as arrogant as they come. A brute and a bully, I really can't guess as to what my father was thinking when he tried to arrange a marriage between us." 

"What happened?" 

A slight curving of her lips. "That will be two questions you owe me." Belle pointed out. Hook nodded impatiently in reply, willing her to get on with her story. Again she fell quiet, as though Belle had to think carefully on her answers. "You remember the ogre wars?" 

"Of course." 

"The time of the war had passed, but the threat of the ogres was not ended." Belle explained. "My....homeland was under constant threat from those monsters for as long as I can remember." 

"Are you saying this Gaston died fighting against the ogres?" Hook fought to keep from grinning at the idea, his jealousy knowing no bounds. 

"No....no. He never made it to their battleground. He was always rushing off to start fights, and one day...he picked the wrong man to challenge." Belle sighed. "I didn't love him, but I didn't wish him dead." 

"You're too good a person to ever wish anyone dead." Hook told her, remembering how she had even kept Connor from being beaten to death. 

"What?" Belle asked warily, having noted the way he frowned, with real annoyance in his eyes. "What are you thinking?" 

"Are you sure you want that to be one of your questions?" Hook tried to keep his tone light and teasing. Belle gave him a thin smile, and nodded. 

"I'm thinking I can spare one." She explained. "You're a very curious man, and I'm sure you have plenty more questions for me." 

"I do indeed." Hook nodded. "But to answer the question, I was thinking about the doctor. Thinking about how you stopped me from killing him." 

"Oh." Belle said softly. "It wasn't out of any fondness for the man, that I can assure you. I merely thought he might be more useful alive than dead, that maybe you could use him somehow..." She began to shrug, then thought better of it. "I dunno....to trick or to trap Jon Silver and those who would side with him." 

"Let me worry about Silver. He'll get what's coming to him." 

"Then he's not dead?" Belle asked, and Hook sighed. 

"The coward hid himself well below deck during the storm. I suppose it would have been too easy to have been able to end his threat so quickly." 

"I've learned that life is seldom that easy." Belle herself sighed. 

"Oh?" Hook eyed her with renewed interest. "And what hardships have you endured, to get you to think like that?" 

"You would call into doubt that I know my own fair share of sorrow and burden?" Belle asked, and Hook shook his head in protest. 

"Hardly. I'm genuinely curious about you, and the life that has shaped you into what you are." 

"What I am?" Belle quirked an eyebrow at him. "And what pray tell, is that?" 

It came out before he could stop himself, Hook telling Belle she was an amazing woman, a person that he admired. He had the pleasure of seeing her turn red with her blush, but Hook himself felt embarrassed by what he had just admitted to. 

"Please..." he tried again. "Will you not answer me?" 

"Besides losing my mother at a young age, and having to put up with the constant threat of the ogres?" Belle asked, her blush receding to her sadness. "Oh I don't know. How about putting your faith and love in a man who wasn't what you believed him to be." 

"Someone other than Gaston I take it?" Again jealousy reared it's head, and this time it couldn't be as easily appeased, because Belle herself had said she had put her love to a man. He almost missed how sad she looked, how stricken thoughts of this man made her. "What did he do to you?" 

"It doesn't really matter." She then shook her head, and gave a bitter sounding laugh. "Or more likely I did it to myself." Hook shifted off her completely, his hand urging her to sit up against the pillows with him. "I was a fool." Belle whispered without his prodding. "I blinded myself to his faults....to the wickedness he was capable of. Even when others tried to warn me, I kept on believing, loving a man who....I don't know...a man who I wonder if he ever existed at all." 

"I don't think you a fool." protested Hook, and now he was the one touching her, his rough and calloused fingertips stroking a soft cheek. "Love gets the better of all of us, and it's not wrong to want to believe in the best of the person you give your heart to." 

"But I ignored all the signs, made excuses for things I should not have." Belle looked so sad and forlorn, her body trembling with her agitation. 

"Not all of them, love." Hook gently said. "Something must have made you open your eyes and take a real good look at that man. You were able to look past your love to see who, what he really is." 

But she wasn't happy with what she had found, that much was apparent. Hook caressed his fingers into her hair, tucking an errant curl behind her ear. "Do you...do you still love him?" He didn't really want an answer, and yet Hook HAD to know. 

"I.." Belle lowered her gaze, staring down at her hands that had clenched together on her lap. "I don't know. Sometimes I think maybe just a little...but then I wonder how can I continue to care for someone that can be that horrible." 

It was cruel of him to feel happy when she was clearly so torn up and miserable, and yet he couldn't stop the insidious bit of joy from singing inside him. A joy born of her confusion, Hook darkly hopeful despite all he should feel, to hear Belle basically admit she wasn't hopelessly in love with another man. And just as Hook knew he shouldn't be celebrating, the pirate couldn't stop the pang of jealousy from happening in response to Belle saying she just might have some kind of positive feelings for this other man still. 

The jealousy was an interesting thing to experience, Hook both curious and not about that man, this unseen rival for Belle's affections. It left him wanting to know everything, and yet Hook was almost afraid to find out what that everything entailed. 

"Does he stand any chance at all of winning you back?" Hook asked abruptly, trying for a nonchalant manner as he waited for Belle's answer. 

"I..." Again she started to shrug, but the pain of her shoulder stopped her from completing the motion. "I think it's...that it might be too late for us. I mean...I don't know how he can justify what he's done. How he can spin the angles to make it better than it is." Belle was biting at her lip now, in addition to clasping her hands together. "Will you tell me about her now?" 

Hook went still at the request, knowing it was time to pay for all the questions he had asked. His complicated feelings and jealousy didn't go away at the thoughts of Milah, the pain of her death no longer deep enough to protect him from where his heart was now wanting to go. He shivered, Hook wondering when was the last time he had been able to think about Milah and her untimely end without an immense amount of pain. Her loss still hurt, but it wasn't the sucker punch to the stomach it had once been. 

It was a pain that he had lived with for so long, that Hook almost panicked to find it now dulled. He almost felt it a betrayal of Milah, even as he logically knew that the woman would have wanted him to move on. More than move on, she would have wanted him to be happy and safe. Milah would have never approved of his quest for revenge, not with the risk it presented to the man she had loved. She would have been angry about the danger, but more than that Milah would have been disappointed to find Hook not truly living. 

He had been existing only for his revenge and his pain, letting the memory of Milah's murder goad him on. Living only to avenge her and the future they had been denied, Hook now found himself thinking it was possible to live for something---someone else. But the someone that he wanted, Hook felt he had no real right to, the pirate not able to imagine opening his heart up a third time, to yet another chance with another woman who wasn't Belle. 

He was still stuck, Hook realized with a bitter sounding snort. For without Belle he would throw himself back into his quest for revenge, but their time together would be ended the moment Hook took her from Neverland. It could end in many different ways, he realized, Hook knowing the danger she was in, and the risks that he himself was taking. He was still a selfish, selfish man, unable to do what was truly right despite all his claims of being a gentleman. 

Full of self loathing now, Hook could barely meet Belle's eyes as he nodded and told her, that yes, he would tell her all about Milah. Belle's expression softened in sympathy, her hand touching his in a show of support. He didn't deserve it. Not her sympathy, not her kindness, not her love. He'd talk about Milah, and hope that the memories that came with the words would be enough to harden his heart once more. 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

To Be Continued....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay this was painless to write! Whoo hoo! *Celebrates* I am pretty happy with this chapter, except for a few bits here and there that are making me worry endlessly. Would love to hear you girls and guys' reaction to this particular chapter. And I am dreading trying to write twenty now...X_X 
> 
> And yes, the snuggling/waking up to his head resting on her breasts while being petted by Belle was a moment I had been looking forward to writing for a while now! So glad I got it in the way I wanted. XD 
> 
> I'm also trying not to overly worry about a certain thing in this chapter, otherwise it might lead me to trash what I am mostly satisfied with. I'm trying not to say what it is, cause I'm interested to see if it's noticeable without me calling it into question, see if anyone notices it on their own. Maybe next chapter's author's note, I'll reveal what I worried about...if I remember to reveal it that is. 
> 
> Course maybe I am just going insane, and imagining problems where there is none......*passes out from worrying*
> 
> \-----Michelle


	20. Twenty

She watched the shadows take over his eyes, Hook's expression one of pain and loathing. It left him barely able to look at her, his private hurt boiling to the surface, the wound that was always festering there torn open by Belle's question. Her heart immediately responded, becoming an echo of what Hook was feeling. It was more than just sympathetic, Belle finding the tragedy of what had happened to Milah something that affected more than just the pirate that sat besides her. Belle too felt the ripples of that pain, the situation a nightmare that had begun to change things for her from that moment in Storybooke, when Hook had uttered Rumplestiltskin's most shameful misdeed for the first time. 

Ever since that moment, her world had been shattered, her heart hurting and afraid. Leaving Belle frightened of the truth, of her feelings, and even of Rumplestiltskin. That fright alone might have been enough to make Belle run, but her noble heart wouldn't let her play the coward. Not even in this, Belle persisting, desperate to learn the full details of what had happened even at the risk to herself that the truth offered. 

It wasn't just the truth about the how and why of what Rumple had done to Milah. It was Hook, Belle always aware of the danger she was in. He protected her, but only because Hook had no real way of knowing Belle's connection to his most hated enemy. She never forgot that fact, Belle determined to protect herself, to keep the full truth of that hidden. 

Burdened by it, by the secrets that she must keep, Belle had taken a great risk in negotiating a bargain that would leave her honor bound to answer Hook's questions. The prize was too great, her curiosity having gone unsatisfied for too long. Belle needing to know, and not just about the tragedy that had so shaped Hook into the man that he now was, and would one day be in Storybrooke. She was curious about HIM, wanting to know Hook, a man who had both frightened and intrigued her. That fear was fast becoming just a memory, Belle having learned to not only depend on Hook, but to like him. 

It was a like she had never expected to feel, and never to such an extent. Belle more than tolerated Hook, she enjoyed his company and actually considered him a friend. But more than that, she trusted him, with her life, with her safety , and with her feelings. The last had been surprising, but it had happened all the same, Belle carefully unburdening herself about Rumplestiltskin without actually mentioning him by name. Hook had listened to her talk about him, had even tried to soothe and comfort her when Belle had found fault in herself for letting her love blind her. 

Belle still felt the fool for that, for her blind belief in Rumplestiltskin. She had let her feelings trick her into ignoring what was happening around her, Rumplestiltskin guilty of more than just Milah’s murder. It made Belle sick now to remember the blood of his victims, the blood she herself had had to wash out of his clothing more times than she had cared to count. Nor did Belle want to recall the excuses she had made, the reasons she had created to explain away Rumplestiltskin's wicked behavior. 

Sick with herself over what Belle had let herself believe, do, the woman was determined to never again let love blind her to a person's faults. Her heart would have closed off completely, but Belle was simply too loving and beautiful a soul to not connect with other people. But she was burned now, Belle oh so wary. On guard from more than just the physical danger, Belle wasn't about to make the same mistake twice, and fall for another wicked man. For no matter how much of a gentleman he claimed to be, Hook was still a pirate, and his hands were just as dirty as Rumplestiltskin's. 

Dirty, but he wasn't hiding his sins. Hook had always been open about the killings, about the fact that he murdered to keep control of his crew, and to protect Belle. He openly plotted revenge, fought against even children to achieve it. He was willing to destroy Neverland, and had broken up a family to run off with a married man's wife. When put like that, it was clear Hook was no better than Rumplestiltskin. But was he worse? Belle couldn't actually answer that, having seen two different Hooks, the one of the past who was so kind and considerate towards her, and the one of the present, who had been so hell bent on his revenge, he had gone after Belle several times. 

The Hook that she had met while in Storybrooke is what scared Belle most of all. And yet her heart now also went out to him, Belle having gotten to know him through her dealings with the Hook of the past. She didn't know all of him, but Belle knew enough to know that she actually liked him. And as his friend, she was more determined than ever to somehow help him heal, Belle misreading the look in his eyes as proof that the pain was still tearing him up inside. 

Hook WAS feeling torn up, but it no longer had much to do with the losses he had suffered. He was battling his own desires, his own selfish impulses, and the feelings for Belle that had developed well past sexual attraction and friendship. The light and dark of his thoughts, had him battling his own demons, Hook fighting to do what was right for Belle over what was right for him. 

His desires geared towards keeping Belle, Hook would have welcome the pain that thinking about Milah normally would have brought him. It was still there, but it was lessened, just a hollow sliver of the devastation thoughts of Milah and her untimely death had once been capable of. Not even the ensuing guilt over that, was enough to keep Hook from wanting Belle, the man barely able to look at her without a dark heat filling his eyes. 

Breathing deeply, Hook tried to ignore the turmoil that raged on inside of him. He would have broken if Belle had chosen to touch him then, what little honor and good sense he had left gone, given over to doing the selfish thing. But she hadn't, and so he didn't, Hook fighting a gnashing of his teeth as he tried to concentrate on giving Belle the answers that she wanted. The story that she was waiting so patiently to hear. 

It was a story she had wanted from the start, from the moment he had given Belle an inkling of how personal a quest his vendetta against the Dark One was. Hook hadn't been able to give it to her then, the pain too raw, too personal, for him to have wanted to share. It was different now, Hook plunging head first into the telling, reasoning there was little sense left in holding back this part of himself. He was already a goner, already affected so deeply by this woman, this beautiful soul who had reached past the worst of his pain to make him care about her with such an intensity. 

It was a caring that was growing by leaps and bounds, a caring that seemed unstoppable. Hook would forever be affected by Belle, and the time he had spent with her. She hadn't surpassed Milah in his heart, but she was there all the same, sharing it with the woman who Hook had thought would be his one and only love. 

No amount of hardening, of pain was going to change that. Belle had already left her mark on Hook, and the bond between them only grew stronger by the day. He no longer tried to fight it for the most part, Hook resigned to the fact that Belle had become essential to him. The woman now vital to the point that even this, what was tantamount to his last stand against her, seemed destined to fail, his heart refusing to cooperate with his head. 

Memories of Milah were still in his head, but they no longer consumed him with that staggering level of pain. He was no longer drowning, able to think back on Milah and actually smile. It was a small, wistful expression, a kind of sadness for what would now never be. He thought briefly of the future lost, the happy ending denied to them both, but more than that Hook remembered the good times, the joy that Milah had brought into his life. 

The laughter, the loving, the woman having helped him to heal when Hook had been at his lowest, hurting over the loss of his brother. He hadn't gone after her with any intention to fill the void Liam had left in his heart, and Hook certainly hadn't meant to break up a family. But it had happened all the same, Milah becoming something more than just the latest skirt to chase. 

"I wasn't looking for anything in particular." Hook began. "I certainly wasn't looking for love, or even trouble. I just wanted a good time, a break from my grieving." At her questioning look, Hook elaborated. "Liam." He said. "It had only been a few months since his unfortunate death, and if I had allowed myself a quiet moment, I think the injustice done would have made me go mad." Hook let out a humorless snort. "In some ways, I already had, or at least that's what my parents had claimed." 

"They couldn't accept my reasons for becoming a pirate." Hook explained. "They wouldn't hear a word spoken against their King, the shame of that almost greater than the shame of having a pirate for a son. I was a traitor, to the kingdom and to my family, and there was few if any who would listen to my tale. Let alone take it seriously." 

"But Milah did?" Belle guessed, and Hook nodded. 

"Aye. Though that wasn't what attracted me." He gave a low masculine chuckle. "Not at first. I wasn't interested in conversation, wasn't interested in anything except having a drink, and finding a willing woman to bed." 

"I don't imagine you'd have difficulties with the willing part." Belle admitted with a blush. Hook grinned at her, making no effort to hide how pleased those words had made him. 

"Even for a traitor, there was plenty of women willing to be had." Hook said, maintaining his grin. 

She frowned in response. "So then, if there was plenty, how could one woman hope to stand out?" 

"Diamonds always do." That confused her, Belle looking perplexed and blinking owlishly at Hook. "That's what Milha was....a diamond in the rough. And all she needed was a little polish to truly make her shine." 

He was quiet, letting Belle consider his words before continuing. "You once asked me why I had thought it a good idea to run off with the Dark One's wife...." 

"If my memory serves correctly, I also recall you saying he wasn't the Dark One at the time." Belle was quick to point out. 

Hook nodded. "He was just a man then...no less then one. A coward and deserter, branded as such by his own hands, Rumplestiltskin was a miserable being. He dragged down everyone around him, and that included his wife and son. Milah was withering away in his care, her anger and resentments eating away at her soul. She hated him, and had felt trapped." 

"So she just what...abandoned her son to make a grab for her freedom?" 

"Basically." Hook admitted. "Milah was not without her faults, and she was so desperate to get away..." He shrugged. "I suppose it seems selfish of her, but would it have been better if she had stayed? Hating her son's father, taking her bitterness and resentments out on them both?" 

Belle was frowning. "Was her....dislike of her husband really that bad?" 

"It was. She hated her life, and she hated him for the shame he had brought to their family. She didn't care about his reasons. To Milah, her life and that of their son's, would have been better if Rumplestiltskin had died instead of deserting." 

Belle had to bite her tongue. The beauty was thus far not impressed with what she was hearing, Milah seeming selfish and cruel, and hardly deserving of one man's love, let alone two. 

"She wasn't completely heartless where her son was concerned." Hook was saying. "She talked often enough about someday going back for the boy. But...then circumstances got in the way." 

"Circumstances...." Belle echoed softly, but the woman thought she already knew what Hook now alluded to. Shortly before the pirate had come to town, and shortly after Smee had nearly succeeded in wiping out Belle's entire personality, Rumplestiltskin had finally seen fit to confide in her. The man had told her all about his son, about his private pain over being separated from the boy. Rumplestiltskin had revealed the depths of his love for him, no measure too extreme in his quest to reunite his family. 

But Rumple had never mentioned his wife, never talked about the woman who had given him the son that he had so adored. Even after Hook's appearance in Storybrooke, Rumplestiltskin had kept tightlipped about Milah. He done worse than saying nothing, his lies born of omission. Belle could understand why he would do it, because the truth was horrific, and had actually succeeding in terrifying Belle. 

In a lot of ways she still retained that first shock of horror, Belle's heart hurting and protesting the idea of the man that she had loved killing his wife, the mother of his only child, in cold blood. She'd never understand how Rumplestiltskin could have gone that far, nor would Belle be able to understand how love could twist that badly. Yes love could change, and yes love could lessen over time, situation and circumstance eroding away at it. But some semblance of the feeling should have still remained, something that should have kept the two from actively murdering one another. 

Unless they had never been in love to begin with. Not that it would justify anything that had happened, the murder, the abandonment, the hatred. But maybe everything Belle thought she knew about love, wouldn't have to be turned on it's head to accommodate what had ultimately happened. 

But Hook was still talking, his eyes dark with some unfathomable feeling. She wondered at it, wondered if it was his pain she was seeing, or something else. Resentment, Belle decided, noticing the subtle tic in his cheek, Hook elaborating on the circumstances he had alluded too. 

"The whole Dark One business. We never did find out how he managed to pull that off, or how he got around the whole being enslaved to a human master." His words had raised Belle's eyebrows, more questions coming to mind the more that Hook talked. 

"I suppose it doesn't really matter." He continued softly. "He was what he was, and there was no one to control him, no one to stop him. He was beyond powerful, and he set about to terrorizing the villages around him. He built up quite a reputation as a man to be feared, and word quickly spread." 

Hook actually shuddered then. "I don't want to think what would have happened to us, if we had tried to take his son from him then. Hell, I don't want to think what would have happened if we had gotten to Baelfire before that whole transformation took place. And you know why? Because if we had had the boy, then that monster would have definitely come looking for us." 

"He never tried to find you?" Belle asked surprised. 

"Not to my knowledge. And though we heard plenty about him, we never had the misfortune of crossing paths. Not until years later...not until after the boy was gone." 

"What exactly had happened?" Belle asked. 

"To the boy?" Hook shrugged. "No one could say for certain. But after Baelfire's disappearance, Rumplestiltskin changed. He began building up a new kind of reputation, actually doing favors for certain people. For a price. Always for a price." 

Belle knew a little about that, Rumplestiltskin having told her how his deal making had had to do with manipulating people and events, in order to line up all the pieces needed to get him one step closer to his son. It didn't justify much of what he had done, but it had allowed Belle to understand what had driven Rumplestiltskin to do those things. 

Belle even thought she now understood just a little about Milah, about the hate and dissatisfaction that had driven the woman to abandon her family. It didn't excuse Milah any more than losing Baelfire excused Rumplestiltskin, but a better understanding was now there. But what she lacked was Hook's reasons, the woman trying to understand how he could run off with a married woman in the first place. 

"Was it love?" She asked out loud. Hook crooked his brow, his eyes holding a questioning light. "Er...with Milah? Love at first sight I mean?" 

"Love at first sight? Well I don't know about that being possible. Lust at first sight however....." 

Belle was disappointed and showed it. "You broke up a family because of your lust?" 

"Well, it wasn't just me that was lusting." But Hook was being serious. "And to answer your question, I wouldn't have broken up a family just on the basis of that. I wasn't in love with Milah when we first met, but I can guarantee you I was head over heels for her by the time we skipped town." 

"How did it happen?" Belle asked softly. "The love I mean." 

"Over the course of several nights, and no not all of it was spent in bed." Hook said it teasingly. "We were getting a lot of heat from the King's navy, and we had to lay low for a while. I don't know if it was chance or fate that had us choose that town, and walk into the tavern where Milah had been working." 

She had already given him her undivided attention, Belle watching a genuine smile creep into his expression. By the fond look of it, and the emotion in his eyes, Hook was still very much in love with the woman whose death had haunted him for centuries. She felt some uncertain emotion inside her, Belle perhaps envious, wondering what it would be like to have a love that was that devoted. That was so strong it had lasted centuries even after one half had died. Belle wondered if she would ever know, and if there would ever come a time when the beauty would feel free to trust and to love again. 

"Milah...." Hook all but sighed the woman's name. "She was a lovely, fierce lass with a certain surliness to her eyes, and a temper to match. She put a third of my crew on their ass, and even as drunk as they had been, her actions had been impressive. And those she didn't manhandle out the door, she took to task with her tongue, making grown men turn red with embarrassment." 

"She wasn't at all like any of the other serving girls in the tavern. It was clear that she ruled there, and that Milah wouldn't tolerate disrespect." 

"She impressed you with her fire." Belle noted, and Hook grinned. 

"That she did. I was used to the prudes of the nobility, or the fawning spirits who made most tavern their homes. The noble girls who were quick to hold out for a ring, or the ones who gave it up for money or for a pretty enough face." He chuckled. "I wasn't used to a woman who was neither, a woman who wasn't scheming in some way for the most blatant of those things. Milah had wanted nothing from me, not my money, not my body, and not my tarnished title." 

"Then what did she want?" 

"Truthfully nothing." Hook's expression sobered. "She had stopped believing in love, and the chance to be truly happy. She certainly wasn't looking for a man to give her any of those things. She was trying to be self reliant, supporting her family while secretly saving up to just go. Of course she didn't tell me this herself. I sweet talked one of the other girls, some best friend of hers who was all too quick to sing." 

"You see...I was intrigued by the challenge." Hook explained. "I hadn't been thinking of anything long term...I had just wanted a taste of her. But Milah wasn't the kind of woman to give it up in one night. She had to be coaxed, and charm alone wouldn't have done it." 

"Then what did do it?" Belle inquired, fascinated despite herself. 

"The Jolly Roger." He said. "I had it let slip that I was captain of a ship looking to make quick coin." Hook chuckled then. "Suddenly I was getting treated to the tavern's best, and at Milah's expense. She wanted to buy passage on my ship, and she wasn't above getting me drunk enough to agree." 

"Let me guess, it back fired?" 

"For both of us in a way. But I can't regret it. Not when falling in love was the outcome. I had been seeking to use her, and her me....and instead we had found each other." Hook's gaze had turned distant, the man lost to some private memory. Belle wondered just what he was thinking, what moment centering around Milah that he was reliving. 

Feeling like she was intruding, Belle still asked him another question. "I can't imagine the Dark One being happy about what was going on." 

"He wasn't. But he wasn't exactly in any position to fight me." Hook's gaze turned angry, his lips pulling back in a snarl. "Gods, I wish I had killed him. I had the chance you know....I had plenty. If he hadn't been such a coward, if he had taken up the sword...but then he knew as well as I did, that in a fight between us, I would have won." 

Hook felt the old familiar resentments rising, his one great regret making itself known. The if only's echoed in his mind the pain of it showing. "Milah would never have been killed, and in so brutal a fashion, if I hadn't...if I hadn't taken pity on the man." 

"Pity?!" Belle's tone was surprised. "But you took his wife?!" 

"That I did..but I could have taken so much more from him. His son and his life. I spared him, I played as fair as I could given the situation. I felt sorry for him because I had what he didn't. The love and affection that Milah couldn't give him. In a sick way I was grateful to him. Grateful and glad he was such a miserable creature because otherwise I would not have stood a chance of winning Milah for myself. If she had loved him, even just a little, she never would have left. She never would have even looked at me." 

He was turning from Belle, moving to leave the bed before his expression could run any uglier with anger and self hate. "I'm as much to blame for what happened, as he is...I destroyed a good woman by loving her." 

Hook heard Belle say his name, felt her arms go around him. He went still at that, standing at the edge of the bed, with Belle kneeling behind him on it. She was hugging him, and it nearly broke him, Hook wanting to cry and be comforted. But he didn't think it was possible, his guilt over Milah such that Hook might never be able to forgive himself. The what ifs that had tormented him for centuries echoed in his mind, the happy ever after denied to him by his own actions on the ship that fateful morning. 

He had hated Rumplestiltskin for centuries, living with his anger and resentments, looking for a way to make that monster suffer. To destroy him the way Hook had been, as if that could somehow atone the pirate for his own mistakes. Those mistakes had been hurting him, tearing Hook up from the inside out, the man tormenting himself with all the things that could have been if he had just done one thing differently. 

"It's...." But Belle wasn't saying it was okay, pressing against him more firmly, as she hugged him. "I'm sure Milah wouldn't have blamed you. Not if she loved you." 

Hook could have easily broken free of Belle's embrace, but he didn't want to. Didn't even think to try. He juststood there being hugged, listening to Belle say the things that Smee had sometimes said, the woman pointing out that Milah had been determined to leave Rumplestiltskin. That she would have found a way, would have found someone, anyone to go with, and that events would have most likely played out similar with a different man at the woman's side. 

That didn't make Hook feel better to hear, but Belle wasn't done speaking. "At least you LOVED her." She pointed out. "That was a precious gift that you gave her....and I'm sure you made her very happy in the years you did have together." 

"I did...WE made each other happy." He admitted in a hoarse tone of voice. "But I would have given that all up...if it meant she could have lived." 

"That's how you know it was real." Belle pressed her forehead against his back, her words muffled into the nightshirt. "You love her enough to be unselfish...to want to do what you think would have been best for her. And if she loved you, than she would have wanted the same. Don't you see Hook?" She questioned softly. "Milah wouldn't have wanted you to stay trapped in your grief, wasting your life chasing after vengeance. She'd want you to live, to be happy, to even love again." 

He actually shook, his trembling hand touching one of the slim arms wrapped around his torso. He knew what Belle was saying was right, but he had never felt it was possible. To live, to be happy, and to love someone else, someone who wasn't his Milah. But now? After two hundred years had passed, after meeting a woman as amazing and as beautiful in the soul as she was in looks? He was finally ready to believe. 

\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

To Be Continued.....

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not as happy with this chapter as I was with nineteen. I don't hate twenty, but it was a tough one to write, and I am worrying if I did it right. There's still plenty for them to talk about and process, so we'll see how next chapter goes. This chapter ended up being a double POV, mainly cause I couldn't decide whose voice it should be in, but also felt it best to show stuff from both their view points. Maybe next chapter will also be a double POV. I do know unless something severely goes wrong with the writing attempt, it will at least start as a Hook POV. 
> 
> Anyway, what I was worrying mostly about for nineteen had to do with the thoughts and feelings part of Hook's. I was worried it might seem like it was rushing his feelings too quickly, too soon. I have been trying very carefully to establish that he's not in love with her, but it's more than like, and more than sexual attraction and friendship. Something stronger than that, that is veering ever closer to being a romantic love. I was probably over worrying for nothing with nineteen, and I love the reactions you all had to that chapter! *big group hug* 
> 
> \---Michelle


	21. Twenty One

Hook wasn't the only one shaking. Belle trembled with the force of emotion, both hers and his, the woman hanging onto Hook, hugging him from behind. Her eyes ran hot with tears, her heart an echo of Hook's pain. It was a pain he had been carrying for some two hundred years, a pain laced with his anger, with his need for vengeance, but also tainted with an immeasurable amount of guilt. That guilt had surprised her, Belle never having imagined that Hook had found fault with himself for what had ultimately happened to his lover. 

Hook had in fact been blaming himself, letting the if only haunt him. How often had Hook let himself think like that, how often had he thought about how different life would have been if he had killed Rumplestiltskin when he had first had the chance? But Belle now knew his thoughts had run worse than that, Hook hurt by love, by the very love that he had for Milah, blaming it as much as Rumplestiltskin for the fact that the woman was dead. 

Her heart nearly breaking with emotion, Belle's vision blurred, the woman acknowledging just how wrong she had been. About Rumplestiltskin yes, but also about the man that she currently embraced, her arms wrapped tight around him from behind, Belle both offering comfort and taking it for herself. She pressed her forehead to the back of his shirt, inhaled the strong scent of him with flaring nostrils. Hook smelled like the storm he had been battling, the man having gone straight to bed with her after a harrowing night on the sea. 

That storm and it's dangers, couldn't come close to the battering of hurt that Hook's own guilt had done him. Belle couldn't begin to imagine how one could endure such a feeling, and for as long as Hook had, the endless blame and fault finding, his love twisted into something he viewed as damning. 

Hook wasn't blameless, no one was. The pirate, Rumplestiltskin, even the woman herself, Milah, had all played a part in the tragedy that had occurred. Hook shouldn't have run off with a married woman, and Rumplestiltskin shouldn't have murdered that woman in cold blood no matter how faithless and desperate Milah had been to escape her marriage. And she HAD been desperate, to the point anyone would have done. 

Belle realized there was a lot worse men to end up with than a pirate who had loved with all his heart. She inwardly shuddered at the thought of just what kind of abuse Milah could have ultimately suffered. Anything from rape, beatings, being stolen from, to having to whore one self out just to survive. It was because of Hook that Milah had known none of that, that she had not only survived, she had prospered. And even though Milah had ultimately ended up dead, she had been fortunate to not only know Hook, but to love him. 

Belle told Hook as much out loud, her words a fierce truth she intended to carve into his heart. She wanted that knowledge to fill him, to push out the guilt he had been living with, the anger and resentments that had been festering inside. He had endured the sting of them for too long, the pain staggering, twisting everything until his love had rotted. How his heart had survived that, Belle didn't know, but Hook hadn't yet become the man she had known in Storybrooke. 

That man still made unpleasant shivers roll through her, Belle remembering how angry and single minded the pirate had been when it came to his vengeance. His eyes had blazed dark with such raging emotions, his pain almost swallowed up to the madness that was his anger. Belle could never imagine embracing that man, comforting him, LIKING him. The Hook in Storybrooke had been just one dimension to her, a maelstrom of fury and threats. The Hook of the past was a man of many things, new facets revealed to Belle day after day. He was a man who had known more loss than any one person should, Milah, his brother Liam, his parents, a whole kingdom turned against him. 

Hook had suffered more than he had been happy, centuries worth of pain brought on the heels of the scant few years that the man had gotten to spend with Milah. It didn't seem and in fact wasn't fair, Belle's heart again hurting for Hook. But more than that hurt, she was determined, Belle not wanting to see the Hook of this time be warped by his pain into the man he had been in the future. She'd do just about anything to heal him, and Belle didn't care how askew she might set the timeline with her actions. 

Her mind set on this, Belle again gave a squeeze of her arms. Hook was no longer shaking, his fingers steady as they stroked her forearm. That innocent touch had been happening for a while now, and it was a caress that had soothed them both. Less innocent was Belle's creeping awareness of Hook, and of how her body was pressed so firmly against his back. She started to color with embarrassment, Belle attempting to pull away. Hook's caressing fingers suddenly locked around her wrist, the man holding her still. 

"Hook?" Belle inquired, uncertainty lacing her voice. 

"Thank you." His voice was gruffer than she was used to hearing, as though Hook himself was battling a strong emotion he wasn't ready yet to express. She didn't push him for it, Belle instead touching her forehead to his back in silent acknowledgement of his words. Hook would make a sound in response to that touch, another gruff and downright embarrassed clearing of his throat before speaking. "You've a magic about you, Belle." 

"I've not even a single drop of magic in my blood." Belle protested. Hook hadn't let go of her hand, but he was shifting his grip, turning so that he could stand facing her. She saw the serious light in his eyes, and the intent way that he focused his gaze on her. She found herself warming in response, flustered even before he continued speaking. 

"It's magic all the same." Hook insisted. His thumb was caressing the pulse of her wrist, the wild beat of it dancing under his repeated touch. Belle tried not to focus on that, or the way Hook centered his complete attention on her, the woman instead arching an eyebrow in mock challenge. "You just have this way about you. You make me...well...you make me put things into perspective. It's nothing new, and it's nothing that Smee hasn't told me a hundred times at least, and yet with you, I find myself wanting to believe..." 

Belle felt hope building in her heart, and this time it was she that clasped Hook's hand with both of hers. "Then it's a start!" She said excitedly. 

"A start..." He agreed, his eyes having dipped down to glance at their joined hands. A sensual smile curved his lips, the serious light in his eyes blazing brighter. She couldn't blush any redder, Hook having echoed the beauty's words with a meaning to them that was all together different from hers. It was hope and desire, and a yearning that was more than just sexual. It was a yearning for the future, a keen longing that had nothing to do with Hook's vengeance., and everything to do with Belle. 

It was all she could not to snatch her hands away in response, Belle unprepared to deal with Hook on that level of emotion. Friend, protector, even enemy she could handle, but a Hook who was falling headfirst into infatuation? She didn't dare think of it as anything more, Belle trying to rationalize, to reason away Hook's attraction. 

"You've been in Neverland for how long?" 

Hook blinked slowly, but didn't lose the warmth in his eyes. "Well it's hard to say exactly. But I reckon we've been here some two hundred years, give or take a few decades." 

"Two hundred years..." Belle murmured. "And you never once left Neverland in that time?" 

"No, never." 

"And I'm really the first woman you and your men have seen in all that time?" Belle asked. Hook frowned in response, perhaps having gleaned on to the nature of her thoughts. 

"First HUMAN woman yes. Not that the mermaids are in any way hospitable." Before she could begin to say anything else, his hook was gently touching her cheek. It was a shock of cold against her warm skin, the smooth underside of the hook's curve easing back, to play with a curl of her hair. "Two hundred years is a long time. But it was a time that I needed." 

"For your vengeance?" 

"For my heart." Hook corrected her, still playing with that strand of hair. "It takes a long time to get over the loss of the love of your life. And even longer to start to be able to believe in the idea of a second chance at a happy ending..." 

"So long as you believe, you can make it happen." She wasn't heartless, Belle knowing she had to tread carefully so as not to crush Hook just as he had finally started to heal and believe in second chances at loving again. "I am sure that once you leave Neverland, you will find a nice girl and..." She couldn't stop the gasp, the smooth edge of his hook suddenly pressing against her lips. Some dark emotion had flashed in the pirate's eyes, perhaps anger at the rejection he had sensed in her words. 

But he didn't snarl at her. His anger wasn't anything like that of the man he would be in Storybrooke. It was calm, Hook controlled, the man giving Belle a thin smile that bore no resemblance to that sensual look he had been wearing just seconds earlier. 

"I am sure that you are right." He said, his voice making an attempt to mask the emotion that was aflame in his eyes. "But I am not leaving Neverland. Not any time soon." 

When his hook lowered, and her hands were free, Belle could only continue to gasp at him in shock. "What, why? I thought you were ready to..." 

"To what?" Hook asked, then turned his back to her. "Give up on my vengeance?" He snorted derisively. "Hardly. The Dark One still needs to pay, the world needs to be made safe from the likes of him." 

"Vengeance won't get you any closer to making you be happy!" Belle cried out in earnest protest, reaching for him. She stopped short at touching him, Belle trembling with her upset. Hook had been so close, so close to being healed. The beauty knew she hadn't imagined it. Hook had shown hope, had been ready to believe. And yet the hurt was still there, the craving for vengeance just as strong if not stronger. And it just might be her fault, Belle remembering the change that had so instantaneously overtaken Hook's warm affection. 

It hurt worse that Hook didn't say anything in response to her cries. He didn't even look at her, instead gathering a fresh change of clothing, and heading into the cabin's private bathroom. It was a clear cut dismissal, Belle biting at her bottom lip knowing she just didn't have the nerve to follow. Not even to try and reason with him, to talk herself hoarse in an attempt to get Hook to give up on the vengeance that would ultimately lead to his ruin. 

With a heavy sigh, Belle allowed herself to fall over backwards into the bed's soft mattress. She stared unseeing at the alcove's ceiling, wondering if she could have botched things any worse than she already had. The look in Hook's eyes, how quick he had been spurred to anger hinted strongly that no, that there was little that could have ruined the moment more aside from the truth of just who Belle really was, and where she truly came from. 

It was all such a mess, she thought to herself. She couldn't be completely truthful, nor could she in any way return Hook's feelings. That affection he felt for her, that infatuation she refused to consider was the seedlings of a burgeoning love. Belle reasoned to herself that she was the first woman Hook had encountered in years, centuries spent alone without female companionship. It was no wonder his feelings would get confused, that he would start to think he might like Belle for more than just sex and friendship. 

In a lot of ways, the idea of a sexual interest was a lot easier to handle, than Hook's feelings being more than that. She could deflect the first, but how to stop the second from becoming even more than it already was? The answer was clear even if it wasn't one that would be easy to accomplish. Hook needed a woman, someone to focus on and distract him from Belle. The thought made her frown, her chest tightening with something Belle swore was not the first streak of jealousy. And it definitely wasn't relief, or so she insisted, when Belle acknowledged that getting Hook out of Neverland wasn't going to happen anytime soon. 

Her feelings more confused than Belle wanted to admit to, she found herself rolling onto her side. Her arm stretched out, her hand caressing the space in the bed besides her, where Hook normally lay. She had grown used to his presence besides her, to the feel of his arms holding her while she tried to sleep. She'd miss the looks he gave her, the way he teased her, and stole any opportunity to touch her. She was spoiled by him, by the attention he gave her, and Belle insisted to herself that was the only reason behind any conflict of interest she might be having. 

They didn't have a future together, Belle insisted to herself. But that fact wouldn't lessen her confusion, or the hurt that Hook must be feeling. A hurt he had tried to hide behind vengeance, Hook angry and it didn't fool her one bit. Neither did that sullen expression, Hook practically glaring as he walked out of the bathroom. His hair was still wet, the dark strands looking almost pure black in their wet state. His shirt wasn't completely done up, as was his preferred fashion, though Belle had often wondered if it simply had to do with the fact one hand made it more difficult to do up the snaps. 

For once he didn't bother with his coat, and it was such a startling sight to see, as though Hook had discarded a piece of himself in his haste to leave the room. 

"Hook?" Belle's voice was urgent, the woman having sat up the immediate second after he had walked out of the bathroom. 

"I'll see about waking Smee." He still wasn't looking at her, had barely paused before the door that would lead onto the ship's deck. "It won't be much longer before he brings you something to break your fast." 

She immediately got his intentions, the hurt creeping into her voice before Belle could stop it. "You're not going to eat with me?" He had almost never purposefully skipped out on breakfast with her, and he had never done so out of anger. 

"There's always plenty to do the day after such a bad storm." Hook told her, and she couldn't tell if he was lying, or just using the truth as an excuse. "And with the crew as small as it currently is, the work will be tripled for just about everyone." 

"I...I'm sorry....?" It wasn't what she had meant to say, nor was it the balm that either of them needed to soothe their hurt feelings. 

"What exactly are you sorry for, Belle?" Hook had slowly turned to look at her, his expression hard and unforgiving. 

For hurting him, for maybe breaking his heart, for not being able to be what he wanted and needed. But Belle said none of these things, fidgeting in place as she lowered her gaze from his. "I'm sorry I won't be able to help." 

"Don't apologize for what you can't do." Hook told her. "We both know what trouble you'll court if you set foot outside this room." 

She couldn't stop the reaction, the shiver that rolled through her. "I..." 

"Just do what you CAN." Hook added in a more sympathetic tone. "I'll take care of the rest." 

She wondered at the hidden meaning that might lurk behind those words, but Belle nodded her head in slow acceptance. It was the only thing she could do, her options so limited so long as she was trapped in Neverland. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate that I couldn't get this chapter to be any longer...but what you read, was like pulling teeth. A slow and painful process that took over a week of struggling to get this far. X_X 
> 
> So! Back! I got really burned out on this particular story, after updating so many chapters in so short a time. I was really burned out and needed a break, and real life dramas aren't helping the writing process. Also I have all these plans for the story, but am at a part that I am struggling to advance the story and relationships to get to those plans. Next chapter has got to be a Hook POV, and it will cover what he's really feeling, rather than what Belle thinks he's feeling. *trying not so spoil* 
> 
> \----Michelle


	22. Twenty Two

Stepping out onto the deck of the Jolly Roger, Hook saw that some gray clouds had lingered, a few stragglers left over from the past night's storm. They weren't anywhere as dark and as threatening, a light sprinkle of rain the worst that they could offer. The sea barely reacted to their presence, the waters calm and clear, actually sparkling from the sun. It made for a pretty sight, the gentle lap of the water something that should have proven soothing. That it did not, had nothing to do with the weather, or the dangers that were to be found in Neverland, and everything to do with the tumultuous feelings that lived on inside of Hook. 

There was the familiar, the anger, the depression, the guilt, but it was being buffeted by something new. A hope, a happiness that had been just a fleeting taste but Hook wanted more. That wanting left Hook afraid, the man wanted to glut himself on it, on hope, on happiness, and on HER. His expression turned hard, foreboding, Hook glaring at the few members of his crew that were already awake and working out on deck. Most didn't return the look, but at least two responded with scowls of their own. There was hatred there, but also jealousy, the men sick with envy over what they thought Hook had. 

Hook's expression became darker, the menace in his eyes turning away those who would challenge him. The hostility of his gaze promised death and retribution, but what his crew wouldn't understand was that it was all a mask for the hurt that he was feeling. Damn near staggered by it, Hook would have welcomed an attack at that moment, for the distraction it MIGHT have offered. 

He nearly snorted then, his scowling lips twisting further. As if anything could distract him from what he had just had, a happiness and a hope that hadn't proved lasting. Worse than that, because she was STILL here, Belle able and ready to tease and torment him with what he could never have. With what she would never give, not in this lifetime, Hook feeling the near crippling sting of her rejection. Barely surviving it with his heart still intact, he had reacted on instinct, purposefully lying to Belle for the first time ever. 

It should have made him cringe, if not the lie, then the hurt confusion that had sparked in response in her eyes. Hook's hope hadn't been the only one to take a blow that day, Belle crushed, perhaps even devastated to hear that his quest for vengeance would continue. He supposed Belle had thought Neverland was about to be a nightmare of the past, that home was almost in reach, Hook ready to find the girl Belle had spoken of. Instead it had become abundantly clear that Hook wasn't ready to leave Neverland, but not for the reasons that Belle might have assumed. 

The lie still thick on his tongue, Hook would never forget the hurt, the confusion, the frustration Belle had worn, the pirate hiding behind a vengeance he no longer cared much about. A vengeance he had known all along would never lead to his happiness, but Hook had pursued it all the same because there had been nothing and no one else to live for. And there still wasn't, his vengeance now hollow, his efforts and long life meaningless without someone to share it with. He no longer had Mila, and Hook had never had Belle, and the pirate just didn't have enough left in him to believe in a third chance at happiness. So he had lied, using vengeance as an excuse, as a means to buy him more time in a land where eternity was in abundance. 

If it wouldn't have been taken as a sign of weakness, Hook would have let out the heaviest and most troubled of sighs. But he was conscious of being watched, knowing his mutinous crew was always waiting, hoping for the chance or the distraction that would lead to their victory. He refused to give it to them, but it was a struggle to stay focused on the present danger, and not on the beauty inside his private cabin. Thoughts of her, of the fate that would befall her, chilled Hook's blood, the man knowing he had to be strong not just for himself, or Smee, but for Belle. He felt anything but, rendered weak in so many ways, but the anger made good cover for the torment inside him. 

Tortured by it, by the thoughts he was having, the ideas he was STILL entertaining, Hook's expression was one of open hostility. It lent him a confidence he did not quite feel, Hook purposefully stalking across the deck, his booted feet stomping loud across the wooden planks. His voice barked out orders as he moved, Hook telling them to check and secure the rigging, get some men roped and over the side of the ship, to patch up any damage that might have been wrought by the storm. 

He was still snarling orders when Smee hurried out onto the deck, the man red faced and panting from exertion. In between desperate gasps for breath, Smee muttered apologies, the man shamed faced for having slept as long as he had. Hook waved him off, telling the older pirate to go and fetch the lady some breakfast. Smee started to turn as though to hurry off when the wording registered. 

"Just the lady?" He inquired, Smee's eyes bright with concern. "You're not going to join her?" 

"Not today." Hook answered, his tone curt and dismissive. "There's too much work that needs overseeing." 

"I can handle the worst of it!" Smee protested. "You just go on back to the cabin, and enjoy the lady's company." 

Hook instead busied himself checking over the coarse fibers of the rope that had tethered so many of the crew in place last night. The weave of it was noticeably thinner, the violence of the storm, and the strain of holding so many in place having worked to erode some of it down in certain places. It would have snapped apart if the danger had lasted just a little bit longer. 

"Chuck the worst of it over the side." Hook said decisively. "Salvage what little you can, and be sure to secure in place the replacement before the hour is up. No telling when we might need it." 

"Aye captain." It was a dutiful response, but Smee was still frowning. "Now that that matter has been seen to, please...." Smee shifted in place, uncomfortable but not about to back down. "The lady does get ever so lonely." 

"She'll just have to manage for one day." Hook said, stepping away from the rope. Smee shadowed his every step, his words a worried, soft whisper, the man not wanting the rest of the crew to overhear. 

"Did....did something happen between you and the lady?" 

A yes or no answer didn't begin to come close to covering the complexity of what had went on. Of what had started to happen, or of the feelings, the hope, that had been crushed. A yes or no answer certainly wouldn't begin to explain how perfect a moment, a morning, it had been, or the overwhelming disappointment Hook felt to find it all in ruins. 

"Captain?" 

"It's nothing, Smee." Hook's tone was dismissive, but it wasn't close to fooling anyone, and certainly not Smee. The man had picked up on the way Hook had hesitated, Smee reading into that silence more than Hook had wanted to reveal. 

"In your own way, you both have been through a lot." Hook snorted in response to that. "And in so short a time." Hook raised an eyebrow at that, Smee continuing on. "You have to know what I mean. It's been a few hundred years since you've done more than live for vengeance. But the lady has changed that..." 

"Is THAT what you believe?" His mocking tone was a last bid attempt at defense, Hook moving about the ship's deck, checking on things. His fingers caressed carefully the smooth mast of the ship, searching for any signs of a crack that could prove devastating. 

"I don't just believe, I know it with all my heart." Smee insisted. "You've come alive after being stagnant for so long, a light and a vibrancy to you that wasn't there before. The lady Belle has been good to you, for you...and you her!" 

"Good..." Hook fought to keep from snarling, from letting his voice raise up in volume. "She has been put in a situation that's likely to end with her dead, with all manner of loathsome danger threatening her daily. Worse, she was brought into this situation because of ME." 

"It's not you who have put her in danger, but that brat Pan!" His protest was vigorous, Smee stepping forward as though he would reach out and grab hold of Hook's arm. 

"And what does he hope to accomplish except the end of me and my crew?!" Hook shot back, jerking away before Smee could touch him. The pirate knew if the older man had latched onto his arm, it would have ended with Smee knocked down to the floor, and Hook wasn't so far gone as to want to hurt his oldest friend. 

"She'll be the death of us, and I her!" Hook added, a growl accompanying those words. 

"I don't believe it." protest Smee. "I refuse to believe the lady will die. Not with you protecting her!" 

"And what is my protection worth?" Scoffed Hook. "I can't---won't leave Neverland, and every day we spend here, brings her closer to that deplorable fate." Smee looked so upset that Hook felt a slight softening of his most angry feelings. "Protecting someone isn't enough....not when you refuse to do the one thing that could help save them." 

"I don't believe you're that selfish!" A fired up Smee had cried out. His voice caught the attention of the others out on deck, Hook hissing at Smee to be quiet. The older man lowered his voice, but hadn't regained his composure, whispering heatedly at Hook. "I believe you'll do the right thing in the end. For the lady, and for you!" 

"Captain..." Hook was shaking his head no, Smee once again stepping in close. "You might not be ready just yet, but I can tell....you ARE letting go of your vengeance. Little by little...and it's because of her. Belle is opening your heart to possibilities you once thought beyond it!" 

Smee was right of course. Hook HAD let go of the idea of vengeance, and had let it go because of the feelings Belle stirred in him. His heart so dormant to anything but grief and anger for so long, had started to throb with real feeling, Hook wanting and hoping for things. A future he had once thought he had no right to, a love that wouldn't replace Milah's, but would burn just as bright and as powerful. And without it he would be plunged into the cold darkness once more, Hook already feeling the creeping tendrils of it on the outskirts of his awareness. 

That darkness seeped into even his thoughts, Hook acknowledging to himself that Smee was wrong about at least one thing. Hook wasn't good enough for Belle, his lie of this morning proving it. Unable to face the thought of letting her go, of letting her step out of his life, Hook had done the coward's thing. The pirate had selfishly hid behind a vengeance he no longer craved, keeping her in his life but also in the line of fire for all manner of danger. It had been a desperate bid for more time, Hook needing it to think, to plan, to do. Praying to any God who would listen for the right to be selfish for just a little longer, to allow him this time to somehow come to grips with what he HAD to do. 

That had to warred with what he wanted, and even Hook wasn't sure what he would ultimately use this time for. To seduce Belle or to say goodbye to her, neither one infinitely easier on the heart than the other. The pain of sending her away only matched by the guilt he would feel, Hook knowing it wasn't right to try and keep Belle through underhanded means. It wasn't just the danger found in Neverland, it was Belle's life. Her home, her family, the people she loved and depended on. And they her, Hook recalling things she had told him, the father that had no one else but a daughter who hadn't yet had the chance to reconcile with him. Hook couldn't in good conscience deprive them of that, deprive Belle of the life she had led in Storybrooke. 

And yet the indecision still played out inside him, right versus wrong waging war, and he wasn't yet strong enough, the words laying locked in his throat. He couldn't bring himself to tell Smee to set a course to leave Neverland, the selfish desires winning out over the noblest of his intentions. 

"Just a few more days." He murmured softly, but the words weren't fooling anyone. Hook already knew that that time wouldn't make things any easier, that the longer that he delayed, the more he stole of Belle's life. 

"A few more days until what?" 

It was one of the rare times Hook found himself cursing not praising Smee's attentiveness, and sharp hearing. "Until our old pal, Silver, is taken care of." A quick thinking Hook said in reply. 

"Oh?" Smee's voice had lowered. "You have a plan?" 

"I don't need one." Hook answered. "He'll make his move soon enough. And then I'll crush him in return." 

"I don't know if this one will be that easy." Smee sighed. "He seems intent on more than just overthrowing you as captain....." The older pirate seemed to shudder. "Involving the lady like that...." 

"Aye..." Hook growled low in his throat. It made him both seethe and be sick, Hook remembering Connor and fearing that the doctor was but the first of Jon Silver's attempts to drag Belle into his mad schemes. It was beyond troubling, the pirate Silver the first in a long line of mutinous scum to think a step beyond becoming captain. They had all wanted to kill Hook, and all had wanted to leave Neverland, but Silver was the first to consider the problem of how to do it. 

It was a secret Hook intended to take to his grave, the pirate intent on no one leaving Neverland until he himself was good and ready. That Silver knew there was a trick involved in the leaving, that the pirate would go so far as to try and rope Belle into seducing the secret out of Hook, spoke tons of how smart and prepared Silver was. 

A man that was more concerned with the far future than his immediate desires, Hook knew it wouldn't be easy to goad Jon Silver out into the open for a fight. Already he had made himself scarce, staying well out of the way of the opportunities the storm had offered them both. 

Thinking how easy it would have been to arrange an accident during the worst of it, Hook let his gaze touch upon each of his crew. The angers and resentments were still there, the hatred and jealousy dark in their eyes. Had Silver managed to put a leash upon the worst of it? Could Hook count on the pirate to control and keep them from mutinying any further? It might mean a break from the attacks, Hook certain Silver wouldn't want him dead until after he had dragged the secret out of him. 

Things were as dangerous as ever, but now they were doubly complicated. There was his mutinous crew, there was Pan, and there was also his feelings for Belle. Those feelings already such a weakness, he now had to worry about what Silver would do to Belle to force Hook's hand. He had more reason then ever to leave Neverland, and just as many excuses to stay, Hook knowing that even if he did set course to leave Neverland immediately, it wouldn't leave him or Belle safe, the pirates certain to try to kill him the instant the Jolly Roger was free of Neverland's waters. 

Wondering if he was using even that as an excuse to be selfish, Hook continued his distracted examination of his ship. The storm as brutal as it had been, could have done a lot more damage to the Jolly Roger than it had. If he worked the crew hard, it would be ready to set sail tonight. 

"Get every able hand out here and working!" Hook shouted, so that all on deck could hear him. "We make for the far side of the island tonight." 

"To the waters of the Serana Sea?!" A surprised Smee exclaimed. "But that's..." 

"Not any more dangerous than anything found in the Never Sea." Hook interrupted. "And hunting's always been more fruitful on that part of the island." 

"Hunting? At a time like this?" 

"At a time like WHAT, Ramonos?" Hook questioned sharply, staring down at the brown skinned, black haired pirate. Ramonos shifted, clearly uncomfortably in response to his captain's glare. 

"It's just...our numbers. They're already so diminished as it is. What with half our crew stranded on the mainland." 

"And stranded they shall remain." Hook's decision had cries of protest ringing out, but he wasn't fooled. Most of these men didn't give a damn about the rest of the crew. They just wanted to bolster their numbers against Hook. 

"They brought it on themselves." An ever loyal Smee said. "And don't you be forgetting, the captain could have done even worse then to just leave them there!" 

"Not much worse..." Came the muttered reply. 

"Enough." Snapped Hook. "Or else I'll send you to join them." The silence that followed had Hook nodding in approval, but inside he knew it wasn't grudging obedience that got them to behave, but the fear he and his threats inspired. "Now get back to work." 

"I'll just be fetching the lady her breakfast then." Hook turned a glance at Smee. The man was smiling, almost mischievous, a hopeful light dancing in his eyes. "Unless you be intending to join her yourself...?" 

"Smee...." Hook's voice lowered to a harsh whisper. "Don't you be getting the wrong idea. This trip to the far side of the island is nothing more than a chance to replenish our supplies." 

"Why would I be thinking it anything else?" Smee asked in a casually indifferent tone. "Aside from the fact that those supplies can be just as readily used for the long journey back home..." 

"Smee..." Hook groaned. "Nothing has changed." Except everything had, Hook thinking of Belle and the effect she had had on his heart. She was his hope, his happiness, but also his weakness. He had already fought and killed to protect her, just what else would he do in order to keep her? 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 

To Be Continued...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *sighs* I like this chapter, don't get me wrong. But I had a lot of difficulties with it too, and not sure I shouldn't have tried to add a few more sentences to the end there. But the fact is, every line I tried, felt forced instead of flowing naturally. 
> 
> I'm also fussing and fretting about some future things...got to get them on the same page feeling wise........feels like a tough thing to get to happen. Hook's closer to being there than Belle, that's for damn sure...X_X But anything else is tough to talk about without veering into major spoilers for stuff in the fic's future...@_@ 
> 
> \---Michelle


	23. Twenty Three

She had forgotten just how badly a person’s rejection could HURT. How that hot disapointment sent pain reeling inside of one’s heart. How it darkened one’s mood, how the thoughts caused by it brought worry and despair down to crush one to pieces in their grip. How those broken pieces then it turn pierced her, with the pain and the frustration, with the anger and the sorrow, and most of all the guilt. Belle felt them all, spiraling down their abyss into a depression that had left her moping in Hook’s wake. She had no one else to blame, no one to truly fault besides herself, the timing and the circumstances all so thoroughly wrong. It didn’t help that Belle was as much a victim as he, that the woman was thrust into a situation that was beyond her choosing. Just as the beauty had NEVER forgotten the danger that she was in, had never forgotten just who and what theatened her. 

There was the pirates and Pan, the mermaids and this inhospitiable land, but most of all there was HIM. Hook. Just thinking his name made Belle’s heart pang with her hurt and her regrets, the woman sorry for the pain that she had caused him. That it had been unavoidable in the moment, didn’t seem to much matter, Belle hurting for what she had done to him. The hope that she had tried to give him, that same feeling that she might have inadvertantly destroyed for good. Belle would never, ever forget the moment his hope had been crushed, the way his eyes had darkened with the pain, the way his lips had set together in a grim line of disapointment. 

Belle had known then almost immediately the wrong that she had done in her efforts to side step the feelings he had been so clearly developing for her. Her attempt hadn’t been gentle enough, she could see that now, Belle realizing it had been wrong to even suggest the idea of another woman. Not when the pirate had had so clear a yearning, so blatant a desire for the one who was already in front of him. Those feelings were exactly what Belle had been hoping to spare them both from, the woman knowing she wasn’t meant for the pirate. She couldn’t be, and not just because Belle was in a time and in place that the beauty had no real right to. Nevermind that she was over a hundred years in the past, and that Belle had no known way of returning to the future, Hook himself was the problem, who he was destined to be, that revenge seeking criminal who would and had done just about anything in the name of his vengeance, still FRIGHTENING the beauty. 

She was scared of that person, terrified of him turning from a friend to her foe, Belle not wanting to ever go back to a time when Hook had considered her a target. As a means to an end that he had needed to gain a comuppance over his enemy, the Dark One. It would break her heart even more, Belle now liking and considering Hook to be a good friend. One who she had been and STILL was lying to, had been from the first moment she had awakened in the past, injured in his bed. It didn’t matter that her lies were born of a necessity, that Belle had needed to safeguard her body and her well being. The woman was at the heart of it, a truthful person, an honest soul. And it killed something inside her, for Belle to have to keep on lying to a man who was now so dear to her, a man who was both a friend and a confidant. Her protector, Hook risking so much, his life and his hopes, and now even his heart. 

Such bravery, such sacrifice, deserved more than her lies. Hook deserved better, and Belle wanted to give it to him. But she was a coward, unable to believe, unable to risk that the truth coming out wouldn’t turn him into the man Belle had first enocuntered in the Evil Queen’s tower. Fear of THAT man, and the many lies and half truths that she was maintening, Belle knew how wrong it would be to accept any more of his feelings. She couldn’t be his lover, and Belle couldn’t let him build up hope of any real future at her side. Any more would be selfish of her, Belle knowing that she had no right to act on such things without being completely honest with Hook.

Caught in such a paradox of feelings, Belle didn’t always understand the soft hearted but complex emotions being born inside her where Hook was cconcerned. Frightened of and yet feeling for him, the hope of another woman had also sent slivers of a jealous awareness through Belle. A selfish side that she had tried to ignore, that had still thrilled to know that Hook was so thoroughly fixated on a chance with her, that the pirate had rejected the very idea of finding someone else. 

Upset at herself, upset at him, Belle knew she should be doing everything in her power to encourage his pursuit of another. Not just for the healing it might do him, but for the good it would do her in turn. Just as she couldn’t be there for him in the way that Hook so clearly wanted, Belle also couldn’t remain amongst his crew. Not with the ideas, the lust, that her mere presence was inspiring, Belle, Hook, and Smee all in ever increasing danger. For as skilled and as capable as the dark haired captain was, all it would take is one mistake, one fatal miscalculation, and HE would die. Belle’s life wouldn’t be worth living then, the depths of depravity unleashed upon her something truly worth shuddering over. 

Locked in own her thoughts, in her own upset, Belle could only pace about the length of the cabin. She could not hold still, could not even try, the agitation alight inside of Belle making her want to scream and to cry and to otherwise rage about. It was tantamount to the time that Rumplestiltskin had tried to break her heart, Belle’s hurt and confusion matched only by her anger and her disappointments. The only difference between that time and this, was that then Belle had had nothing to truly feel guilty about.

Torn up by that guilt, by all her conflicting emotions, Belle still didn’t miss the subtle sound of the cabin’s door opening. Such was her relief and her excitement, that Belle forgot one of the captain’s most cardinal rules towards keeping some semblance of peace among his crew. She rushed towards that open door, actually stepped foot within view of the deck. The gasp that she heard, that chiding sounding of her name, was too far removed from anything that was at all like Captain Hook’s voice, Belle sagging with her disappointments.

That look on Smee’s face, that frown, Belle had barely registered, too dejected to do much of anything save drift towards the window sill. Faintly she heard it, the door being shoved closed, and Smee’s far too admonishing tone.

“Belle, you know better….” He was saying, to which she could only shrug in response. She didn’t want to see if the censure of his tone matched the look in his eyes, Belle turning her attention to gaze out the window. The Never Sea bore little resemblance to it’s stormy counterpart of last night, the waters calm and tranquil in a way that Belle herself was not.

Without even realizing it, Belle had let out the deepest of exhales, a world’s wealth of trouble in that sigh. She DID know better and about so many things, Belle thinking of Hook and the truth, and how devastating a reveal it would be to them all if it were to get out. 

There was the clanging rattle of a tray being set down, that of the breakfast that Smee had brought with him. From the lonesome sound of a single spoon sliding about, Belle realized that the pirate had only fetched enough breakfast for ONE. That depressed her more thoroughly than anything that the older man could have tried to say, the hurt sinking in harder as Belle realized that Hook truly did intend not to join her for this meal. He HAD said as much, and yet Belle had hoped that the man would have changed his mind, given how much value she did place on his conversation and his company.

It was a sign of HIS hurt, this clear cut dismissal. Belle wondered if Hook would even bother to put an appearance in for dinner, or if he would use the storm’s aftermath as further excuse to avoid seeing her. It was with all her heart that she hoped not, Belle wanting---needing to talk to him. She had not a clue as to what to say to him though, Belle not knowing how to fix things between them without somehow giving him what he so clearly wanted. That of the hope and the feelings that went beyond the friendship that they had already established. 

Boundaries set, and boundaries pushed, Belle hated how awkward things had now surely become. Did their friendship stand even a chance of surviving? Would things between them every bear a resemblance to normal again? Or had she just broken Hook’s heart irreparably, the man never again willing to hope or take a chance where feelings were concerned? Belle almost groaned then, slumping down to the window’s sill. Hook had been so close, SO CLOSE, to being healed, to having a future worth living for. With the same breath that had encouraged and soothed him, she had also set out and destroyed Hook, and Belle couldn’t see a way around it. Not with the conversation that they had been having, Hook opening his heart raw to her, all his hurt and his guilt exposed. Belle had helped him through it, had helped him see that his love hadn’t been what had killed Milah but had saved her. Not just from an unhappy marriage, but from an unsatisfying life, Milah at last learning what it was like to be truly happy in the short time the two had spent their lives together.

But more than that, Belle had hammered home the truth of it, the beauty pointing out that if Milah had truly loved Hook as much as he had her, then the woman wouldn’t have wanted the pirate to waste his life on pursuing vengeance. That she would have wanted Hook to be safe and to be happy. It was all words that Hook had heard before, but today, for the first time ever, Belle had gotten him to actually believe in them. It truly had been a magical moment, a frozen handful of seconds where Belle had felt the hope bloom to life in his heart. 

The warm look in his eyes, the genuine pleasure of it curving his lips, Hook had looked at Belle as though she was responsible for the stars in the sky. She had felt empowered by such a look, but also made to be alarmed by it, the knowledge that she had, the lies that Belle had told, the half truths that the woman continued to maintain, seeming to crush her under their combined weight.

Again she sighed, and again the beauty was left wondering if there had been anything else that she could have done. Any other way to handle his feelings better. Now more than ever Belle hated the endless amount of time alone she had to herself in this cabin, the woman knowing that she was going to torture herself over all the if only and should have been.

“Well, if that will be all....” It was only Smee’s own unhappy tone that halfway got through to her, Belle realizing that he too was taking his leave of her.

“Wait!” She gasped out, turning towards him so fast, that Belle made herself dizzy. She actually had to close her eyes for one second, the room spinning and swaying just a little too much for comfort. When next she nerved herself to look, Smee was still there, waiting ever patiently for Belle to continue.

“How...” She stumbled over the question. “How is he?”

There was absolutely no need for Smee to ask just who the he in Belle’s question was. The red cap wearing pirate cocked his head to the side, as though considering how best to answer Belle’s question. “He’s….keeping busy.” Is the answer that Smee settled on.

“Oh.” Her body seemed to deflate with her breath, Belle taking that to mean she wasn’t going to get to see Hook any time soon. Maybe not even once night fell, but then Belle had already known that Hook had set out to avoid her the instant that he had left before breakfast’s arrival.

Smee looked at her a long moment, and his open and honest for a pirate’s face, played out the debate in his head. He actually opened and closed his mouth several times, either unable to find the right words, or that unsure of just how much he should reveal. Some secret shifted in his eyes, some twinkle of something that Belle had no hope of understanding on her own.

“Maybe it’s not my place to ask….” Smee began in an uncertain tone. “But….is everything all right between you and the captain?”

To Belle’s alarm, that question brought an immediate reaction out of her, a sudden prick of hot tears blurring her vision. She quickly spun in place, turning back to the window, trying to protect herself, and protect Smee from the hurt that Belle was still feeling.

“Belle?” Came Smee’s worried tone.

She no longer wanted the company, no longer wanted anyone around. Better to be left to wallow in her misery, to think her endless thoughts, then be forced to admit out loud that there was a problem now between her and Hook. Especially when it wasn’t a problem that could be worked out, Belle’s guilt and her lying eating away at her, the woman WANTING to be honest, but knowing that she couldn’t.

“What makes you think anything is wrong?” Belle asked in as mild a tone of voice as she could manage in the moment. 

“You mean besides the fact that the captain isn’t here right this very second?”

“It’s always busy after a storm.” Belle told him, repeating the words that Hook had used as his excuse when leaving her. “I would you think would know that, given how long you’ve spent as part of his crew.”

“Aye, the aftermath of such a terrible storm does indeed keep us busy with the repair and the upkeep of a ship as old as the Jolly Roger.” Agreed Smee. “But I’m thinking we can spare the captain an hour or so of his time.”

“Clearly your captain doesn’t agree.” Belle muttered, and she couldn’t help the wounded edge to her tone of voice.

“And that’s more than a bit strange.” Smee pointed out. He was the one to sigh when it became clear that Belle had nothing more to say on the matter. “What happened?” He demanded in a rare fit of his own private frustration. “It’s not like you and the captain to...”

“To what?”

“Well I don’t know if it’s accurate to call it a fight, but there’s a wealth of hurt feelings in the air.” explained Smee. Belle closed her eyes at the idea of Hook’s hurt, and with that, felt a wet streak of a single tear inch down her cheek.

“Is it that apparent to everyone?” Belle thought she had whispered it too soft to hear, and yet Smee answered it all the same.

“A bit, yes. He’s in a fouler temper than normal, and it doesn’t take much prodding to see the heavy heart that he’s wearing on his sleeve….”

She didn’t trust herself to speak, to think, to FEEL, Belle simply staring out the window at the sea. She tried to distract herself from her own upset, Belle attempting to count the many shades of blues and greens that shimmered about and colored the water. It didn’t help, maybe nothing could, Belle letting out a soft sniffle of sound. It only served to alarm Smee, the man hurrying towards her.

“Now I know something is wrong!” He exclaimed, his hand actually daring a touch on Belle’s arm. She wouldn’t look at him, wouldn’t so much as turn until she felt something pushed into her hands. Faded linen, a small cloth of some kind, and that little act of kindness nearly got the floodgates of her tears to open completely.

“Oh no, oh no!” Smee was panicked, and fanning his hands about the air. “Please don’t cry! Whatever you and the captain might have said, it can...”

“It can be what?” Belle sniffed, dabbing at her face with the cloth he had put in her hand. “Forgotten?”

“FIXED.” Smee corrected none too gently. “It can be fixed. Whatever you said to him, whatever he said to you, I’m sure it’s just a small bump on the road….”

“A small bump on the road!?” Belle exclaimed in a strangled tone of voice. “Smee, I think I just crushed ALL of his hope!” She watched Smee blink owlishly in reply to that announcement, his own face shocked.

“All of his hope?” He repeated slowly. She nodded, Belle feeling absolutely miserable. Smee still wore that stunned look of shock on his face, and then to Belle’s astonished surprise, the older pirate broke out into a wide grin.

“How can you SMILE at a time like this?!” Belle demanded, and if she hadn’t been so sad and upset, she would have turned furious at Smee.

“How can I not?” Smee countered, still grinning. “There’s only a few hopes I can be thinking the captain would still have that could even be crushed. And considering the fact that nearly all of them have to do with the Dark One and the captain’s vengeance against him, well somehow I can’t imagine you able to hurt him with THAT.”

Belle outright let out a sob, her eyes blurring, but not before she saw Smee lose his grin. He had no way of knowing, no way of guessing, not so long as she didn’t speak up and offer the truth herself. And yet Smee’s utterance had been too entirely too close to the mark of what Belle hid, the woman knowing that the truth could and would affect Hook, would both hurt him and give the pirate a reason to want to hurt Belle in turn. 

Smee was speaking in a fast and hurried tone, trying desperately to get Belle to stop crying. “I know it’s a poor thing to joke about.” He was saying. “I don’t like seeing the captain in pain, or YOU…” 

“But there’s a way that I look at this now.” He continued. “If you’re BOTH hurting for one another...then your hearts can seek forgiveness and healing together.”

“It’s not possible.” Belle whispered.

“Nonsense!” The cheer in Smee’s voice sounded a bit forced. “It’s not that it’s impossible...it’s just that it’s not that easy. But then, as the captain has always been reminding ME, anything worth having, takes a bit of work!” His tone sobered completely. “I don’t know what exactly went on today, but I do know you’ve had an effect on him. The captain has had his heart closed off for a long, long time. It’s nothing short of a miracle, YOU’RE nothing short of a miracle, to have got past the barriers he had erected around himself.”

“Now don’t shake your head at me.” Smee gently admonished. “Just listen and let yourself be open to the possibilities...the captain will do right by you, I know it...you just have to trust and do the same FOR him.”

Her eyes were still wet, Belle unable to keep from an open mouthed look of slacked jawed astonishment. She could have said so many things in the moment, even the truth. She wanted to unburden herself, had in fact a burning need to tell someone the truth. “I...” Belle had hesitated a second too long, the truth that did come out nothing at all like what was REALLY troubling her. “I told him he could find a nice girl…once he’s sailed from Neverland…”

“Oh.” Such a sound was a gross understatement of the situation. “Oh!” Now he frowned. “Begging your pardon, but what in the briny depths, made you say that?!” 

“He can’t have a future if hes set on me...” She offered up.

“And why the hell not?” Demanded Smee with his hands on his hips. She could only shrug in response, wanting to answer, but wanting to NOT. She was so tired of the lies and the half truths, so tired of having to guard against her own naturally honest self. But there was no one that she could totally trust, not even Smee, Belle so very frightened that to speak the truth to him, would in fact be as though directly relaying it to Hook’s own ears. 

“It’s...it’s complicated.” Belle muttered.

“How could it get any more complicated!?” Smee wanted to know. “Unless you are as closed off as he?” Smee shook his head no. “No, I don’t believe that. You’d never slip into his heart like you did, if that were the case.” Now the old pirate was the one pacing about the cabin in front of her. 

“It can’t be because he’s a pirate...” Smee muttered to himself. “The lady’s not as judgmental as that, not when all the captain has done is show her kindness after kindness.”

“Smee...”

“It can’’t be for lack of manners...” Smee continued as though Belle hadn’t just spoken his name. “The captain’s are impeccable, and he’s been more a gentleman than not where the lady is concerned.”

“Smee….”

“Lord knows, it can’t be because of how he looks, though I would never be so crude as to suggest the lady be so shallow and vain.” Smee sighed. He continued to mutter for a few moments more, than suddenly drew to a halt with a gasp. “Oh but if it’s Neverland itself that is keeping you from being with him….well I shouldn’t say, but I’ve a hunch our trip to the Serena Sea is about to change all that!”

“The Serena Sea?” Belle frowned, remembering the hand drawn map she had studied on more than a few occasions. “You mean that body of water that makes up the far side of the island?”

“Oh aye.” Smee was back to grinning, though that tentative show of teeth looked more than a little fragile. As though it would take NOTHING to wipe such a jovial expression from existence. “There’s not much to be found there that DOESN’T make for good hunting. If you don’t mind a bit of danger, that is!”

“I thought all of Neverland was dangerous….?”

“Oh it is, it is!” Smee agreed. “But the Serena Sea is even more so!”

“Then WHY even go there?” Belle asked in a plaintive tone of voice.

“Why indeed.” He continued to wear his grin. “The captain doesn’t much bother with that place, no one does...which is why it’s been an ideal dumping ground.” He giggled at Belle’s look. “Oh it’s not bodies we be after, but supplies. And not just of the edible kind!”

“Smee, you’re practically talking in riddles.” Belle complained, but at least the frustration had gotten her tears to stop.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said no one really bothers with that place, and that includes Pan! Which made it to perfect place for the captain and his crew to bury some secrets.”

“Secrets?”

“Treasure and the like...” Smee’s voice took on a conspiratorial whisper. “Would not surprise me if one of those buried things, was the magic key needed for us to all LEAVE Neverland.”

For a second Belle could only stared at the pirate, her mouth opening and closing without a word spoken. Then she shook her head, not wanting to dash Smee’s excitement, for crushing another pirate’s hope was the last thing that Belle wanted to do.

“And if we leave Neverland, you know who we’ll have to thank!?” Smee asked her. He was practically dancing in place, so excited was the old pirate. It made Belle realize that Smee was just as home sick as anyone else aboard this ship. Anyone else, save for Hook, whose vengeance had been his driving determination for some two hundred years.

Smee was suddenly wagging a finger at her, still grinning away, as happy and excited as could be. “He’s doing right by you! Now you do right by him!”

She could make no promises, not even the one needed to keep the old pirate smiling. The bowing of her head was easily misread, Smee taking it to mean she was capitulating on this.

“Oh! But don’t let on that you know! I’m thinking us leaving Neverland is a surprise the captain will be wanting to share with you himself!”

“All right...” Belle said, readily agreeing to that much at least. “But...but just be careful Smee. The rest of the crew won’t take kindly to you and the captain, if by some chance it turns out this trip ISN’T about leaving Neverland….”

Smee nodded vigorously enough, but Belle almost got the feeling the old pirate wasn’t even paying attention to anything that she now said. The woman held in her sigh, but couldn’t begrudge him his excitement or his happiness. Someone aboard this ship deserved to be happy for once, and it might as well be Smee.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Be Continued….

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay….I suffer with a thing called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. OCD for short. Why am I mentioning this? Because my OCD has gotten out of control to the point it is affecting my writing. On and off for about three years now (And I can’t believe it’s been about three years since I updated this particular story) I have TRIED to update it. Key word try. I knew my OCD had gotten out of control where my writing was concerned, when I ended up with an insane amount of opening line attempts. An insane amount. Like the first time I counted it was up to seventy three. SEVENTY THREE! Now it’s probably closer to being over TWO HUNDRED. T_T I could not for the life of me get an opening line that felt right, that I could build upon, and I tried several different angles of the idea I have, to try and get this chapter started, and always failed.
> 
> I’ve started to make use of my tumblr, (though I’m a long way from having most of my work up there as I just started posting this weekend.) and well...I am sorta considering posting my crazy amount of attempts in a post there. As a tangible proof that I HAD been trying to get this chapter written.
> 
> Spent the last three days rereading the existing 22 chapters, hoping and praying I would finally get unstuck on starting 23. It was a long hard road to get to it, and I am not completely happy with this chapter...I feel so unsure, but I feel like this is the best I can do for 23, or the story will be forever stalled. And I don’t want that. Not when I have so many plans, and so many scenes in particular, that I can’t wait to unleash on the readers! I have scenes I have been wanting and waiting to write since like 2015 for this fic.
> 
> One thing I worry, is trying to get the relationship where I need it to be. it’s a slow burn thing, but then I wonder if I can still rushing in terms of how much time has supposedly passed since Belle woke up in Neverland. I am wondering if I should have stated it to be more time...from my rereading, it sounded like only a few weeks had gone by….so I worry about that. But I am trying to press onward! I want to get to my planned scenes, and to see the ending be written out in story form, rather than in my crazy notes.
> 
> Another thing that bugged me when rereading the story is, well the fact remains when I first began work on this whole story, it was back in 2015, possibly 2014….so we didn’t have all that backstory on Hook and his brother except for that one episode in season 3A. Also didn’t have the full story on what had happened to Belle’s mom. So what bugs me is that, my story is inaccurate with regards to what was established in the cannon. So I hope you can forgive me on THAT front.
> 
> Also, Peter Pan hasn’t been forgotten. I have big plans for him, but he won’t feature heavily for some time. Just don’t want you to think I put him in the story, than dropped him. He will be back to cause trouble in a big way. He’s actually going to do something, several some things, that I have been so eager to write out, cause I am grinning evilly at the reaction they will cause. 
> 
> As always I have the big beats of the story all planned, but how the characters react, their conversations and feelings, sometimes cause me to have to play damage control. Basically I can never know or predict how they will react, how it will ultimately affect the final product. It tends to play havoc on my plans.
> 
> Think that’s everything I wanted to say right now. Or it could be my mind is blanking, cause I am dry as a desert thirsty now. @_@ And ever so eager to get this chapter proofread and posted. I hope ya’ll are still with me for this story, and I welcome any feedback you might want to give me. Thanks for listening me ramble on for so long. And again I am sorry for such a long gap in between story installments. 
> 
> \-----Michelle


End file.
